PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Sugar Ray Myers (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Oring Smegma Iii (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Myers has a slight injury, which hopefully won't affect the fight too much. Sugar Ray Myers could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to Oring Smegma Iii's chin.

Ray Myers
vs
Smegma Iii

199 cm
21
214 lbs
0 - 6 - 0

200 cm
18
265 lbs
0 - 1 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Excellent boxer
Cuts easily

BJJ Blue Belt
Brawler
Very confident

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Sugar Ray Myers!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Oring Smegma Iii!
The judges for this bout are Damien Edna, Summer Carpenter and Bruno Hogan.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Myers leaves Smegma Iii with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
Smegma Iii tries for a takedown but Myers sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
Smegma Iii shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Myers pinned against the cage. Myers gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Sugar Ray Myers has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Oring Smegma Iii.
Smegma Iii shoots in but Myers avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Smegma Iii shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Myers is breathing heavily.

Myers is looking for a takedown here. He's shot in and has managed to get it, finishing up in Smegma Iii's half guard.
The referee must be thinking about standing these guys back up.
Smegma Iii pushes Myers off looking to stand but Myers dives back in and keeps control.

Smegma Iii kicks off Myers and gets to his feet.

Smegma Iii feints and as Myers raises his hands in defense, Smegma Iii changes levels and drives through with a takedown into guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Smegma Iii stands and throws Myers's legs to the side, diving into side control.

Smegma Iii has an Americana. Myers didn't react quickly enough there and he's in big trouble now! He tries to squirm out but is forced to tap! Smegma Iii is delighted and gyrates in front of the ring girls. They seem to like the attention - it'll be interesting to see if Smegma Iii hooks up with any of them at the after show party.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:24 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Americana). Oring Smegma Iii!
Oring Smegma Iii seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.