PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Mr Jobber (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Kiwi Bird (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Bird has a pretty significant injury - he really shouldn't be fighting right now but he's a warrior and he's here none the less! Kiwi Bird has the power to score a knockout today if he connects clean with Mr Jobber's chin.

Jobber
vs
Bird

150 cm
30
77 lbs
1 - 117 - 0

150 cm
21
130 lbs
0 - 71 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Counter striker
Experienced

BJJ White Belt
Counter striker
Solid chin

Hell's Kitchen Lab Corp (95% quick laundry)
TITAN

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 117 - 0, fighting out of London, Mr Jobber!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 71 - 0, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, Kiwi Bird!
The judges for this bout are Mauricio Rocha, Leandro Rodrigues and Edson Gomes.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Jobber throws a front kick aimed at Bird's knee but Bird avoids it well.
Bird looks gassed!
Jobber throws a leg kick but Bird sees it coming and moves out of range.
Jobber throws out a leg kick but Bird moves out of range and Jobber only half commits.
Jobber lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Jobber misses with a low kick.
An inside leg kick from Jobber misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jobber scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Bird should think about turning a few of those tyres round his middle into muscle if he wants people to take him seriously as an athlete.
Bird thows a body shot but no joy.
Jobber scores with a slapping inside leg kick.
Jobber throws a nice inside leg kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Bird blocks a low kick nicely.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Bird checks a leg kick.
Jobber throws a leg kick that is checked
and Bird finishes the little exchange by landing a big kick to the body.
Jobber fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Bird has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bird on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Jobber. Jobber obviously looking to wear him down.
Bird takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Jobber scores with a leg kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Bird blocks a low kick nicely.
Jobber cracks the inside of Bird's front leg.
Bird's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Good work by Bird as he checks the leg kick.
Jobber throws a low kick but Bird avoids it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Mr Jobber dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Bird checks a low kick. Bone on bone - not my idea of a good time.
Jobber fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Bird is out of range.
An inside leg kick from Jobber misses.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bird checks the leg kick.
Bird is breathing heavily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jobber throws a leg kick but Bird sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Jobber lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Bird has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Bird and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Jobber connects with an inside leg kick.
Jobber tries to work over Bird's front leg with a kick but Bird checks it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jobber tries to land a leg kick but Bird saw it coming and moves away.
Jobber throws out a leg kick but Bird moves out of range and Jobber only half commits.
Jobber throws a low kick but Bird moves out of range easily.
Jobber fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Bird is out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Jobber throws a leg kick but Bird sees it coming and checks it nicely.
Bird checks a leg kick.
Jobber feints and then cracks Bird's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Bird down.
Bird on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Jobber. Jobber obviously looking to wear him down.
Mr Jobber is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A clash of legs there as Bird blocks the low kick.
Mr Jobber is winning the standup battle so far.
Jobber attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Jobber turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Jobber will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Mr Jobber dominated that second round.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business. This is the final round!

Jobber throws a leg kick but Bird checks it.
Jobber attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Some bone on bone action there as Bird checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Jobber misses with a low kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Jobber tries to land a leg kick but Bird saw it coming and moves away.
Bird takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Bird blocks a low kick nicely.
Jobber will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Bird throws a head kick that misses
and Jobber counters with a low kick, right behind Bird 's knee.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jobber tries to score with a low kick but Bird moves his leg out of the way.
Jobber finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Jobber tries to work over Bird's front leg with a kick but Bird checks it.
Jobber looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Bird checks the leg kick.
Jobber throws out a leg kick but Bird moves out of range and Jobber only half commits.
Both fighters are looking to counter, which isn't making for the most exciting fight in the world.
A bone on bone clash there as Bird blocks the leg kick.
Jobber shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Jobber fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Bird checks it well.
Jobber lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Bird moves out of range of the leg kick from Jobber.

And that's the end of the fight!
Mr Jobber showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Jobber has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Mauricio Rocha scores the fight 30:27
Judge Leandro Rodrigues scores the fight 30:27
Judge Edson Gomes scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Mr Jobber!
Mr Jobber really struggled to get his t-shirt on before his hand was raised. Making sure that TITAN logo gets some air time is pretty tricky when you're all sweaty.