PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between BitchFace PoopyPants (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Mike Kicko (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Mike Kicko has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

PoopyPants
vs
Kicko

197 cm
22
222 lbs
3 - 0 - 0

186 cm
26
218 lbs
3 - 0 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Solid boxing
Insanely flexible

BJJ Blue Belt
Counter striker
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the light heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, BitchFace PoopyPants!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of London, Mike Kicko!
The judges for this bout are Paul Tew, James Ackerman and Phil Schofield.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
PoopyPants misses with a straight right.
PoopyPants misses with a right hand
and Kicko counters with a stiff right hand.
BitchFace PoopyPants seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Kicko looks to land a left hand but PoopyPants moved out of range nicely.
Nice straight punches there by PoopyPants. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of PoopyPants.

It looks like Mike Kicko has been cut.
Kicko ducks under a wild hook from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
PoopyPants throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Kicko sees it coming and avoids it easily.
PoopyPants takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Kicko misses with a takedown attempt - PoopyPants sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
Kicko misses with a looping right.
PoopyPants cracks a nice hook into Kicko's ribs.
PoopyPants misses with a body shot.
Kicko uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from PoopyPants.
Kicko moves away from the strike by PoopyPants.
PoopyPants misses with an uppercut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kicko keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
PoopyPants looks to land a right hand but Kicko moved out of range.
Kicko closes the distance but PoopyPants moves to the side
and PoopyPants counters with a lovely straight right hand!
PoopyPants scores with a punch to the head.
Kicko throws a lazy right hand but PoopyPants sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
PoopyPants lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.
BitchFace PoopyPants is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Kicko looks to land a left hand but PoopyPants moved out of range nicely.
This has been an exciting period of action!
PoopyPants throws a looping overhand right but Kicko ducks down to avoid it.
PoopyPants tries to move into range but Kicko moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
PoopyPants thows a body shot but no joy.
PoopyPants avoids the body shot from Kicko.
PoopyPants thows a left - swing and a miss!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants tests Kicko's chin there with a solid looking shot.

That has opened up Mike Kicko's cut even more.
A jab from Kicko misses.
PoopyPants misses with an uppercut

and Kicko counters with a takedown into side control.
We could do with one of the fighters taking the initiative a bit more on the ground - they're both waiting to capitalize on a mistake.
What's PoopyPants going to do here then? He's in a bit of a pickle.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
PoopyPants struggling a bit here.
Kicko tries to cartwheel into mount but he doesn't manage it.
PoopyPants is looking to reverse the position.
Kicko trying to control the position but PoopyPants is working away.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants struggling a bit here.
PoopyPants tries to improve position but can't.
PoopyPants is trying to control Kicko's posture but Kicko avoids it.
Kicko moves into full mount!

Kicko wants to finish this one by submission but PoopyPants is holding onto his waist, trying to prevent any attacks from Kicko.
PoopyPants keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants has worked his way to half guard, taking advantage of Kicko's lack of action.

Kicko is trying for a guillotine from the top but the pressure isn't in the right place so PoopyPants is just riding it out for now. Kicko eventually gives up the hold.

Kicko is working for an americana but PoopyPants has been sneaky and has managed to get back to half guard, whilst Kicko was thinking about the submission.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Kicko accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

BitchFace PoopyPants dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Mike Kicko's cut.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Kicko takes a swing at PoopyPants's ribcage but misses.
BitchFace PoopyPants is winning the standup battle so far.
PoopyPants misses with an uppercut.
Sloppy strikes from Kicko. Those never looked like landing.
PoopyPants waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Kicko.
Kicko throws a right and a left that both miss.
Kicko walks straight into a jab right on the nose. That one stung - he's blinking and trying to clear his head.
Kicko ducks under a wild hook from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants cracks Kicko with a good jab.
PoopyPants displays good takedown defense there as he swats away a double leg from Kicko.
PoopyPants is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Kicko just misses with a punch to the body.
Kicko drops his hands momentarily and PoopyPants takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
PoopyPants slips a jab and a cross from Kicko.
PoopyPants listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kicko uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants misses with an uppercut
and Kicko counters with a straight right hand.
Kicko shoots in looking for a double leg takedown. PoopyPants defends it nicely.

Kicko manages to get an easy takedown there - catching PoopyPants on his heels. He'll look to pass PoopyPants's guard now, I'm sure.
PoopyPants looking for a sweep. Not yet PoopyPants, not yet.
PoopyPants wants to hit a switch here but Kicko passes into full mount! Oh no, disaster for PoopyPants there!
PoopyPants is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.
PoopyPants is desperately trying to get back to half guard.
PoopyPants tries to hold on but Kicko pushes him away.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants is in all sorts of trouble here.

Kicko working for a guillotine from mount but PoopyPants is in no mood to give up.
PoopyPants is squirming around, avoiding Kicko's attempts to control the action.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
PoopyPants is desperately trying to improve his position but Kicko has a good base and remains in mount.
PoopyPants tries to hold on but Kicko pushes him away.
PoopyPants is trying to get to the cage to help him get back to his feet.
PoopyPants working to try and regain half guard.
Kicko is looking to work his way around to PoopyPants's back. He needs to be careful though, as he's in danger of losing this dominant position.
PoopyPants is looking to get to half guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kicko tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.
Kicko with some aggressive grappling here, looking for the finish.
PoopyPants is wriggling around trying to escape.
PoopyPants is squirming around, avoiding Kicko's attempts to control the action.
Kicko with a couple of short strikes.

Kicko goes for an armbar but PoopyPants turns quickly into his guard - lovely anticipation from PoopyPants.
PoopyPants forces his way into half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
PoopyPants trying to control the pace.
PoopyPants wants to pass the guard but Kicko is defending well.
Kicko wants to get back to his feet.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Kicko gets full guard.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Kicko keeping moving, preventing PoopyPants from controlling successfully.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that BitchFace PoopyPants will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Mike Kicko's cut.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

PoopyPants connects with a looping left hand that seems like it dazed Kicko momentarily.
The fighters circling - Kicko throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Kicko misses with a wild combination.
PoopyPants lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Kicko at a distance.
PoopyPants clobbers Kicko with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Kicko scores with a nice looking left hook and follows it up with an uppercut!
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Kicko moves out of range of the strikes.
PoopyPants throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
A looping hook to the body misses from PoopyPants. Kicko does a little dance to reset his feet.
PoopyPants uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.
PoopyPants fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Kicko takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
PoopyPants staying out of range there.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A big left from PoopyPants misses.
Kicko staying out of range there.
Kicko shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as PoopyPants sprawls well. PoopyPants wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Kicko gets slowly back to his feet.
PoopyPants waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Kicko.
Kicko takes a jab right on the kisser.

The cut above Mike Kicko's eye is starting to cause him problems now.
This fight brought to you by 5M nutrition - it's mmmmm tasty. Nice jab by PoopyPants.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Kicko looks to land a left hand but PoopyPants moved out of range nicely.
PoopyPants lands a vicious shot with the stealth of a sniper and the strength of a viper. Are vipers that strong? I can think of lots of things that are stronger than a viper - not many rhyme with sniper though.

Mike Kicko's cut is absolute horrible now. This looks like something out of a horror film with blood covering both fighters.
PoopyPants just misses with a punch to the body.
PoopyPants drops Kicko with a straight left! Oh this is bad for Kicko! PoopyPants dives in and starts dropping bombs - the referee has no choice but to step in and save him!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:55 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). BitchFace PoopyPants!
BitchFace PoopyPants retains his light heavyweight title!