PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Wooden Pencil (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Mika Kallio (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Pencil kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Full Retard. Well, I have no idea who's going to take this one!

Pencil
vs
Kallio

185 cm
21
193 lbs
8 - 0 - 0

193 cm
25
272 lbs
8 - 1 - 0

Good wrestling
Solid boxing
Experienced

Good takedowns
Good kicks
Heavy handed

Dragon

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Wooden Pencil!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 8 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Mika Kallio!
The judges for this bout are Don Winkell, Timothy Bukovac and Jack Bonds.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Pencil throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
Kallio tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
A jab lands there for Pencil.
Kallio checks the leg kick nicely there.
Kallio fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
Pencil keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
Pencil throws a sloppy head kick
and Kallio cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Pencil throws a chopping leg kick but Kallio manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Pencil with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Pencil tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Pencil swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Kallio uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Pencil.
Pencil thows a body shot but no joy.
Pencil misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Pencil throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Kallio defending well as Pencil loads up on a big left hand.
A head kick misses from Pencil.
Pencil lands with a nice body punch.
Pencil tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Kallio is able to avoid easily.
Pencil throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pencil tries a head kick but it misses.
Wooden Pencil is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Pencil throws a jab but it's blocked by Kallio.
Some bone on bone action there as Kallio checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Pencil rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Kallio counters with a nice kick to the body.
Left hook, right uppercut from Pencil.
Kallio walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Kallio avoids the body shot from Pencil.
Kallio stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Pencil.
Pencil thumps Kallio with a low kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kallio lands a nice leg kick that just misses Pencil's sensitive parts.
Pencil wants to slow Kallio down by chopping away at his legs.
Pencil throws out a loose jab but Kallio uses good head movement to avoid it.
Pencil fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Kallio checks it well.
Kallio bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Pencil looks to land a left hand but Kallio moved out of range nicely.
Kallio blocks a head kick by Pencil.
Pencil throws a head kick that misses.
Pencil throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Pencil throws a quick inside leg kick.
Pencil avoids a kick to the body.
Kallio avoids the head kick by Pencil.
A swing and a miss from Pencil.
A head kick misses from Pencil.
Pencil tries to work over Kallio's front leg with a kick but Kallio checks it.
Nice uppercut there from Pencil.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Pencil connects with a leg kick. Kallio looked like he was expecting something else and didn't defend it.
Pencil misses the shot to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Wooden Pencil dominated that round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Pencil connects with a solid leg kick.
Pencil works his jab well there, keeping his opponent at a distance.
Kallio throws a head kick that misses.
Pencil swings for the body but Kallio moves out of range.
Kallio bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.

Kallio decides to change it up a bit and drives through with a nice takedown into half guard.
Kallio is trying to get back to his feet now but his leg is trapped.

Kallio stands up from half guard.
Pencil misses with a body shot.

That's one minute gone in the round.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Kallio checks a leg kick.
Pencil tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Pencil scores with a hook to the body. Kallio takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.

Kallio dives in and scores a takedown into Pencil's guard.
Kallio wants to stand but Pencil is controlling his posture from full guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Pencil uses the ropes to get back to his feet.
Pencil looks to land a right hand but Kallio moved out of range.

Kallio closes the distance and after a bit of a stuggle, scores a takedown into Pencil's guard.

Pencil is working an open guard so Kallio takes the opportunity to get back to his feet.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Good work by Kallio as he checks the leg kick.
Pencil throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A telegraphed right hand from Kallio misses the target.
Pencil defends well against a solid takedown attempt from Kallio.
Pencil throws a sloppy head kick and Kallio moves out of range easily.
Pencil misses with a body kick.
Pencil walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Kallio checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Kallio scores with a leg kick.
Kallio looks to score with a jab to the body but Pencil is just out of range.
Pencil uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Kallio has time to react.
Kallio moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Pencil connects with an inside leg kick.
Wooden Pencil is winning the standup battle so far.
Pencil's jab looks to have found its range, popping Kallio under the eye.
It really doesn't seem like the step up in weight is hurting Pencil here at all. He's more than holding his own against the bigger man.
Pencil throws a hook but Kallio blocks it.
No luck with that takedown attempt from Kallio.
Pencil ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Pencil fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Kallio manages to avoid it.
Wooden Pencil seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Pencil cracks Kallio with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Pencil scores with a shot to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Wooden Pencil will probably get the nod.
That's time! Pencil's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Kallio has taken the fight to the clinch.
A short right from Pencil on the inside.
Pencil with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Kallio misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Pencil.
Still in the clinch, Pencil scores with a nice short uppercut.
Pencil missing with knees to the body.

Pencil breaks from the clinch.
Pencil misses the jab.
Pencil scores with a leg kick.
Pencil cracks Kallio with an open hand slap.
Kallio ducks under a wild hook from Pencil.
Kallio avoids the body shot from Pencil.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Pencil throws a head kick but Kallio moves out of range.
Kallio blocks the body kick.
Pencil throws a head kick but Kallio moves out of range.
Pencil fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Kallio on the side of the head.
Pencil lands with a good body shot.
Kallio keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Pencil throws a shot from downtown. Kallio moves away and avoids it.
The fighters circling - Pencil throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Kallio checks the leg kick nicely there.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Pencil looks to throw the jab but Kallio is out of range.
Pencil lands with a right hand.
Wooden Pencil is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Pencil throws a body punch but Kallio moves out of range.
Kallio tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Kallio takes a body punch but keeps moving.
Kallio throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Pencil misses with a low kick.
Pencil throws a series of punches but Kallio moves out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Pencil misses with a low kick as Kallio jumps back.
Pencil throws a lazy head kick
and Kallio counters with a right hand to the body.
A head kick misses from Kallio.
Mika Kallio has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

Kallio has taken the fight to the clinch.
Kallio misses with an elbow strike.
Kallio drops down for a takedown but doesn't get it.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kallio is looking to break free of the clinch but Pencil has double underhooks.
Kallio's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.

Pencil breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Pencil throws a sloppy head kick and Kallio moves out of range easily.
Pencil throws a body punch but Kallio moves out of range.
Pencil throws a body kick that misses.
Kallio throws a sloppy head kick and Pencil moves out of range easily.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Pencil throws a sloppy head kick and Kallio moves out of range easily.
Pencil thows a body shot but no joy.

And that's the end of the fight!
Wooden Pencil showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Pencil, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Don Winkell scores the fight 30:27
Judge Timothy Bukovac scores the fight 30:27
Judge Jack Bonds scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Wooden Pencil!
Wooden Pencil thanked the fans post fight for their support.