PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Massive Wanker (ranked 67 p4p, 312 weight class) and Doug Slugs (ranked 5 p4p, 11 weight class). The key to victory for Massive Wanker has got to be keeping the fight on the feet.

Wanker
vs
Slugs

225 cm
24
294
12 - 0 - 0

182 cm
30
300
13 - 2 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
Dangerous knees
Granite chin

Urban Fighter
Brooklyn Apothecary

Core Combat
Shadow-Battle Clothing

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, for the super heavyweight championship of the world!
Introducing the champion to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 12 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Massive Wanker!
And introducing the challenger to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 2 - 0, fighting out of New York, Doug Slugs!
The judges for this bout are Steve Montenegro, John Kavanagh and Jonathan Paton.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!

Slugs rushes Wanker and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
Wanker lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
Wanker working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
Slugs lands a nice elbow.

It looks like Massive Wanker has been cut.
With the fighters up against the cage, Slugs throws an elbow but misses.
Wanker lands a left hand that snaps the head of Slugs backwards.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Slugs.
Wanker definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Wanker scores with a shot to the side of Slugs's head.
Slugs with the Thai clinch. He's looking to land a big knee but he's not managed it this time.
Wanker avoids the elbow strike from Slugs, against the cage.
Slugs gets an overhook and lands an elbow to the side of the head.
Slugs utilising his Muay Thai to score with a knee to the body.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Slugs misses with a knee to the head.
Wanker is trying to pull guard but Slugs turns him against the cage and we stay in the clinch.
Wanker is trying to pull guard but Slugs turns him against the cage and we stay in the clinch.
Wanker scores with a shoulder strike.
Wanker fails to pull the fight into his guard.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Massive Wanker. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Slugs prevents Wanker from breaking the clinch.
Slugs misses with an elbow over the top.
Slugs is clearly stalling here... Pick up the pace son.
Wanker on the defensive, avoiding the knees to the body.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slugs misses with an elbow strike.
Wanker blocks an elbow strike.
Wanker digs a right hand into Slugs's ribs. Those have got to be taking their toll on Slugs's gas tank.
Wanker lands a right hand that snaps the head of Slugs backwards.
Wanker tries to pull guard but can't drag his opponent to the mat. Slugs just stands there and leans against the cage.
Slugs misses with a knee strike.
Slugs throws an elbow but it's blocked.
Wanker scores with a shot to the side of Slugs's head.
A nice left hand lands by Wanker.
With the fighters up against the cage, Slugs throws an elbow but misses.
Wanker lands with a light punch inside.
Wanker tries to pull guard but Slugs forces him back to his feet, against the cage.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Wanker.
Wanker jumps guard but Slugs turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.

Wanker manages to pull guard. Let's see whether he can land a sub off his back.
Slugs working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Slugs throws a big right hand that misses.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Wanker working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Slugs.

Slugs avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Wanker will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wanker preventing the ground and pound from doing any damage.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

Slugs avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Slugs preventing the sweep.
Wanker is trying to keep Slugs in close.
Wanker working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Slugs.
Wanker pulls Slugs in close to prevent any damage.
Slugs loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Wanker utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Slugs working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Wanker looking to hit a scissor sweep but Slugs is one step ahead there.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Slugs landing some decent shots from guard.
Slugs would like to get this fight back to the feet but can't get free from the closed guard.
Wanker manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Slugs manages to get himself to full guard.

Slugs looking to control.
Wanker pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Slugs is keeping the position for now.
Wanker is working hard here to advance position.
Slugs looking to sweep here. No luck so far.

Wanker avoids a guillotine attempt easily.

Slugs working for a triangle but Wanker defends it easily.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Wanker trying to control but Slugs is working from the bottom.
Wanker is really struggling to control Slugs but he's trying to hold on to the position.
Wanker advances to half guard.

Wanker is looking for a kimura but Slugs is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Wanker to get the leverage.
Slugs moves into full guard.

Slugs is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Wanker is aware though and is defending well.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Slugs wants to stand but Wanker is controlling the position.
Slugs looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Massive Wanker will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Massive Wanker's cut.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Wanker throws a body punch but Slugs moves out of range.
Doug Slugs seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Slugs on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
Slugs wants to clinch
and Wanker counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Slugs tries to clinch but Wanker moves out of range.
Slugs takes an uppercut right on the jaw but it doesn't phase him.
Wanker circles away from the clinch attempt.
Slugs wants to clinch up but Wanker keeps it at a distance.
Wanker swung with a counter punch to the body but it didn't connect.
Slugs is looking to take this fight into the clinch.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Slugs throws a right hand that misses
and Wanker counters with a stiff right hand.
Wanker is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Slugs can do to turn this around?
The fight stays on the outside here - Slugs looks like he's thinking about clinching though.
Wanker connects with a nice looking jab.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slugs avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Slugs wants to counter with a clinch but Wanker pushes him away.
Wanker looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
The fighters circling - Wanker throws out the jab but it was never going to land.

Slugs has taken the fight to the clinch.
Slugs lands a good knee to the midsection. Wanker won't want to take too many of those.
Both fighters are absolutely exhausted here.
Wanker blocks an elbow strike.
Wanker avoids the elbow strike from Slugs, against the cage.
Slugs throws an elbow but it misses.
Wanker jumps guard but Slugs turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.
A nice glancing elbow lands by Slugs.
Slugs landing knees to the body. They look like they could hurt.
Doug Slugs seems to be working more effectively in the clinch in the fight so far.
Slugs misses with a knee to the head.
Wanker is using his height advantage well here, landing a good percentage of his punches.
Slugs pushes off an throws an elbow but Wanker leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Slugs misses with an elbow strike.
Slugs creates a bit of space for himself and sneaks an elbow through Wanker's defenses.
Slugs tries a knee to the head but Wanker blocks it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Wanker blocks an elbow strike.
Wanker jumps guard but Slugs turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.
Slugs landing knees to the body. They look like they could hurt.
Slugs misses with a knee strike.
Slugs landing knees to the body.
Slugs throws an elbow that misses.
Slugs throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Slugs looking to throw knees to the head but Wanker is blocking nicely.
Wanker tries to pull guard but Slugs won't allow it.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Massive Wanker. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Slugs lands a knee to the head there! That was nasty!
Wanker avoids the elbow strike from Slugs, against the cage.
Slugs tries to land a knee to the head but Wanker blocks with his arms.
Slugs tries to land knees in the clinch but Wanker avoids the damage to the body.
Slugs throws an elbow that misses.
Wanker has a couple of punches blocked by Slugs.
Slugs lands a nice elbow.
Slugs lands an elbow just above Wanker 's eye.
Slugs lands a glancing elbow in the clinch.
Slugs landing knees to the body. They look like they could hurt.
Wanker tries to jump guard but he falls flat on his backside. Slugs smiles and moves away.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Some wild striking there from Slugs.
Wanker misses with a looping right.
Wanker throws a jab when Slugs was well out of range.

Slugs moves into the clinch successfully.
Wanker jumps guard but Slugs turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing.
A head punch on the inside from Wanker fails to land.
Slugs throws a knee to the head but misses.
Slugs misses with an elbow strike.
Wanker avoids the elbow strike from Slugs, against the cage.
Slugs missing with knees to the body.
Slugs lands a knee to the head there! That was nasty!
Wanker pushes Slugs back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.

Wanker breaks the clinch.
Slugs walks forward and throws out a flicking leg kick. Wanker checks it nicely though, as he moves to the side.

Slugs moves into the clinch successfully.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Wanker tries to pull guard but Slugs won't allow it.
Wanker can't break the clinch.
Wanker blocks an elbow strike from Slugs.

Wanker pulls guard effortlessly.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Slugs throwing strikes from guard but Wanker blocks nicely.
Slugs throwing strikes from guard but Wanker blocks nicely.
Slugs must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.
Slugs working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Wanker working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Slugs.
Slugs wants to stand but Wanker has a closed guard, so he can't escape.
Slugs working from the guard for now, landing some ground and pound.
Slugs is looking to work some ground and pound but Wanker has wrist control.
Slugs throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Doug Slugs showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Massive Wanker's cut.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Slugs tries to clinch there but Wanker circles away.
Slugs tries to clinch but Wanker is having none of it.
Slugs moves to clinch but Wanker breaks away
and Wanker counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Wanker connects with a lovely right hand, straight down the pipe.
Slugs throws a hook to the side of Wanker's head but Wanker sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Slugs doesn't manage to clinch there - Wanker circles away.
Slugs tries to clinch up but Wanker circles away and keeps his distance.
An attempted straight right counter from Wanker misses the target.
Slugs tries to clinch up.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Slugs moves out of range of the strikes.
Wanker avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Slugs tries to clinch up but Wanker circles away and keeps his distance.
Slugs misses with a hook.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Wanker throws a jab but it's blocked by Slugs.
Wanker lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Slugs ducks under a wild hook from Wanker.

Slugs has closed the distance and engaged Wanker in a clinch.
Wanker tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.
With the fighters up against the cage, Slugs throws an elbow but misses.
Slugs is looking to score with knees to the body. Maybe he'll change it up and go body then head. Wanker is defending well for now.
Slugs lands an elbow inside.
Slugs looking to throw knees to the head but Wanker is blocking nicely.

Wanker's corner calls for him to break the clinch, which he does.
Slugs fails in his attempt to clinch.
Slugs closes the distance looking to clinch
and Wanker counters with a stiff right hand.
Wanker uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Slugs has time to react.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wanker is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.

Slugs has managed to clinch.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
With the fighters up against the cage, Slugs throws an elbow but misses.
Wanker lands a left hand.
Wanker blocks an elbow strike.
Wanker pushes Slugs back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Wanker managing to block the knees to the body from Slugs.
Slugs landing knees to the head.
Slugs missing with knees to the body.
Wanker avoids a wild elbow strike from Slugs.
Wanker avoids the elbow strike from Slugs, against the cage.
Wanker gets through Slugs's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
Wanker blocks an elbow strike from Slugs.

Wanker pulls guard effortlessly.
Wanker wants to sweep but no luck.
Slugs throws an elbow that misses. Wanker uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Slugs's guard. Nice move by Wanker!

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Wanker slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.
Wanker controls the position from side control.
Wanker prevents Slugs from escaping the position.
Wanker working away.

Wanker tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no Wanker has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!

Wanker looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything.
Slugs is trying to control Wanker's posture but Wanker avoids it.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Slugs manages to get back to half guard.
Slugs felt the need to train up his defensive grappling in the buildup to the fight. Presumably he was expecting to be in a difficult position like this, so let's see if he can get out of it.
Slugs tries to roll over but Wanker keeps him under control.
Slugs trying to control here.
Slugs is looking to escape.
Wanker tries to pass to full mount but Slugs defends it.
Slugs wants to improve his position but Wanker is controlling well.

Slugs actively working from the bottom here.
Slugs takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Wanker is controlling the pace.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Massive Wanker clearly takes that round.
The cut man is working on Massive Wanker's cut.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

Slugs gets a clinch.
Wanker works on Slugs's body with a couple of short punches.
Wanker lands an uppercut.
Wanker lands a hook to the side of the head.
Wanker lands a hook to the side of the head.

Wanker pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Wanker connects with a right hand. Slugs shakes it off.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Slugs slips a jab from Wanker.
Slugs wants to counter the offense by Wanker and move into the clinch position.
Massive Wanker is winning the standup battle so far.
Slugs is absolutely dripping with sweat - he looks exhausted.
Wanker circles away from the clinch attempt
and Wanker counters with a straight right hand.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Slugs has his hands up protecting his head but a hook from Wanker finds it's way round the side to connect with Slugs's head.
Slugs tries to clinch but Wanker moves out of range.
Slugs moves away from the strike by Wanker.

Slugs has Wanker up against the cage in a clinch.
Slugs is trying to slow down the pace in the clinch, to catch his breath.
Wanker working some nice short punches in the clinch.
Wanker blocks an elbow strike.
With the fighters up against the cage, Slugs throws an elbow but misses.
Slugs tries a knee to the head but he's missed.
Wanker pushes Slugs back against the cage and unloads with a body punch.
Wanker lands a left hand that snaps the head of Slugs backwards.
Wanker softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
Wanker scores with a shot to the side of Slugs's head.
A shot in the inside from Wanker.

Wanker breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Wanker throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Slugs sees it coming and avoids it easily.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
A telegraphed right hand from Wanker misses the target.
Slugs misses with a hook.
Wanker is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Slugs.
Slugs closes the distance but Wanker moves to the side
letting Wanker counter with a right hand.
Wanker cracks Slugs on the jaw with a powerful right hand and Slugs falls backwards against the cage. Wanker follows up with more strikes that drop Slugs to his knees. Wanker keeps the pressure on and the referee jumps in to save Slugs! This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:37 of round 4, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Massive Wanker!
Massive Wanker retains his super heavyweight title!
A very excited looking Massive Wanker rambled incoherently for about 5 minutes post fight about how awesome he is. It was kinda funny for a while but then everyone got annoyed.