PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Elijah Pitakaka (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Marvin Harris (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Pitakaka kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is my dick. Harris has chosen Heretic Anthem as his entrance music. This should be a great matchup!

Pitakaka
vs
Harris

189 cm
23
217 lbs
9 - 1 - 0

181 cm
22
213 lbs
9 - 4 - 0

Decent wrestler
Lethal high kicks
Insanely flexible

Decent wrestler
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the light heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Elijah Pitakaka!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 9 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Marvin Harris!
The judges for this bout are Colin Fray, Paul Gruel and Micheangelo Fripello.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Harris lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Pitakaka has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Pitakaka and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Pitakaka misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Pitakaka throws a head kick that misses.
Harris takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Pitakaka throws a head kick but Harris moves out of range.
Pitakaka lands with a kick to the temple. Harris shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"
A head kick misses from Pitakaka.
Pitakaka looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Harris fails to land with a series of punches.
Pitakaka connects with a high kick.
Harris takes a head kick and shrugs it off.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Pitakaka misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Harris.
Harris blocks a head kick by Pitakaka.
Harris tries to score with a low kick but Pitakaka moves his leg out of the way.
Harris tries a low kick but Pitakaka avoids it.
Harris throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Pitakaka feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Harris's calf.
Pitakaka goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Pitakaka.
Pitakaka scoring well with a low kick there.
Some bone on bone action there as Pitakaka checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Pitakaka connects with a leg kick. Harris looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Pitakaka misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
A head kick misses from Pitakaka.
Pitakaka misses with a head kick.
Pitakaka misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Harris avoids the head kick by Pitakaka.
Harris misses with a wild combination.
Pitakaka pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Pitakaka throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Harris.
Harris avoids the head kick by Pitakaka.
Harris looks to land a combination. Pitakaka sees it coming but can only parry a couple of the shots.

It looks like Elijah Pitakaka has been cut.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Pitakaka throws a head kick that misses.
Harris takes a kick to the body and keeps moving.
Pitakaka fakes the leg kick and cracks Harris in the body.
Pitakaka misses with a body kick.
Pitakaka scores with a head kick.
Harris ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Pitakaka moves away.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pitakaka throws a quick head kick that skims the top of Harris's head.

Harris is rocked!
Pitakaka tries a head kick but it misses.
Harris lands a slapping body shot.
Pitakaka is breathing heavily.
Harris scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Pitakaka takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Pitakaka lands with a head kick! That's gotta hurt.
Pitakaka throws a head kick that misses.
Harris throws a right hand that Pitakaka ducks under and follows up with a left that Pitakaka also avoids with ease.
Harris thuds a left hand into Pitakaka's body.
Harris checks a low kick from Pitakaka.
Harris tries to score with a low kick but Pitakaka moves his leg out of the way.
Elijah Pitakaka seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Pitakaka fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Harris has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Harris misses with a two punch combination.
Pitakaka throws a head kick that half lands.
Pitakaka throws a head kick but Harris moves out of range.
Pitakaka is on the wrong end of a nice combination from Harris.
Pitakaka throws a head kick that half lands.
Harris rushes Pitakaka with punches - Pitakaka moves straight backwards instead of circling and gets clipped by the second strike... and the third... and the fourth! Oh, Pitakaka goes down! Harris follows up with more strikes and the ref steps in to end the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:57 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Marvin Harris!
Marvin Harris is the new light heavyweight champion!