PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Laz Icarus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Icarus comes to the ring accompanied by Flying dutchman. PoopyPants has chosen Deathly Quiet as his entrance music. Laz Icarus has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Icarus
vs
PoopyPants

194 cm
28
221 lbs
16 - 7 - 0

197 cm
24
226 lbs
9 - 2 - 0

Good wrestling
Dangerous knees
Cardio machine

BJJ Purple Belt
Great elbows
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 16 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Laz Icarus!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 9 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, BitchFace PoopyPants!
The judges for this bout are Paulsen Ambrosius, Paul Aken and Daniel Blasius.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Icarus tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
PoopyPants just misses with a punch to the body.
Icarus connects with a right hand. PoopyPants shakes it off.
Icarus tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Icarus swinging wildly here.
PoopyPants throws a looping overhand right but Icarus ducks down to avoid it.
Icarus lands with a straight right. PoopyPants didn't see that one coming.
PoopyPants takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Icarus moves out of range of the strikes.
Icarus with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling PoopyPants to score with a decent uppercut.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Icarus lets loose with a powerful body kick. PoopyPants will feel that in the morning.
Icarus uses good head movement to avoid the hook from PoopyPants.

PoopyPants gets a clinch.
Icarus tries to stall but PoopyPants uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Icarus misses with some punches.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
PoopyPants throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Icarus lands a good knee to the midsection. PoopyPants won't want to take too many of those.
Icarus swings away with an uppercut that misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Icarus tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Icarus softening up his opponent with strikes, against the ropes.
Icarus landing knees to the head.
Icarus misses with a knee to the head.
Icarus pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the ropes.
PoopyPants lands with a left to the head.
Icarus creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.

PoopyPants manages to break the clinch.
Icarus misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
A head kick misses from Icarus.
PoopyPants throws an overhand right that lands on Icarus's shoulder, as Icarus tries to avoid the shot.
Icarus doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
PoopyPants throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Icarus throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
PoopyPants swings for the body but Icarus moves out of range.
Icarus rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but PoopyPants moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Icarus throws a wild combination but nothing lands.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Icarus scores with a sloppy right hand. PoopyPants should have avoided that one.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Icarus lands with a kick to the ribs.
Icarus displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as PoopyPants throws out the jab.
PoopyPants ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
The fighters circling - PoopyPants throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
PoopyPants throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Icarus.
PoopyPants connects with the punch.
A jab from PoopyPants misses.
PoopyPants connects with a good right hand that stumbles Icarus. Icarus circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
PoopyPants throws a jab but it's blocked by Icarus.
Icarus with a nice cross.
PoopyPants slips under a jab from Icarus.
PoopyPants throws out a powerful jab.
Icarus throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
PoopyPants lands a right hook to the body.

Icarus closes the distance and clinches.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Icarus with an attempt at a knee that misses.
PoopyPants blocks an elbow strike from Icarus.

PoopyPants tightens his grip and picks Icarus up, before dumping him to the ground. Icarus manages to land in guard.
We could do with one of the fighters taking the initiative a bit more on the ground - they're both waiting to capitalize on a mistake.
The referee looks like he's ready to step in and stand the fighters back up.

PoopyPants drops back, looking for a kneebar! Icarus looks panicked! The fighters roll across the mat, one looking to finish, one looking to escape. Icarus looks to have wriggled free... Yes, he's got his leg free and he's dived into side control! Good work there from Icarus!
Icarus tries to stand but PoopyPants is controlling his head.
PoopyPants is not content to let Icarus control the position.
PoopyPants is looking to reverse the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Icarus stands up and beckons PoopyPants to his feet.
PoopyPants connects with a nice looking jab.
Icarus throws a head kick but PoopyPants moves out of range.
PoopyPants takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Icarus misses with a straight right.
PoopyPants throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Icarus sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Icarus throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants throws a jab when Icarus was well out of range.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
PoopyPants avoids the head kick by Icarus.
Icarus misses with a series of wild punches.
PoopyPants rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Icarus counters with a big head kick but PoopyPants shrugs it off.
Icarus pulls out of a head kick attempt.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Laz Icarus dominated that round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Icarus fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. PoopyPants looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
PoopyPants misses with an uppercut.
Icarus scores with a nice right hand.
A jab from PoopyPants does it's job there.
Icarus moves out of range as PoopyPants strikes.
PoopyPants avoids the body shot from Icarus.
Icarus ducks under a wild hook from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Icarus.
Icarus defending well as PoopyPants loads up on a big left hand.
PoopyPants is on the wrong end of a nice combination from Icarus.

PoopyPants is rocked!
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Icarus throws a hook to the side of PoopyPants's head but PoopyPants sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
PoopyPants scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Icarus doesn't seem bothered though.
PoopyPants throws an overhand right that lands on Icarus's shoulder, as Icarus tries to avoid the shot.
Icarus misses with an attempted mid kick.
PoopyPants has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from PoopyPants there as he acknowledges the shot.
A swing and a miss from PoopyPants.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Icarus throws the left hand but PoopyPants avoids the punch easily.

PoopyPants closes the distance and clinches.
PoopyPants on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Knees to the body from Icarus.
Icarus misses with a knee to the head.
PoopyPants is working for a takedown up against the ropes. He can't get it on this occasion though.
Icarus with an attempt at a knee that misses.
PoopyPants is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the ropes.
Icarus with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
PoopyPants tries to break free but Icarus pushes him back against the ropes.
Icarus lands a nice uppercut.

PoopyPants has moved round to his opponent's back and is looking for a suplex! Oh snap! He's tossed Icarus clear over his head and slammed him to the mat!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
PoopyPants trying to control momentarily.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

PoopyPants tightening his grip on Icarus, looking for the choke.
Icarus holding both PoopyPants 's hands and preventing any damage.

PoopyPants seems to be going for a rear naked choke. He has an arm under Icarus's chin but Icarus turns very nicely into PoopyPants's guard. Good BJJ skills being displayed there by Icarus.

PoopyPants looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

PoopyPants working away from the bottom but not quite defensive enough there because Icarus has passed into half guard!
PoopyPants is looking to improve his position.
PoopyPants is looking to control Icarus's leg but it's slowly edging free. Can PoopyPants avoid being mounted?
Icarus prevents PoopyPants from improving his position.

Icarus postures up and decides to stand up, from the half guard. The ref calls for PoopyPants to stand up.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants throws out a powerful jab.
PoopyPants pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Icarus lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!
PoopyPants might want to mix his strikes up a bit more. He's just going for head shots at the moment and that can become a bit predictable.
Icarus throws a right hand that PoopyPants ducks under and follows up with a left that PoopyPants also avoids with ease.
Icarus tries to bum rush PoopyPants with a series of wild strikes but PoopyPants uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Laz Icarus is winning the standup battle so far.
PoopyPants swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Icarus throws a right and a left that PoopyPants avoids nicely.
Icarus tried to score with a low kick but PoopyPants checks it.
Icarus lands with a head kick! That's gotta hurt.
Icarus tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Laz Icarus is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
PoopyPants thows a body shot but no joy.
PoopyPants moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Icarus throws a shot from downtown. PoopyPants moves away and avoids it.
PoopyPants misses with an uppercut.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Laz Icarus will probably get the nod.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. This is the final round!

Icarus stuffs the takedown.

Icarus closes the distance and clinches.
PoopyPants missing with knees to the body.
Icarus stalling.
PoopyPants misses with an elbow strike.
PoopyPants wants to break the clinch but can't.
PoopyPants throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
PoopyPants trying to land knees to the body.
Icarus using the Thai plumb to throw knees but PoopyPants has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Icarus.
Icarus taking a breather.
PoopyPants throws an elbow that misses.
A body shot lands from PoopyPants.
Icarus lands an elbow inside that PoopyPants shrugs off.
Icarus keeps the fight in the clinch, despite PoopyPants's efforts to push away.
PoopyPants looks to throw an elbow but misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Icarus pushes PoopyPants back against the ropes and lands a hook to the side of the head.
PoopyPants lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
PoopyPants throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Icarus misses with a knee to the head.
PoopyPants misses with an elbow strike.
Icarus throws a punch but it's blocked by PoopyPants.
Icarus looking to throw knees to the head but PoopyPants is blocking nicely.
Laz Icarus has scored more points in the clinch so far.
PoopyPants throws an elbow but it misses.
Icarus lands an elbow inside.
Icarus looking to throw knees to the head but PoopyPants is blocking nicely.
PoopyPants has hold of a leg and is looking for a trip takedown. Icarus avoids it nicely though and we remain in the clinch.
Icarus tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Icarus with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Icarus creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through PoopyPants's defenses.
Icarus pushes PoopyPants back against the ropes and unloads with a body punch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Icarus looks to throw an elbow but misses.
PoopyPants is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the ropes.
Icarus throws a head punch that misses.
PoopyPants changes levels and goes for a takedown here. Icarus fights it off and pushes away nicely.
Laz Icarus has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of BitchFace PoopyPants.
A looping hook to the body misses from PoopyPants. Icarus does a little dance to reset his feet.
PoopyPants tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Icarus was well out of range. Poor timing from PoopyPants.
Icarus lands with a kick to the temple. PoopyPants shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"
Laz Icarus is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Icarus connects with the punch.
PoopyPants is still on wobbly legs! Can Icarus finish him?
PoopyPants avoids a punch combination nicely.

PoopyPants gets in close and instigates a clinch.
PoopyPants seems to have recovered his senses.
Icarus just leaning against PoopyPants, taking a breather.
BitchFace PoopyPants has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
PoopyPants wants to get back to striking at distance but Icarus won't allow it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Icarus throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
PoopyPants has had enough of the clinch but Icarus keeps him there for the moment.
PoopyPants tries for a takedown but Icarus manages to get underhooks.
Icarus using the Thai plumb to throw knees but PoopyPants has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Icarus is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.
Icarus blocking some punches.
A battle for position here, against the ropes.
With the fighters up against the ropes, PoopyPants throws an elbow but misses.
PoopyPants misses with an elbow over the top.
Icarus trying to land knees to the body.
PoopyPants working aggressively here.

PoopyPants escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Icarus tries a head kick but it misses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Nice defenses there by Icarus.

PoopyPants gets tackled into the ropes by Icarus. Icarus maintains the clinch.
Icarus tries to stall but PoopyPants uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Icarus leaning his opponent against the ropes.
PoopyPants lands a nice elbow.

It looks like Laz Icarus has been cut.
Icarus misses with an elbow over the top.
Icarus blocks an elbow strike.
Icarus throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but PoopyPants blocks it with crossed arms.
Icarus using the Thai plumb to throw knees but PoopyPants has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Icarus struggles to land a body shot inside as PoopyPants controls his hands.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
PoopyPants pushes off an throws an elbow but Icarus leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the ropes.
PoopyPants is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but Icarus is keeping busy.
A nice glancing elbow lands by PoopyPants.

And that's the end of the fight!
Laz Icarus showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Icarus, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Paulsen Ambrosius scores the fight 30:27
Judge Paul Aken scores the fight 30:27
Judge Daniel Blasius scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Laz Icarus!
An out of breath Laz Icarus thanked his loyal fans in his post fight interview, giving them credit for his success over the course of his career.