PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Shane Carwin (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Horny Helmet (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Carwin has a slight injury, which hopefully won't affect the fight too much. Horny Helmet is the more experienced fighter, so let's see if that makes a difference tonight.

Carwin
vs
Helmet

225 cm
25
205 lbs
0 - 1 - 0

193 cm
25
204 lbs
0 - 1 - 0

Good wrestling
Brawler
Cuts easily

BJJ White Belt
Great elbows
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of New York, Shane Carwin!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of New York, Horny Helmet!
The judges for this bout are John Kavanagh, Chad Campbell and John Roberts.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Carwin dodges the punch combination from Helmet.
Carwin is breathing heavily.
Helmet will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Helmet throws a right and a left that both miss.
Carwin avoids a punch combination nicely.
Helmet misses with a jab, cross combination.
Carwin tries a head kick but it misses.
Helmet misses with a few strikes there.
No joy there for Helmet, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
A punch combination from Helmet misses.
Helmet throws a right and a left that both miss.
Helmet swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Helmet misses with a double jab.
Helmet lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Carwin circles away quickly and effectively.
Carwin tries a head kick but it misses.
Helmet will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Helmet avoids the head kick by Carwin.
Helmet throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Carwin.
Carwin misses with a head kick.
Helmet misses with a two punch combination.
Helmet goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Carwin tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!

That's one minute gone in the round.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin moves out of range.
Helmet misses with a wild combination.
Helmet throws a right and a left that Carwin avoids nicely.
Helmet lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Carwin circles away quickly and effectively.
Helmet throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Carwin is on the wrong end of a nice combination from Helmet.
Helmet avoids the head kick by Carwin.
Carwin throws a sloppy head kick and Helmet moves out of range easily.
Helmet swinging wildly here.
Some wild striking there from Helmet.
Carwin showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Helmet.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Helmet swinging wildly here.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin avoids them all with ease.
Carwin misses with a head kick.
A punch combination from Helmet misses.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
A head kick misses from Carwin.
Helmet looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
A head kick misses from Carwin.
Helmet rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Carwin moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Helmet lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Carwin circles away quickly and effectively.
Carwin tries a head kick but it misses.
Helmet lets the fists fly and connects with a left straight followed by a right hook.
Carwin really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Carwin avoids a punch combination nicely.
Carwin avoids a punch combination nicely.
Carwin showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Helmet.
Helmet tries to bum rush Carwin with a series of wild strikes but Carwin uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Helmet fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Helmet throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Carwin.
Helmet throws a one two combo.
Carwin misses with a head kick.
Some wild striking there from Helmet.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin moves out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses.
Helmet throws a nice looking combination but Carwin bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Helmet looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Helmet misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin avoids them all with ease.
Carwin dodges the punch combination from Helmet.
Helmet blocks a head kick by Carwin.
Helmet throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Helmet throws a right and a left that both miss.
A punch combination from Helmet misses.
Carwin tries a head kick but it misses.
Carwin throws a sloppy head kick and Helmet moves out of range easily.
Helmet throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Helmet throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Helmet throws a right hand that Carwin ducks under and follows up with a left that Carwin also avoids with ease.
No joy there for Helmet, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Helmet misses with a series of wild punches.
Helmet throws a right and a left that Carwin avoids nicely.
Helmet misses with a wild combination.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
There's not a lot going on here and the crowd are letting the fighters know they're not willing to tolerate a lack of action.
Helmet looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Carwin throws a head kick but Helmet moves out of range.
No joy there for Helmet, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Carwin avoids a punch combination nicely.
A combination from Helmet does no damage.
Helmet misses with the combination.
Carwin throws a sloppy head kick and Helmet moves out of range easily.
Carwin dodges the punch combination from Helmet.
Helmet rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Carwin moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Helmet looks to land a combination but Carwin avoids it well.
Carwin throws a head kick but Helmet moves out of range.
Carwin tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Carwin slips a jab and a cross from Helmet.
Sloppy strikes from Helmet. Those never looked like landing.
Helmet fails to land with a series of punches.
Helmet throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Horny Helmet dominated that round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action!

Helmet lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Carwin circles away quickly and effectively.
Helmet looks to land a combination but Carwin avoids it well.
Shane Carwin is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Helmet fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin avoids them all with ease.
Helmet blocks a head kick by Carwin.
Helmet throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Carwin.
Helmet throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Carwin slips a jab and a cross from Helmet.
A head kick misses from Carwin.
Helmet misses with the combination.
Carwin showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Helmet.
Carwin pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Helmet looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Helmet misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
A head kick misses from Carwin.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses.
Sloppy strikes from Helmet. Those never looked like landing.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Helmet scores to the head and body with a nice combination!
Carwin slips a jab and a cross from Helmet.
Carwin has not gone for a single takedown so far in this fight, which seems like a very strange tactic when you consider that he has the superior wrestling and BJJ.
Carwin tries a head kick but it misses.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Some wild striking there from Helmet.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Helmet throws a right hand that Carwin ducks under and follows up with a left that Carwin also avoids with ease.
Carwin throws a sloppy head kick and Helmet moves out of range easily.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Helmet swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Helmet tries to bum rush Carwin with a series of wild strikes but Carwin uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
Helmet throws a one two combo.
Helmet throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Helmet throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Sloppy strikes from Helmet. Those never looked like landing.
No joy there for Helmet, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by Helmet!
Helmet goes to the watering hole and comes back with a big thumbs up from the judges as he scores a three punch combo.
Helmet throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Helmet will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Carwin misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Carwin showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Helmet.
Carwin avoids a punch combination nicely.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Carwin misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Helmet misses with a double jab.
Helmet throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Helmet fails to land with a series of punches.
A head kick misses from Carwin.
Helmet misses with the combination.
Helmet stalks Carwin and leaps in with a furious combination of punches. Uppercuts and crosses smash into Carwin's face. Carwin staggers backwards, shaken.
Helmet blocks a head kick by Carwin.
Helmet throws a right hand that Carwin ducks under and follows up with a left that Carwin also avoids with ease.
Helmet throws a right and a left that Carwin avoids nicely.
Helmet rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Carwin moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Carwin tries a head kick but it misses.
Helmet misses with a jab, cross combination.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin moves out of range.
Helmet misses with a jab, cross combination.
Helmet misses with a two punch combination.
Carwin avoids a punch combination nicely.
Carwin misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Carwin misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Helmet fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
A head kick misses from Carwin.
Carwin misses with a head kick.
No joy there for Helmet, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Carwin throws a sloppy head kick and Helmet moves out of range easily.
Helmet throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
A punch combination from Helmet misses.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses.
Carwin slips a jab and a cross from Helmet.
A punch combination from Helmet misses.
Helmet lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Carwin circles away quickly and effectively.
Carwin pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Helmet blocks a head kick by Carwin.
Helmet avoids the head kick by Carwin.
Carwin showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Helmet.
A head kick misses from Carwin.
Helmet throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Helmet misses with a series of wild punches.
Helmet misses with a jab, cross combination.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.
Helmet lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Carwin circles away quickly and effectively.
Carwin misses with a head kick.
Helmet misses with a jab, cross combination.
Helmet throws a right and a left that both miss.
Carwin pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Carwin dodges the punch combination from Helmet.
Helmet swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin avoids them all with ease.
Helmet misses with a series of wild punches.
Helmet looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Carwin slips a jab and a cross from Helmet.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Helmet misses with a double jab.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Carwin tries a head kick but it misses.
Helmet rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Carwin moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Carwin tries a head kick but it misses.
Helmet misses with a jab, cross combination.
Helmet is working the combinations to good effect here.
Helmet looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Horny Helmet showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's time! Carwin's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Carwin misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Helmet swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Helmet swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Helmet lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Carwin circles away quickly and effectively.
Sloppy strikes from Helmet. Those never looked like landing.
Helmet swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Helmet throws a right and a left that Carwin avoids nicely.
Sloppy strikes from Helmet. Those never looked like landing.
Carwin tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Carwin slips a jab and a cross from Helmet.
Helmet misses with a wild combination.
Helmet rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Carwin moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses.
Helmet looks to land a combination but Carwin avoids it well.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Carwin takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
A head kick misses from Carwin.
Helmet throws a right hand that Carwin ducks under and follows up with a left that Carwin also avoids with ease.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin avoids them all with ease.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.
Carwin throws a sloppy head kick and Helmet moves out of range easily.
Helmet looks to land a combination but Carwin avoids it well.
Carwin throws a sloppy head kick and Helmet moves out of range easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Helmet swinging wildly here.
Carwin slips a jab and a cross from Helmet.
Carwin tries a head kick but it misses.
Helmet swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Sloppy strikes from Helmet. Those never looked like landing.
Helmet swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Helmet throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Helmet throws a right and a left that Carwin avoids nicely.
Helmet misses with a few strikes there.
Helmet misses with the combination.
A combination from Helmet does no damage.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin avoids them all with ease.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Helmet misses with a two punch combination.
Sloppy strikes from Helmet. Those never looked like landing.
Carwin pulls out of a head kick attempt.
A left and a right from Helmet both land. Nice combination.
Helmet closes the distance and lands a one-two.
Helmet misses with a two punch combination.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Helmet misses with a series of wild punches.
Helmet throws a right hand that Carwin ducks under and follows up with a left that Carwin also avoids with ease.
Helmet throws a right and a left that Carwin avoids nicely.
Carwin tries a head kick but it misses.
Helmet throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Helmet avoids the head kick by Carwin.
Helmet swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin moves out of range.
A combination from Helmet does no damage.
Carwin throws a sloppy head kick and Helmet moves out of range easily.
Sloppy strikes from Helmet. Those never looked like landing.
Helmet swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.
Helmet throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Helmet will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Helmet misses with a jab, cross combination.
No joy there for Helmet, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Helmet throws a right and a left that Carwin avoids nicely.
Carwin showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Helmet.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin moves out of range.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Helmet lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Carwin circles away quickly and effectively.
Carwin throws a head kick but Helmet moves out of range.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin moves out of range.
Helmet misses with a wild combination.
Helmet misses with a series of wild punches.
Carwin takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
A head kick misses from Carwin.
Carwin throws a head kick but Helmet moves out of range.
Helmet misses with a jab, cross combination.
A combination from Helmet does no damage.
Helmet misses with the combination.
No joy there for Helmet, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Sloppy strikes from Helmet. Those never looked like landing.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Helmet lands with a nice combination. Carwin backs away looking to recover.
Helmet fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin moves out of range.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Carwin throws a head kick but Helmet moves out of range.
Helmet blocks a head kick by Carwin.
A punch combination from Helmet misses.
Helmet throws a right hand that Carwin ducks under and follows up with a left that Carwin also avoids with ease.
Carwin throws a sloppy head kick and Helmet moves out of range easily.
Helmet looks to land a combination but Carwin avoids it well.
Helmet lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Carwin circles away quickly and effectively.
Helmet throws a right and a left that both miss.
Helmet lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Carwin circles away quickly and effectively.
Carwin tries a head kick but it misses.
Helmet throws a series of punches but Carwin avoids them all with ease.
Helmet throws a right and a left that both miss.
Helmet misses with a series of wild punches.
Carwin misses with a head kick.
Carwin misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Carwin throws a head kick that misses.
A punch combination from Helmet misses.
Carwin throws a head kick that misses.
Helmet throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Helmet blocks a head kick by Carwin.

And that's the end of the fight!
Horny Helmet comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Helmet has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.

Judge John Kavanagh scores the fight for Horny Helmet!
Judge Chad Campbell scores the fight for Horny Helmet!
Judge John Roberts scores the fight for Horny Helmet!

Horny Helmet wins by unanimous decision!