PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a lightweight MMA rules bout between Turd Fergisson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Sisi Taille (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Fergisson comes into the arena with Legion of Doom blaring out of the sound system. Sisi Taille has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Turd Fergisson's chin.

Fergisson
vs
Taille

150 cm
27
162 lbs
7 - 1 - 0

180 cm
24
160 lbs
3 - 4 - 0

Powerful takedowns
Basic striking
Very quick

BJJ Purple Belt
Brawler
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the lightweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 7 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Turd Fergisson!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Sisi Taille!
The judges for this bout are Don Winkell, Jack Bonds and Timothy Bukovac.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Taille is looking to clinch.
Taille will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Fergisson avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Fergisson has a takedown stuffed.
Fergisson throws a right hand that Taille ducks under and follows up with a left that Taille also avoids with ease.
Fergisson shoots in for a takedown but Taille shows good takedown defense.
Fergisson fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Turd Fergisson. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Fergisson lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Taille circles away quickly and effectively.
Fergisson misses with a looping left.

Fergisson gets a double leg takedown into Taille's guard.
If this pace continues, the referee will definitely step in and force a standup.
Fergisson wants to pass the guard but Taille is keeping the position.
Taille is looking to get back to his feet but can't, whilst Fergisson is controlling him.

Fergisson is holding a leg here, probably looking for an ankle lock - he drops back and goes for it! Taille is in trouble! Is it all over??? No! Taille has escaped and now he's on top!
Fergisson has a closed guard, preventing Taille from standing up.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Taille got a little sloppy there for a moment and Fergisson has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Taille has managed to get both his arms back between Fergisson's legs - danger averted.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Taille has decided he wants to stand but the closed guard of Fergisson is proving hard to escape from.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Fergisson throws a couple of weedy looking strikes off his back.
Taille has decided he wants to stand but the closed guard of Fergisson is proving hard to escape from.
Taille being controlled here momentarily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fergisson trying to control the position.

Well, the referee has seen enough. Neither fighter is active enough on the ground so he's stood them back up.

Fergisson gets a double leg takedown into Taille's guard.
Fergisson might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Fergisson loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Fergisson trying to control but Taille is working from the bottom.
Fergisson trying to land body shots but he keeps hitting the mat.

Fergisson is trying to work a guillotine from the top, or something like that? Don't know how he thinks he's going to get a finish from there.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Taille preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
Fergisson stops Taille from standing up.
Fergisson stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Taille swivels though and keeps the full guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fergisson prevents Taille from getting back to his feet.
Fergisson wants to control from the top but Taille keeps moving.
Fergisson stops Taille from standing up.

Fergisson is trying to work a guillotine from the top, or something like that? Don't know how he thinks he's going to get a finish from there.
Fergisson keeps in close for a moment and lands a decent shot to the side of Taille's head.
Fergisson won't allow Taille to get back to his feet.

Fergisson drops back for a leg but he's not going to get it - he lets go and Taille dives on top into guard.

Fergisson has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Taille can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Fergisson is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
This has been an exciting period of action!

Taille avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Taille is looking to stand up but Fergisson won't let him.

Fergisson has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Taille can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Taille would like to get this fight back to the feet but can't get free from the closed guard.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.

Taille avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Turd Fergisson dominated that round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Fergisson tried to score with a low kick but Taille checks it.
Taille misses with a jab, cross combination.
Fergisson fails miserably with a takedown attempt.
Taille connects with a jab.

Fergisson feints and then dives in with a takedown. That was a long way out but the feint bought him enough time to close the distance and complete the takedown. Now we'll play guard for a bit and see who can get the better of that position.
Fergisson working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Fergisson trying to control but Taille is working from the bottom.
Fergisson postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Both fighters really going for it on the ground here!
Fergisson scoring with punches to the head and body.
Taille is looking to get back to his feet but can't, whilst Fergisson is controlling him.
Fergisson postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Taille wants to stand but Fergisson is controlling the position.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Fergisson is pushing down on Taille's leg trying to pass to half guard. Taille is fighting to maintain full guard but Fergisson has managed to sneak the leg through.

Fergisson is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and Taille defends it well.

Fergisson looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.
Taille is looking to get back to is feet but Fergisson passes into side control.
Taille is pushing Fergisson's head away, looking to escape. Fergisson manages to hold on to the position though.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Taille is using up a lot of energy trying to get back to his feet. Perhaps he should improve his position first.
Taille is breathing heavily.

Fergisson is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, Taille has escaped the position, nice work there.
Fergisson trying to control the action but Taille is working from the bottom.

Fergisson stands up and beckons Taille to his feet.
Turd Fergisson is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Taille jabs Fergisson to the body, keeping him at a distance.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Taille rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Fergisson moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Fergisson really is built like a bowling ball. I wonder if he'd roll if you pushed him down a hill...

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A slow jab from Taille misses its intended target.
Taille throws a body punch but Fergisson moves out of range.
Fergisson fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
Sisi Taille is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Taille lands with a slapping head kick.
Fergisson shoots for a takedown but Taille saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Turd Fergisson. That's going to take a lot out of him.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Fergisson.

Fergisson throws a loose over hand right and dives in with a double leg takedown. Taille tries to sprawl but it's too late and the fighters hit the mat. Fergisson is in Taille's guard.
Fergisson throws a big right hand that misses.
Fergisson stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Taille swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Taille wants to stand and escape but Fergisson is having none of it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fergisson postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Fergisson passes Taille's left leg - he's now in half guard.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Taille is staying active underneath Fergisson, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Fergisson is looking to advance position but Taille won't allow it.
Fergisson has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Still in half guard, Fergisson seems content to control.
Fergisson trying to control the action but Taille is working from the bottom.
Taille is trying to stand.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Fergisson sitting and controlling from the half guard.

The ref stands the fighters back up because Turd Fergisson just wasn't active enough.
Taille tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Turd Fergisson dominated that second round.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. And we move into the final round!

Fergisson shoots in for a takedown and gets it.
Fergisson sitting in half guard, looking to land shots. Taille defending well though.
Fergisson lands a big shot. The thud that echoes around the arena is like music to the fans' ears.

Taille kicks off Fergisson and gets to his feet.
Fergisson throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Taille's waist but Taille gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Fergisson off to one side.
Taille swings for the body but Fergisson moves out of range.
Fergisson shoots in looking for a takedown. Taille tries to sprawl out of it but Fergisson keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. Taille manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
A combination from Taille does no damage.
Taille takes a swing at Fergisson's ribcage but misses.
Taille will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Taille tries to clinch up.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Taille swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.

Fergisson decides to change it up a bit and drives through with a nice takedown into half guard.
Fergisson is figuring out what he wants to do next.
Fergisson prevents Taille from standing back up.
Taille takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Fergisson seems to be taking a bit of a break to think of his next move. He lands a short punch in the meantime.
Taille avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Fergisson.

Fergisson is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Taille doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time Fergisson.

Fergisson is working for a submission of some sort.

Taille kicks Fergisson off and gets back to his feet.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fergisson throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!

Taille tries to sprawl but Fergisson drives through with a takedown into half guard.

Fergisson is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Taille has managed to free his arm - good work.
Taille is trying to stand.

Fergisson maintaining the dominant position here and is working for a kimura. He's locked it up! Taille could be in real trouble here! He's trying to wriggle out but Fergisson has cracked it and Taille is screaming in pain - he's tapped out! Great finish by Fergisson!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:58 of round 3, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). Turd Fergisson!
Turd Fergisson seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.