PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Kelvin Garnett (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). PoopyPants kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Deathly Quiet. Garnett has chosen Metallica - For Whom the Bell Tolls as his entrance music. Both fighters really staring each other down here, as Kelvin Garnett enters the cage!

PoopyPants
vs
Garnett

197 cm
27
222 lbs
15 - 7 - 0

199 cm
40
224 lbs
29 - 20 - 0

Good wrestling
Great elbows
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 7 - 0, fighting out of London, BitchFace PoopyPants!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 29 - 20 - 0, fighting out of London, Kelvin Garnett!
The judges for this bout are Daniel Blasius, Paul Aken and Saam Ante.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Garnett throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Garnett scores with the left hand. PoopyPants knows he should have avoided that one.
Garnett avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
PoopyPants jabs away that one connects to the head of his opponent.
PoopyPants fails with an attempt to clinch.
PoopyPants swings for the body but Garnett moves out of range.
PoopyPants fails with an attempt to clinch.
PoopyPants feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Garnetts jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Garnett throws a body punch but PoopyPants moves out of range.
PoopyPants misses with a body shot
and PoopyPants takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Garnett avoids the body shot from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants misses with a takedown attempt - Garnett sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
A nice inside leg kick there by Garnett. That's going to slow PoopyPants down.
PoopyPants lands a head shot.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Garnett takes a swing at PoopyPants's ribcage but misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jab from Garnett.
Garnett connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between PoopyPants's hands.
PoopyPants fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Garnett looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
PoopyPants avoids the body shot from Garnett.
Garnett keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
PoopyPants throws the left hand but Garnett avoids the punch easily.
PoopyPants throws a body punch but Garnett moves out of range.
PoopyPants is looking to wear down Garnett with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
PoopyPants fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Garnett avoids it really well and circles away.
Garnett stuns PoopyPants with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
PoopyPants has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
PoopyPants uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Garnett.
Garnett stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Garnett slips a jab from PoopyPants.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Garnett avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
PoopyPants takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Garnett is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
PoopyPants fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Garnett manages to avoid it.
Garnett connects with a high kick.
Garnett misses with a wild body shot.
Garnett throws a body punch but PoopyPants moves out of range.
PoopyPants needs to keep his hands up - Garnett had a free shot at his head there.
PoopyPants throws a shot to the body.
The fighters circling - PoopyPants throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Garnett just misses with a punch to the body.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Garnett, right into the meat.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Garnett tests PoopyPants's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Garnett loads up on a big right hand but PoopyPants slips the punch.
PoopyPants moves away from the strike by Garnett.
PoopyPants throws a shot from downtown. Garnett moves away and avoids it.
PoopyPants moves out of range as Garnett throws a body kick.

PoopyPants moves into the clinch.
Garnett looking to stall.
PoopyPants throws a punch but it's blocked by Garnett.
PoopyPants misses with some punches.
PoopyPants pushes off an throws an elbow but Garnett leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
PoopyPants looking to slow down the pace here.
PoopyPants throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for PoopyPants.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Garnett.
Garnett is looking to break free of the clinch but PoopyPants has double underhooks.

Garnett's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Garnett scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
PoopyPants catches Garnett with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Garnett circles away from the clinch attempt.
PoopyPants looks to land a combination but Garnett avoids it well.
Garnett lands a jab to PoopyPants's midsection.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Nice uppercut lands for Garnett. That snapped PoopyPants's head back.

PoopyPants closes the distance and looks for a trip takedown... aaaand he's got it - PoopyPants lands in his opponent's guard.
PoopyPants has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
The referee wants the fighters to be more active or he's going to reset them on the feet.
PoopyPants trying to control the position from guard on top but Garnett is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Kelvin Garnett will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Garnett moves out of range of the strikes.
Garnett swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Garnett fakes high and swings low for a body shot but PoopyPants manages to avoid it.
A head kick misses from Garnett.
PoopyPants works Garnett's body with a nice hook.
Garnett does a little shimmy and throws a leg kick. The leg kick missed by a considerable margin though, making him look a little bit silly for doing the shimmy.
PoopyPants chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Garnett can pounce on him.
Garnett takes one on the chin but keeps coming.

It looks like Kelvin Garnett has been cut.
Garnett turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
PoopyPants fails with a takedown attempt.
Garnett scores with a kick to the body.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
PoopyPants staying out of range there.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Garnett avoids the body shot from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants ducks under a wild hook from Garnett.
PoopyPants misses with a wild body shot.

PoopyPants moves into range and clinches up with Garnett.
PoopyPants jumps guard but Garnett stands there with PoopyPants around his waist. PoopyPants gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
PoopyPants is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.
Garnett blocks an elbow strike from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants tries a body shot but Garnett blocks it.
Garnett displaying some good clinch control by pressing PoopyPants up against the cage.
PoopyPants tries for a takedown. No joy.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for BitchFace PoopyPants. That's going to take a lot out of him.
PoopyPants has Garnett pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Garnett manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Garnett avoids the elbow strike from PoopyPants, against the cage.
A short left from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants tries to circle away but Garnett has him pinned against the cage.
PoopyPants prevents Garnett from breaking the clinch.

Garnett pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Garnett scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.

PoopyPants drives through and clinches with Garnett against the cage.
Garnett blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
PoopyPants doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
PoopyPants throws an elbow but it misses.

Garnett breaks from the clinch.
A big right from PoopyPants misses.
Garnett steps to the side to avoid the strikes from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Garnett scores with a punch to the head.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants misses with a body shot.
Garnett throws a nice inside leg kick.
PoopyPants throws a shot from downtown. Garnett moves away and avoids it.
Kelvin Garnett seems to be getting the better of the standup.
PoopyPants uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Garnett.
PoopyPants loads up on a big right hand but Garnett slips the punch.
PoopyPants tries to close the distance and clinch up but Garnett swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Garnett tests PoopyPants's chin there with a solid looking shot.
PoopyPants throws a shot from downtown. Garnett moves away and avoids it.
Garnett misses with a wild body shot.
Garnett jabs at PoopyPants's body.
PoopyPants takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
A swing and a miss from Garnett.
PoopyPants stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Garnett.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Garnett misses with an uppercut. PoopyPants saw that one coming.
PoopyPants misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Garnett.
Garnett connects with a leg kick. PoopyPants looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Garnett lands a slapping body shot.
Garnett tests PoopyPants's chin there with a solid looking shot.
PoopyPants thows a left - swing and a miss!
Garnett slips a straight right by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants throws a jab but it's blocked by Garnett.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
PoopyPants tries to clinch but Garnett moves away
and Garnett counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Garnett scores with a jab to the body.
PoopyPants is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Garnett throws a hook but PoopyPants blocks it.
PoopyPants throws a predictable looking body shot
and Garnett counters with a big head kick but PoopyPants shrugs it off.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Kelvin Garnett showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Kelvin Garnett's cut.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. So, we enter the final round. Let's see if either fighter can bring us a finish, or whether we're going to the judges scorecards.

Garnett thows a body shot but no joy.
PoopyPants thows a left - swing and a miss!
Garnett chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Garnett misses with a hook. PoopyPants ducked under it nicely.
The fighters circling - Garnett throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Nice uppercut lands for Garnett. That snapped PoopyPants's head back.
Garnett closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
PoopyPants scores with a shot to the body.
Garnett lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
PoopyPants throws a shot from downtown. Garnett moves away and avoids it.
A cross from Garnett lands.
PoopyPants is looking to clinch but Garnett is avoiding it.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
PoopyPants moves in looking to clinch but Garnett pushes him off.

That's one minute gone in the round.
PoopyPants tries to clinch but Garnett is having none of it.
PoopyPants ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Garnett moves away.
PoopyPants lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Garnett throws a nice head kick!
PoopyPants thows a body shot but no joy.
Garnett turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
A telegraphed right hand from Garnett misses the target.
Garnett throws a body punch but PoopyPants moves out of range.
Garnett slips a straight right by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
PoopyPants swings for the body but Garnett moves out of range.
PoopyPants throws the left hand but Garnett avoids the punch easily.
PoopyPants swings and misses with a hook to the body.
BitchFace PoopyPants has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Garnett throws a head kick that half lands.
Garnett misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Garnett tries a low kick but PoopyPants avoids it.
Garnett throws a quick inside leg kick.
Kelvin Garnett is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Garnett jabs PoopyPants right on the nose. PoopyPants blinks but takes it well.

PoopyPants fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Garnett, pushing him back against the cage.
PoopyPants fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
PoopyPants misses with an elbow strike.

Garnett escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
PoopyPants thows a body shot but no joy.
PoopyPants stuns Garnett with a nice body shot, before stepping back out of range.
Both fighters circling a little - Garnett finishes the exchange with a kick to the body.

PoopyPants rushes Garnett and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants blocks an uppercut.
PoopyPants tries for a takedown. No joy.

Garnett breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
PoopyPants tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Garnett manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Garnett ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
A shot to the body from PoopyPants misses
and Garnett counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
PoopyPants throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Garnett throws a shot to the body.
Nice straight punches there by Garnett. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Garnett.
PoopyPants is on the wrong end of a nice combination from Garnett.
Garnett lunges at PoopyPants with a hook that half lands and is half blocked by PoopyPants's hand.
Garnett moves into range and connects with a jab.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Garnett punishes PoopyPants's body with a nice straight punch.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Garnett throws a head kick but PoopyPants moves out of range.
Garnett turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Garnett throws out a powerful jab.
Garnett connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Garnett throws a leg kick which misses PoopyPants's front leg but catches the back leg as PoopyPants tries to avoid it.
A good leg kick by Garnett.
Garnett throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
PoopyPants misses with an uppercut.
PoopyPants lands a slapping body shot.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
PoopyPants tries to close the distance and clinch up but Garnett swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Garnett fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Kelvin Garnett is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
Garnett lands with a shot to the body.

And that's the end of the fight!
Kelvin Garnett comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I've got Garnett winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Daniel Blasius scores the fight 27:30
Judge Paul Aken scores the fight 27:30
Judge Saam Ante scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Kelvin Garnett!
Kelvin Garnett took to the microphone after his victory and thanked his sponsors, Cripplers Corner for their support in the buildup to the fight.