PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between James Kirk (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Omgnnonononon Lolololololol (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). This should be fireworks!

Kirk
vs
Lolololololol

190 cm
32
280 lbs
5 - 3 - 1

193 cm
25
275 lbs
5 - 0 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Excellent MT
Granite chin

Good wrestler
Counter striker
Enjoys gardening

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 5 - 3 - 1, fighting out of New York, James Kirk!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 5 - 0 - 0, fighting out of London, Omgnnonononon Lolololololol!
The judges for this bout are Jonathan Paton, Dean Styles and John Kavanagh.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Kirk is looking to slow Lolololololol down with leg kicks.
Lolololololol showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Kirk.
Kirk throws a right and a left that Lolololololol avoids nicely.
Kirk tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Kirk misses the shot to the body.
Kirk misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Lolololololol has a takedown stuffed.
James Kirk seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Kirk throws the kick towards the body but Lolololololol avoids it.
Kirk swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lolololololol fails with a takedown attempt.
Lolololololol has a takedown stuffed.
James Kirk has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Omgnnonononon Lolololololol.
Kirk cracks Lolololololol with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Kirk throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Lolololololol.
Kirk pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Lolololololol has a takedown stuffed.
Kirk misses with a head kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Kirk.
Kirk throws a looping overhand right but Lolololololol ducks down to avoid it.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Kirk lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Lolololololol has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Lolololololol and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Kirk tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.

Lolololololol fakes a strike and closes the distance, dragging Kirk to the ground. Lolololololol is now in Kirk's guard.
Kirk wants to stand but Lolololololol is controlling the position.
Lolololololol stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Kirk swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Lolololololol throwing strikes from guard but Kirk blocks nicely.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Kirk keeping moving, preventing Lolololololol from controlling successfully.
Kirk controls Lolololololol momentarily but Lolololololol frees himself.
Lolololololol trying to control but Kirk is working from the bottom.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Lolololololol landing some decent shots from guard.
Lolololololol won't allow Kirk to sweep him here.
Kirk pulls Lolololololol in to control the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Lolololololol in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Kirk keeping moving, preventing Lolololololol from controlling successfully.

Well, the referee has seen enough. Neither fighter is active enough on the ground so he's stood them back up.
Kirk pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Lolololololol checks a low kick from Kirk.
Kirk throws a wild combination but nothing lands.

Lolololololol looking to score a takedown here. Kirk is defending well but Lolololololol drives through and ends up in Kirk's guard.
Kirk is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Lolololololol's corner is telling him to maintain position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that James Kirk will probably get the nod.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Kirk misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Kirk throws a low kick but Lolololololol moves out of range easily.
Kirk throws a low kick but Lolololololol avoids it.
Kirk throws a right and a left that Lolololololol avoids nicely.
Kirk keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
Kirk misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Lolololololol shoots in but Kirk avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Lolololololol shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
James Kirk has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Omgnnonononon Lolololololol.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kirk throws a head kick but Lolololololol moves out of range.
Kirk throws a chopping leg kick but Lolololololol manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Some wild striking there from Kirk.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Lolololololol checks a leg kick.
Lolololololol blocks a low kick nicely.
Kirk throws a body punch but Lolololololol moves out of range.
Kirk pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Kirk tries to work over Lolololololol's front leg with a kick but Lolololololol checks it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lolololololol has a nice red mark on his side after a thudding body kick by Kirk.
Lolololololol keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Kirk.
Kirk pulls out of a head kick attempt.

Lolololololol fakes an overhand right and shoots for a takedown. Kirk sprawls well initially but Lolololololol persists and gets the takedown into half guard.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Lolololololol prevents Kirk from improving his position.
Lolololololol slows the pace down in half guard.
Kirk tries to roll over but Lolololololol keeps him under control.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Lolololololol controlling the action here.
Lolololololol thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Kirk's head.
Kirk is staying active underneath Lolololololol, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
We may be looking at a referee standup if the pace doesn't pick up soon.
Lolololololol missing with some ground and pound from the half guard.
Lolololololol prevents Kirk from standing back up.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Lolololololol thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Kirk's head.
Lolololololol throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
Lolololololol is looking to take a break and control but Kirk is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Lolololololol looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.
Lolololololol throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Lolololololol wants to take a breather but Kirk is having none of it.
Kirk is trying to get back to full guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that James Kirk will probably get the nod.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. The crowd applaud as we get ready to start the final round!

Kirk throws a head kick but Lolololololol moves out of range.
Lolololololol shoots in for a double leg but Kirk sprawls well. That's going to sap some energy.
A head kick misses from Kirk.

Lolololololol manages to get an easy takedown there - catching Kirk on his heels. He'll look to pass Kirk's guard now, I'm sure.
Lolololololol scores with a decent looking elbow strike.
Lolololololol working in close now, lands a nice elbow to the side of Kirk's head.
Kirk working a defensive guard but Lolololololol passes into half guard.
Kirk keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound.
Kirk blocking the ground and pound attempt from Lolololololol.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Kirk is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Lolololololol not throwing his punches with enough precision this time.
Kirk is refusing to be controlled, as Lolololololol sits in half guard.
Kirk won't allow Lolololololol to pass to mount.
Lolololololol working some ground and pound from close in. He's looking to maintain this position and strike for a while by the looks of things... although he'll probably advance to full mount in a minute now I've said that.
Lolololololol is keen to just control but Kirk is a slippery customer.
Kirk trying to control from the bottom.
Lolololololol working Kirk over with strikes.
Kirk trying to control from the bottom.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Kirk is refusing to be controlled, as Lolololololol sits in half guard.
Lolololololol sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Kirk defending well though.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Lolololololol sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Kirk defending well though.
Kirk wants to get back to his feet.
Lolololololol throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Kirk is trying to stand.
Lolololololol is trying to control. Kirk wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
Lolololololol has the superior BJJ but he's also working some ground strikes into his gameplan.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Lolololololol lands with an elbow from half guard - that looked like it hurt.
Lolololololol throws a strike but Kirk avoids it easily and moves to full guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Lolololololol passes easily into side control. Nice work.
Lolololololol working the body and head with strikes.
Lolololololol working the head and body with strikes.
Lolololololol lands a few punches from side control.
Lolololololol controlling the position.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Kirk tries to bench press Lolololololol off him but Lolololololol keeps the position.
Lolololololol just content to control the position.
Lolololololol trying to control the position but Kirk is working away.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Kirk dodges the ground and pound from Lolololololol.

And that's the end of the fight!
Omgnnonononon Lolololololol comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Kirk has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Jonathan Paton scores the fight 29:28
Judge Dean Styles scores the fight 29:28
Judge John Kavanagh scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... James Kirk!
An out of breath James Kirk thanked his loyal fans in his post fight interview, giving them credit for his success over the course of his career.