PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Marcus Monstra (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Borris Whoopyourasski (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Monstra comes into the arena with Slayer - Hate Worldwide blaring out of the sound system. Both these guys have solid standup skills and neither is particularly fantastic on the ground, so let's hope for a nice standup war!

Monstra
vs
Whoopyourasski

219 cm
27
278 lbs
17 - 4 - 0

195 cm
27
260 lbs
13 - 3 - 0

BJJ Purple Belt
World class boxer
Granite chin

Decent wrestler
Excellent boxer
Powerful

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 17 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Marcus Monstra!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 3 - 0, fighting out of St Petersburg, Borris Whoopyourasski!
The judges for this bout are Valeri Chadov, Fedor Mirinova and Illya Tyunina.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Monstra misses with a hook. Whoopyourasski ducked under it nicely.
A telegraphed right hand from Whoopyourasski misses the target.
Whoopyourasski misses with a hook.
Monstra on the wrong end of a nice jab.
Good leg kick by Whoopyourasski there. It's the ones that make that thud noise that hurt and that was an almighty thud.
Monstra throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Whoopyourasski sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Monstra misses with a double jab.
Monstra steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Whoopyourasski.
Whoopyourasski looks to throw the jab but Monstra is out of range.
Whoopyourasski looks to land a combination but Monstra avoids it well.
Monstra throws a hook but Whoopyourasski avoids it easily.
Whoopyourasski throws a body punch but Monstra moves out of range.
Whoopyourasski shakes his hands off, looking to compose himself, but takes a jab to the jaw whilst he does it.
Jab from Monstra.
Whoopyourasski throws a body punch but Monstra moves out of range.
Monstra throws a lazy right hand but Whoopyourasski sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Monstra comes forward and lands a shot to the body, then darts back out of range.
Jab from Monstra.
Whoopyourasski keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Monstra takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Monstra throws out a loose jab but Whoopyourasski uses good head movement to avoid it.
Monstra just misses with a punch to the body.
Whoopyourasski slips under a jab.
Whoopyourasski takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Monstra misses with a series of wild punches.
Monstra moving in and out of range nicely, whilst landing the scoring shot.
Marcus Monstra seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Monstra misses with a wild combination.
Whoopyourasski misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Monstra.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Whoopyourasski looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Monstra throws a big shot that misses.
Whoopyourasski misses with a hook.
Whoopyourasski thuds a mid kick into his opponent's body. That will wear on Monstra if he has to take too many more of those.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Monstra uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Whoopyourasski.
Whoopyourasski scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Monstra scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
Whoopyourasski is really struggling to land any decent head shots against his taller opponent.
Monstra throws a combination that misses
enabling Whoopyourasski to counter with a crisp jab.
Whoopyourasski avoids the body shot from Monstra.
Whoopyourasski moves away from the strike by Monstra.
Whoopyourasski slips under a jab.
Whoopyourasski takes a big uppercut there. He seems a bit wobbly but no, he's OK.
Whoopyourasski attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Monstra lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Whoopyourasski circles away quickly and effectively.
Monstra cracks Whoopyourasski with a good jab.
Whoopyourasski ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Monstra moves away.
Monstra misses the jab.
A looping hook to the body misses from Monstra. Whoopyourasski does a little dance to reset his feet.
A nice combination there by Monstra.
Whoopyourasski avoids a punch combination nicely.
Monstra throws a one two combo.
Monstra misses with a body shot
and Whoopyourasski counters with a straight right hand.
Whoopyourasski throws a body punch but Monstra moves out of range.
Monstra lands a two punch combo.
Monstra misses with a jab to the body
and Monstra takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Monstra on the wrong end of a nice jab.
A big right from Monstra misses.
Monstra avoids a kick to the body.
Monstra blocks a low kick nicely.
A jab from Whoopyourasski misses.
Monstra lands a jab to the head.
Whoopyourasski takes a swing at Monstra's ribcage but misses.
Monstra looks to land a combination but Whoopyourasski avoids it well.
Whoopyourasski throws a lazy right hand but Monstra sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Monstra misses with a double jab
and Whoopyourasski counters with an inside leg kick.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Monstra uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Whoopyourasski.
Monstra rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Whoopyourasski moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Marcus Monstra dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

A looping hook to the body misses from Monstra. Whoopyourasski does a little dance to reset his feet.
Monstra throws a nice looking combination but Whoopyourasski bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
Whoopyourasski throws a hook but Monstra blocks it.
Monstra dips to his left and cracks Whoopyourasski with an uppercut!
Monstra rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but Whoopyourasski moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Whoopyourasski dodges the punch combination from Monstra.
Whoopyourasski bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Monstra throws a jab but it's blocked by Whoopyourasski.
Whoopyourasski misses with a head kick.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
No joy there for Whoopyourasski, who threw a few shots but didn't land.
Monstra moves out of range of the strikes.
A jab from Monstra misses.
Whoopyourasski misses with a hook.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Monstra misses with a few strikes there.
A shot to the liver by Monstra. Beautiful body shot.
Whoopyourasski throws a solid leg kick but Monstra takes the impact on his shin and smiles at Whoopyourasski.
Monstra misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Monstra throws a big shot that misses.
An inside leg kick from Whoopyourasski misses.
A looping hook to the body misses from Whoopyourasski. Monstra does a little dance to reset his feet.
Whoopyourasski avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Whoopyourasski misses with a hook.
Whoopyourasski lands with a nice body punch.
Monstra lands with a right hand.
Monstra throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Monstra misses with a wild combination.
Whoopyourasski lands three nice shots there - that looked like it hurt!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Monstra doesn't react quick enough there as he takes a shot to the body.
Whoopyourasski moves out of range as Monstra strikes.
Whoopyourasski looks to score with a jab to the body but Monstra is just out of range.
Whoopyourasski cracks Monstra with a good jab.

It looks like Marcus Monstra has been cut.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Whoopyourasski punishes Monstra's body with a nice straight punch.
Monstra slips under a jab.
Whoopyourasski missing with a left hand there. Monstra was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Whoopyourasski.
Whoopyourasski throws a lazy right hand but Monstra sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Whoopyourasski misses with a double jab
and Monstra counters with a three punch combination, finished off with a leg kick. Nice work.
Whoopyourasski looks to land a left hand but Monstra moved out of range nicely.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Monstra throws a wild combination but nothing lands.
Monstra tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Whoopyourasski was well out of range. Poor timing from Monstra.
Monstra throws a right and a left that both miss.
Monstra connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Whoopyourasski throws a hook but Monstra avoids it easily.
Whoopyourasski keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Monstra.
Monstra misses with a looping right.
Monstra slips a jab and a cross from Whoopyourasski.
Whoopyourasski loads up on a big right hand but Monstra slips the punch.
Whoopyourasski lands a nice looking body shot.
Monstra misses with a straight right.
Whoopyourasski avoids the body shot from Monstra.
Marcus Monstra is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Whoopyourasski moves forwards but Monstra connects with a nice, crisp jab.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Whoopyourasski needs to keep his hands up - Monstra had a free shot at his head there.
Whoopyourasski lands a body shot.
Monstra thows a left - swing and a miss!
Whoopyourasski uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Monstra.
Whoopyourasski throws a hook to the side of Monstra's head but Monstra sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Monstra scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Whoopyourasski doesn't seem bothered though.
Marcus Monstra is winning the standup battle so far.
Whoopyourasski shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Monstra cracks Whoopyourasski with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Whoopyourasski uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Monstra.
A slow jab from Monstra misses its intended target.
The crowd applaud the fighters efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Whoopyourasski throws a leg kick which misses Monstra's front leg but catches the back leg as Monstra tries to avoid it.
Whoopyourasski takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Monstra throws a lazy right hand but Whoopyourasski sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close second round but Borris Whoopyourasski will probably get the nod - 10:9.
The cut man is working on Marcus Monstra's cut.
That's time! Monstra's corner gives him a slap on the ass as he gets ready to fight. This is the final round!

Whoopyourasski just misses with a punch to the body.
A jab from Whoopyourasski misses.
Whoopyourasski slips under a jab.
A slow jab from Monstra misses its intended target.
Monstra uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Whoopyourasski has time to react.
Whoopyourasski scores with a jab to the head.
Monstra misses with a hook.
Whoopyourasski turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Whoopyourasski tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Monstra was well out of range. Poor timing from Whoopyourasski.
Whoopyourasski tries a head kick but it misses.
Monstra looks to throw the jab but Whoopyourasski is out of range.
Monstra throws a lazy right hand but Whoopyourasski sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Whoopyourasski with a nice looking leg kick. You could hear that one land in a back row.
Monstra works the jab nicely.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Monstra misses with a straight left.
Whoopyourasski finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Whoopyourasski fakes a head punch and goes low to the body. Nicely done.
Whoopyourasski drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Whoopyourasski slips under a jab.
Monstra throws a series of punches but Whoopyourasski avoids them all with ease.
Monstra throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Monstra misses with a wild combination.
Whoopyourasski scores with a nice right hand.
Whoopyourasski misses with a series of wild punches.
A shot to the body from Whoopyourasski misses
and Monstra counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Monstra slips under a jab from Whoopyourasski.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Whoopyourasski jabbing away but nothing is landing.
Monstra throws a left and a right that both miss
and Whoopyourasski counters with a nice uppercut.
Whoopyourasski waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Monstra.
A telegraphed right hand from Monstra misses the target.
Whoopyourasski slips a jab and a cross from Monstra.
Whoopyourasski throws a head kick but Monstra moves out of range.
Monstra clobbers Whoopyourasski with an overhand right that has the crowd gasping. That made a horrendous noise.
Whoopyourasski moves out of range of the strikes.
Monstra is really head hunting here, hardly looking to strike to the body at all.
Whoopyourasski throws a left and a right that both miss
and Monstra counters with a two punch combo.
Whoopyourasski throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Monstra throws a combination. Whoopyourasski tries to block but a couple of punches get through.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Monstra takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Whoopyourasski bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A looping hook to the body misses from Whoopyourasski. Monstra does a little dance to reset his feet.
A punch combination from Whoopyourasski misses.
Monstra swings wildly with a couple of big hooks
and Monstra takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Whoopyourasski bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Whoopyourasski keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Monstra.
Monstra looks to land a right hand but Whoopyourasski moved out of range.
Monstra throws out a loose jab but Whoopyourasski uses good head movement to avoid it.
Whoopyourasski throws a wild body kick that Monstra sees coming a mile off.
Whoopyourasski uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Monstra.
Whoopyourasski lands with a cross to side of his opponent's head.
Monstra misses with a double jab
and Whoopyourasski counters with a right hand to the body.
Nice straight punches there by Monstra. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Monstra.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A jab from Whoopyourasski misses.
Nice uppercut lands for Whoopyourasski. That snapped Monstra's head back.
Monstra checks the leg kick.
A cross from Whoopyourasski lands.
Monstra looks to land a combination but Whoopyourasski avoids it well.
Whoopyourasski misses with a two punch combination.
Whoopyourasski pivots as if he's going to throw a leg kick but stops half way.
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by Whoopyourasski!
Whoopyourasski moves his head to the side to avoid a jab but walks straight into a cross.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Monstra lands a beauty of a right hand that gets the crowd cheering.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Whoopyourasski lands with an uppercut that bounces Monstra off the cage and back into rage.
Monstra misses with a looping right.
Monstra looks to land a right hand but Whoopyourasski moved out of range.

And that's the end of the fight!
Borris Whoopyourasski comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Whoopyourasski has won this one but let's see whether the judges agree with me. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Valeri Chadov scores the fight 28:29
Judge Fedor Mirinova scores the fight 28:29
Judge Illya Tyunina scores the fight 28:29

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Borris Whoopyourasski!