PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Borris Whoopyourasski (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Fredruk Reinfeldt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Borris Whoopyourasski is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples... Tweaking his own nipples that is.

Whoopyourasski
vs
Reinfeldt

195 cm
28
260 lbs
15 - 3 - 0

199 cm
26
263 lbs
10 - 4 - 0

Good wrestling
Excellent boxer
Very quick

Good wrestler
Excellent boxer
Powerful

Vodka Rags

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 15 - 3 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Borris Whoopyourasski!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 10 - 4 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Fredruk Reinfeldt!
The judges for this bout are Dmitry Maklakov, Igor Prikhodko and Illya Tyunina.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Whoopyourasski avoids the body shot from Reinfeldt.
A jab from Whoopyourasski misses.
Whoopyourasski misses with a hook to the body
and Reinfeldt counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Reinfeldt swings for the body but Whoopyourasski moves out of range.
Whoopyourasski misses with a straight left.
Whoopyourasski connects with a body shot that sends Reinfeldt's belly button to the back.
Reinfeldt lands the left hand.
Reinfeldt throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Reinfeldt moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Whoopyourasski fakes with the hands and throws a leg kick but Reinfeldt is out of range.
Whoopyourasski throws a looping overhand right but Reinfeldt ducks down to avoid it.
Reinfeldt keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Whoopyourasski.
Whoopyourasski looks to score with a jab to the body but Reinfeldt is just out of range.
Borris Whoopyourasski is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Whoopyourasski throws a leg kick
and Reinfeldt counters with a nice body shot.
Reinfeldt throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Whoopyourasski throws a hook to the side of Reinfeldt's head but Reinfeldt sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Reinfeldt catches Whoopyourasski with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Whoopyourasski bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Whoopyourasski displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Reinfeldt throws out the jab.
Reinfeldt missing with a left hand there. Whoopyourasski was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Reinfeldt misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
Reinfeldt misses with a straight right.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Whoopyourasski comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Reinfeldt swings for the body but Whoopyourasski moves out of range.
Reinfeldt shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Whoopyourasski but Whoopyourasski pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Reinfeldt on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Reinfeldt jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Reinfeldt looks to throw the jab but Whoopyourasski is out of range.
Whoopyourasski ducks under a wild hook from Reinfeldt.
Reinfeldt misses with a straight right.
Reinfeldt tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.
Whoopyourasski defending well as Reinfeldt loads up on a big left hand.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Whoopyourasski moves into range and lands a nice leg kick.
Whoopyourasski lands a jab to the head.
Reinfeldt tries to score a power double leg takedown but Whoopyourasski sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Reinfeldt somewhat.
Borris Whoopyourasski has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Fredruk Reinfeldt.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Whoopyourasski, right into the meat.
Reinfeldt looks gassed!
Reinfeldt staying out of range there.
Reinfeldt swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Reinfeldt fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Reinfeldt misses with a hook to the body
and Whoopyourasski counters with a two punch combo.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Reinfeldt defending well as Whoopyourasski loads up on a big left hand.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A big right from Reinfeldt misses.
Reinfeldt chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Whoopyourasski can pounce on him.
Reinfeldt throws a hook to the side of Whoopyourasski's head but Whoopyourasski sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Reinfeldt takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Reinfeldt scores with a sloppy right hand. Whoopyourasski should have avoided that one.
Whoopyourasski swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Reinfeldt tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Whoopyourasski was well out of range. Poor timing from Reinfeldt.
Whoopyourasski changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Whoopyourasski misses with a low kick.
Whoopyourasski jabbing away but nothing is landing.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Borris Whoopyourasski dominated that round.
That's time! Whoopyourasski's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight.

Whoopyourasski misses with a hook. Reinfeldt ducked under it nicely.
Whoopyourasski tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Reinfeldt was well out of range. Poor timing from Whoopyourasski.
A looping hook to the body misses from Whoopyourasski. Reinfeldt does a little dance to reset his feet.
Whoopyourasski cracks a nice hook into Reinfeldt's ribs.
A swing and a miss from Reinfeldt.
Reinfeldt misses with a wild body shot.
Whoopyourasski throws a combination but it was largely blocked by Reinfeldt.
Whoopyourasski swings away with a body shot that misses
and Reinfeldt counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Reinfeldt fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Whoopyourasski turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Whoopyourasski ducks under a wild hook from Reinfeldt.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Reinfeldt throws an overhand right that lands on Whoopyourasski's shoulder, as Whoopyourasski tries to avoid the shot.
Whoopyourasski misses with a leg kick
and Reinfeldt counters with a two punch combo.
Reinfeldt slips a jab from Whoopyourasski.
Reinfeldt slips a straight right by Whoopyourasski.
A telegraphed right hand from Reinfeldt misses the target.
Borris Whoopyourasski is winning the standup battle so far.
Whoopyourasski steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Reinfeldt.
Reinfeldt closes the distance and clinches up with Whoopyourasski, looking for a takedown. Reinfeldt pushes Whoopyourasski against the cage but Whoopyourasski circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
Whoopyourasski swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Whoopyourasski lands a jab to Reinfeldt's midsection.
Reinfeldt is breathing heavily.
Whoopyourasski looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Whoopyourasski swings for the body but Reinfeldt moves out of range.
Reinfeldt has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Whoopyourasski finds it's way round the side to connect with Reinfeldt's head.

It looks like Fredruk Reinfeldt has been cut.
Reinfeldt throws a predictable looking body shot
and Whoopyourasski counters with a slapping leg kick.
Reinfeldt swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Reinfeldt defending well as Whoopyourasski loads up on a big left hand.
Reinfeldt takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Reinfeldt misses the body punch
and Whoopyourasski counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Reinfeldt thinking.
Whoopyourasski swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Whoopyourasski misses with a leg kick
and Reinfeldt makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Reinfeldt on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Reinfeldt on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Whoopyourasski lands a jab to the head.
Reinfeldt showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Whoopyourasski.
Whoopyourasski lands with a cross.
Whoopyourasski staying out of range there.
Reinfeldt is trying desperately to land a takedown but Whoopyourasski is having absolutely none of it. This is turning into a bit of a nightmare for Reinfeldt.
Whoopyourasski scores with a crisp jab that stopped Reinfeldt in his tracks.
Whoopyourasski clobbers Reinfeldt with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Both these guys seem content to just stand up and trade with eachother but Reinfeldt might want to think about changing up his gameplan a bit because over the course of the fight, Whoopyourasski has got the better of the exchanges.
Whoopyourasski lands a body shot.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Reinfeldt ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Whoopyourasski loads up on a big right hand but Reinfeldt slips the punch.
Sloppy strikes from Reinfeldt. Those never looked like landing.
Reinfeldt keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Whoopyourasski lands with a thumping leg kick.
Whoopyourasski works Reinfeldt's body with a nice hook.
An inside leg kick lands from Whoopyourasski.
Whoopyourasski connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
A thudding body kick lands there by Whoopyourasski!
Whoopyourasski lands a really nice looking cross but Reinfeldt seems unphased.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Borris Whoopyourasski dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Fredruk Reinfeldt's cut.
That's time! Back to the action! So, we enter the final round. Let's see if either fighter can bring us a finish, or whether we're going to the judges scorecards.

Whoopyourasski fakes a jab and scores with a low kick.
A nice leg kick lands there from Whoopyourasski.
Whoopyourasski chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Whoopyourasski misses with a straight right.
Whoopyourasski jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Reinfeldt takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Reinfeldt throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Whoopyourasski sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Reinfeldt missing with a left hand there. Whoopyourasski was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Reinfeldt takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Reinfeldt takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
Whoopyourasski uses good footwork to get in and out, landing a nice hook.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Whoopyourasski takes a swing at Reinfeldt's ribcage but misses.
Whoopyourasski misses with a hook.
Whoopyourasski misses with a body punch
and Reinfeldt counters with a stiff right hand.
Whoopyourasski thuds his right hand into Reinfeldt's forehead from close range. That could be painful for both fighters.
Whoopyourasski throws a solid leg kick but Reinfeldt takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Whoopyourasski.
Ouch! a nice leg kick from Whoopyourasski, right into the meat.
Reinfeldt blocks a jab.
Whoopyourasski lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
A looping hook to the body misses from Whoopyourasski. Reinfeldt does a little dance to reset his feet.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Reinfeldt takes a swing at Whoopyourasski's ribcage but misses.
Whoopyourasski cracks a nice hook into Reinfeldt's ribs.
Whoopyourasski walks into a left hand.
Whoopyourasski stooping low to avoid any incoming strikes and then lunges in with an uppercut come cross that lands flush.
Whoopyourasski catches Reinfeldt with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
Reinfeldt misses with a body shot
and Whoopyourasski counters with a left to the body.
Whoopyourasski lands with a thumping leg kick.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Reinfeldt swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and Whoopyourasski counters with a good low kick that Reinfeldt was not able to check.
Whoopyourasski comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Whoopyourasski lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Whoopyourasski throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Whoopyourasski misses with an uppercut.
Whoopyourasski connects with a hook to the side of his opponent's head.
Whoopyourasski throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Reinfeldt thows a left - swing and a miss!
Whoopyourasski lands a leg kick that knocks Reinfeldt off balance momentarily.
Reinfeldt avoids the body shot from Whoopyourasski.
A slow jab from Reinfeldt misses its intended target.
The fighters circling - Whoopyourasski throws out the jab but it was never going to land.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Whoopyourasski looks to land a left hand but Reinfeldt moved out of range nicely.
Donk. Whoopyourasski catches Reinfeldt right on the button with a cross.
Whoopyourasski connects with a solid leg kick.
Reinfeldt tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Whoopyourasski was well out of range. Poor timing from Reinfeldt.
Fredruk Reinfeldt has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Whoopyourasski throws a big shot that misses.
Reinfeldt throws a lazy right hand but Whoopyourasski sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Whoopyourasski slips under a jab from Reinfeldt.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
A jab from Reinfeldt misses.
Reinfeldt misses with an uppercut. Whoopyourasski saw that one coming.

And that's the end of the fight!
Borris Whoopyourasski showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Whoopyourasski has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Dmitry Maklakov scores the fight 30:25
Judge Igor Prikhodko scores the fight 30:26
Judge Illya Tyunina scores the fight 30:26

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Borris Whoopyourasski!