PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a super heavyweight MMA rules bout between Virgin Mary (ranked 6395 p4p, 6600 weight class) and Very Girl (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!

Mary
vs
Girl

225 cm
18
300
0 - 1 - 0

BJJ Blue Belt
Counter fighter
Big heart

BJJ Blue Belt
Good kicks
Tends to cut

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the super heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Virgin Mary!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 0 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Very Girl!
The judges for this bout are Alan Glass, Stewart Dunkirk and Wesley Smith.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
We've got one fighter who appears to only be looking to counter and the other not looking particularly aggressive either, so we could be in for a dull fight.
Mary throws a low kick but Girl moves out of range easily.

Mary gets a double leg takedown into Girl's guard.
Mary looking to control the position here, rather than advance.

Girl has his feet on Mary's hips. He pushes off and gets to his feet. Nice work.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Girl misses with a takedown

and Mary decides to take the opportunity to score a takedown. He's landed in Girl's guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Mary looking to control the position here, rather than advance.
Mary tries to stand but Girl is controlling from the bottom.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
Girl wants to stand up but Mary is controlling him.
Girl has a closed guard, preventing Mary from standing up.
Mary sitting in guard here, content to control.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Girl is looking to stand up but Mary isn't so interested in that idea.

The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.

Mary shoots in for a takedown and gets it. Let's see what he's got on the mat.
Mary slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
Girl controlling Mary's posture.

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Mary stands and steps away. Girl gets to his feet too and we're back to the striking game.
Mary keeps the fight standing with a nice sprawl.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!

Mary bobs and weaves into range and then changes levels and scores with a nice takedown into side control.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Virgin Mary dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!

Mary is looking for a takedown here. He's shot in and has managed to get it, finishing up in Girl's half guard.
Girl tries to push off, looking to stand up, but Mary manages to move to mount!
Girl is looking to get back to his feet - it's going to be hard from this position.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Mary controlling his opponent.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Girl is looking to get to half guard.
Mary controlling the pace for now.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Mary has controlled the position for a good 20 seconds, which will no doubt be starting to frustrate his opponent.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Well. There's a bit of a lull in the action here and the crowd are starting to get restless.
Girl working to try and regain half guard.
Girl tries to buck Mary off but he can't manage it.
Mary tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
This is a sustained period of stalling by Mary.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Virgin Mary dominated that second round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action! This is the final round!

Mary closes the distance and looks for a trip takedown... aaaand he's got it - Mary lands in his opponent's guard.
Mary seems content to control from guard here. He's going to have to remain active though if he doesn't want to get stood back up.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Mary prevents Girl from getting back to his feet.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Mary decides to stand up and beckons his opponent to follow.

Mary shoots in for a takedown and gets it. Let's see what he's got on the mat.
Girl can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Mary controls the pace.
Mary postures up.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Mary controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.
Mary wants to stand but Girl has a closed guard, so he can't escape.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Girl wants to stand and escape but Mary is having none of it.
We may be looking at a referee standup if the pace doesn't pick up soon.
Virgin Mary overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.

Girl has scooted to the edge of the canvas and used the cage to get back to his feet. Mary has stuck on his opponent and is forcing him back against the cage.

Mary escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.

Mary feints and as Girl raises his hands in defense, Mary changes levels and drives through with a takedown into guard.
Mary prevents Girl from getting back to his feet.
Girl takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Girl looking for a sweep. Not yet Girl, not yet.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Girl wants to get back to his feet but Mary is in a dominant position and won't allow it.
Mary engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Very Girl has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Virgin Mary is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
Mary tries to stand but Girl is controlling from the bottom.

And that's the end of the fight!
Virgin Mary showed his dominance in that final round.
Well Mary has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Alan Glass scores the fight 30:27
Judge Stewart Dunkirk scores the fight 30:27
Judge Wesley Smith scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Virgin Mary!