PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Vladimir Zhirinovsky (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Besik Shamba (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Zhirinovsky comes into the arena with Zhirinovsky and Serega - Murka blaring out of the sound system. Besik Shamba has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Vladimir Zhirinovsky's chin.

Zhirinovsky
vs
Shamba

180 cm
24
218 lbs
9 - 8 - 0

182 cm
30
219 lbs
7 - 5 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

BJJ Blue Belt
Lethal high kicks
Granite chin

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 8 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Vladimir Zhirinovsky!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 7 - 5 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Besik Shamba!
The judges for this bout are Dmitry Maklakov, Konstantin Menshow and Valeri Chadov.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Excellent takedown into side control there by Zhirinovsky.
Zhirinovsky lands a knee to the body and a forearm to the face.

Zhirinovsky looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything.
Zhirinovsky grinds an elbow into Shamba's temple.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Zhirinovsky advances to full mount.
Zhirinovsky with good strikes from the mount here!
Zhirinovsky has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Zhirinovsky postures up and cracks his opponent a couple of times before moving back into close ground control. Shamba looks a forlorn figure.
Zhirinovsky with shots to the head and body - Shamba looks very uncomfortable down there.

Zhirinovsky has control of Shamba's right arm, working for a kimura. It's a bit of a token attempt though and Shamba regains control of the situation pretty easily.
Shamba slips a leg in and gets back to half guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Shamba is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Zhirinovsky pulls his head out easily.
Zhirinovsky looks towards his corner to check for any instructions. The corner give him nothing to work with, so he cracks Shamba with a short hammerfist. I guess that's as good as any advice he could get in this position.
Zhirinovsky is figuring out what he wants to do next.
Zhirinovsky scoring with strikes to the body and head.
Shamba is not content to let Zhirinovsky control the position.
The two fighters exchange a few words. I couldn't hear what they were saying but maybe it's more fun if you make it up yourself. Zhirinovsky connects with a nice short shot to Shamba's temple.
Ground and pound from Zhirinovsky.
Zhirinovsky lands a big shot. The thud that echoes around the arena is like music to the fans' ears.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Zhirinovsky with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.
Zhirinovsky passes to full mount!
Shamba taking shots to the head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky dominating with strikes here.
Zhirinovsky controlling his opponent.
Shamba is squirming around, avoiding Zhirinovsky's attempts to control the action.
Shamba is in all sorts of trouble here.
Zhirinovsky looking to finish Shamba with some ground and pound. This is bad for Shamba!
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Shamba is bucking up trying to escape but Zhirinovsky cracks him with another couple of good strikes.
Shamba is trying to escape the mount.
Zhirinovsky looking to control and managing it successfully.
Zhirinovsky lands a heavy elbow.
Shamba is in all sorts of trouble here.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky has his opponent pinned against the cage, landing some nasty ground and pound that is really making a bit of a mess out of Shamba's face.
Shamba is in a horrible position here. Zhirinovsky smacks him with another shot as he tries to escape the position.
Shamba in a bad spot here, taking shots to the head.
Zhirinovsky controlling from the full mount.

Zhirinovsky working for a guillotine from mount but Shamba is in no mood to give up.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Zhirinovsky breaks from Shamba's wrist control and lands an elbow.
Zhirinovsky connects with a couple of good shots from mount.

It looks like Besik Shamba has been cut.
Zhirinovsky landing shots from mount.
Zhirinovsky prevents Shamba from getting the reversal.
Zhirinovsky in mount throwing good strikes here, bouncing his opponent's head off the canvas.
Zhirinovsky putting on the heat here with some good ground and pound!

The cut above Besik Shamba's eye is starting to cause him problems now.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Zhirinovsky raining down hammerfists from mount.

Besik Shamba's cut is absolute horrible now. This looks like something out of a horror film with blood covering both fighters.

The referee calls the doctor in to look at Besik Shamba's cut. Oh no, the doctor has called an end to the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:24 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Cut). Vladimir Zhirinovsky!
After winning the bout, Vladimir Zhirinovsky thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.