PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between optimus Prime (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Testicular Cancer (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Prime
vs
Cancer

200 cm
22
260 lbs
3 - 0 - 0

190 cm
23
215 lbs
3 - 0 - 0

Good wrestling
Brawler
Intelligent

BJJ Purple Belt
Counter striker
Solid chin

Hell's Balls Fightwear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, optimus Prime!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Testicular Cancer!
The judges for this bout are Tarja Halkonen, Ben Zyskovitsi and Marco Blurström.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cancer pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Cancer looks for a takedown but Prime sprawls well.

Prime drops down and drives through with a powerful takedown into guard.

Cancer has his foot on Prime's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Prime works his way back into a safe position though.
Prime content to stall in guard here.

Cancer looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Prime tries to stand but Cancer is controlling from the bottom.
Prime has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.
Prime is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
Prime's ground tactics aren't going to win him many fans. Let's hope he's got fireworks for us if he gets back to his feet because he's not doing much on the ground.

Cancer has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Prime can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Prime is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.

Cancer is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.

Prime stands up from guard. Let's bang!
Prime moves away from the strike by Cancer.
Cancer swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Prime.
Cancer tries to clinch but Prime moves out of range.
Prime fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
optimus Prime seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Prime looks shocked there as he takes a right hand to the temple.
Cancer throws a head kick that misses.

Prime scores a trip takedown into side control. Nice.

Prime stands up and beckons Cancer to his feet.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cancer throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Prime misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.

Prime drives through and clinches with Cancer against the cage.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Prime wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Cancer lands a nice knee to the body.
Knees to the body from Cancer.
Cancer looking to slow down the pace here.

Prime has dropped down and is working for a takedown. Cancer is trying to keep an underhook but Prime manages to get the takedown into half guard.
Prime stalling.
Cancer tries to get to full guard but Prime has control of the leg.
Prime performing his best blanket impression for a moment.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Prime wants to free his trapped foot but Cancer is holding on for dear life with his legs.

Cancer actively working from the bottom here.
Cancer looks gassed!
Prime controlling the action here.
Both fighters really going for it on the ground here!
Cancer wants to improve his position but Prime is controlling well.

Cancer looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.

Prime is trying to work for a kimura but Cancer is defending well.

Neither fighter is doing enough for the referee's liking and he's decided to stand them back up.
Prime fails to land the takedown.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.

Prime looks for a takedown. He's got it. We're now in half guard.

Cancer looking for submissions off his back.
Prime with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Cancer is looking for a sweep. Prime is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Prime performing his best blanket impression for a moment.
Prime trying to mount his opponent but Cancer defends it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

optimus Prime dominated that round.
That's time! Back to the action!

Horrible takedown by Cancer or perhaps it was just good defense by Prime which made him look bad.
Cancer thows a left - swing and a miss!
Prime avoids the clinch attempt nicely.

Prime decides to change it up a bit and drives through with a nice takedown into half guard.

Cancer is looking to sinch up a gullotine here but Prime pulls his head out easily.
Prime tries to pass to full mount but Cancer defends it.
Prime stalling.

Prime is looking for a kimura but Cancer is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Prime to get the leverage.
Prime is trying to control the action in half guard but Cancer is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Prime works his foot free and advances to mount.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cancer manages to regain half guard. Good work.
Cancer is breathing heavily.
Prime thows a wild elbow that connects with the canvas.
Neither fighter is being very active at the moment, with Prime in particular looking to stall.
Cancer gets back to full guard.

Prime avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Cancer keeping moving, preventing Prime from controlling successfully.
optimus Prime overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.

Prime decides he's had enough of playing guard and decides to stand. Come on Cancer, up you get!

Prime closes the distance, clinches up and gets a nice trip takedown into side control. Very smooth.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cancer gets one leg under and gets the fight to half guard.
Prime is looking to take a break and control but Cancer is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.

Cancer looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.

Prime stands, ready to strike. The ref makes him back up and allows Cancer to get to his feet.

Prime drives through with a takedown into guard.
Prime controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.
Cancer avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.

Prime avoids a guillotine attempt easily.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Cancer throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Prime stopping the sweep attempt from Cancer.
Prime seems content to control from guard here. He's going to have to remain active though if he doesn't want to get stood back up.
Prime slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.

Prime is trying to land an Americana. He has the arm isolated but Cancer is keeping cool and he's avoided the danger for now.
Cancer is looking to regain half guard here but Prime keeps moving and retains side control.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.

Prime wants to work for a kimura but he's foiled early by Cancer, who protects the arm well.
Cancer is looking for a sweep.
Cancer stops Prime from passing to mount.
Cancer is looking for a sweep.
Prime throwing strikes but missing, from side control.

Prime is looking to finish here, going for an Americana. Cancer knows the correct defense though, so he's OK.
Cancer tries to improve position but can't.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

optimus Prime dominated that second round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! This is the final round!

Prime wants to clinch.

Excellent takedown into side control there by Prime.
Cancer tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Prime is looking to take a break and control but Cancer is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Cancer tries to improve position but can't.
Cancer sneaks a leg under to get back to half guard.
Cancer is looking to improve his position.
Cancer takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.

Cancer is looking to sinch up a gullotine here but Prime pulls his head out easily.
Cancer is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Prime is just sitting in half guard, waiting for something to happen.
Cancer is looking for a sweep. Prime is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.

Prime is looking for a kimura but Cancer is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Prime to get the leverage.

Prime seems to be looking for submissions.

Prime is looking for a kimura but Cancer is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Prime to get the leverage.
The fighters are battling for position here. Cancer manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
Prime stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Cancer swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Prime throwing strikes from guard but Cancer blocks nicely.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.

Cancer looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.

Prime avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Prime slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.

Cancer working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Prime doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Prime manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.

Cancer has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Prime can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Cancer looking to sweep here. No luck so far.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Prime seems content to control from guard here. He's going to have to remain active though if he doesn't want to get stood back up.
Cancer utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.

Cancer working for a triangle but Prime defends it easily.
Prime is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
Prime wants to control from the top but Cancer keeps moving.
Prime not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.
Prime thows a big elbow that misses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Cancer keeping full guard, as Prime tries to pass.

Prime avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Prime sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Cancer's guard.

Cancer looking for submissions off his back.
Prime is controlling the pace.
Cancer tries to roll over but Prime keeps him under control.
Testicular Cancer has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
The two fighters exchange a few words. I couldn't hear what they were saying but maybe it's more fun if you make it up yourself. Prime connects with a nice short shot to Cancer's temple.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to optimus Prime.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Prime, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Tarja Halkonen scores the fight 30:27
Judge Ben Zyskovitsi scores the fight 30:27
Judge Marco Blurström scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... optimus Prime!
optimus Prime is the new heavyweight champion!