PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Frank Turd (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and New Delight (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Delight comes into a darkened arena with his song building. My Pride kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! New Delight told me before the fight that he's been watching a lot of DVDs so let's see if that helps him in this one! I can't wait to find out!

Turd
vs
Delight

194 cm
21
185 lbs
5 - 2 - 0

185 cm
20
190 lbs
1 - 1 - 0

Good wrestling
Dangerous knees
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Solid chin

Valhalla Q160 Nutrition

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 5 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Frank Turd!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, New Delight!
The judges for this bout are Chris Saunders, Jeff Smith and Colin Fray.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Turd gets a clinch.
Turd tries a knee to the head but Delight blocks it.
Turd misses with a knee to the head.
Delight struggles to land a body shot inside as Turd controls his hands.
Turd has Delight pressed against the cage, preventing Delight from circling away and getting back to striking at range.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Delight.
Delight wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
Turd blocks an uppercut.
Delight lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Turd looking to slow down the pace here.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Delight.
Delight tries to break the clinch but Turd is controlling the position.
Delight scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Turd with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Delight misses with a hook from the clinch.
Delight lands an uppercut.
Delight is trying to force a seperation but Turd has the dominant position.
Delight lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Delight lands with a short head shot on the inside.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Turd unloads a knee to the mid-section. Delight lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.
Delight tries to throw a body punch but Turd avoids it by throwing Delight back against the cage.
Turd wants to stall.
Delight scores with a nice hook to the head.
Turd scores with a knee to the head.
Turd misses with a knee strike.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but Delight blocks with his arms.
Turd blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Turd tries a knee to the head but Delight blocks it.
Delight takes a knee to the side of the body.

Delight manages to break the clinch.
New Delight seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

Delight drives through and clinches with Turd against the cage.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Delight working aggressively here.
Turd tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Turd blocks an uppercut.
Delight goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Delight misses with some punches.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Turd taking a break, stalling in the clinch.
Turd is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.
Turd connects with a knee to the head.
Delight misses with a punch on the inside.
Turd using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Delight has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
Delight blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
With the fighters clinched against the cage, Delight creates a bit of distance for himself and scores with a nice uppercut.

Delight's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Turd fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Delight has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Turd lands with a kick to the temple. Delight shrugs as if to say "is that all you've got?"
The fight stays on the outside here - Delight looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Delight blocks the body kick.
Turd slips under a jab.
Turd swats away the attempt to clinch by Delight.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Turd swats away the attempt to clinch by Delight.
Turd throws a head kick but Delight moves out of range.
Delight tries to clinch up.
Delight tries to clinch up but Turd circles away and keeps his distance.
Turd showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Delight.
Delight is looking to clinch but Turd is avoiding it.
Turd misses with a body kick.
Turd circles away from the clinch attempt.
Delight misses with a body punch
and Turd counters with an inside leg kick.
Turd circles away from the clinch attempt.
Crunch! Delight slams his shin into Turd's torso.

Delight forces Turd back against the cage and clinches.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Turd's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Turd taking a breather.
Delight swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Delight misses with some punches.
A head punch on the inside from Delight fails to land.
Delight is trying to break free.
Turd keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Delight's efforts to push away.
Delight scores with a nice hook to the head.
Turd with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Delight lands a nice shot to the body.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!

Delight breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.

Delight has Turd up against the cage in a clinch.
A head punch on the inside from Delight fails to land.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Turd taking a breather.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Turd misses with a knee to the head.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

New Delight dominated that round.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Turd pushes Delight up against the cage in a clinch.
A short right from Delight on the inside.
Turd trying to stall but Delight improves his position.
Delight can't find room to land a body shot as Turd controls the action.
Delight on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but Delight blocks with his arms.

Delight pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Turd throws a front kick that sends Delight stumbling back into the cage.
Delight lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Turd circles away quickly and effectively.
Turd takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Delight goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Turd keeps the fight on the outside.
Turd motions for Delight to come forward. Turd throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Delight tries to clinch there but Turd circles away.
Turd scores with a push kick.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Turd circles away from the clinch attempt.
Turd lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Delight moves out of range as Turd throws a body kick.
Delight falls off balance throwing a combination
and Turd counters with a body kick that brings a smile to the face of both fighters.
Delight is looking to slow Turd down with leg kicks.
Good work by Delight as he checks the leg kick.
Turd lands with a slapping head kick.
Delight is looking to clinch.
Delight tries to grapple but his opponent circles

and Turd counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Turd.
Turd looking to throw knees to the head but Delight is blocking nicely.
New Delight seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
Turd is trying to stall.
Delight managing to block the knees to the body from Turd.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Turd.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Delight is trying to push Turd away but Turd has him pressed against the cage, so he's going nowhere.
Turd is trying to maintain a safe position but Delight gets an underhook and turns Turd into the cage.
Delight misses with a short punch on the inside.
Turd is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but Delight is keeping busy.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Delight managing to block the knees to the body from Turd.
Delight misses with some punches.
Turd with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Delight tries to throw a body punch but Turd avoids it by throwing Delight back against the cage.
Delight tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Turd's elbow.
Delight lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Turd throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Delight blocks it with crossed arms.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but Delight blocks with his arms.
Delight lands a body punch.
Turd throws a knee to the head but misses.

Delight pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Delight misses with a few strikes there.

Turd rushes Delight and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Delight misses with some punches.
Turd tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
Delight lands with a right to the head.
Delight is looking to break free of the clinch but Turd has double underhooks.
Delight pushes Turd back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Delight misses with a hook to the ribs.
Turd throws a knee to the head but misses.
Turd blocking some punches.
Turd putting his Muay Thai to good use. He has Delight in a tight clinch and is doing some damage with knees to the body.
Delight blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Delight working aggressively here.
Delight lands with a left to the head.
Delight scores with a hook to the body.
Turd looking to throw knees to the head but Delight is blocking nicely.
Delight working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Turd misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Delight.
Turd with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Delight lands with a left to the head.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but Delight blocks with his arms.
Delight has a couple of punches blocked by Turd.

Delight's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Turd throws a solid leg kick but Delight takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Turd.
Delight misses with a left hand
and Turd counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
A nice inside leg kick there by Turd. That's going to slow Delight down.
Delight misses with an uppercut. Turd saw that one coming.
Delight tries to clinch up but Turd circles away and keeps his distance.
Turd avoids the body shot from Delight.
Delight jabs Turd right on the nose. Turd blinks but takes it well.

Turd tries to keep at a distance but Delight has taken the fight into the clinch.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Turd tries to land knees in the clinch but Delight avoids the damage to the body.

Delight's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Delight moves out of range as Turd throws a body kick.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Frank Turd will probably get the nod.
That's time! Turd's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. The crowd applaud as we get ready to start the final round!

Turd connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
New Delight is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Delight cracks Turd with a good jab.
Turd scores with a leg kick.
Delight throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Turd looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Delight lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Turd has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Turd and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Turd misses with a body kick.
Left hook, right uppercut from Delight.
Turd throws a head kick that misses.
Delight tries to close the distance and clinch but Turd swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
A head kick from Turd lands but Delight takes it in his stride.
Delight moves into range and connects with a jab.

Turd is rocked!
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Good work by Delight as he checks the leg kick.
Oh Turd is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!

Delight has taken the fight to the clinch.
Turd seems to have got his legs back now.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Delight.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but Delight blocks with his arms.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Delight lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Turd with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Delight is trying to break the clinch but Turd is controlling him.
A short uppercut from Delight.
Delight is trying to break the clinch but Turd has him pressed against the cage.
Delight tries to work over Turd's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Delight softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Turd misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Delight.
Turd connects with a knee to the head.
Delight slowing the pace effectively.
Turd misses with a knee to the head.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Delight.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but Delight blocks with his arms.
Delight is working Turd over against the cage.
Delight lands with a short head shot on the inside.

Delight escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.

Turd gets a clinch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Delight breaks the clinch.
Delight tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Delight swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Delight rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Turd moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.

Delight moves into the clinch.
Delight is trying to break free.
Delight looking to slow down the pace here.
Delight blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Turd misses with a knee strike.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Delight as Turd tries to tie him up.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but Delight blocks with his arms.
A head punch on the inside from Delight fails to land.
Delight throws a punch but it's blocked by Turd.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Delight tries a body shot but Turd blocks it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Delight misses with a hook from the clinch.
Delight misses with a hook from the clinch.
Delight doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Turd throws a knee to the head but misses.
Turd tries a knee to the head but Delight blocks it.
Turd throws a knee to the head but misses.
A short left from Delight.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
Delight working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
Turd misses with a knee strike.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Come on Turd - let's have some action - none of this stalling nonsense.
Turd with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Turd throws a knee to the head but misses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Delight avoiding damage.
Turd manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
Delight is trying to break the clinch but Turd is controlling him.
Delight stalls.
Delight lands a shoulder strike.
Turd misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Delight.
Turd looking to throw knees to the head but Delight is blocking nicely.
Delight wants to get back to striking at distance but Turd won't allow it.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.

Delight breaks the clinch.

Delight gets in close and instigates a clinch.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
Turd tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Delight avoids it.

And that's the end of the fight!
New Delight comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Delight has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Chris Saunders scores the fight 28:29
Judge Jeff Smith scores the fight 28:29
Judge Colin Fray scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... New Delight!
New Delight seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.