PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Brock Lesnar (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Lesnar has chosen Brock Lesnar Entrance as his entrance music. The key to victory for BitchFace PoopyPants has got to be keeping the fight on the feet.

PoopyPants
vs
Lesnar

197 cm
23
230 lbs
6 - 0 - 0

191 cm
19
265 lbs
4 - 0 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
Great elbows
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Brawler
Granite chin

$10

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 6 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, BitchFace PoopyPants!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 4 - 0 - 0, fighting out of London, Brock Lesnar !
The judges for this bout are Phil Schofield, Richard Clark and James Glass.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Lesnar gets cracked there but stands up to it.
PoopyPants stuffs the takedown attempt from Lesnar . Lesnar gets slowly back to his feet.
PoopyPants lands a nice shot that snaps Lesnar 's head back.
Lesnar moves forwards but PoopyPants connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Lesnar throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
This has been an exciting period of action!
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Lesnar .
Lesnar walks into a straight right hand from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants defends well against a solid takedown attempt from Lesnar .
BitchFace PoopyPants has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Brock Lesnar .
Lesnar dives in and grabs PoopyPants's left leg, looking for a takedown. PoopyPants pushes down on Lesnar 's head and hops out.
A jab from PoopyPants does it's job there.
PoopyPants connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Lesnar is trying desperately to land a takedown but PoopyPants is having absolutely none of it. This is turning into a bit of a nightmare for Lesnar .
PoopyPants throws a monster overhand right that drops Lesnar ! PoopyPants follows up with more strikes from mount and the fight is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:47 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). BitchFace PoopyPants!
BitchFace PoopyPants retains his heavyweight title!
In his post fight interview, BitchFace PoopyPants gave a big smile as he said 'That's one step closer to being the baddest man alive! If anyone out there wants a crack at either of my belts, the line starts around the corner, but you'd better bring a lunch! '.