PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Frank Turd (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Diego Biamonte (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Turd
vs
Biamonte

194 cm
21
185 lbs
3 - 2 - 0

185 cm
22
195 lbs
7 - 6 - 1

Decent wrestler
Dangerous knees
Very quick

BJJ Purple Belt
Great elbows
Fast

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 2 - 0, fighting out of New York, Frank Turd!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 7 - 6 - 1, fighting out of New York, Diego Biamonte!
The judges for this bout are Eddie Farnsworth, Franklyn Lucas and Reed Andrews.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Biamonte gets in close and instigates a clinch.
Biamonte throws a knee to the head but misses.
Biamonte misses with an elbow strike.
Turd with the Thai clinch, lands a knee to the head.

It looks like Diego Biamonte has been cut.
Biamonte pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
Biamonte managing to block the knees to the body from Turd.
Turd avoids the elbow strike from Biamonte, against the cage.
Turd slowing the pace effectively.
Turd is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Biamonte is defending well for now.
Biamonte misses with an elbow over the top.
Biamonte gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Biamonte tries to land knees in the clinch but Turd avoids the damage to the body.
Turd landing knees to the head.
Turd misses with a knee to the head.
Biamonte throws an elbow that misses.
Biamonte on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Turd takes an elbow to the temple.

It looks like Frank Turd has been cut.
Turd lands a knee to the body.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Turd lands a knee to the body.
Turd lands a knee to the head.
Turd landing knees to the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Biamonte looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Turd lands a knee to the body.
Biamonte misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Turd.
Turd tries a knee to the head but Biamonte blocks it.
Biamonte gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Biamonte is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Turd is defending well for now.
Turd lands a knee to the head.
Biamonte takes a knee right on the jaw!
Turd looking to throw knees to the head but Biamonte is blocking nicely.
Turd blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Come on Turd - let's have some action - none of this stalling nonsense.
Turd trying to land knees to the body.
Turd crunches a lovely knee into Biamonte's ribcage.
Turd is stalling here. The referee will be looking to step in if he doesn't pick up the pace.
Turd throws a knee to the head but misses.
Turd effectively controlling the action here.
Turd on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Biamonte misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Turd.
Turd taking a break, stalling in the clinch.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Turd blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Biamonte misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Turd.
Turd stalling in the clinch.
Biamonte managing to block the knees to the body from Turd.
Turd missing with knees to the body.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Biamonte creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Turd is struggling to control the position.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by Frank Turd.
Biamonte throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Biamonte tries to bum rush Turd with a series of wild strikes but Turd uses good footwork to avoid the assault.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Biamonte throws a sloppy head kick
and Turd counters with a solid body kick.
Turd misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Turd looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Biamonte on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Diego Biamonte seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Turd misses with an attempted mid kick.
Biamonte fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Turd manages to avoid it.
Turd throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Biamonte looks to land a left hand but Turd moved out of range nicely.
Biamonte swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Turd.
Turd keeps the fight on the outside.
Turd looks to land a right hand but Biamonte moved out of range.
Turd tries a head kick but it misses.
Biamonte moves out of range of the body kick from Turd.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Biamonte throws a sloppy head kick and Turd moves out of range easily.
Biamonte wants to clinch but Turd slips to the side
and Turd counters with a body kick.
Turd throws a body kick that sends a sickening thudding noise reverberating around the arena.
Biamonte tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. Turd manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Turd throws a head kick that misses.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Turd misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Biamonte pulls out of a head kick attempt.

Biamonte moves into range and clinches up with Turd.
Biamonte with the Thai clinch, lands a knee to the head.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Biamonte.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Turd avoids the elbow strike from Biamonte, against the cage.
Turd putting his Muay Thai to good use. He has Biamonte in a tight clinch and is doing some damage with knees to the body.
Turd dodges an elbow strike from Biamonte.
Turd is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Biamonte is defending well for now.
Biamonte looks to throw an elbow but misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Frank Turd dominated that round.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Biamonte blocks a head kick by Turd.
Turd throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Biamonte scores with a spinning back kick!
Turd throws a looping overhand right but Biamonte ducks down to avoid it.
Biamonte moves out of range as Turd throws a body kick.
Turd throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Biamonte defending well as Turd loads up on a big left hand.
Biamonte tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Turd was well out of range. Poor timing from Biamonte.
Biamonte looks to score with a jab to the body but Turd is just out of range.
Turd misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Biamonte swings and misses with a hook to the body.

Biamonte instigates a clinch.
Biamonte with an attempt at a knee that misses.
A knee to the head by Turd.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Biamonte takes a knee right on the jaw!
Biamonte comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Biamonte just misses with a elbow thrown towards Turd's brow.
Turd lands a knee to the head there! That was nasty!
Turd with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors.
Biamonte misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Turd.
Biamonte misses with a knee strike.
Biamonte pushes off an throws an elbow but Turd leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Turd looking to stall.
Turd with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.

Turd escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Turd swats away the attempt to clinch by Biamonte.
Turd checks a low kick from Biamonte.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Turd lands a front kick.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
The fight stays on the outside here - Biamonte looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Biamonte misses with an attempted mid kick.
Biamonte displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Turd throws out the jab.
A decent looking body kick lands there for Biamonte.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Biamonte lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Turd has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Turd and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Turd misses with a wild body shot.

Biamonte has managed to clinch.
Turd trying to land knees to the body.
Turd throws a knee to the head but misses.
Turd looking to throw knees to the head but Biamonte is blocking nicely.
Biamonte tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Turd avoids it.
Biamonte tries to land a knee to the head but misses.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Biamonte missing with knees to the body.
Turd is pushing Biamonte up against the cage, for a bit of lean and pray action. Action being used the in the loosest possible sense of the word.
Biamonte tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Turd avoids it.
Biamonte misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Turd.
Turd blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Biamonte trying to land knees to the body.
Turd dodges an elbow strike from Biamonte.
Biamonte is struggling to control the position.
Turd using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Biamonte has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Turd blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
The pace slowing considerably in the clinch, as Turd takes a break from that fighting nonsense to think about the finer things in life.
Turd blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Turd stalling in the clinch but Biamonte improves position.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but Biamonte blocks with his arms.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Turd throws a knee to the head but misses.
Turd misses with a knee to the head.
Turd misses with a knee to the head.
Knees in the clinch landing for Turd.
Turd tries a knee to the head but Biamonte blocks it.
Turd takes an elbow to the forehead.
Turd avoids the elbow strike from Biamonte, against the cage.
Turd unloads a knee to the mid-section.
Biamonte is breathing heavily.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Biamonte lands an elbow inside.
Turd tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Biamonte avoids it.
Turd content to slow the pace in the clinch.
Turd is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Biamonte is defending well for now.
Turd blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Biamonte is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Turd is defending well for now.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.

Turd's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Turd lands with a kick to the ribs.
Turd circles away from the clinch attempt.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Frank Turd dominated that second round.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! So, we enter the final round. Let's see if either fighter can bring us a finish, or whether we're going to the judges scorecards.

Turd throws a sloppy head kick and Biamonte moves out of range easily.
Biamonte wants to clinch up but Turd keeps it at a distance.
Turd misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Biamonte avoids the head kick by Turd.
Biamonte tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
A slapping leg kick lands for Turd.
Turd throws the kick towards the body but Biamonte avoids it.
Turd feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Biamonte's calf.
Turd throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Frank Turd is winning the standup battle so far.
Turd delivers a nice body kick.
Biamonte moves away from the strike by Turd.
Nice defenses there by Turd.
Biamonte has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Turd.

Biamonte has closed the distance and engaged Turd in a clinch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Biamonte tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Turd with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Turd throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Biamonte blocks it with crossed arms.
Biamonte tries to stall but Turd uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Turd tries a knee to the head but Biamonte blocks it.
Turd blocks an elbow strike from Biamonte.
Turd looking to throw knees to the head but Biamonte is blocking nicely.
Turd tries to land knees in the clinch but Biamonte avoids the damage to the body.
Frank Turd has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but Biamonte blocks with his arms.
Turd avoiding damage.
Biamonte missing with knees to the body.
Turd managing to block the knees to the body from Biamonte.
Turd misses with a knee to the head.
Turd blocks the elbow strike.
Turd trying to stall but Biamonte improves his position.
Turd slows down the pace here.
Diego Biamonte has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but Biamonte blocks with his arms.
Turd avoids the elbow strike from Biamonte, against the cage.
Turd throws a knee to the head but misses.
Biamonte missing with knees to the body.
Turd managing to block the knees to the body from Biamonte.
Turd tries a knee to the head but Biamonte blocks it.
Turd lands a knee to the head there! That was nasty!
Turd avoids the elbow strike from Biamonte, against the cage.
Biamonte is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Turd is defending well for now.
Turd misses with a knee to the head.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Turd wants to stall.
Turd landing knees to the head.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Biamonte on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Turd tries a knee to the head but he's missed.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kneeeeees! The crowd are calling for knees to the body. Turd obliges.
Turd avoiding damage as Biamonte throws knees to the body.
Turd with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Turd is looking to break free of the clinch but Biamonte has double underhooks.
Turd tries to land a knee to the head but misses.
Turd on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Turd is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Biamonte is defending well for now.
Turd unloads a knee to the mid-section.
Biamonte throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Turd blocks it with crossed arms.
Biamonte misses with an elbow over the top.
Biamonte tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Turd is looking to control Biamonte's arms but Biamonte gets an underhook and turns him. Now Turd has his back to the cage.
With the two fighters working up against the cage, Biamonte just misses with a elbow thrown towards Turd's brow.
Turd dodges an elbow strike from Biamonte.
With the fighters up against the cage, Biamonte throws an elbow but misses.
Turd using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Biamonte has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Turd lands a knee to the head.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Turd misses with a knee strike.
Biamonte creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Turd's defenses.
Biamonte creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Turd utilising his Muay Thai to score with a knee to the body.
Turd with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Turd content to slow the pace in the clinch.
Biamonte lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Turd is trying to maintain a safe position but Biamonte gets an underhook and turns Turd into the cage.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Biamonte.
Turd tries a knee to the head but Biamonte blocks it.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Turd managing to block the knees to the body from Biamonte.
Biamonte misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Turd.
Turd trying to stall but Biamonte improves his position.
Frank Turd is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Biamonte creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Turd's defenses.

And that's the end of the fight!
Frank Turd showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Turd has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Eddie Farnsworth scores the fight 30:27
Judge Franklyn Lucas scores the fight 30:27
Judge Reed Andrews scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Frank Turd!
As Frank Turd got his breath back, he grabbed the microphone and managed to blurt out the following: Frank Turd grabs the microphone and screams "HEY YALL I JUST TURDED ALL OVER HIS FACE!" He drops the microphone as the crowd goes wild.'.