PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Sinuhe Egyptian (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cartman comes to the cage accompanied by Unclefucker. Egyptian comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Egyptian Entrance Song kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Cartman
vs
Egyptian

184 cm
27
179 lbs
19 - 7 - 1

182 cm
28
166 lbs
21 - 6 - 1

Good wrestling
Dangerous knees
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class MT
Granite chin

Undead clothing. All items 10$

Perkele!
Perkele!

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 19 - 7 - 1, fighting out of Helsinki, Eric Cartman!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 21 - 6 - 1, fighting out of Helsinki, Sinuhe Egyptian!
The judges for this bout are Johanna Lukiainen, Anni Minnemäki and Matti Vanhoillinen.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Egyptian wants to land a leg kick but Cartman is out of range.
Egyptian uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Cartman.
Egyptian tries to close the distance and clinch up but Cartman swats him away and circles back towards the center.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
Egyptian walks into a left hand.
A jab from Cartman misses.
Egyptian misses with a low kick.
A head kick misses from Egyptian.
Cartman misses with a body punch
and Egyptian counters with an inside leg kick.
Cartman waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Egyptian.
Egyptian throws a front kick aimed at Cartman's knee but Cartman avoids it well.
Cartman avoids a kick to the body.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Cartman.
Egyptian bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
A jab from Egyptian does it's job there.
Cartman checks a low kick from Egyptian.
Cartman throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Egyptian thows a left - swing and a miss!
Egyptian misses with a low kick.
Egyptian walks into a stiff left hand from Cartman.
Cartman fails to land the takedown.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Egyptian avoids a kick to the body.
Sinuhe Egyptian is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
A head kick by Egyptian misses
enabling Cartman to counter with a crisp jab.
Egyptian looks to land a left hand but Cartman moved out of range nicely.
A left lands for Cartman.
Egyptian tries to clinch up but Cartman circles away and keeps his distance.
Egyptian scores with a kick to the body.
Egyptian cracks the inside of Cartman's front leg.
Nice sprawl there from Egyptian as Cartman shoots in.
Egyptian shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Egyptian keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Cartman.
A punch combination from Egyptian misses.
Cartman connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Cartman misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Cartman throws a jab but it's blocked by Egyptian.
Cartman throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Egyptian makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Egyptian lands the left hand.

Excellent takedown into side control there by Cartman.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
The referee claps his hands together and tells the fighters to work.
Cartman trying to control the action but Egyptian is working from the bottom.
Egyptian is trying to get back to his feet.
Egyptian tries to improve position but can't.
Cartman throwing strikes but missing, from side control.
Egyptian dodges the ground and pound from Cartman.
Egyptian struggling a bit here.
Egyptian is trying to get back to half guard.
Egyptian is trying to control Cartman's posture but Cartman avoids it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Egyptian manages to get one leg in to regain half guard.
Egyptian wants to improve his position but Cartman is controlling well.
Cartman is looking to take a break and control but Egyptian is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Egyptian is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Egyptian is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.
Cartman is keen to just control but Egyptian is a slippery customer.
Egyptian tries to roll over but Cartman keeps him under control.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Egyptian is trying to stand up here but Cartman is controlling him well.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman winds up and cracks Egyptian with a swinging punch to the side of the head.
Cartman controlling the action here.
Egyptian slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Cartman throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
Cartman cracks Egyptian with a solid left hand.
Cartman has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.
Cartman trying to control the position from guard on top but Egyptian is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Cartman stopping the sweep attempt from Egyptian.
Egyptian keeping moving, preventing Cartman from controlling successfully.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Eric Cartman will probably get the nod.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Egyptian throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Cartman counters with a head kick. That will keep Egyptian thinking before he tries any more sloppy attacks!
Cartman throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
A clash of legs there as Cartman blocks the low kick.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Egyptian lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Cartman has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Cartman and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Egyptian throws a low kick but his opponent is out of range.
Egyptian walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Cartman checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Cartman on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Egyptian. Egyptian obviously looking to wear him down.
Egyptian misses with a kick to the body.
Cartman on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Egyptian. Egyptian obviously looking to wear him down.
Egyptian misses with a low kick.
Egyptian throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Egyptian misses with a low kick.
Egyptian slips a jab from Cartman.
Egyptian cracks Cartman with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Cartman shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as Egyptian sprawls well. Egyptian wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Cartman gets slowly back to his feet.
Egyptian throws a leg kick but Cartman sees it coming and moves out of range.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Egyptian misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Cartman.
Egyptian throws a head kick but Cartman moves out of range.
Egyptian scores with a kick to the body.
Egyptian jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Cartman is looking to score with low kicks.

Cartman scores a takedown into full mount!
Egyptian regains half guard.
Cartman stalling away here and it's allowed Egyptian to slip out his trapped foot and regain full guard.
Egyptian is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Cartman wants to control from the top but Egyptian keeps moving.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Egyptian is controlling Cartman's posture.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Cartman is looking to work some ground and pound but Egyptian has wrist control.
Egyptian lands a beautiful switch and he's in full mount! That could spell trouble for Cartman!
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Egyptian controlling the position easily from mount.
Egyptian prevents Cartman from getting the reversal.
Egyptian sitting in mount, just looking to control for the moment.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

The ref stands the fighters back up. Sinuhe Egyptian was stalling too much, according to the referee.
Cartman finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Egyptian throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
A good leg kick by Egyptian.
Cartman misses the shot to the body.
Egyptian looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Sinuhe Egyptian seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Cartman uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Egyptian.
Egyptian misses with a leg kick.
Egyptian throws a body kick the misses
and Cartman counters with a head kick.
Egyptian cracks Cartman with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Egyptian moves out of range of the strikes.
Egyptian tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in the close the distance. Cartman manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Cartman throws a leg kick but Egyptian moved away.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Cartman swats away the attempt to clinch by Egyptian.
Cartman doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Cartman avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Sinuhe Egyptian showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!

Cartman steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Egyptian.
Cartman throws a shot from downtown. Egyptian moves away and avoids it.
Cartman scoring well with a low kick there.
Cartman misses with a hook. Egyptian ducked under it nicely.
Egyptian throws a low kick, looking for Cartman's leg but Cartman calmly moves out of range.
Nice defenses there by Egyptian.
Cartman blocks the body kick.
Cartman takes a kick to the body and keeps moving.
Egyptian tries to land a front kick but Cartman steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Egyptian lands a jab to Cartman's midsection.
Egyptian connects with a high kick.
Egyptian wants to clinch.
Cartman connects with a single shot there.
Cartman walks forward, straight into a front kick from Egyptian.
Egyptian misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Egyptian throws a low kick but Cartman avoids it.
Egyptian fails to land with a series of punches.
Cartman throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Egyptian will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Egyptian.
Nice cross by Cartman.
Cartman fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
A bone on bone clash there as Egyptian blocks the leg kick.
Egyptian defending well as Cartman loads up on a big left hand.
Nice shot lands for Cartman.
Egyptian slips under a jab from Cartman.
Egyptian slips under a jab from Cartman.
Nice defenses there by Egyptian.
Egyptian tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Cartman.
Egyptian throws a lazy right hand but Cartman sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
A head kick from Cartman lands but Egyptian takes it in his stride.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman misses with a hook. Egyptian ducked under it nicely.
Cartman throws a leg kick which misses Egyptian's front leg but catches the back leg as Egyptian tries to avoid it.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Egyptian, right into the meat.
A low kick from Egyptian is predictable there
and Cartman counters with a big head kick but Egyptian shrugs it off.
Egyptian throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Cartman throws a lazy uppercut
and Egyptian counters with a left and a right that stings Cartman.
Cartman waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Egyptian.
Egyptian scores with a spinning back kick!
Cartman swings widly with a right hand
and Egyptian counters with a flying knee. Nice.
A shot to the liver by Egyptian. Beautiful body shot.
Egyptian looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Egyptian throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Egyptian shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Egyptian misses with a body kick.
Cartman is looking to slow Egyptian down with leg kicks.
Egyptian thows a leg kick but Cartman checks it
and Cartman counters with a straight punch to the midsection.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Egyptian slips a jab from Cartman.
Egyptian with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Cartman to score with a decent uppercut.
Egyptian throws a leg kick but Cartman moved away.
Cartman misses with a right hand
and Egyptian counters with a nice low kick that buckles Cartman's knee momentarily.
Egyptian misses with a body shot.
Cartman connects nicely with a jab. Noted by the judges no doubt.
Egyptian misses with a hook.
A slapping leg kick lands for Egyptian.
Egyptian keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Cartman throws a head kick that misses.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Cartman lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Egyptian has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Egyptian and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Egyptian is looking to clinch.
Egyptian attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.

Egyptian darts in and clinches Cartman up against the cage.
Cartman cracks Egyptian with a nice body shot.
Cartman tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman tries to throw a body punch but Egyptian avoids it by throwing Cartman back against the cage.
Egyptian tries to throw a body punch but Cartman avoids it by throwing Egyptian back against the cage.
Cartman fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Egyptian lands a left hand that snaps the head of Cartman backwards.
A nice left hand lands by Cartman.
Cartman tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Cartman lands a knee to the head there! That was nasty!
A shot in the inside from Cartman.
Egyptian wants to break free but Cartman has control.
Egyptian lands with a good tight uppercut to the head.
Cartman lands a body punch.
Egyptian is trying to maintain a safe position but Cartman gets an underhook and turns Egyptian into the cage.
Egyptian avoiding damage as Cartman throws knees to the body.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!

Cartman has Egyptian pressed up against the cage. He's trying to work for a single leg takedown. Cartman pulls back from the cage and twists to the side, sending Egyptian tumbling to the mat - Cartman dives into Egyptian's guard.
Cartman missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Eric Cartman.
I think Cartman has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Johanna Lukiainen scores the fight 29:28
Judge Anni Minnemäki scores the fight 29:28
Judge Matti Vanhoillinen scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Eric Cartman!
A determined Eric Cartman didn't want to dwell on this fight in his post fight interview. Instead he was more keen to state he wants a title shot. Let's see if he gets it!