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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Jaakko Kilpinen (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). PoopyPants is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by Deathly Quiet. BitchFace PoopyPants has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?
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| 184 cm
29
220 lbs
16 - 11 - 0 |
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197 cm
26
222 lbs
13 - 6 - 0 |
BJJ Purple Belt
Lethal high kicks
KO power |
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Good wrestler
Great elbows
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
16 - 11 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Jaakko Kilpinen!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
13 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, BitchFace PoopyPants!
The judges for this bout are Tarja Halkonen, Anni Minnemäki and Roosa Järviläinen.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A left lands for PoopyPants.
We've been told by Kilpinen's head coaches at Qube Striking that he's been working on his takedown defense in preparation for this fight.
Kilpinen lands a leg kick that knocks PoopyPants off balance momentarily.
PoopyPants shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as Kilpinen sprawls well. Kilpinen wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. PoopyPants gets slowly back to his feet.
Kilpinen walks into a straight right hand from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants tries to score a power double leg takedown but Kilpinen sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten PoopyPants somewhat.
PoopyPants slips under a jab from Kilpinen.
Nice defenses there by Kilpinen.
PoopyPants lands an overhand right.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
PoopyPants tries for a takedown but Kilpinen sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
Jaakko Kilpinen has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of BitchFace PoopyPants.
Kilpinen fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and PoopyPants has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
PoopyPants takes one on the chin but seems OK.
Kilpinen misses with a head kick.
Kilpinen wants to clinch.
Kilpinen dodges the punch combination from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants has been spending a lot of time sparring his boxing in the run up to the fight, trying to sharpen up those hands and look for a knockout.
That's one minute gone in the round.
PoopyPants shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Kilpinen throws the kick towards the body but PoopyPants avoids it.
Kilpinen slips a jab from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants looks for a takedown here. Will he get it? Kilpinen is fending him off so far but PoopyPants persists. Nope, Kilpinen circles away and we're back to standing.
Kilpinen uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from PoopyPants.
Kilpinen looks to score with a jab to the body but PoopyPants is just out of range.
PoopyPants wants to clinch.
Kilpinen throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
PoopyPants swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
PoopyPants avoids a kick to the body.
PoopyPants bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
PoopyPants shoots in looking for a single leg takedown. Kilpinen is trying to defend but PoopyPants finishes it well and ends up in half guard. Let's see if he can advance position further.
Kilpinen tries to roll over but PoopyPants keeps him under control.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants is working for a kimura but Kilpinen is defending it quite comfortably.
PoopyPants is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Kilpinen doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time PoopyPants.
PoopyPants is trying to work for a kimura but Kilpinen is defending well.
PoopyPants wants to control but Kilpinen is keeping him busy.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants is trying for a guillotine from the top but the pressure isn't in the right place so Kilpinen is just riding it out for now. PoopyPants eventually gives up the hold.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Kilpinen is looking for a sweep. PoopyPants is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
PoopyPants takes a deep breath and rests his weight momentarily on top of his opponent, to control the position.
PoopyPants seems like he's working for an arm triangle here. He's freed his trapped foot and he's rotating nicely. Kilpinen is in big trouble! He's tapping out! This one is aaaaaaaaaaaall over!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:56 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Arm Triangle). BitchFace PoopyPants!
BitchFace PoopyPants seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
42% |
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