PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Laz Herculus (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Butt Piracy (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Piracy has chosen I Like Big Butts as his entrance music. Butt Piracy acknowledges the crowd's support as he enters the cage.

Herculus
vs
Piracy

225 cm
23
300 lbs
8 - 1 - 0

210 cm
24
300 lbs
6 - 1 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Excellent MT
Granite chin

Charlie Wang's Tattered Rags & 95% Laundry

Charlie Wang's Nutrition and 95 % Laundry

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Laz Herculus!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Butt Piracy!
The judges for this bout are Timothy Bukovac, Don Winkell and Frank Antenori.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Piracy wants to clinch
letting Herculus counter with a right hand.

It looks like Butt Piracy has been cut.
Piracy is looking to clinch but Herculus is avoiding it.

Piracy moves into the clinch.
A head punch on the inside from Piracy fails to land.
Piracy pushes off and fires off an elbow that misses, before clinching up again, against the cage.
Piracy throws a head punch that misses.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Piracy prevents Herculus from breaking the clinch.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Piracy.
A head punch on the inside from Piracy fails to land.
Piracy misses with a hook to the ribs.
Piracy doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Piracy with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Herculus misses with a punch on the inside.
Herculus wants to break free but Piracy has control.
Herculus gets through Piracy's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Piracy misses with a body punch.
Piracy lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Piracy doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Piracy has a couple of punches blocked by Herculus.
Piracy tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Piracy with a knee to the head.

It looks like Laz Herculus has been cut.
Piracy lands a right hand.

Herculus is rocked!
A head punch blocked on the inside by Herculus.
Oh Herculus is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Herculus has had enough of the clinch but Piracy keeps him there for the moment.
Piracy creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Herculus's defenses.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Piracy creates some distance for himselfand unleashes a massive uppercut that sends Herculus's eyes rolling into the back of his head! Herculus drops to his knees and Piracy pours it on with more strikes until the referee steps in to end the bout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:38 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Butt Piracy!
Butt Piracy thanked the fans post fight for their support.