PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Jack Ass (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Teppo Tahkojuusto (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Tahkojuusto has chosen AC/DC : T.N.T as his entrance music. I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Teppo Tahkojuusto was going to win. Let's see if he was right.

Ass
vs
Tahkojuusto

180 cm
22
196 lbs
5 - 1 - 0

185 cm
27
186 lbs
7 - 6 - 1

Good wrestling
Solid boxing
Granite chin

BJJ Purple Belt
Counter striker
Knockout power

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 5 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Helsinki, Jack Ass!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 7 - 6 - 1, fighting out of Helsinki, Teppo Tahkojuusto!
The judges for this bout are Tarja Halkonen, Arvi Lind and Anni Minnemäki.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Ass throws a low kick but Tahkojuusto avoids it.

Ass shoots in and bounces Tahkojuusto off the cage to secure the takedown into guard.
Ass sitting in guard, not really doing much.
Tahkojuusto wants to stand and escape but Ass is having none of it.
Tahkojuusto has control of Ass's left arm, preventing Ass from doing any damage.
Ass preventing the sweep.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

Ass avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Ass slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Tahkojuusto wants to sweep here but Ass controlling him for the moment.
Ass prevents Tahkojuusto from getting back to his feet.
Ass lands a couple of elbows.
Ass stopping the sweep attempt from Tahkojuusto.

Tahkojuusto escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Ass gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
Tahkojuusto wants to sweep here but Ass controlling him for the moment.
Ass stays in close to Tahkojuusto's body and controls the position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are starting to boo a lack of action.
Tahkojuusto working a defensive guard but Ass manages to pass into side control anyway.
Tahkojuusto taking a bit of punishment here - Ass scoring with strikes.
Ass remains in side control and seems content to stay there. It's a versatile position from which he can work both strikes and submissions, whilst maintaining that control, so maybe he'll sit here for a while.
Tahkojuusto sneaks back into half guard.
Ass is figuring out what he wants to do next.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Tahkojuusto wants to get back to his feet.
Ass trying to control the action but Tahkojuusto is working from the bottom.
Ass with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up, due to lack of activity on the part of Jack Ass.
Ass lands a jab, followed by a cross and another cross, as Tahkojuusto backs up against the cage.
The fight stays on the outside here - Tahkojuusto looks like he's thinking about clinching though.

Tahkojuusto gets caught flat footed, as Ass shoots in with a quick takedown into guard.
Ass controls from within his opponent's guard.
Tahkojuusto preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Tahkojuusto is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.
Tahkojuusto stops Ass from getting back to his feet.
Tahkojuusto is trying to control the action in half guard but Ass is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Tahkojuusto prevents Ass from improving his position.
Tahkojuusto is looking to stall here but Ass recovers full guard.
Ass lands a beautiful switch and he's in full mount! That could spell trouble for Tahkojuusto!
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Jack Ass dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Ass fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Ass throws a right and a left that both miss.

Ass is looking for a takedown here. He's shot in and has managed to get it, finishing up in Tahkojuusto's half guard.
Ass drops an elbow to the side of Tahkojuusto's head.
Ass performing his best blanket impression for a moment.
Tahkojuusto gets back to full guard.
Ass prevents Tahkojuusto from getting back to his feet.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Ass is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
Ass has controlled the position for a good 20 seconds, which will no doubt be starting to frustrate his opponent.

Tahkojuusto has his foot on Ass's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Ass works his way back into a safe position though.
Ass trying to control the position from guard on top but Tahkojuusto is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Ass content to stall in guard here.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up, due to lack of activity on the part of Jack Ass.
A combination from Ass does no damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Tahkojuusto dodges the punch combination from Ass.
Tahkojuusto takes a punch right to his stomach. That took the wind out of him momentarily.
A combination from Ass does no damage.

Ass feints and then dives in with a takedown. That was a long way out but the feint bought him enough time to close the distance and complete the takedown. Now we'll play guard for a bit and see who can get the better of that position.
Ass trying to control the position from guard on top but Tahkojuusto is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Ass looking to pass the guard.
Ass content to stall in guard here.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Ass with a flurry of punches that miss.
Ass won't allow Tahkojuusto to sweep him here.

Neither fighter is doing enough for the referee's liking and he's decided to stand them back up.
Ass dips down and scores with a jab to the body.
Ass looks to land a combination. Tahkojuusto sees it coming but can only parry a couple of the shots.
Tahkojuusto dodges the punch combination from Ass.
Ass throws a series of strikes that have Tahkojuusto backpedaling.
Tahkojuusto takes a really solid shot there but just smiles back and shrugs his shoulders.
Tahkojuusto shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as Ass sprawls well. Ass wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Tahkojuusto gets slowly back to his feet.
Ass scores with a three punch combo!

Ass shoots in and gets a takedown into half guard. Ass showed some decent athleticism there.
Ass working over Tahkojuusto with some ground and pound. Tahkojuusto looks like he wants out of this position, which is understandable.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Ass prevents Tahkojuusto from improving his position.
Ass scores with a couple of good hammerfists.
Ass stops Tahkojuusto from getting back to his feet.
Ass is taking a breather. Tahkojuusto says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Jack Ass dominated that second round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!

Ass throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
A nice combination there by Ass.
Tahkojuusto tries to clinch there but Ass circles away.
Ass connects with a body shot.
Ass ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Ass closes the distance and lands a one-two.
Ass tries to bum rush Tahkojuusto with a series of wild strikes but Tahkojuusto uses good footwork to avoid the assault.
A shot to the liver by Ass. Beautiful body shot.
Ass misses with a few strikes there.
Tahkojuusto misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
Ass thows a body shot but no joy.
Oooooooooooh, not good. A low kick from Tahkojuusto lands where it shouldn't have, right in the... well, you know what he did? He kicked him in the penis. He's injured, injured bad. The referee sends both fighters to their corners and Ass has 5 minutes to recover. He's OK now though... a thumbs up from Ass and we're back underway with a touch of gloves.
Jack Ass is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Tahkojuusto keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Tahkojuusto drops his hands momentarily and Ass takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
Tahkojuusto showing good head movement there, avoiding the strikes from Ass.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Ass fakes a jab and throws a low kick but Tahkojuusto checks it well.
Tahkojuusto takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Ass connects with a right hand. Tahkojuusto shakes it off.
Ass misses with a double jab.
Tahkojuusto with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Ass to score with a decent uppercut.
Tahkojuusto walks into a left hand.
Ass scores with a shot to the body.

Ass darts in and lands a nice takedown into half guard.
Ass moves nicely into side control.
Tahkojuusto is trying to get back to half guard.
Ass wants to lay and pray for a moment but Tahkojuusto keeps working.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Ass thinks about going for a far side armbar but bails out and retains the dominant position instead.
Tahkojuusto gets back to half guard.

Tahkojuusto looking for submissions off his back.
Tahkojuusto takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Ass keeping composed on the top, looking to control the action.
Tahkojuusto wants to get back to full guard but Ass has mounted him!
Jack Ass overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Ass sitting in mount, just looking to control for the moment.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Ass connects with a couple of good shots from mount.
Tahkojuusto is wriggling around trying to escape.
Tahkojuusto sneaks a leg under to get to half guard.
Tahkojuusto is trying to control but can't.
Tahkojuusto is trying to avoid being dragged into an even worse position than he's already in but Ass is staying active.
Ass looks to score some points with some ground and pound.
Ass is taking a breather. Tahkojuusto says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Ass trying to pass the guard but Tahkojuusto defending well.
Jack Ass is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Tahkojuusto is trying to stand.
Tahkojuusto is looking to improve his position.
Tahkojuusto on the receiving end of some nice ground and pound.
Ass controlling the action here.
Ass prevents Tahkojuusto from standing back up.
Teppo Tahkojuusto has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Tahkojuusto misses with some strikes from the bottom.
Tahkojuusto is looking for a sweep. Ass is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.

The referee has ruled that neither fighter is active enough on the ground and has stood them back up.
Ass scores with a jab to the jaw.

And that's the end of the fight!
Jack Ass showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Ass has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Tarja Halkonen scores the fight 30:27
Judge Arvi Lind scores the fight 30:27
Judge Anni Minnemäki scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Jack Ass!