PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Richard Simmons (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Kunnollinen Tullimies (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Simmons's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, No More Pain. Tullimies has chosen Kahen kilon siika as his entrance music. Kunnollinen Tullimies has the eye of the tiger tonight.

Simmons
vs
Tullimies

190 cm
23
280 lbs
5 - 0 - 0

188 cm
28
278 lbs
14 - 6 - 0

Great wrestler
Excellent boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Decent boxing
Heavy handed

Hell's Balls Recovery

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 5 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Richard Simmons!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 6 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Kunnollinen Tullimies!
The judges for this bout are Alec Ball, Steve Smith and Ian Loll.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
A swing and a miss from Tullimies.
Simmons cracks Tullimies with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Kunnollinen Tullimies seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Simmons pulls out of a head kick attempt.
A telegraphed takedown attempt from Tullimies is defended easily by Simmons.
Tullimies on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
Simmons pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Simmons uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Tullimies.
Simmons on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Simmons misses with a straight right.
Simmons jabs Tullimies right on the nose. Tullimies blinks but takes it well.
Simmons is looking to slow Tullimies down with leg kicks.
Simmons scores with the left hand. Tullimies knows he should have avoided that one.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Simmons connects with a good right hand that stumbles Tullimies. Tullimies circles away out of range and recomposes himself.
Tullimies swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Simmons ducks under a wild hook from Tullimies.
Simmons misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Tullimies.
Simmons throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Simmons will need to tighten up his combinations if he doesn't want to gas himself out, swinging at thin air.
Tullimies just misses with a punch to the body.
Simmons lands with a head kick! That's gotta hurt.
Tullimies tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Simmons was well out of range. Poor timing from Tullimies.
Tullimies takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Simmons misses with a wild combination.
A big left from Tullimies misses.
A looping hook to the body misses from Simmons. Tullimies does a little dance to reset his feet.
A big left from Simmons misses.
The crowd cheers as Simmons lands an impressive looking overhand right. Tullimies doesn't seem phased though.
Simmons swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
A chopping leg kick lands by Simmons.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
A big left from Tullimies misses.
Simmons connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.
Tullimies looks gassed!
Simmons fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Tullimies.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simmons dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
A punch lands to the side of Tullimies 's head but he takes it in his stride.
Simmons connects with a leg kick. He turned his hip over nicely there.

Simmons instigates a clinch.
Simmons is clearly stalling here... Pick up the pace son.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Simmons.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
A right hook to the body lands for Simmons.
Simmons working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
A right hook to the body lands for Simmons.
Simmons lands a shoulder strike.
Simmons throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Simmons will no doubt start fighting again in a minute but for now he's just having a little rest, leaning Tullimies up against the cage.
Simmons lands on the inside with an uppercut.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Tullimies letting Simmons take a breather here.
Simmons lands a shoulder strike.
Simmons lands a left hand that snaps the head of Tullimies backwards.
A short right from Simmons.
Simmons is clearly stalling here... Pick up the pace son.
The ref breaks the fighters up, due to lack of action by Richard Simmons.
Simmons throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Tullimies.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
A head kick misses from Simmons.
Simmons lands a jab.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Richard Simmons dominated that round.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Simmons explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
Simmons keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab.
Simmons moves out of range as Tullimies strikes.
Tullimies throws a looping overhand right but Simmons ducks down to avoid it.
Simmons scores with a sloppy right hand. Tullimies should have avoided that one.
Simmons throws a right hand that Tullimies ducks under and follows up with a left that Tullimies also avoids with ease.
Tullimies on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
Simmons throws out a powerful jab.
Richard Simmons is winning the standup battle so far.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Tullimies needs to keep his hands up - Simmons had a free shot at his head there.
Tullimies has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Simmons.
Tullimies is breathing heavily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Simmons connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Simmons with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Tullimies chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Simmons can pounce on him.
Simmons throws a right high kick that is partially blocked by Tullimies.

It looks like Kunnollinen Tullimies has been cut.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Simmons lets loose with a powerful body kick. Tullimies will feel that in the morning.
Simmons lands with a nice body punch.
Simmons feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Tullimies's calf.
Simmons scores with a sloppy right hand. Tullimies should have avoided that one.
Simmons cracks Tullimies with a right hand to the side of the head.
Simmons scores with a head kick.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Simmons lands a leg kick that knocks Tullimies off balance momentarily.
Tullimies has his head snapped back a nice jab. A little nod from Tullimies there as he acknowledges the shot.
Tullimies doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
The crowd cheers as Simmons lands an impressive looking overhand right. Tullimies doesn't seem phased though.
Simmons swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Tullimies.
Tullimies misses with a jab to the body
and Simmons counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Simmons throws a nice looking combination but Tullimies bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Simmons jabs Tullimies right on the nose. Tullimies blinks but takes it well.
Simmons thumps Tullimies with a low kick.
Simmons scores with the left hand. Tullimies knows he should have avoided that one.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Simmons looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Simmons dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Tullimies. That did some damage!
Tullimies takes a head kick and shrugs it off.
A nice leg kick lands there from Simmons.
Simmons dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Tullimies on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Simmons. Simmons obviously looking to wear him down.
Simmons lands a head shot.

Simmons gets a clinch.
Simmons stays in close to his opponent and throws a right hand to the body.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Simmons lands a hook that snaps the head of Tullimies backwards.
A short right from Simmons on the inside.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Simmons taking a break, stalling in the clinch.
Simmons lands a hook that snaps the head of Tullimies backwards.
Simmons controlling the action here for a moment.
Simmons is pressed up against the cage. Tullimies has hold of a leg and is looking to drag Simmons down to the mat. Simmons avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance.
Simmons throws a head kick that misses.
Simmons is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Tullimies can do to turn this around?
Simmons scores with a crisp jab that stopped Tullimies in his tracks.
Tullimies has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from Simmons.
Tullimies's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Simmons throws a series of punches but Tullimies avoids them all with ease.
Simmons ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Tullimies moves away.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Simmons with a body punch. A glancing blow.
A head kick from Simmons lands but Tullimies takes it in his stride.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Richard Simmons dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Kunnollinen Tullimies's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

Tullimies walks into a straight right hand from Simmons.
Tullimies misses with a telegraphed body shot
and Simmons counters with a kick to the head that grazes his opponent. Tullimies is lucky that one didn't land flush.
Simmons jabs at Tullimies's body.
Tullimies chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Simmons can pounce on him.
Tullimies walks straight into an uppercut. Luckily it didn't land flush.
Simmons connects with the punch.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Simmons tries to clinch up but Tullimies circles away and keeps his distance.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Simmons.
Simmons wants to clinch.
Tullimies takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Tullimies takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Simmons fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Tullimies has a pretty nasty looking mouse under his right eye.
Simmons tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Tullimies paws at him with a jab and circles away.
Simmons lands an overhand left. A wild punch that just about connected.
Simmons connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Simmons throws a quick inside leg kick.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Simmons scores with a sloppy right hand. Tullimies should have avoided that one.
Richard Simmons is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Simmons with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Simmons fails in his attempt to clinch.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Simmons plants his feet and lands a nice head kick!
Tullimies swings away with a body shot that misses
and Simmons counters with a slapping leg kick.
Simmons bobs and weaves and then throws a good body kick.

Simmons forces Tullimies back against the cage and clinches.
Simmons effectively controlling the action here.
Simmons lands a hook to the side of the head.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Simmons.
Simmons working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Simmons scores with a shot to the side of Tullimies's head.
Nice body punch from Simmons - that landed with a thud.
Tullimies being controlled against the cage.
Tullimies's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Simmons is working Tullimies over against the cage.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A short right from Simmons.
Nice body punch from Simmons - that landed with a thud.
Simmons throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.
Simmons lands a hook to the side of the head.
Tullimies takes a shot to the head.
The referee calls for Simmons to work.
Simmons lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Tullimies backwards.
Nice body punch from Simmons - that landed with a thud.
A nice left hand lands by Simmons.
A short right from Simmons on the inside.
Simmons lands a nice uppercut.
A left hand lands to the body for Simmons.
A short body shot lands from Simmons as the two fighters clinch.
Simmons lands a shot to the body.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
A short right hand to the side of the head by Simmons.
Simmons dictating the pace here, as the fighters clinch against the cage.
A nice left hand lands by Simmons.
Simmons presses Tullimies against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot.
Simmons lands a body punch.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Simmons lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Simmons scores with a shot to the side of Tullimies's head.
Simmons lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.
Simmons scores with a shoulder strike.
An uppercut to the body lands inside from Simmons.
Simmons scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Simmons lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Simmons prevents a takedown attempt there.
Simmons lands a hook to the body. It's hard to tell if that hurt Tullimies or not.
Simmons pushes Tullimies back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
Simmons scores with a nice hook to the head.
Simmons lands a hook to the side of the head.
Simmons lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Tullimies backwards.
Simmons lands a body punch in the clinch.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Simmons lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Nice body punch from Simmons.
The referee is keeping an eye on Simmons - much more stalling and he will separate the fighters.
Kunnollinen Tullimies has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
A short body shot lands from Simmons as the two fighters clinch.

And that's the end of the fight!
Richard Simmons showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Simmons has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Alec Ball scores the fight 30:24
Judge Steve Smith scores the fight 30:24
Judge Ian Loll scores the fight 30:25

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Richard Simmons!