PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Tadas Menelaos (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Both these fighters are unbeaten, so somebody's 0 has got to go!These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Menelaos
vs
PoopyPants

182 cm
24
275 lbs
7 - 0 - 0

197 cm
23
232 lbs
5 - 0 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Very quick

BJJ Blue Belt
Great elbows
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 7 - 0 - 0, fighting out of London, Tadas Menelaos!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, BitchFace PoopyPants!
The judges for this bout are Steven Brown, Sam Margolis and Phil Schofield.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Menelaos ducks under a wild hook from PoopyPants.
Menelaos swings and misses with a hook to the body.
PoopyPants shoots in looking for a takedown. Menelaos tries to sprawl out of it but PoopyPants keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. Menelaos manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
Menelaos falls off balance throwing a combination
and PoopyPants counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Menelaos comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Good standup being displayed there by PoopyPants as he connects with a hook.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Menelaos misses with a straight right.
Menelaos throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
A slow jab from Menelaos misses its intended target.
PoopyPants takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Menelaos throws a series of punches but PoopyPants moves out of range.
PoopyPants fails with an attempt to clinch.
PoopyPants avoids a punch combination nicely.
PoopyPants tries to clinch but Menelaos moves out of range.
Menelaos fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
PoopyPants uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Menelaos.
Menelaos fakes high and swings low for a body shot but PoopyPants manages to avoid it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Menelaos throws a body punch but PoopyPants moves out of range.
A slow jab from Menelaos misses its intended target.
PoopyPants tries to close the distance and clinch but Menelaos swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.
Menelaos swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Menelaos throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Menelaos throws a body punch but PoopyPants moves out of range.
PoopyPants connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Menelaos momentarily.
Menelaos comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
PoopyPants ducks under a wild hook from Menelaos.
Menelaos tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but PoopyPants was well out of range. Poor timing from Menelaos.
Menelaos takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Menelaos is breathing heavily.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Menelaos throws a combination. PoopyPants tries to block but a couple of punches get through.
Menelaos throws a combination that misses
letting PoopyPants counter with a right hand.
PoopyPants tries to clinch there but Menelaos circles away.
Menelaos is really struggling to find his range with his punches. PoopyPants's reach advantage is clearly causing him problems.
PoopyPants swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Menelaos takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Menelaos defending well as PoopyPants loads up on a big left hand.
Menelaos takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
PoopyPants slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
PoopyPants throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Menelaos sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Tadas Menelaos seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
A looping hook to the body misses from Menelaos. PoopyPants does a little dance to reset his feet.

PoopyPants steps into range and cracks Menelaos with a monster punch that buckles his knees! Menelaos flops backwards and PoopyPants dives into his guard looking to finish!

Menelaos is rocked!
We must be close to a standup if these guys don't pick up the pace.
PoopyPants missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
PoopyPants trying to control the position from guard on top but Menelaos is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
PoopyPants is in a good position here but he's just trying to control... And he's not even managing to do that successfully.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants wants to pass the guard but Menelaos is keeping the position.
PoopyPants wants to control from the top but Menelaos keeps moving.

OK we're going to have a standup here. BitchFace PoopyPants hasn't been effective enough on the ground and the referee wants a restart.
The fight stays on the outside here - PoopyPants looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
PoopyPants has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
Menelaos ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
PoopyPants throws a jab when Menelaos was well out of range.
Menelaos misses with a straight right.
Menelaos throws a wild combination but nothing lands.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Menelaos misses with a wild combination.
PoopyPants is landing a lot of head punches in this opening round! Menelaos had better start moving his head a bit unless he wants his face to turn into pâté.
PoopyPants doesn't manage to clinch there - Menelaos circles away.
No joy there for Menelaos, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
PoopyPants throws a lazy right hand but Menelaos sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
PoopyPants scores with a big left there. The judges will like that one.
Menelaos keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from PoopyPants.
Menelaos throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Menelaos is looking to wear down PoopyPants with body shots, infact he's throwing more body shots than head shots at the moment.
Menelaos misses with a hook.
This has been an exciting period of action!
PoopyPants tries to clinch up but Menelaos circles away and keeps his distance.
PoopyPants doesn't manage to clinch there - Menelaos circles away.
Menelaos misses with a wild body shot.
Menelaos takes a swing at PoopyPants's ribcage but misses.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Menelaos swings widly with a right hand
and PoopyPants cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.

PoopyPants clinches with his opponent.
PoopyPants misses with an elbow strike.
PoopyPants throws an elbow but it's blocked.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

BitchFace PoopyPants dominated that round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Menelaos just misses with a punch to the body.
PoopyPants swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Menelaos tries to bum rush PoopyPants with a series of wild strikes but PoopyPants uses good footwork to avoid the assault.

PoopyPants takes the fight into the clinch.
The step up in weight doesn't seem to be a problem for PoopyPants. He's performing admirably here against the bigger man.
PoopyPants throws an elbow but it's blocked.
PoopyPants fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Menelaos blocking some punches.
PoopyPants blocks an uppercut.

Menelaos breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
Menelaos throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Menelaos takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Tadas Menelaos is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Nice uppercut lands for PoopyPants. That snapped Menelaos's head back.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
PoopyPants throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Menelaos fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Menelaos takes one on the chin but keeps coming.

Oooooh!!! Menelaos has knocked PoopyPants down with a huge combo! Menelaos steps away and waves a wobbly PoopyPants back to his feet! This one might not go much longer!

It looks like BitchFace PoopyPants has been cut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Menelaos drops his hands momentarily and PoopyPants takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
PoopyPants scores with a jab.

PoopyPants clinches up with Menelaos and pushes him back against the cage.
PoopyPants pushes off an throws an elbow but Menelaos leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
PoopyPants misses with the head strike.
Menelaos wants to break the clinch but can't.
PoopyPants throws a punch but it's blocked by Menelaos.
A head punch on the inside from Menelaos fails to land.
Menelaos takes an elbow to the temple.
PoopyPants stalling the fight.
PoopyPants doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Menelaos wants to get back to striking at distance but PoopyPants won't allow it.

Menelaos breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
PoopyPants lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
PoopyPants lands with a cross.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Menelaos ducks under a wild hook from PoopyPants.
Menelaos throws an ugly left hook that misses
letting PoopyPants counter with a right hand.
Menelaos thows a left - swing and a miss!
Menelaos misses with a looping right.
Menelaos will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Menelaos looks to land a right hand but PoopyPants moved out of range.
BitchFace PoopyPants seems to be getting the better of the standup.
A nice combination there by Menelaos.
PoopyPants dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
PoopyPants lands a nice shot that snaps Menelaos's head back.
PoopyPants connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Menelaos momentarily.
PoopyPants feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Menelaoss jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
PoopyPants fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Menelaos looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Menelaos ducks right into an uppercut from PoopyPants.
Oh Menelaos is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
PoopyPants wants to clinch.
Menelaos seems to have got his legs back now.
PoopyPants tries to close the distance and clinch but Menelaos swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

PoopyPants bobbing and weaving well here. And he's unloaded with a massive right hand that drops Menelaos! He dives into his guard looking to finish!
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as PoopyPants accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
PoopyPants missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
PoopyPants trying to control but Menelaos is working from the bottom.
PoopyPants stays in close to Menelaos's body and controls the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
PoopyPants showing good wrestling skills to control the position.

The ref stands the fighters back up. BitchFace PoopyPants was stalling too much, according to the referee.
Menelaos waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract PoopyPants.
PoopyPants bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Menelaos's head.
Menelaos scores with a one two! PoopyPants had his feet all tangled up there and couldn't avoid the strikes.
The fighters circling - PoopyPants throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
PoopyPants lands a jab.
Menelaos connects with a good right hand that stumbles PoopyPants. PoopyPants circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Menelaos lands a nice shot to the body.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

BitchFace PoopyPants showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on BitchFace PoopyPants's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Menelaos throws a lazy right hand but PoopyPants sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Menelaos misses with a looping left.
Menelaos misses with a double jab
and PoopyPants counters with a straight right hand.

PoopyPants has closed the distance and engaged Menelaos in a clinch.
PoopyPants keeps control of Menelaos as he tries to wriggle out of the double underhooks.
Menelaos dodges an elbow strike from PoopyPants.
Menelaos misses with a body punch.
PoopyPants lands an elbow inside that Menelaos shrugs off.
Menelaos blocks a punch to the side of the head.
PoopyPants lands a body shot in the clinch.
Menelaos wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
PoopyPants lands an elbow inside that Menelaos shrugs off.
PoopyPants has been the more effective fighter overall so far.

Menelaos's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Menelaos throws a right and a left that both miss.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
PoopyPants misses with a straight left.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Menelaos swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
PoopyPants misses with a body shot.
Menelaos will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
PoopyPants throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Menelaos stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.

PoopyPants closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
PoopyPants lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Menelaos avoids the elbow strike from PoopyPants, against the cage.
A short uppercut from PoopyPants.
Menelaos looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
A nice glancing elbow lands by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Menelaos is defending well for now.
A short right from PoopyPants.
Menelaos blocks the elbow strike.
PoopyPants throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Menelaos takes an elbow to the temple.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Menelaos is trying to force a seperation but PoopyPants has the dominant position.
PoopyPants looks to throw an elbow but misses.
PoopyPants misses with a hook to the ribs.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
PoopyPants creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Menelaos's defenses.
PoopyPants lands an elbow just above Menelaos 's eye.
PoopyPants working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Menelaos wants to break the clinch but can't.
PoopyPants takes a shot to the head.
PoopyPants lands an elbow that stopped Menelaos in his tracks for a moment.
PoopyPants lands an elbow just above Menelaos 's eye.
PoopyPants fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
PoopyPants gets through Menelaos's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Menelaos blocks a punch to the side of the head.
PoopyPants slowing the pace effectively.
PoopyPants lands an elbow just above Menelaos 's eye.
Menelaos blocks an elbow strike.
PoopyPants pushes off an throws an elbow but Menelaos leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.

Menelaos's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Menelaos throws a hook but PoopyPants blocks it.
Menelaos lands the left hand.
Menelaos keeps the fight on the outside.
Menelaos lands a straight punch to the body, keeping PoopyPants at a distance.
PoopyPants is using his reach advantage to land shots from outside his opponent's range.

PoopyPants gets in close and instigates a clinch.
Menelaos can't break the clinch.

Menelaos breaks the clinch and we return to the middle of the mat.
PoopyPants is looking to clinch.
PoopyPants bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Menelaos's head backwards.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
PoopyPants paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
PoopyPants loads up on a big right hand but Menelaos slips the punch.
Menelaos throws a lazy right hand but PoopyPants sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Menelaos throws a right and a left that PoopyPants avoids nicely.

PoopyPants drops his shoulder and cracks Menelaos with a huge uppercut! Menelaos goes down! Can PoopyPants finish him?
Menelaos utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Menelaos holds on and takes a little breather.
PoopyPants lands a couple of elbows.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
PoopyPants stands up over Menelaos, holding his feet. He dives back in and lands a decent shot to the head.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

BitchFace PoopyPants really dominated that round.
The cut man is working on BitchFace PoopyPants's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Menelaos tries to move into range but PoopyPants moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
PoopyPants throws a body punch but Menelaos moves out of range.
Menelaos jabs PoopyPants right on the nose. PoopyPants blinks but takes it well.
PoopyPants might want to mix his strikes up a bit more. He's just going for head shots at the moment and that can become a bit predictable.
PoopyPants just misses with a punch to the body.
PoopyPants moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Menelaos thows a body shot but no joy.
Menelaos takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
PoopyPants scores with a nice right hand.
PoopyPants thows a left - swing and a miss!
A punch combination from Menelaos misses.
Menelaos walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Menelaos throws a right and a left that PoopyPants avoids nicely.

PoopyPants closes the distance and clinches.
Menelaos blocks a couple of punches on the inside.

Menelaos manages to break the clinch.
Menelaos misses with a straight right.

That's one minute gone in the round.

PoopyPants forces Menelaos back against the cage and clinches.
Menelaos working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Menelaos avoids a wild elbow strike from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants looks to throw an elbow but misses.
PoopyPants lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Menelaos takes an elbow to the temple.
PoopyPants trying to stall but Menelaos improves his position.
PoopyPants creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
PoopyPants misses with a short punch on the inside.
PoopyPants pushes off an throws an elbow but Menelaos leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
PoopyPants creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Menelaos's defenses.

Menelaos breaks from the clinch.
Menelaos just misses with a punch to the body.

PoopyPants has Menelaos up against the cage in a clinch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants throws an elbow that misses.
A head punch on the inside from PoopyPants fails to land.
Menelaos blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Menelaos lands with a light punch inside.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
PoopyPants is trying to maintain a safe position but Menelaos gets an underhook and turns PoopyPants into the cage.
With the fighters up against the cage, PoopyPants throws an elbow but misses.
A head punch on the inside from Menelaos fails to land.
Menelaos dodges an elbow strike from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
Menelaos lands with a short shot to the head.
Menelaos misses with a short punch on the inside.
Menelaos is looking to break free of the clinch but PoopyPants has double underhooks.
PoopyPants misses with an elbow over the top.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants lands an elbow that stopped Menelaos in his tracks for a moment.
PoopyPants is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but Menelaos is keeping busy.
BitchFace PoopyPants seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
PoopyPants struggles to land a body shot inside as Menelaos controls his hands.
Menelaos avoiding damage as PoopyPants throws knees to the body.
PoopyPants lands with a short shot to the head.
Menelaos blocks an uppercut.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Menelaos.
PoopyPants working aggressively here.

Menelaos breaks from the clinch.
Menelaos takes one on the button.
PoopyPants avoids the body shot from Menelaos.
PoopyPants misses with a hook. Menelaos ducked under it nicely.
Menelaos misses with a left hand
and PoopyPants counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
PoopyPants misses with a straight right.
PoopyPants scores with a jab.
Menelaos scores with a three punch combo!
PoopyPants misses with an uppercut.
Menelaos takes a swing at PoopyPants's ribcage but misses.
PoopyPants fails to land with a series of punches.
Menelaos is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by PoopyPants.
Menelaos drops his hands momentarily and PoopyPants takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
PoopyPants looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.
Menelaos looks to land a left hand but PoopyPants moved out of range nicely.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Menelaos swinging wildly here.
PoopyPants tries to clinch up but Menelaos circles away and keeps his distance.
Menelaos avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

BitchFace PoopyPants dominated that fourth round.
The cut man is working on BitchFace PoopyPants's cut.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!

PoopyPants lands with a cross.
PoopyPants moves out of range of the strikes.
PoopyPants dodges the punch combination from Menelaos.
A lazy left from Menelaos finds it's target.
PoopyPants throws a hook but Menelaos avoids it easily.
PoopyPants tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. Menelaos manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
PoopyPants slips under a jab.
PoopyPants wings a very wild body shot but it does the job and lands to the midsection.
Menelaos ducks under a wild hook from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants connects with a nice looking jab.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Menelaos changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Menelaos displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as PoopyPants throws out the jab.
PoopyPants pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
PoopyPants connects with a body shot that sends Menelaos's belly button to the back.
Both of our modern day gladiators look out of it here - an gruelling 5 rounds of action taking it's toll on them, no doubt.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Menelaos gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Menelaos throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
PoopyPants uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Menelaos.
The fighters circle momentarily. PoopyPants darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Menelaos scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Menelaos swings widly with a right hand

and PoopyPants lands a stunning uppercut that sends Menelaos to the mat!
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Menelaos is staying active underneath PoopyPants, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Menelaos keeping hold of PoopyPants's head, controlling as best he can.

PoopyPants is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants trying to control the action but Menelaos is working from the bottom.
Tadas Menelaos has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

OK we're going to have a standup here. BitchFace PoopyPants hasn't been effective enough on the ground and the referee wants a restart.
Menelaos throws a lazy uppercut
and PoopyPants counters with a one-two to the body.
PoopyPants catches Menelaos with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
PoopyPants looks to score with a jab to the body but Menelaos is just out of range.
Menelaos fails to land with a series of punches.
PoopyPants shoots in looking for a double leg takedown. Menelaos defends it nicely.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Menelaos misses with a combination
and Menelaos takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Nice jab there from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants works Menelaos's body with a nice hook.
Menelaos misses with a jab to the body
and PoopyPants counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Menelaos connects with a jab.
Menelaos misses with a hook.
Menelaos digs a good body shot into PoopyPants's ribs.
Menelaos ducks under a wild hook from PoopyPants.

PoopyPants instigates a clinch.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.

Menelaos breaks the clinch.
Menelaos throws a hook but PoopyPants avoids it easily.
PoopyPants darts in trying to clinch
and Menelaos makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
BitchFace PoopyPants is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Menelaos thows a left - swing and a miss!
PoopyPants slips a jab from Menelaos.
Nice shot by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants tries to clinch up.
PoopyPants tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. Menelaos manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
PoopyPants tries to clinch up.
PoopyPants slips a jab from Menelaos.
A cross from PoopyPants lands.
PoopyPants throws a hook but Menelaos blocks it.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from PoopyPants.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Sloppy strikes from Menelaos. Those never looked like landing.
Menelaos throws a right and a left that both miss.
PoopyPants punishes Menelaos's body with a nice straight punch.

And that's the end of the fight!
BitchFace PoopyPants comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well PoopyPants has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Steven Brown scores the fight 45:50
Judge Sam Margolis scores the fight 45:50
Judge Phil Schofield scores the fight 45:50

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... BitchFace PoopyPants!
BitchFace PoopyPants is the new heavyweight champion!
BitchFace PoopyPants took to the mic in his post fight interview and said 'That's one step closer to being the baddest man alive! If anyone out there wants a crack at either of my belts, the line starts around the corner! '.