PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Lt Parrotface (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Patrick Van Halen (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Lt Parrotface could well score a knockout today. He has the power to get to Patrick Van Halen's chin.

Parrotface
vs
Van Halen

190 cm
23
173 lbs
1 - 1 - 0

177 cm
22
179 lbs
0 - 0 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Decent elbows
Good chin

BJJ Purple Belt
Decent boxing
Determined

Richards' Remedies

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 1 - 1 - 0, fighting out of London, Lt Parrotface!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 0 - 0, fighting out of London, Patrick Van Halen!
The judges for this bout are James Atkins, Sam Margolis and Colin Fotheringham.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Parrotface fakes the leg kick and cracks Van Halen in the body.

Parrotface rushes Van Halen and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Van Halen tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
Come on Parrotface - let's have some action - none of this stalling nonsense.
Van Halen takes a knee to the side of the body.
A nice right hand lands inside from Parrotface.
Parrotface lands with a short punch from the clinch.
Van Halen tries to score a body lock takedown but Parrotface shows good agility there to stay on his feet.
Parrotface leaning his opponent against the cage.
Parrotface lands a body shot in the clinch.
Van Halen wants a takedown.
Lt Parrotface has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Patrick Van Halen.
Parrotface lands a damaging elbow.
Van Halen is trying to drag Parrotface to the mat but Parrotface just about manages to keep his footing. He used the cage to his advantage there.
Van Halen has a body lock and is looking for a takedown. Parrotface is bouncing around trying to prevent the takedown and somehow he has indeed managed to stay on his feet.
Van Halen looks gassed!
Parrotface is stalling here. The referee will be looking to step in if he doesn't pick up the pace.
Van Halen drops down looking for an ankle pick but Parrotface pulls his leg out and moves away.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Van Halen chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Parrotface can pounce on him.
Crunch! Parrotface slams his shin into Van Halen's torso.
Parrotface scores with a spinning back kick!

Van Halen tries to keep at a distance but Parrotface has taken the fight into the clinch.
Parrotface lands an elbow inside that Van Halen shrugs off.
A nice right hand lands inside from Parrotface.
Van Halen wants a takedown.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Parrotface.
Parrotface digs a right hand underneath Van Halen's ribcage. Van Halen let out a lung full of air as it connected.
Parrotface lands with a short head shot on the inside.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Parrotface landing knees to the body.
Parrotface unloads a knee to the mid-section.
Parrotface taking a break, stalling in the clinch.
Parrotface comes over the top with an elbow. That landed flush.
Parrotface manages to get underhooks and slows down the pace for a moment.
Van Halen tries for a takedown but Parrotface manages to get underhooks.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Parrotface lands a nice knee to the body.
Parrotface with the Thai clinch, lands a knee to the head.
The pace slowing considerably in the clinch, as Parrotface takes a break from that fighting nonsense to think about the finer things in life.
Parrotface is leaning against Van Halen and scores with a nice uppercut to the body.
Van Halen is looking for a takedown up against the cage. Parrotface gets underhooks though and prevents the takedown attempt.
Parrotface lands a body punch in the clinch.
Parrotface lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Van Halen is trying to work for a single leg takedown but Parrotface pulls him back up using the underhooks.
Parrotface using the Thai clinch to land knees to the body.
Good body shot from Parrotface.
Parrotface crunches a lovely knee into Van Halen's ribcage.
Parrotface throws a hook to the body. More of an arm punch but it's all scoring with the judges.

Parrotface manages to break the clinch.
Van Halen closes the distance and clinches up with Parrotface, looking for a takedown. Van Halen pushes Parrotface against the cage but Parrotface circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
Parrotface misses with a jab, cross combination.

The fight moves into the clinch position.
Parrotface gets underhooks to prevent Van Halen's takedown attempt.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Van Halen drops down for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Parrotface lands a nice shot to the body.
Parrotface pushes Van Halen back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Parrotface is pressed up against the cage. Van Halen has hold of a leg and is looking to drag Parrotface down to the mat. Parrotface avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance.
Parrotface thuds a mid kick into his opponent's body. That will wear on Van Halen if he has to take too many more of those.
Parrotface looks to land a combination. Van Halen sees it coming but can only parry a couple of the shots.
Van Halen takes a kick to the side of the head.
Parrotface misses with a series of wild punches.

Parrotface moves into the clinch successfully.
Van Halen tries for a takedown. No joy.
Nice body punch from Parrotface.
Parrotface lands a nice elbow from the clinch.
Parrotface taking a break, stalling in the clinch.
Van Halen tries to circle away but Parrotface has him pinned against the cage.
A left hand lands to the body for Parrotface.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A knee to the head by Parrotface.
Van Halen tries to stall but Parrotface uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Parrotface scores with a hook to the body.
The two fighters are working to gain dominance in the clinch.
Van Halen drops to a knee looking for a takedown but Parrotface gets the underhooks and prevents it.
Van Halen wants a takedown but no success here.
Van Halen tries for a takedown but Parrotface manages to get underhooks.

Parrotface manages to break the clinch.
Van Halen falls off balance throwing a combination
and Parrotface counters with a two punch combo.
Van Halen shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Parrotface pinned against the cage. Parrotface gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.

Parrotface darts in and clinches Van Halen up against the cage.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Van Halen throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Van Halen goes for a takedown attempt but Parrotface pushes him away and we're back to fighting at a distance.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Lt Parrotface dominated that round.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action.

Parrotface gets in close and instigates a clinch.
Van Halen tries to score a body lock takedown but Parrotface shows good agility there to stay on his feet.
Parrotface prevents a takedown attempt there.
Parrotface lands an elbow that stopped Van Halen in his tracks for a moment.
A bit of stalling here from Parrotface.
Parrotface is pressed up against the cage. Van Halen has hold of a leg and is looking to drag Parrotface down to the mat. Parrotface avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance.
Lt Parrotface has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Patrick Van Halen.
Van Halen tries to clinch up but Parrotface circles away and keeps his distance.

Parrotface closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.
Van Halen looking for a takedown.
The referee calls for Parrotface to work.
Parrotface working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Parrotface is stalling here.
Parrotface is trying to wear down his opponent with knees to the body.
Parrotface scores with a shoulder strike.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A nice right hand lands inside from Parrotface.
Van Halen looking for a takedown.
Parrotface has Van Halen pressed against the cage.
Van Halen changes levels and goes for a takedown here. Parrotface fights it off and pushes away nicely.
Parrotface turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Van Halen tries to clinch but Parrotface moves out of range.
Lt Parrotface is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.
Parrotface lands a front kick.

Parrotface moves into the clinch.

Parrotface breaks the clinch.
Van Halen shoots in for a takedown but Parrotface shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.

Parrotface instigates a clinch.
Parrotface leaning against his opponent.
Van Halen tries for a takedown but Parrotface manages to get underhooks.
Van Halen is working for takedown but Parrotface is calmly controlling the position for now.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The referee calls for Parrotface to work.
Parrotface keeps the fight in the clinch, despite Van Halen's efforts to push away.
Van Halen jumps guard but Parrotface stands there with Van Halen around his waist. Van Halen gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
Parrotface gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Van Halen fails to pull guard.
Van Halen blocks the elbow strike.
Parrotface lands a shot to the body.
Van Halen has hold of a leg and is looking for a trip takedown. Parrotface avoids it nicely though and we remain in the clinch.
Parrotface prevents a takedown attempt there.
Parrotface stalling in the clinch.
Van Halen wants a takedown.
Parrotface is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Van Halen can do to turn this around?
Van Halen wants a takedown.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Van Halen is trying to drag Parrotface to the mat but Parrotface just about manages to keep his footing. He used the cage to his advantage there.
A short right from Parrotface on the inside.
Van Halen tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Parrotface just stands there and leans against the cage.
An uppercut on the inside fails to land for Parrotface.
Parrotface misses with some punches.
Van Halen looking for a takedown.
A short uppercut from Parrotface.

Van Halen gets double underhooks and manages to take the fight to the ground.

Van Halen is holding a leg here, probably looking for an ankle lock - he drops back and goes for it! Parrotface is in trouble! Is it all over??? No! Parrotface has escaped and now he's on top!
Van Halen wants to stand but Parrotface is controlling the position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Parrotface wants to stand but Van Halen is controlling his posture from full guard.
Parrotface won't allow Van Halen to get back to his feet.
Van Halen bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Parrotface's guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Lt Parrotface dominated that second round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action! This is the final round!

Van Halen is trying hard to land a takedown here. Parrotface sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
Van Halen avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Van Halen fails with an attempt to clinch.
Lt Parrotface seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Parrotface misses with the combination.
Parrotface displays good takedown defense there as he swats away a double leg from Van Halen.
Van Halen shoots in for a takedown but Parrotface shows good takedown defense.
Lt Parrotface has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Patrick Van Halen.
Parrotface lands with a kick to the ribs.
Parrotface throws a one two combo.
Parrotface scores to the head and body with a nice combination!

Parrotface has closed the distance and engaged Van Halen in a clinch.
Parrotface gets underhooks to prevent Van Halen's takedown attempt.
Parrotface holding his opponent close, against the cage.
Van Halen is trying to work for a single leg takedown but Parrotface pulls him back up using the underhooks.
Parrotface scores a nice knee to the body.
Van Halen tries for a takedown but Parrotface manages to get underhooks.
Both fighters are breathing heavily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Parrotface stalling here - the referee won't stand for too much of that.
Van Halen has Parrotface pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Parrotface manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.
A bit of stalling here from Parrotface.
Parrotface lands a damaging elbow.
Van Halen tries to pull guard but Parrotface won't allow it.
Van Halen drops down looking for an ankle pick but Parrotface pulls his leg out and moves away.
Van Halen takes a head kick and shrugs it off.
Van Halen keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Van Halen tries to clinch up
and Parrotface counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Wow, both these guys are really going for it!
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Van Halen.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Van Halen has a takedown stuffed.
Van Halen fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Parrotface moves into range and lands a nice body kick.

Parrotface takes the fight into the clinch.
Parrotface just leaning against Van Halen, taking a breather.
Van Halen is trying to work for a single leg takedown but Parrotface pulls him back up using the underhooks.
Parrotface has Van Halen pushed against the cage.
Van Halen tries for a takedown but Parrotface manages to get underhooks.
Parrotface is pushing Van Halen up against the cage, for a bit of lean and pray action. Action being used the in the loosest possible sense of the word.
Parrotface avoiding damage as Van Halen throws knees to the body.
Parrotface gets underhooks to prevent Van Halen's takedown attempt.
Parrotface lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Van Halen backwards.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Van Halen takes an elbow to the temple.
A battle for position here, against the cage.
Van Halen has developed a nice purple lump on his ribcage, as a result of some heavy body kicks from Parrotface.
Parrotface stalling the fight.
Van Halen is looking for a takedown up against the cage. Parrotface gets underhooks though and prevents the takedown attempt.
Parrotface will no doubt start fighting again in a minute but for now he's just having a little rest, leaning Van Halen up against the cage.
Parrotface trying to land knees to the body.
Van Halen avoids the elbow strike from Parrotface, against the cage.
Parrotface stops a takedown attempt from Van Halen.

Parrotface pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Van Halen with a poor takedown

and Parrotface counters by moving into the clinch.
Parrotface stalling against the cage.
Parrotface is trying to maintain a safe position but Van Halen gets an underhook and turns Parrotface into the cage.
Patrick Van Halen has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Parrotface lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Lt Parrotface is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Van Halen goes for a takedown attempt but Parrotface pushes him away and we're back to fighting at a distance.
Lt Parrotface is winning the standup battle so far.
Van Halen shoots in for a takedown. He's persisting with it as Parrotface sprawls well. Parrotface wins this battle and keeps the fight standing. Van Halen gets slowly back to his feet.

Van Halen tries to keep at a distance but Parrotface has taken the fight into the clinch.
Parrotface is pressed up against the cage. Van Halen has hold of a leg and is looking to drag Parrotface down to the mat. Parrotface avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance.

Parrotface has taken the fight to the clinch.
Parrotface effectively controlling the action here.
Van Halen goes for a takedown in the clinch but Parrotface prevents it.
Come on Parrotface - let's have some action - none of this stalling nonsense.
Van Halen tries to pull guard but Parrotface holds him up against the cage and eventually Van Halen drops back down to his feet.
Van Halen tries a body shot but Parrotface blocks it.

And that's the end of the fight!
Lt Parrotface showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Parrotface, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge James Atkins scores the fight 30:26
Judge Sam Margolis scores the fight 30:26
Judge Colin Fotheringham scores the fight 30:26

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Lt Parrotface!