PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Carrot Top (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and kimbo slice (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Top comes to the cage accompanied by My Life Sucks. I look Like Chucky on Steroids. Kill Me. Carrot Top could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to kimbo slice's chin.

Top
vs
slice

187 cm
22
250 lbs
1 - 2 - 0

225 cm
18
265 lbs
0 - 5 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Solid Muay Thai
Granite chin

BJJ Blue Belt
Brawler
Likes ground

MARY JANE's Medicinals! New High Quality Shipment!
MARY JANE's Medicinals! New High Quality Shipment!

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Carrot Top!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 5 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, kimbo slice!
The judges for this bout are , Jack Bonds and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Top swings for the body but slice moves out of range.
slice looks to land a combination but Top avoids it well.

Top clinches up against the cage.
Top misses with an elbow strike.
Top looking to throw knees to the head but slice is blocking nicely.
slice is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Top lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
Top has slice pressed against the cage.
Knees to the body from Top.
slice blocks an elbow strike.
Top misses with an elbow over the top.
Top lands an elbow that stopped slice in his tracks for a moment.
The pace slowing considerably in the clinch, as Top takes a break from that fighting nonsense to think about the finer things in life.
slice is looking to break free of the clinch but Top has double underhooks.
Top misses with a knee to the head.
Top using the Thai plumb to throw knees but slice has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
slice on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Top trying to land knees to the body.
Top landing knees to the body. They look like they could hurt.
Top lands a nice elbow.
Top with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Top prevents a takedown attempt there.
Top comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.

That's one minute gone in the round.
slice tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. Top smiles and moves away.
slice wants to clinch up but Top keeps it at a distance.
Top could do with loosing a few pounds - he looks very soft around the mid section, to put it politely.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Top.
Top scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. slice doesn't seem bothered though.

Top moves into the clinch.
slice avoids the elbow strike from Top, against the cage.
slice has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. Top is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet.
Carrot Top has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of kimbo slice.
slice avoids the elbow strike from Top, against the cage.
Top manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
Top tries to land knees in the clinch but slice avoids the damage to the body.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Top.
slice drops down looking for an ankle pick but Top pulls his leg out and moves away.

Top has taken the fight to the clinch.
Top gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Top lands an elbow inside that slice shrugs off.
slice tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. Top smiles and moves away.

Top rushes slice and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Top throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but slice blocks it with crossed arms.
slice is looking for a takedown up against the cage. Top gets underhooks though and prevents the takedown attempt.
Top has slice pushed against the cage.
Top landing some nice looking knees to the body.
Top lands an elbow just above slice 's eye.
slice takes an elbow to the forehead.
Top using the Thai clinch to land knees to the body.
slice looks gassed!
Top lands an elbow inside that slice shrugs off.
Top with an attempt at a knee that misses.
Top lands a damaging elbow.
Nice elbow from Top.
slice has Top pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Top manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.
Top gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Top unloads a knee to the mid-section. slice lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Top lands an elbow inside that slice shrugs off.
Top with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Top tries a knee to the head but slice blocks it.
slice blocks an elbow strike from Top.
Top lands a nice elbow.
Top gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Top tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Top tries to land knees in the clinch but slice avoids the damage to the body.
Top lands a damaging elbow.
slice takes an elbow to the forehead.
With the fighters up against the cage, Top throws an elbow but misses.
slice tries to pull guard but Top holds him up against the cage and eventually slice drops back down to his feet.
Top misses with an elbow strike.
Top manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
slice wants to stall.
Top unloads a knee to the mid-section. slice lets out a prehistoric sounding urrrrgh.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
Top gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
slice takes an elbow to the forehead.
Top tries to land knees in the clinch but slice avoids the damage to the body.
Top gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Top gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Top lands an elbow that stopped slice in his tracks for a moment.

slice breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Top closes the distance but slice moves to the side
and slice counters with a nice body shot.
Carrot Top is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

Top takes the fight into the clinch.
Top lands a damaging elbow.
Knees in the clinch landing for Top.
Top lands a nice elbow.
Nice elbow from Top.
Top stalling in the clinch.
Top lands an elbow inside that slice shrugs off.
Top lands an elbow that stopped slice in his tracks for a moment.
slice managing to block the knees to the body from Top.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Carrot Top dominated that round.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

slice tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Top paws at him with a jab and circles away.
slice closes the distance looking to clinch
and Top connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.

Top clinches with his opponent.
A short left from slice.
Top's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.
Top lands an elbow inside that slice shrugs off.
Top missing with knees to the body.
Top lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Top throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Top missing with knees to the body.
slice on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
slice on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
slice lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
slice takes an elbow to the forehead.
slice on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Top lands an elbow inside.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Top lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
slice looking to stall.
slice has hold of a leg and is looking for a trip takedown. Top avoids it nicely though and we remain in the clinch.
slice is breathing heavily.
Top crunches a lovely knee into slice's ribcage.
Top tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Knees to the body from Top.
slice takes an elbow to the temple.
Top lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Top stalling here - the referee won't stand for too much of that.
Top with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
slice tries to pull guard but Top holds him up against the cage and eventually slice drops back down to his feet.
Top lands a nice elbow.
slice takes a knee right on the jaw!
Top comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
Top comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
slice is trying to maintain a safe position but Top gets an underhook and turns slice into the cage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
slice takes an elbow to the temple.
slice takes an elbow to the forehead.
slice takes an elbow to the forehead.
Top gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Top lands an elbow just above slice 's eye.
Knees to the body from Top.
Top lands an elbow inside that slice shrugs off.
Top lands an elbow that stopped slice in his tracks for a moment.
Top lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
Nice elbow from Top.
Top lands an elbow inside.
slice is looking to control Top's arms but Top gets an underhook and turns him. Now slice has his back to the cage.
Top gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Top lands an elbow inside.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
slice managing to block the knees to the body from Top.
slice on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
slice wants to get back to striking at distance but Top won't allow it.
Top stops a takedown attempt from slice.
Carrot Top has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of kimbo slice.
Top on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
slice avoiding damage as Top throws knees to the body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
slice tries to pull guard but Top holds him up against the cage and eventually slice drops back down to his feet.
slice on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
slice tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Top's elbow.
slice blocks an elbow strike.
Top looking to stall.
Top throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Top misses with an elbow over the top.
Top tries to land knees in the clinch but slice avoids the damage to the body.
Top misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from slice.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Top.

slice has dropped down and is working for a takedown. Top is trying to keep an underhook but slice manages to get the takedown into half guard.
slice is looking to stall here but Top recovers full guard.

slice drops back looking for a leg! Top is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and Top manages to kick slice off! slice jumps back into Top's guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Top trying to control the position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Carrot Top dominated that second round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

slice shoots for a takedown but Top saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
Carrot Top is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
slice wants to clinch but Top slips to the side
and Top counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
Top tries to close the distance and clinch but slice swats him to one side with an open hand palm strike and circles away.

Top takes the fight into the clinch.
slice on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Top lands a nice knee to the body.
Carrot Top has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Top lands an elbow that stopped slice in his tracks for a moment.
Top lands an elbow inside.
slice on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Top lands an elbow inside.
Top lands an elbow that stopped slice in his tracks for a moment.
slice tries for a takedown. No joy.
slice can't find room to land a body shot as Top controls the action.
slice blocks an elbow strike.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Top.
Top throws an elbow that misses.
Top gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Top throws an elbow but it misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Top gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Top looking to stall.
slice blocks the elbow strike.
slice avoids the elbow strike from Top, against the cage.
Top tries a knee to the head but slice blocks it.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
slice wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Top gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
slice tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Top just stands there and leans against the cage.
Carrot Top has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of kimbo slice.
Top creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
Top tries to land knees in the clinch but slice avoids the damage to the body.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Top.
slice avoiding damage as Top throws knees to the body.
slice blocks the elbow strike.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Top.
slice wants to stall.
Top pushes off an throws an elbow but slice leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
The referee calls for Top to work.
slice dodges an elbow strike from Top.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Top using the Thai plumb to throw knees but slice has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
slice tries to break the clinch but Top is controlling the position.
Top stalling.
Top lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
slice is trying to work out of this bad position, with his back against the cage.
Top lands a nice elbow.
Top gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Top throws an elbow but it misses.
slice blocks an elbow strike from Top.
slice wants a takedown but no success here.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
slice avoids the elbow strike from Top, against the cage.
Top throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
Top creates a bit of distance and throws an elbow that only just misses.
slice changes levels and goes for a takedown here. Top fights it off and pushes away nicely.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Top.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Top rushes slice and presses him up against the cage.
Top using the Thai clinch to land knees to the body.
Top misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from slice.
slice takes an elbow to the forehead.
Top lands an elbow just above slice 's eye.
Top lands an elbow that stopped slice in his tracks for a moment.
slice blocks the elbow strike.
Top lands an elbow that stopped slice in his tracks for a moment.
Top taking a break, stalling in the clinch.
Knees to the body from Top.
slice misses with a knee strike.
Top lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
slice wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
slice blocks the elbow strike.
slice has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. Top is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet.
slice tries to stall but Top uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Top tries to land knees in the clinch but slice avoids the damage to the body.
Top with an attempt at a knee that misses.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Top throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
slice on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Top throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Top prevents the takedown attempt.
slice looking to stall.
slice is working for a takedown up against the cage. He can't get it on this occasion though.
Both guys are working to get underhooks.
slice blocks an elbow strike.
slice blocks the elbow strike.
A quick uppercut on the inside from slice.
slice wants a takedown.
Top is pressed up against the cage. slice has hold of a leg and is looking to drag Top down to the mat. Top avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance.
Top pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
slice takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?

Top pushes slice up against the cage in a clinch.
slice tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
slice tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
kimbo slice has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
slice wants to break free. God knows he wants to breaaaak freeee.
slice with a knee to the head.

And that's the end of the fight!
Carrot Top showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Top, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Percy O'Donnell scores the fight 30:27
Judge Jack Bonds scores the fight 30:27
Judge Suge Night scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Carrot Top!