PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Dave Bautista (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cartman comes to the cage accompanied by Kyle's Mom a B!^(H. Bautista has chosen Amazing by Kanye West as his entrance music. Dave Bautista has the eye of the tiger tonight.

Cartman
vs
Bautista

200 cm
19
300 lbs
3 - 0 - 0

197 cm
23
290 lbs
1 - 2 - 0

BJJ White Belt
Great elbows
Very strong

BJJ Blue Belt
Brawler
Tends to cut

Demonic Drugs

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Eric Cartman!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 1 - 2 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Dave Bautista!
The judges for this bout are Timothy Bukovac, and .

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Bautista avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Cartman blocks a jab.

Bautista fakes an overhand right and shoots for a takedown. Cartman sprawls well initially but Bautista persists and gets the takedown into half guard.

Bautista is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Cartman sees it coming and defends easily.
Cartman wants to get back to his feet.
Bautista wants to free his trapped foot but Cartman is holding on for dear life with his legs.

Bautista looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.

Bautista is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Cartman doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time Bautista.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Bautista is working for submissions here but there's nothing on.

Bautista is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.
Cartman wants to get back to his feet.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Cartman cracks Bautista with an uppercut from hell and Bautista crumples to the canvas, he's out! Oh no, he's recovered and he's grabbed one of Cartman's legs and pulled him into guard. The ref thought about stopping it there but he's let it go - good reffing!

It looks like Dave Bautista has been cut.
Bautista looks gassed!
Cartman has decided he wants to stand but the closed guard of Bautista is proving hard to escape from.

Bautista had isolated an arm as going for an omaplata. Cartman is defending the submission well but is in a very vulnerable position. Bautista Is leaning forward trying to finish the omaplata but decides to abandon it, and take Cartman's back instead.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman controlling the position well but he knows he's in a bad position.

Bautista is working for the rear naked choke. He has one arm under the chin but Cartman has hold of the other arm. A bit of a stalemate here.
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
Bautista is not going to allow Cartman to sit and survive in this position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Bautista working for the choke.
Cartman controlling his opponent's hands, preventing the submission attempt.
Cartman tries to escape the position - he's now mounted. Is that better or worse? Hard to tell!

Bautista goes for an armbar but he's fallen flat on his backside there and now Cartman is on top in guard.

Bautista is working an open guard so Cartman takes the opportunity to get back to his feet.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Bautista on the side of the head.
Nice body punch from Cartman.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Cartman connects with a nice cross there... Bautista is looking wobbly and Cartman recognises it - he's rushed in and lands two more brutal shots that send Bautista to the canvas, out cold! A brutal finish to the fight - Cartman jumps onto the cage to celebrate with the crowd!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:20 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punches). Eric Cartman!
Eric Cartman retains his super heavyweight title!