PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Butt Piracy (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Snow Crash (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Piracy kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is I Like Big Butts. These two fighters really are very evenly matched on the feet - it will be fascinating to see who can assert themselves in that aspect of the fight.

Piracy
vs
Crash

210 cm
26
300 lbs
9 - 2 - 0

205 cm
27
299 lbs
13 - 3 - 0

Good wrestling
Great elbows
Granite chin

Olympic wrestler
Decent boxing
Heavy handed

Charlie Wang's Nutrition and 95 % Laundry

Charlie Wang's Nutrition and 95 % Laundry
Charlie Wang's Tattered Rags & 95% Laundry

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Butt Piracy!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Snow Crash!
The judges for this bout are Jack Bonds, Frank Antenori and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Piracy is looking to clinch.
Piracy fails in his attempt to clinch.
Crash moves into range and throws a combination. A nice jab followed by a hook to the body.

It looks like Butt Piracy has been cut.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A telegraphed right hand from Piracy misses the target.

Crash shoots in and scores a nice double leg takedown into half guard.
If this pace continues, the referee will definitely step in and force a standup.
Piracy looks like he's trying to stand up.
Piracy on the receiving end of some nice ground and pound.
Crash works his foot free and advances to mount.
Piracy taking shots to the head.
Piracy's corner are shouting for him to stand up but that's bad cornering - how is he meant to stand up when he's mounted? He should be looking to improve his position on the ground before trying to stand back up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Crash raining down shots from the mount!

Butt Piracy's cut is getting worse.
Piracy wants to get back to his feet.
Crash scoring with strikes but Piracy is staying in there.

Butt Piracy's cut is bleeding quite badly. He's got to try and protect it.

The referee calls the doctor in to look at Butt Piracy's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:43 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Snow Crash! Snow Crash retains his super heavyweight title!
A relieved looking Snow Crash thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.