PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight kickboxing rules bout between Tubo Lard (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Simo Kuassimo (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Lard comes into the arena with I'm Fat blaring out of the sound system. Simo Kuassimo is the more experienced fighter, so let's see if that makes a difference tonight.

Lard
vs
Kuassimo

197 cm
23
223 lbs
4 - 2 - 0

185 cm
25
217 lbs
9 - 4 - 0

World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Great elbows
Knockout power

Steel Terror-Trition: Video Proven 160Q+Laundry!
Steel Terror-Trition: Video Proven 160Q+Laundry!

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 4 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Tubo Lard!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 9 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Simo Kuassimo!
The judges for this bout are Yukihiro Yamamoto, Shigeki Sano and Tatsuya Matsuyama.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Lard misses the body punch
and Kuassimo counters with a flying knee. Nice.
Kuassimo throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.

Lard forces Kuassimo back against the ropes and clinches.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Lard.
Lard blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Kuassimo gets through Lard's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Lard struggles to land a body shot inside as Kuassimo controls his hands.
A shot in the inside from Kuassimo.
Kuassimo misses with a hook to the ribs.
Kuassimo looks to throw an elbow but misses.
Lard misses with a hook to the ribs.
Lard scores with a shoulder strike.
Lard misses with some punches.
Kuassimo tries to throw a body punch but Lard avoids it by throwing Kuassimo back against the ropes.

Lard's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Lard, right into the meat.
Kuassimo throws an overhand right that lands on Lard's shoulder, as Lard tries to avoid the shot.
Kuassimo throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Lard avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
Lard uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Kuassimo.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lard throws a sloppy head kick and Kuassimo moves out of range easily.
Lard lands with a nice combination. Kuassimo backs away looking to recover.

It looks like Simo Kuassimo has been cut.
Simo Kuassimo seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Kuassimo swings widly with a right hand
and Lard counters with a straight right hand.

Kuassimo fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Lard, pushing him back against the ropes.
Kuassimo has a couple of punches blocked by Lard.
Lard looking to slow down the pace here.
Lard swings wildly with an uppercut but Kuassimo uses good head movement to avoid it.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Lard.
Kuassimo missing with knees to the body.
Lard avoids a wild elbow strike from Kuassimo.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Kuassimo looks to throw an elbow but misses.

Lard breaks the clinch.
Kuassimo misses with a head kick.
Decent striking displayed by Lard there.
Lard pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Kuassimo goes for a high kick. It partially lands.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lard turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.

Lard clinches.
Lard blocking some punches.
Kuassimo struggles to land a body shot inside as Lard controls his hands.
Lard scores with a shot to the side of Kuassimo's head.
Lard lands a hook to the side of the head.
Kuassimo tries to work over Lard's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Lard is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the ropes.
Lard lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Kuassimo misses with a hook to the ribs.
Lard tries to work over Kuassimo's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
A right hand to the body from Lard.
Kuassimo misses with a body punch.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Lard avoids the elbow strike from Kuassimo, against the ropes.
Lard lands a right hand that snaps the head of Kuassimo backwards.
Lard swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Lard lands with a short head shot on the inside.
Lard lands on the inside with an uppercut.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Tubo Lard dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Simo Kuassimo's cut.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Kuassimo avoids the head kick by Lard.
Kuassimo throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
Kuassimo takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Kuassimo throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Lard turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Kuassimo takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Kuassimo turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Lard's corner calls for a 1-2. Lard obliges with the 1 part as he scores the single shot and moves back out of range.
Lard blocks a head kick by Kuassimo.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Kuassimo throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Kuassimo walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Lard checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.
Kuassimo pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
A head kick misses from Lard.
Kuassimo closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.

That has opened up Simo Kuassimo's cut even more.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Lard lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Kuassimo has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Kuassimo and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Lard takes a body punch but keeps moving.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lard throws a low kick but Kuassimo avoids it.

Lard takes the fight into the clinch.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Lard.
Kuassimo works for underhooks and lands a body shot in the process.
Kuassimo tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Kuassimo misses with a hook to the ribs.
Kuassimo throws a head punch that misses.
Kuassimo tries to work over Lard's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Kuassimo lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Kuassimo misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Kuassimo tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Lard avoids it.

Lard breaks the clinch.
Lard throws out a leg kick but Kuassimo moves out of range and Lard only half commits.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
A slapping leg kick lands for Lard.
Lard throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Kuassimo throws a solid leg kick but Lard takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Kuassimo.
Lard tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lard bobbing and weaving, closes the distance and lands a hook to the side of Kuassimo's head.
Lard lands a slapping body shot.
Lard misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Lard is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Kuassimo connects with a body shot that sends Lard's belly button to the back.
Kuassimo dodges the punch combination from Lard.
Kuassimo scores with a head kick.
Kuassimo throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Simo Kuassimo is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Kuassimo swinging wildly here.
Lard avoids a low kick by using good footwork.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
A head kick misses from Kuassimo.
Lard lands with a hook. Kuassimo tried to avoid it but it clipped the top of his head.
Kuassimo throws a sloppy head kick and Lard moves out of range easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Tubo Lard will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Simo Kuassimo's cut.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin!

Lard throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Kuassimo takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
Lard moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Lard connects with a jab.
An inside leg kick lands from Lard.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.

Lard gets tackled into the ropes by Kuassimo. Kuassimo maintains the clinch.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Lard.

Kuassimo is rocked!

The cut above Simo Kuassimo's eye is starting to cause him problems now.
Kuassimo fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Kuassimo tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Lard blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Kuassimo blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Kuassimo misses with an elbow strike.
Lard lands with a left to the head.
Kuassimo throws an elbow but it misses.
Lard blocks an elbow strike.
Kuassimo gets through Lard's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
With the fighters up against the ropes, Kuassimo throws an elbow but misses.
Kuassimo tries a body shot but Lard blocks it.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lard lands a body punch - he's looking to wear down Kuassimo.
Tubo Lard has scored more points in the clinch so far.
Kuassimo takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Kuassimo softening up his opponent with strikes, against the ropes.
Kuassimo has a couple of punches blocked by Lard.
Kuassimo throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Lard tries to work over Kuassimo's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Lard.
Lard misses with a punch to the body.
Lard is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Kuassimo takes a shot to the head.
Lard lands a shoulder strike.
Kuassimo is still on wobbly legs! Can Lard finish him?
Kuassimo tries a body shot but Lard blocks it.
Lard misses with a punch on the inside.
A nice left hand lands by Lard.
Kuassimo missing with knees to the body.
Kuassimo tries to land a knee to the body but he is off balance and Lard avoids it.
Lard lands a body punch.
Kuassimo seems to have recovered his senses.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Lard makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut.
Lard lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Lard creates a bit of space for himself and unleashed what can only be described as a tiger uppercut, straight out of Street Fighter! Kuassimo crashes to the mat! Can he make it back to his feet in time? 3,4,5,6... it doesn't look like he's going to make it! Kuassimo face plants back to the mat and the referee calls off the fight! Lard takes it with a brutal technical knockout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:59 of round 3, we have a winner by way of TKO (Punch). Tubo Lard!
An out of breath Tubo Lard thanked his loyal fans in his post fight interview, giving them credit for his success over the course of his career.