PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Polvi Lumpio (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think PoopyPants might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to Deathly Quiet. Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!

PoopyPants
vs
Lumpio

197 cm
24
226 lbs
9 - 3 - 0

185 cm
29
195 lbs
13 - 9 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Great elbows
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Knockout power

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, BitchFace PoopyPants!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 9 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Polvi Lumpio!
The judges for this bout are Patrick Alders, Daniel Blasius and Radbod Blank.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Nice sprawl there from Lumpio as PoopyPants shoots in.
PoopyPants feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Lumpios jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
Lumpio throws out a token jab with nothing on it.

Lumpio closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the ropes.
Lumpio tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Lumpio lands a body punch in the clinch.
Lumpio trying to land knees to the body.
Lumpio prevents a takedown attempt there.
Nice elbow from PoopyPants.
Come on Lumpio - let's have some action - none of this stalling nonsense.
PoopyPants lands a nice elbow.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Lumpio lands a knee to the body.
Lumpio avoids the elbow strike from PoopyPants, against the ropes.
Lumpio misses with a knee to the head.
Lumpio trying to stall but PoopyPants improves his position.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lumpio dodges an elbow strike from PoopyPants.
Lumpio throws a knee to the head but misses.
Lumpio blocks a punch to the side of the head.
PoopyPants gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.

Lumpio is rocked!

It looks like Polvi Lumpio has been cut.
Lumpio tries a knee to the head but PoopyPants blocks it.
Lumpio is still on wobbly legs! Can PoopyPants finish him?
PoopyPants misses with an elbow over the top.
PoopyPants throws an elbow that misses.

PoopyPants works for the underhooks and manages to get a trip takedown into guard.
PoopyPants will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
PoopyPants advances position into side control!
Lumpio really doesn't want to stay on the ground with PoopyPants. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.

PoopyPants is working to tighten is grip on Lumpio's neck. He's isolated an arm and is working for an arm triangle. Lumpio has recognised the danger and is trying to turn with the submission but PoopyPants is really squeezing tight and eventually Lumpio passes out! PoopyPants breaks the hold and jumps onto the ropes to celebrate! Submission of the night, I'd say!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:40 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Arm Triangle). BitchFace PoopyPants!
In his post fight interview, BitchFace PoopyPants started talking himself up. Luckily his charisma kept the crowd on side and gave him a good reception.