PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Montana Bas Ass (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Jupiters Cock (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Jupiters Cock has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Bas Ass
vs
Cock

190 cm
24
272 lbs
1 - 1 - 0

225 cm
25
275 lbs
1 - 1 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Counter fighter
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Montana Bas Ass!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 1 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Jupiters Cock!
The judges for this bout are Winston Alpacca, Bart Greer and Michael Johnstone.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Bas Ass throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Bas Ass takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.

It looks like Montana Bas Ass has been cut.
Bas Ass throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Cock sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Cock is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Some wild striking there from Bas Ass.
Bas Ass throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Cock sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Sloppy strikes from Bas Ass. Those never looked like landing.
Cock looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Bas Ass lands a nice shot to the body.
Bas Ass takes a swing at Cock's ribcage but misses.
Bas Ass connects with a crisp jab.

It looks like Jupiters Cock has been cut.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Bas Ass lands with a nice combination. Cock backs away looking to recover.
Cock takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Bas Ass bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Cock's head.
A swing and a miss from Bas Ass.
Bas Ass jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Montana Bas Ass seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Donk. Cock catches Bas Ass right on the button with a cross.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Cock instigates a clinch.
Bas Ass definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
A short uppercut from Cock.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Cock scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Cock is stalling here.
Bas Ass is trying to stall.
Cock will no doubt start fighting again in a minute but for now he's just having a little rest, leaning Bas Ass up against the cage.
Bas Ass lands a right hand that snaps the head of Cock backwards.
A right hand to the body from Cock.
A nice right hand lands inside from Cock.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Bas Ass looking to slow down the pace here.
Cock lands a body punch in the clinch.
Bas Ass is breathing heavily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bas Ass misses with a hook from the clinch.
Bas Ass tries to break free but Cock pushes him back against the cage.
Cock scores with a nice hook to the head.
Nice body punch from Cock - that landed with a thud.
Nice body punch from Cock - that landed with a thud.
Cock gets through Bas Ass's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Cock lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Cock lands with a left to the head.
Cock lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Cock lands a nice looking hook to the body, against the cage.
Cock lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Cock taking a breather.
Cock lands with a light punch inside.
A right hand to the body from Cock.
A short left from Cock.
A short left from Cock.
Cock blocking some punches.
Cock scores with a nice hook to the head.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A short left from Cock.
Cock can't find room to land a body shot as Bas Ass controls the action.
Cock digs a right hand underneath Bas Ass's ribcage. Bas Ass let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Cock lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Cock works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
Cock lands a body punch in the clinch.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Cock digs a right hand into Bas Ass's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Bas Ass's gas tank.
Cock lands an uppercut.
Cock is stalling here.
Bas Ass's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Bas Ass wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Cock lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Bas Ass or not.
Cock manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
Cock lands with a right to the head.
Cock has Bas Ass pushed against the cage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A right hook to the body lands for Cock.
Cock leaning his opponent against the cage.
Bas Ass takes a shot to the head.
Cock tries to work over Bas Ass's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Bas Ass tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Cock working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Cock lands with a left to the head.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Cock.
Cock throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Bas Asss head.
Cock lands with a short shot to the head.
Cock lands a body punch in the clinch.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Cock pushes Bas Ass back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Cock.

Bas Ass is rocked!
Cock presses Bas Ass against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
Oh Bas Ass is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Cock pushes Bas Ass back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Cock lands a right hand.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Cock.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Jupiters Cock dominated that round.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Some wild striking there from Cock.
Bas Ass seems to have got his legs back now.
Montana Bas Ass is winning the standup battle so far.
Bas Ass throws the left hand but Cock avoids the punch easily.
Bas Ass swinging wildly here.
Cock lands a jab.
Cock has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
Cock drops a shoulder and throws an uppercut that cracks Bas Ass right on the button. Bas Ass goes down! Cock follows him to the mat and finishes the job with more strikes! Cock gets the win via TKO!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:31 of round 2, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Jupiters Cock!