PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Yokuzuna Rikishi (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Chooooooooon! I think Cartman might be my favorite fighter, now he's come out to Kyle's Mom a B!^(H. Eric Cartman has the edge in experience - let's see if he can make that count tonight.

Cartman
vs
Rikishi

200 cm
22
300 lbs
8 - 2 - 0

194 cm
24
300 lbs
3 - 2 - 0

Decent wrestler
World class boxer
Very strong

Good wrestler
Counter striker
Granite chin

Demonic Drugs

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 8 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Eric Cartman!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Yokuzuna Rikishi!
The judges for this bout are Yukihiro Yamamoto, Shirou Masuda and Sosuke Kotani.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Rikishi displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Cartman throws out the jab.
Cartman swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Cartman throws out a loose jab but Rikishi uses good head movement to avoid it.
Cartman displays good takedown defense there as he swats away a double leg from Rikishi.
Cartman fails to land with a series of punches.
Rikishi slips under a jab from Cartman.
Rikishi gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Cartman throws a jab when Rikishi was well out of range.
Cartman cracks Rikishi with an open hand slap.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Rikishi uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Cartman.
Rikishi ducks under a wild hook from Cartman.
Cartman misses with a looping right.
Rikishi slips a jab and a cross from Cartman.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Cartman connects with a crisp jab.

It looks like Yokuzuna Rikishi has been cut.
Cartman throws a right hand that Rikishi ducks under and follows up with a left that Rikishi also avoids with ease.
Cartman swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Rikishi.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Rikishi displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Cartman throws out the jab.

Cartman lands a big uppercut and Rikishi crumbles to the floor! The ref thinks about stopping the fight but Rikishi looks OK. Cartman waves Rikishi back to his feet!
Cartman connects with a single shot there.
Cartman closes the distance and lands a brutal uppercut that knocks Rikishi out! We're looking at the replay now - he was out before he hit the floor!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:40 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Eric Cartman!