PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Hugh Hefner (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Samurai Jack (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Hefner comes into the arena with Puff The Magic Dragon blaring out of the sound system. This should be a great matchup!

Hefner
vs
Jack

175 cm
28
153 lbs
12 - 7 - 1

170 cm
25
156 lbs
10 - 5 - 1

Abu Dhabi Champ
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 7 - 1, fighting out of St Petersburg, Hugh Hefner!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 5 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Samurai Jack!
The judges for this bout are Fedor Mirinova, Valeri Chadov and Igor Prikhodko.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Jack misses with a leg kick.
Jack tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Jack throws a sloppy head kick and Hefner moves out of range easily.
Jack tries a head kick but it misses.
Jack throws a sloppy head kick and Hefner moves out of range easily.
Jack throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Hefner sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Jack lands with a nice low kick. That'll leave a bruise.
A head kick from Jack lands but Hefner takes it in his stride.
Jack throws a sloppy head kick and Hefner moves out of range easily.
Hefner scores with a kick to the midsection.
Hefner avoids the head kick by Jack.
Jack throws a nice inside leg kick.
Jack avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Hefner ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Jack throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
A slow jab from Jack misses its intended target.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Hefner connects with an inside leg kick.
Jack misses with a head kick.
Hefner takes a swing at Jack's ribcage but misses.
Hefner's hands are dropping dangerously low here and Jack connects clean with a right hook that sends him down to one knee! Hefner scrambles back to his feet.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jack throws a leg kick but Hefner sees it coming and moves out of range.
Samurai Jack seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Jack throws a series of punches but Hefner moves out of range.
Jack throws a sloppy head kick and Hefner moves out of range easily.

Jack closes the distance and clinches.
Hefner is looking to take this one to the mat.
Hefner looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Jack misses with a knee strike.

Hefner gets a nice trip takedown into half guard.
Jack is trying to stand up here but Hefner is controlling him well.
Hefner throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
Nice strikes from Hefner there.
Hefner seems to be taking a bit of a break to think of his next move. He lands a short punch in the meantime.
Jack tries to kick Hefner off but Hefner keeps his base steady and stays in half guard.
Jack tries to get to full guard but Hefner has control of the leg.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.

Hefner is trying to work for a kimura but Jack is defending well.

Hefner is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Hefner throwing punches and elbows but they're not doing any damage.

Hefner is looking for a kimura here.
Hefner seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Jack does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
Hefner works his foot free and advances to mount.
Hefner is landing with some decent strikes but Jack is trying to advance his position so the referee is letting the fight continue.

It looks like Samurai Jack has been cut.
Jack working to try and regain half guard.
You get the feeling that Jack really doesn't like being in this position too much.
Hefner lands a heavy elbow.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Hefner goes for an armbar but he's not got it… Jack turns into him and now he's in Hefner's guard.
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Hefner keeping moving, preventing Jack from controlling successfully.
Hefner is trying to stand up but he's not managed so far.
Jack trying to control the position from guard on top but Hefner is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Jack is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
Jack has decided he wants to stand but the closed guard of Hefner is proving hard to escape from.
Hefner has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.

Samurai Jack has forced the referee to step in and restart the fight on the feet.
Jack scores with a hook to the body. Hefner takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
A leg kick checked by Jack.
Samurai Jack is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Jack has closed the distance and engaged Hefner in a clinch.
Hefner goes for a takedown in the clinch but Jack prevents it.
A short right from Jack on the inside.
A knee to the head by Jack.

It looks like Hugh Hefner has been cut.
A nice right hand lands inside from Jack.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Jack presses Hefner against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
Jack swings wildly with an uppercut but Hefner uses good head movement to avoid it.
Jack with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.

Jack manages to break the clinch.
Jack takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Jack takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Jack lands a right hook to the body.
Jack throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Jack throws a head kick that misses.
Jack takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Jack connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Hefner misses with an uppercut. Jack saw that one coming.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Hugh Hefner will probably get the nod.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Jack pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Jack misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Hefner looks to land a combination but Jack avoids it well.
Hefner lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Hefner fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
Hefner misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Jack.
Hefner avoids the head kick by Jack.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Jack lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Hefner has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Hefner and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Jack ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Hefner misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Jack.
Jack tries a head kick but it misses.
Hefner takes a kick to the side of the head.
Jack throws the left hand but Hefner avoids the punch easily.
Hefner lands with a right hand.
Hefner connects with a crisp jab.
A bone on bone clash there as Hefner blocks the leg kick.
Hefner plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!

That's one minute gone in the round.

Jack drives through and clinches with Hefner against the cage.
Jack lands a left hand that snaps the head of Hefner backwards.
Jack using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Hefner has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.
Hefner lands an elbow just above Jack 's eye.

That has opened up Samurai Jack's cut even more.
Jack looking to throw knees to the head but Hefner is blocking nicely.
Jack takes a shot to the head.
Hefner fails to pull guard.

Hefner pulls guard effortlessly.

Hefner has butterfly guard. He's looking to stand up here. He pushes Jack off him and springs to his feet nicely. The crowd applauds.
Nice shot lands for Hefner.
Jack sizes up Hefner with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Jack throws a low kick but Hefner avoids it.
Jack throws a head kick that misses
and Hefner counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Hefner misses with a looping left.
Hefner ducks under a wild hook from Jack.
Jack fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Hefner manages to avoid it.

Jack tries to sprawl but Hefner drives through with a takedown into half guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jack has hold of Hefner's hands but Hefner slips his arm to the side and lands an elbow.
Hefner sitting and controlling from the half guard.

Hefner is working for a submission of some sort.
Jack blocking the ground and pound attempt from Hefner.
Jack wants to get back to full guard.
Jack avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Hefner.

Hefner is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.

Hefner is working for a kimura but Jack is defending it quite comfortably.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Hefner trying to advance position but Jack counters by regaining guard.
Hefner looking to pass the guard.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Jack working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Hefner.
Hefner preventing the sweep.
Jack wants to stand up but Hefner is controlling him.
Jack is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Hefner passes into half guard.
Jack is staying active underneath Hefner, who seems content to just control the action from this position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Hefner wants to work for an arm triangle but Jack is really keeping half guard well and defending the submission attempt.
Hefner prevents Jack from standing back up.
Hefner working over Jack with some ground and pound. Jack looks like he wants out of this position, which is understandable.
Hugh Hefner overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.

Hefner is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and Jack defends it well.
Hefner thows a huge punch but Jack dodges it nicely.
Hefner sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Jack defending well though.

Hefner is looking for a kimura but Jack is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Hefner to get the leverage.
Hefner prevents Jack from improving his position.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Jack is not content to let Hefner control the position.
Hefner looks to score some points with some ground and pound.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Hugh Hefner dominated that second round.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!

Hefner throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Hefner lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Hefner lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Jack at a distance.
Hefner blocks a head kick by Jack.
Jack on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Hugh Hefner is winning the standup battle so far.
Hefner misses the shot to the body.
Hefner shoots in looking for a takedown but Jack manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Hefner's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
Hefner avoids the head kick by Jack.
Hefner misses the jab.
Jack scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Jack feints and then cracks Hefner's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Hefner down.
Hefner blocks a head kick by Jack.
Jack wants to slow Hefner down by chopping away at his legs.
Good leg kick by Jack there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Jack takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Jack takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Hefner fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Jack checks it well.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A decent looking cross lands there for Hefner.
Hefner moves out of range of the strikes.
Hefner swings away with a leg kick that misses.
Jack slips a jab from Hefner.
Hefner takes a swing at Jack's ribcage but misses.
Hefner takes a swing at Jack's ribcage but misses.
Hefner connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Hefner tries to move into range but Jack moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
A telegraphed right hand from Hefner misses the target.
A leg kick checked by Jack.
Jack throws a head kick but Hefner moves out of range.
Jack misses with a head kick.
Jack fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Hefner looks to score with a jab to the body but Jack is just out of range.
Jack throws a chopping leg kick but Hefner manages to avoid taking any serious damage.
Jack ducks under a wild hook from Hefner.
Hugh Hefner is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Hefner misses with an uppercut. Jack saw that one coming.
Jack throws a good cross that connects.
Hefner tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Jack was well out of range. Poor timing from Hefner.
A good leg kick by Jack.
Some wild striking there from Jack.
Jack loads up on a big right hand but Hefner slips the punch.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Jack ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Hefner moves away.
Jack takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Jack shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Jack misses with a wild body shot.
Hefner lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Jack misses with a low kick.
Hefner looks for a takedown but Jack sprawls well.
Hefner stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A slow jab from Hefner misses its intended target.
Hefner connects with a nice looking jab.
Hefner is looking to clinch.
A cross from Hefner lands.
Jack throws a hook to the side of Hefner's head but Hefner sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Jack misses with a low kick.
Hefner throws a hook but Jack avoids it easily.
Hefner ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Jack moves away.
Hefner has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Jack.
Jack lands with a slapping head kick.

Hefner throws the overhand right but ducks down into a quick takedown attempt. Jack was covering up waiting for the punch and Hefner finishes the takedown easily into guard.
Jack being controlled here, momentarily.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
This has been an exciting period of action!

Hugh Hefner has forced the referee to step in and bring the fight back to the feet.
Hefner feints and then cracks Jack's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Jack down.
Hefner fakes a jab and then connects with a hook.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Hefner blocks a head kick by Jack.
Jack throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
A swing and a miss from Hefner.
Samurai Jack has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Jack misses with a looping left.

And that's the end of the fight!
Hugh Hefner showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Hefner, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Fedor Mirinova scores the fight 30:28
Judge Valeri Chadov scores the fight 30:27
Judge Igor Prikhodko scores the fight 30:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Hugh Hefner!