PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight kickboxing rules bout between Clinch Me (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and The Boss (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). We have two fighters making their debuts here, so let's see who comes out of this one with their first professional victory.

Me
vs
Boss

187 cm
18
215 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

187 cm
25
205 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

Brawler
KO power

Solid Muay Thai
Granite chin

Hell's Balls Recovery

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Clinch Me!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, The Boss!
The judges for this bout are James Ackerman, Andrew Berry and Sam Margolis.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Boss wants to clinch up but Me keeps it at a distance.

Me darts in and clinches Boss up against the cage.
Me fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Stalling in the clinch from Boss.
Me lands an uppercut.
Nice body punch from Boss - that landed with a thud.
Boss prevents a body shot from Me.
Boss slows down the pace here.
Me missing with knees to the body.
Boss leaning against his opponent.
Me misses with the head strike.
Me using the Thai plumb to throw knees but Boss has his back arched nicely, preventing the strike.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Me is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage.
Me with the Thai clinch, lands a knee to the head.

It looks like The Boss has been cut.
Me is looking to control Boss's arms but Boss gets an underhook and turns him. Now Me has his back to the cage.
Boss is stalling here.
Boss continues to stall. The referee tells him to work or he's going to break them up.
Me is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.
Me letting Boss take a breather here.
Me tries to land a knee to the head but Boss blocks with his arms.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Me lands an elbow that stopped Boss in his tracks for a moment.
Me trying to land knees to the body.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Me.
Boss prevents a body shot from Me.
Me tries to land knees in the clinch but Boss avoids the damage to the body.
Me misses with a short punch on the inside.
Me looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Boss blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Me stalling in the clinch but Boss improves position.
Boss taking a breather.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Me trying to control the position but instead, Boss has worked for underhooks and has pushed Me into the cage.
Boss blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Boss's corner are urging him to control the action in the clinch for a moment, rather than mount any serious offense. I'm sure the crowd appreciate those instructions... not.
Me missing with knees to the body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Boss is struggling to control the position.
Me throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Me stalling in the clinch but Boss improves position.
Boss avoiding damage as Me throws knees to the body.
Come on Boss - let's have some action - none of this stalling nonsense.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by The Boss.

Boss moves into range and clinches up with Me.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Clinch Me dominated that round.
The cut man is working on The Boss's cut.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Boss has managed to clinch.
Boss blocks a body shot from Me.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Boss as Me tries to tie him up.
Boss displaying some good clinch control by pressing Me up against the cage.
Boss avoiding damage as Me throws knees to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Me is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by Clinch Me.
Boss tries to clinch but Me is having none of it.

Boss takes the fight into the clinch.
Me is looking to control Boss's arms but Boss gets an underhook and turns him. Now Me has his back to the cage.
Me can't find room to land a body shot as Boss controls the action.
Boss stalling the fight.
Boss dodges an elbow strike from Me.
Me struggles to land a body shot inside as Boss controls his hands.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Boss avoids a wild elbow strike from Me.
Me looking to slow down the pace here.
Boss leaning against his opponent.
Me trying to control the position but instead, Boss has worked for underhooks and has pushed Me into the cage.
Me fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Me tries to stall but Boss uses the opportunity to gain a better position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Me tries to work over Boss's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Boss blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Boss.
Me is working Boss over against the cage.
Boss pressing his opponent against the cage.
Me throws an elbow but it misses.
Come on Boss - let's have some action - none of this stalling nonsense.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by The Boss.

Me clinches with his opponent.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Boss just leaning against Me, taking a breather.
Me is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but Boss is keeping busy.
Me can't seem to implement his control oriented gameplan at the moment. That's no bad thing of course, for those of us who want to see a good fight.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Clinch Me dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on The Boss's cut.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action. This is the final round!

Boss is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
Me moves out of range as Boss throws a body kick.

Me gets in close and instigates a clinch.
Boss stalling here - the referee won't stand for too much of that.
Me misses with the head strike.
Me is trying to slow down the pace of the fight but Boss is keeping busy.
The pace really dropping off here, momentarily.
Me misses with a body punch.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Me misses the knee to the body. Nice hip positioning from Boss.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Me.
Boss will no doubt start fighting again in a minute but for now he's just having a little rest, leaning Me up against the cage.
Me misses with some punches.
Good anti-grappling being displayed by Boss as Me tries to tie him up.
Boss controlling the action here for a moment.
The crowd are getting on Boss's back here. They're not happy about his lack of aggression in the clinch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Me has a couple of punches blocked by Boss.
Boss blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.
Boss leaning his opponent against the cage.
Boss on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
Me misses with an elbow strike.
Clinch Me has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Boss stalling against the cage.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by The Boss.

Me tries to keep at a distance but Boss has taken the fight into the clinch.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
Me goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Boss.
Me tries to land knees in the clinch but Boss avoids the damage to the body.
Me pushes off an throws an elbow but Boss leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
Boss blocks an elbow strike.
Me pushes off an throws an elbow but Boss leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Boss on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Me.
Me fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Boss blocks the elbow strike.
Me working aggressively here.
Both fighters working to control the clinch.
Me misses with an elbow over the top.
Me stalling in the clinch but Boss improves position.
Me misses with a punch to the body.
Me tries to throw a body punch but Boss avoids it by throwing Me back against the cage.
Me taking a breather.
The Boss has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Clinch Me is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Me blocks a knee to the body. He'll have a nicely bruised forearm in the morning.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Clinch Me.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Me, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge James Ackerman scores the fight 30:27
Judge Andrew Berry scores the fight 30:27
Judge Sam Margolis scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Clinch Me!
After the big win, Clinch Me made sure to do all the important stuff like thanking his sponsors Hell's Balls Recovery and telling the interviewer how much he loves him.