PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Elijah Pitakaka (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dark Deeds (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Pitakaka comes to the cage accompanied by my dick. I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Dark Deeds was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Pitakaka
vs
Deeds

189 cm
20
217 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

180 cm
26
210 lbs
0 - 1 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Lethal high kicks
Insanely flexible

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Untouchable Fight Nutrition

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Elijah Pitakaka!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of New York, Dark Deeds!
The judges for this bout are Alyssa Summers, Columbo Gatti and Dean Styles.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A head kick misses from Pitakaka.
Elijah Pitakaka seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Deeds uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Pitakaka.
The fighters circling - Deeds throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Deeds throws a hook but Pitakaka blocks it.
Pitakaka tries a head kick but it misses.
Pitakaka throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
Deeds ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Pitakaka moves away.
Deeds throws a shot to the body.
Deeds jabs at Pitakaka's body.
Deeds looks to throw the jab but Pitakaka is out of range.
A slapping leg kick lands for Pitakaka.
Deeds throws an overhand right that lands on Pitakaka's shoulder, as Pitakaka tries to avoid the shot.
A punch combination from Deeds misses.
The fighters circling - Deeds throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Pitakaka steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Deeds.
Deeds waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Pitakaka.
Deeds looks to throw the jab but Pitakaka is out of range.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Deeds takes a head kick and shrugs it off.

It looks like Dark Deeds has been cut.
A head kick from Pitakaka lands but Deeds takes it in his stride.
Pitakaka throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Deeds.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Pitakaka keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Pitakaka scores with a kick to the body.

Pitakaka lands a big head kick that sends Deeds tumbling to the mat! Pitakaka takes a step backwards and waves Deeds back to his feet - he wants the finish!

Deeds is rocked!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Pitakaka throws a powerful right kick. Deeds tried to block low but the kick was high! Deeds was taken right off of his feet! Pitakaka jumps in to finish the job and the ref tackles him! The fight is over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:16 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Head Kick). Elijah Pitakaka!
Elijah Pitakaka was full of energy after the big win and talked about how he thinks he can do big things in this sport. The crowd were appreciative of his determination to succeed.