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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a featherweight MMA rules bout between Johnny Quid (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Homer Simpson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Homer Simpson was going to win. Let's see if he was right.
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| 173 cm
32
154 lbs
27 - 12 - 0 |
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170 cm
33
156 lbs
27 - 13 - 0 |
Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible |
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Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the featherweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of
27 - 12 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Johnny Quid!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of
27 - 13 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Homer Simpson !
The judges for this bout are Trevor Gratis, Alec Ball and Elvis Blanc.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Quid jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Quid chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Simpson can pounce on him.
Simpson misses with the body kick
and Quid cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Simpson scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Simpson dodges the punch combination from Quid.
Quid misses the jab.
Quid stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Simpson .
A jab from Simpson misses.
Simpson takes a swing at Quid's ribcage but misses.
Simpson throws a head kick but Quid moves out of range.
Simpson throws a body punch but Quid moves out of range.
Simpson ducks low and lands a nice hook to the body of his opponent.
Good exchange - Quid coming out on top.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Simpson takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Nice defenses there by Simpson .
Simpson throws a hook to the side of Quid's head but Quid sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Simpson misses with a straight right.
Simpson misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Quid.
Quid moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Quid works over Simpson 's head and body with a nice combination.
Simpson misses with a looping left.
Quid connects with a single shot there.
An inside leg kick from Quid misses.
Simpson ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Simpson throws a wild body kick that Quid sees coming a mile off.
Simpson just misses with a punch to the body.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Quid moves out of range as Simpson throws a body kick.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Simpson lands a leg kick that knocks Quid off balance momentarily.
Quid misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Quid lands with a nice body punch.
Simpson ducks under a wild hook from Quid.
Simpson throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Quid scores with the left hand. Simpson knows he should have avoided that one.
Quid throws out a powerful jab.
Quid defending well as Simpson loads up on a big left hand.
Quid scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.
Quid misses with a few strikes there.
Quid takes a shot right to the bread basket.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simpson throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Quid sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Quid misses with an uppercut.
Simpson will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Simpson missing with a left hand there. Quid was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Quid tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Simpson was well out of range. Poor timing from Quid.
Quid misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
A swing and a miss from Quid.
Simpson throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Quid moves out of range of the body kick.
Simpson misses with a body shot.
Quid throws a jab when Simpson was well out of range.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Quid.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Quid takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Quid throws a right hand that Simpson ducks under and follows up with a left that Simpson also avoids with ease.
Quid is looking to chop away at Simpson 's legs.
Nice uppercut there from Quid.
Simpson lands with a good body shot.
Quid misses with a leg kick
and Simpson counters with a leg kick.
Simpson shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Quid checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Simpson scores with a hook.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Simpson throws a hook to the side of Quid's head but Quid sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Simpson throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Quid sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Quid misses with a jab, cross combination.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
That was a close round but I would say that Johnny Quid will probably get the nod.
That's time! Quid's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.
Quid misses with a body shot.
Quid has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Simpson .
Simpson connects with the punch.
Simpson defending well as Quid loads up on a big left hand.
Quid has his head slapped from side to side by a 3 punch combination. That must have hurt him.
It looks like Johnny Quid has been cut.
Quid fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
Quid misses with a hook.
A looping hook to the body misses from Quid. Simpson does a little dance to reset his feet.
Simpson swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Quid motions for Simpson to come forward. Quid throws a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Quid uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Simpson .
Simpson steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Quid.
Simpson displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Quid throws out the jab.
That's one minute gone in the round.
A clash of legs there as Simpson blocks the low kick.
Simpson throws a decent looking leg kick but it doesn't land clean.
Simpson scores with a nice strike.
Simpson moves out of range as Quid strikes.
Quid clobbers Simpson with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Simpson misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Simpson uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Quid.
Jab from Simpson .
Simpson 's jab looks to have found its range, popping Quid under the eye.
Simpson displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Quid throws out the jab.
Quid throws the left hand but Simpson avoids the punch easily.
Quid throws a hook but Simpson blocks it.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Quid throws the left hand but Simpson avoids the punch easily.
Quid checks a leg kick nicely.
Simpson throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Simpson takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A solid leg kick lands there for Simpson .
A punch lands to the side of Simpson 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Simpson misses the shot to the body.
Quid moves out of range as Simpson strikes.
Simpson catches Quid with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
A chopping leg kick lands by Simpson .
Simpson lands a jab, followed by a cross and another cross, as Quid backs up against the cage.
Simpson misses with a looping right.
Johnny Quid is winning the standup battle so far.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Quid gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Simpson .
Simpson looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Quid throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Simpson sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Simpson avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
A cross from Simpson lands.
Simpson keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Quid.
Some wild striking there from Simpson .
Quid is hobbling a little on that front leg after taking quite a few leg kicks so far in this fight.
Quid throws the left hand but Simpson avoids the punch easily.
Simpson lands a nice hook to Quid's body. Quid takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
Simpson moves out of range as Quid throws a body kick.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Simpson misses with a jab, cross combination.
Donk. Simpson catches Quid right on the button with a cross.
Quid looks to throw the jab but Simpson is out of range.
Simpson lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
Simpson lands a head shot.
Quid throws a head kick that misses.
Simpson takes a head kick and shrugs it off.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Simpson throws a jab to the body, straight down the pipe. Boom. That sent Quid stumbling backwards but he manages to regain his composure quickly.
Quid throws a low kick but Simpson avoids it.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Quid slips under a jab from Simpson .
Simpson throws a lazy right hand but Quid sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Quid lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Simpson has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Simpson and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.
Homer Simpson showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Johnny Quid's cut.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! This is the final round!
Simpson lands with a shot to the body.
Quid misses with a straight left.
Simpson slips under a jab from Quid.
Quid looks to land a left hand but Simpson moved out of range nicely.
Quid takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Simpson misses with a kick to the body.
Simpson lands a really nice looking cross but Quid seems unphased.
Quid takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
Quid ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Quid throws a shot from downtown. Simpson moves away and avoids it.
A lazy left from Quid finds it's target.
Quid takes a swing at Simpson 's ribcage but misses.
That's one minute gone in the round.
Quid moves out of range as Simpson throws a body kick.
Nice body punch from Simpson .
Simpson misses with a kick to the body.
Quid takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Simpson comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Simpson with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Simpson misses with a head kick.
That's a knee to de groin and it's over and out! Quid crumples to the ground after an illegal strike from Simpson - the referee stops the clock and Quid gets 5 minutes to recover from that one. "I'm sorry" says Simpson . Quid manages to get back to his feet and the fight resumes.
Simpson cracks Quid with a right hand to the side of the head.
Simpson gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Simpson works Quid's body with a nice hook.
Simpson checks a leg kick nicely.
That's two minutes gone in the round.
Simpson scoring well with a low kick there.
Simpson fakes a head shot and lands one to the body.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Simpson misses with a body kick.
Quid lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
Nice jab there from Quid.
Simpson goes for a high kick. It partially lands.
Quid misses with a hook.
Good standup being displayed there by Quid as he connects with a hook.
Quid throws a low kick but it's checked well by Simpson .
Simpson bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Quid pulls out of a head kick attempt.
That's three minutes gone in the round.
Quid avoids a kick to the body.
Quid is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Simpson .
Quid swings for the body but Simpson moves out of range.
Quid moves into range and connects with a jab.
Quid scoring well with a low kick there.
Simpson throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Quid throws an off balance right hand
and Simpson counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Simpson avoids the body shot from Quid.
Quid slips a jab and a cross from Simpson .
Quid takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Simpson throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
That's four minutes gone in the round.
Quid gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
Simpson fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Quid throws a wild body kick that Simpson sees coming a mile off.
Good leg kick by Simpson there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Simpson missing with a left hand there. Quid was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Quid throws a body punch but Simpson moves out of range.
Quid feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Simpson 's calf.
Simpson throws a jab when Quid was well out of range.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Quid tries to clinch up but Simpson circles away and keeps his distance.
Simpson lands with a kick to the ribs.
Quid avoids the body shot from Simpson .
And that's the end of the fight!
Homer Simpson comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Simpson has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.
Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Trevor Gratis scores the fight 28:29
Judge Alec Ball scores the fight 28:29
Judge Elvis Blanc scores the fight 28:29
In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Homer Simpson !
A victorious Homer Simpson thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.
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| S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
68% |
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