PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Gargantua Pantagruel (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Teijo Tarzan (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Pantagruel comes to the cage accompanied by THE MONSTER MASH! With the funniest video!. These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Pantagruel
vs
Tarzan

225 cm
26
300 lbs
8 - 2 - 0

185 cm
27
300 lbs
13 - 7 - 0

Good wrestling
Solid boxing
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Black Hand Fight Gear & Laundry
Charlie Wang's Nutrition and 95 % Laundry

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Gargantua Pantagruel!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 7 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Teijo Tarzan!
The judges for this bout are Don Winkell, Jack Bonds and Timothy Bukovac.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
No luck with that takedown attempt from Pantagruel.
Tarzan swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Pantagruel throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Pantagruel has a takedown stuffed.
Tarzan avoids the body shot from Pantagruel.

Pantagruel shoots in and bounces Tarzan off the cage to secure the takedown into guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
We may be looking at a referee standup if the pace doesn't pick up soon.
Tarzan keeping moving, preventing Pantagruel from controlling successfully.

Tarzan kicks Pantagruel off and gets to his feet.
Pantagruel tries for a takedown but Tarzan sees it coming a mile off and avoids it easily.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Gargantua Pantagruel. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Pantagruel fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Gargantua Pantagruel seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A jab from Pantagruel does it's job there.
Teijo Tarzan is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Pantagruel shoots in but no luck this time.
Pantagruel has his takedown stuffed
and Tarzan counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.

It looks like Gargantua Pantagruel has been cut.
Pantagruel blocks a jab.
Pantagruel lands with an uppercut that bounces Tarzan off the cage and back into range.
Pantagruel throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Pantagruel shoots in and drives through. Tarzan sprawls well.
Pantagruel shoots in but doesn't get the takedown
and Tarzan counters with a left to the body.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Pantagruel shoots in but Tarzan avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Pantagruel shoots in looking for a takedown but Tarzan manages to keep the fight standing, pushing Pantagruel's face into the canvas for good measure before circling away.
Tarzan swings widly with a right hand
and Pantagruel counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Nice defenses there by Tarzan.
Pantagruel throws an overhand right that lands on Tarzan's shoulder, as Tarzan tries to avoid the shot.
Pantagruel jabs at Tarzan's body.
Pantagruel swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Tarzan thows a body shot but no joy.
Tarzan looks to land a left hand but Pantagruel moved out of range nicely.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Tarzan falls off balance throwing a combination
and Pantagruel counters with a straight right hand.
Tarzan throws a series of punches but Pantagruel avoids them all with ease.
Tarzan throws a looping overhand right but Pantagruel ducks down to avoid it.
Pantagruel paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Pantagruel shoots in for a takedown but Tarzan shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
Pantagruel uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Tarzan.
No luck for Pantagruel with that takedown attempt.
Pantagruel slips under a jab.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Pantagruel changes levels and drives through with a really nice takedown into side control. Tarzan looks really pissed at himself for not defending that better.
Tarzan wants to get back to his feet.
Pantagruel in side control, trying to ground and pound but not landing this time.

Pantagruel looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything.

Pantagruel is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, Tarzan has escaped the position, nice work there.
Pantagruel wants to control but Tarzan is keeping him busy.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Tarzan is trying to buck Pantagruel off.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.

Pantagruel tries for a kimura but Tarzan is defending well.
Pantagruel trying to control the action but Tarzan is working from the bottom.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Gargantua Pantagruel will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Gargantua Pantagruel's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Pantagruel swinging wildly here.

Pantagruel closes the distance and clinches up, looking for a takedown. He shifts his weight and gets a nice trip into half guard.
Pantagruel performing his best blanket impression for a moment.

Tarzan is defending against the submission attempts here by Pantagruel.

Pantagruel looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.
Pantagruel trying to mount his opponent but Tarzan defends it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Tarzan tries to kick Pantagruel off but Pantagruel keeps his base steady and stays in half guard.

Pantagruel is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Tarzan sees it coming and defends easily.
Pantagruel stops Tarzan from getting back to his feet.
Pantagruel seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Tarzan does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
Pantagruel takes advantage of the dominant position to land a couple of big hammer fists.
Pantagruel is pressing down on Tarzan's thigh, looking to free his foot. Tarzan is holding on for now.
Pantagruel prevents Tarzan from standing back up.

Pantagruel is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.

Tarzan kicks Pantagruel off and gets back to his feet.
Tarzan is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Tarzan misses with a hook.
Pantagruel misses with a takedown
and Tarzan makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
No luck for Pantagruel with that takedown attempt.
Pantagruel misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Gargantua Pantagruel. That's going to take a lot out of him.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A big left from Tarzan misses.
Pantagruel displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Tarzan throws out the jab.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Pantagruel.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Pantagruel.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Tarzan keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Pantagruel.
Tarzan misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Pantagruel drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Tarzan leaves Pantagruel with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.
Teijo Tarzan is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Pantagruel misses with a takedown attempt

and Tarzan counters with a lead uppercut that lands right on the button! Pantagruel goes down! Will Pantagruel beat the count? 3,4,5 - he's up! No problem. Let's get back to the action!
This has been an exciting period of action!
Pantagruel walks into a picture perfect straight right hand from Tarzan! He's gone down face first to the canvas, unconscious before he even hit the floor! Ohhhh. My. Goodness! That boys and girls was a beautiful knockout! Give that man a biscuit!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:50 of round 2, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Teijo Tarzan!
After winning the bout, Teijo Tarzan thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.