Caged Warriors MMA (smack talk thread)

[robin10]

There's a new organization in town boys...and tell you what...i assure you,that this organization wont be another one of the org's that had potential,but had to close due to some reason or the other. And i say all this,cause CAGED WARRIORS is here, and we are here to stay!

So this is how this organization will work:-

Staff members:

1) Mr.John Wayne= CEO

2) Rush Grayson= Cheif Writer (Previews/Reviews)

3) Daniel Craythorne= Secondary Writer (Interviews/Fighter Profiles/Press-Conferances)

Contracts:-

 

1) The starting contracts for all fighters will be 4k/3k/4.5k.

2) Contracts will be either a 3-fight or a 5-fight contract (i have given everyone the option).

Contract renewals:-

1) Now,for a guy on a 3-fight contract...if they win 2 of the 3 fights, they will get a contract renewal immediately worth 5k/4k/5.5k.

2) Now for a guy on a 5-fight contract,the contract renewal will happen if you win 3 out of the 5 fights. And the renewal offer will also be 5k/4k/5.5k (same as that of the 3-fight contract ones).

3) Now then,for the ones on short contracts who will lose all their 3 fights...well, ya'll will get released unfortunately...Same goes for the ones on longer contracts,if they lose 3 out of the 5 fights.

Events:-

1) There will be one event every week...and another midweek event every two weeks (If we sign more than 100 fighters)

 

2) Otherwise there will only be 1 event per-week

Fight offers:-

1) I will give every fighter 2 weeks before a fight to prepare for their opponents...i.e. fight offers will be sent with 2-weeks notice at the very least.


2) On extremely rare occasions,i might send a short notice fight offer...but i will explain the reason why i sent that offer...hence if you guys dont like the reason,then you can obviously decline the fight offer.

How i will make the matchups fair:-

1) So first and foremost,to make fair matchups,i will look at the primary skills and potential ratings...and so,if they are pretty much the same...i will make the matchup.

2) Next thing i look at will be ID and Age,I wont ever send fight offers with ridiculous ID difference, or age difference,unless their is a huge age and ID difference...yet their skills are almost identical

Release:-

1) Now this is something i would never want to do...but if your fighter declines a fight offer without appropriate reasons,i will release them.

2) Inactivity for over 15 days will mean your fighter will be released.

3) Champions who will not defend their title will also be stripped of their title and released.

Writeups:-

Now,i will try to bring in a couple of writer to do previews,reviews,interviews,fighter profiles, weekend roundups and rankings shortly...so the schedule of those writeups will be.

Monday: Review
Tuesday: Rankings (when we will eventually start making them after few events)
Wednesday: Fighter Interview/Profiles (These will happen only if requests for it are made )
Thursday: Weekly Roundups (I will start making them more often)
Friday: Preview

Contract requests:-

Contract requests can be sent via a PM or a reply below.

I hope you guys will enjoy your stay in this organization,and i give ya'll my word...that i will try and make this org one of the most fun places to be in on this game.

[robin10]

MERCH PARTNER

Caged Warriors MMA is proud to announce that we have signed a long-term event partnership deal with (Helsinki Xtreme Fightwear) for the foreseeable future.
We are glad to have them onboard.
And so, if you want the best quality clothings in all of Helsinki..please do go to their company and buy some of the best clothes on a very very low price.
Also,if your fighter needs a sponsor...please do contact the owner Mr. Ken Enlow.

LINK TO THE COMPANY:-https://www.mmatycoon.com/clothingpublic.php?cid=5207

[robin10]

RANKINGS

 

Will be made after at least 5-10 events...i.e COMING SOON!

[robin10]

TOURNAMENTS AND NEWS

 

 

CW MMA: BIRTH OF A WARRIOR (370K)

 

 

NEWS: -----

[robin10]

ORGANIZATION STATS AND NEWS

 

(EDITED: 21ST NOVEMBER 2020)

 

1) FIGHTERS SIGNED: (124)

 

2) FIRST EVENT: (24TH OF OCTOBER)

 

3) HIGHEST EVENT RATING: (79.94)

 

4) HIGHEST PROFIT: ??

 

5) HIGHEST ATTENDANCE: 700

 

6) FASTEST KO: (EL ISOG { 15 SEC} [ROUND 1]) {CW MMA: WAR}

 

7) FASTEST SUB: (SAM SALTER {25 SEC} [ROUND 1]) {CW MMA: A NEW DAWN}

 

8) MOST TKO'S: ??

 

9) MOST KO'S: ??

 

10) MOST SUBS: ??

 

11) MOST WINS: CRAZY LEGS, FLOKI MAGNUSSON (2 EACH)

 

12) MOST LOSSES: RIKU NOBUNAGA (2 LOSSES)

 

13) MOST FIGHT OF THE NIGHTS AWARDS: MARIO THOMAS (2)

 

14) MOST KO OF THE NIGHTS AWARDS: ??

 

15) MOST SUB OF THE NIGHT AWARDS: ??

 

16) MOST TITLES FIGHT WINS: ??

 

17) MOST TITLE FIGHTS: ??

 

 

NOTE:THERE ARE A FEW SIGNS ("?" LIKE THIS) IN THERE, CAUSE THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY NAMES TO WRITE IN THOSE CATEGORIES, HENCE I WILL FILL THEM UP AFTER A FEW MORE EVENTS.

 

 

NOTABLE SIGNINGS

 

 

 

 

Chocolate Chip

 

AGE: 24 YEARS

 

RECORD: (4 WINS 1 LOSS)

 

WEIGHT CLASS: 170 LBS

 

LINK: https://www.mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilepublic.php?FID=367860

 

 

 

Joe "The Peacemaker" Biden

 

AGE: 24 YEARS

 

RECORD: (4 WINS 1 LOSS)

 

WEIGHT CLASS: 170 LBS

 

LINK: https://www.mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilepublic.php?FID=367855

 

 

 

Victor "Mad Dog" Contreiras

 

AGE: 19 YEARS

 

RECORD: (4 WINS 0 LOSSES)

 

WEIGHT CLASS: 265 LBS

 

LINK: https://www.mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilepublic.php?FID=365044

 

 

 

Kristof Pardi "Boy"

 

AGE: 19 YEARS

 

RECORD: (3 WINS 1 LOSS [MMA]) ( WINS 1 LOSS [TWGC])

 

WEIGHT CLASS: 145 LBS

 

LINK: https://www.mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilepublic.php?FID=365348

 

 

http://mmatycoon.com/gallery/9/9w9.jpg

 

PHOENIX DAWN

 

AGE: 26 YEARS

 

RECORD: (5 WINS 1 LOSSES)

 

WEIGHT CLASS: 205 LBS

 

LINK: http://mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilepublic.php?FID=367383

 

MORE FIGHTERS WILL BE ADDED SOON!

[robin10]

BOOKED FOR HALL OF FAMERS

 

 

TBD

[wayne95]

LOGO

Thumb

Banner

Belt

[danny0201]

Looking awesome good job!!

[JeffWare]

Oh nice a new org in my city.

[robin10]

Interviews coming soon!

[Kaufman]

Caged Talk with Jenkins Jennson

Guest: Matty Fernandez, Founder of Caged Warriors MMA

Camera pans around the studio and centers on Jenkins Jennson and Matty Fernandez, with the Caged Warriors MMA logo shimmering in the background. Jenkins and Matty are seated side by side on black cushioned chairs with a small round table between them. On Jenkin’s side is an oversized mug with a straw in it. Matty is holding a regular-sized black mug with a Caged Warriors MMA logo emblazoned on it. Jennson is dressed in his trademark green checkered suit and appears harried and unprepared, as per usual. Matty Fernandez is calm and relaxed. As the camera pans to the men, Matty is joking with the production team. He immediately composes him as the camera approaches. Jenkins looks around and realizes it’s time for him to get started. He looks wide-eyed at the camera for a moment and jerks into motion as if he just woke up from a nap.

Jenkins Jennson: What? Oh Hello! Good day to you. Welcome to Caged Talk, Caged Warriors MMA’s ONLY live interview show. I’m Jenkins Jennson. Let’s get started. We have a very special guest with us today and I’m not just saying that because he’s my boss *Jenkins laughs at his own joke but halts as he sees Matty shows only a hint of amusement*. Mr. Fernandez, welcome, and I just want to say that really like your new haircut, is it new. *Jenkins reaches over to try to touch Matty’s hair*

Matty Fernandez: *Removing Jenkins hand* A touchy one, eh? The interviews only started, ask a few more questions first. To answer your question about my hair. No, it’s not new, and honestly Jenkins, it looks like a bird’s nest right now. When was the last time you had your glasses checked?

JJ: *Takes glasses off and stares hard into them for a second squinting, then puts them back on this face* Oh eh sorry boss..I just…let me get the question I think that fans really want to know. What is Matty short for?

MF: What? *peers at Jenkins confused* My name?? It’s literally what my mates in the underground used to call me in the day. So I kept my name as Matty. My actual name is “you don’t need to know.”

JJ: Wow that’s a long name, no wonder you go by Matty. The underground you say. Sounds juicy, tell us more about that?

MF: *looks over at Jenkins and tilts his head slightly* Well, if you want to go into the deep end then I can talk about it. But don’t bother me if they come hunting you down because you know too much.

JJ: *shudders and looks around nervously* …hunt me..well I…Nevermind then. I don’t go to the deep end. I can’t even swim!

MF: Look at you...almost pissing in your pants already just by interviewing me now...I don't think it will be a good idea at all. You seem more of a kiddie-pool type of guy, and even then, you may need some floaties.

JJ: *Relieved* I couldn’t agree more, sir. I almost drowned in my soup the other day. Now, how did you get into MMA?

MF: MMA is something that I had an interest in for a long-long time. The place where I grew up, there were regular brawls in public. So, I think you can imagine where my love for the sport came from.

JJ: Have you ever competed?

MF: I tried my luck once in a local talent competition...I was in and out of the cage in seconds...the latter in a stretcher obviously...so yeah, I did “compete” once. If you wish to call it that. Oh, and I woke up a couple weeks later in a hospital bed.

JJ: That’s more seconds than me. One time I got into a fight with a bush. I was a few pints in and my glasses were foggy and it was dark out, I thought it was a very large person. I lost that fight.

MF: *laughs* Well some of those bushes can be prickly.

JJ: You loved MMA but competing wasn’t for you, so you turned to managing fighters?

MF: When I realized I wasn’t good enough to compete, it broke my heart. All I ever loved since I was a kid was MMA. Not being able to be involved really hurt me. One day...one of the dudes out the underground...who actually had connections to a couple of good people in the sport. You know, the good people right, the influential ones. He got me talking to a couple of drunk fools around our place who had potential to be a superstar. I saw some potential in them, gave them some training, got them into an organization...and boom! Here we are.

JJ: You achieved success in managing, why place your focus on running an organization?

MF: *Looks at Jenkins with a grin* Are you being sarcastic again? You haven’t seen my record?? If you just want to throw sarcastic questions at me, I’m out of here *gets up and pretends to walk out*

JJ: *Nervous and clearly not getting Mr. Fernandez is joking* No no please sir!

MF: Don’t you know anything about MMA?!

JJ: I must confess, sir, I previously reported on amateur badminton competition. This is my first foray into MMA. It’s scary.

MF: *laughs and shakes his head* What? Badminton? Who hired you anyways??

JJ: Why you did sir?

MF: *Looks around* Uh right, next question.

JJ: Well, back to the previous question. You are managing fighters in MMA, as you had wanted. The world is yours, why start an org? Especially in Helsinki where there are two functioning orgs with over 30 events each?

MF: Now, as far as the org thing is concerned. At first, managing fighters was really good. I actually enjoyed it for once. But after a certain time my hunger for doing something bigger, something more, just kept on growing. Hence I thought, well, when I can manage an entire roster of fighters, why only stick to the knobheads which I control?

With the influence of my underground mates again, those guys were really useful for me to be honest, I got some money. Hehe, actually kind of looted some money and started the organization.

You are wrong about Helsinki. There is only one functioning organization. The other one is closed.

I chose Helsinki ‘cause I have a long-standing relationship with this place. Most of my GF'S are from round here ffs! So, it was an easy choice. Plus, Helsinki really needed an organization for breeding the newcomers.

JJ: *starts to blush and glasses fog up* Your..girlfriends, sir? Isn’t Ms. Fernandez watching this?!

MF: OK, goddammit we can edit that part.

JJ: *Looks like he swallowed an insect* Uh Sir. We are live.

MF: *face goes pale*

JJ: Ehh umm I’m sure you meant female business associates, right? Lots of females doing business in Finland. Right, boss?

MF: *Ignores Jenkins, looks directly into camera* Babe, I meant you. No girlfriends. Definitely no girlfriends. *Shifts nervously*

JJ: Let’s move on then..

MF: *Matty's phone, which he had placed on the round table between them at the start of the interview, starts to vibrate violently. He grabs it an stares at it for moment and then let’s out an expletive* BLEEEEP. *He gets up brings phone to his ear and starts to walk out* I gotta take this. *To phone* Honey Honey…I didn’t..No I said…

JJ: *Looks around unsure of what to do* I suppose..let’s go to commercial.

*Ten minutes later the two men are back and appear to be ready to continue*

JJ: Welcome back everyone. Our deepest *looks into camera* deepest apologies for this ahem technical difficulty. We have received word from our research team that there are, in fact, no girlfriends in Finland. Let’s get back to the interview. What makes Caged Warriors MMA so unique? Why should fans tune in?

MF: Caged Warriors is unique in many ways. Firstly, we have some strict rules, which I have already told everyone pretty openly, most other organizations don't follow. Next, we don't pay over the top for anyone ‘cause we don't want mercenaries. Caged Warriors is all about blood, sweat and hard work. As a result, when the fighting starts, you will only find top quality matchups, none of that kids stuff.

JJ: This seems like an obvious question; will the fights be held inside a cage?

MF: Yup, inside the cage is where the war happens.

JJ: When can we expect the first event?

MF: It is already booked for late October.

JJ: Any fighters or matchups you think fans should be extra excited about?

MF: So far, we are working on getting more class signings. But yeah, a couple of names pop up. Keep an eye on Sam Salter and Riku Nobunga. Expect fireworks out of those two.

JJ: Will do, boss. Last question, what does the future hold for Caged Warriors MMA?

MF: I just want to see us take baby steps for now. Most importantly make sure the managers and fighters in here are actually happy to stay in Caged Warriors. But yeah, like everyone, I also dream of turning this organization to the best there will be one day.

JJ: Good to know. A focus on keeping fighters and managers happy, you heard it here folks. Come check it out for yourselves. Hey, uhhh, what’s in your mug? *Leans over to try to look into Matty’s mug* They gave me apple juice. *Takes a sip out of his straw* What do you have? It doesn't smell like apple juice. What is it?

MF: It’s coffee, Jenkins. Are we done?

JJ: No no I think…

*Jenkins leans over to try to look into Matty’s mug again, this time he leans too far and spills the contents, which appears to be beer. Jenkins looks at Matty and then the camera and gulps. Just as he does, Matty’s phone starts to vibrate violently again*

Fade to black

[Kaufman]

Caged Warriors MMA

Fighter Profile: Riku “The Noble” Nobunaga

 

Camera pans to Caged Warriors MMA announce duo, Jenkins Jennson and “The Legend” Kale Suanders. They are seated side by side with a screen between them displaying the Caged Warriors MMA logo, with its trademark sparkle. Jenkins is picking his nose, as the Legend kick things off…

 

Kale Suanders: Greetings fight fans! My name is “The Legend” Kale Suanders and I’m here along with my puny co-host, Jenkins Jennson Prods Jenkins with his finger. We’ve got a helluva fu******n show for you tod…Jenkins interrupts

 

Jenkins Jennson: …Language, Kale. There are young fans watching.

 

KS: Rolls his eyes and ignores Jenkins We will be looking at one of the very top competitors in the CWMMA Light Heavyweight division. Hell, in the entire CWMMA. I’m talking about none other than Riku "The Noble" Nobunaga. Nobunaga is a solid 3-0 in QFC competition with all three wins coming by way of submission. Jenkins interrupts

 

JJ: …All in the first round, Kale! That’s under 5 minutes, Kale!!

 

KS: Annoyed Cut it out, Jenkins. I was getting to that. The Noble’s longest fight lasted just four minutes and fifty-seven second! We will have to see if his conditioning can hold up in the later rounds against tougher competition. This ain’t no QFC folks! This is CAGED MOTHER F********IN WARRIORS.

 

JJ: Kale, calm down, you’re going to bust a blood vessel!

 

KS: I’m just SO FRIGGIN EXCITED. Let’s watch some highlights.

 

CLIP STARTS:

Nobunaga with some aggressive grappling here. He's looking for submissions here, rather than waiting for the opportunity to counter.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Nobunaga swings around for an armbar and he's got it! Wow, that came out of nowhere! What a finish!

 

KS: Here we see Nobunaga displaying a magnificent ground game in his first fight against Jism Facial. Look at that, Jenkins, Nobunaga is a shark and Facial is just prey waiting to be eaten. Watch, he’s got the full mount only two minutes into the round..he’s mounted Facial and WHOA Facial didn’t know what hit him! That was quick. But not premature I’d say, Jenkins. Jism Facial, an unusual name.

 

JJ: I actually have a cousin with the same name. She’s got great skin.

 

KS: Umm Ok, Jenkins. We don’t need to know that.

 

JJ: I had the opportunity to speak to Riku recently. He takes this stuff seriously!

 

Zoom to the monitor hanging between Jenkins and Kale. Riku Nobunaga’s face appears.

Riku Nobunaga: I am the great grandson of Oda Nobunaga, a Japanese daimyō of the Sengoku period regarded as the first "Great Unifier" of Japan. My parents wants me to be a samurai, but my heart is in MMA.

 

Zoom out back to Kale and Jenkins

 

JJ: There is clearly a lot more at stake for Nobunaga than just prize money.

 

KS: Honor, Jenkins. Ever heard of it? Now Let’s look at Nobunaga’s second fight. A 59- second scorcher!

 

CLIP STARTS:

Haycott dodges an elbow strike from Nobunaga.

Nobunaga gets a nice trip takedown into half guard.

Nobunaga seems like he's working for an arm triangle here. He's freed his trapped foot and he's rotating nicely. Haycott is in big trouble! He's tapping out! This one is aaaaaaaaaaaall over!

 

KS: Nice! He sets up the take down with that elbow aaand Haycott is on his back. NOT where he wants to be with Nobunaga, a BJJ Brown Belt! He’s getting his hips up, oh and there his foot is free WOW, that was textbook.

 

JJ: This man is a submission GENIUS. He looks unstoppable. Haycott never had a chance! He’s got a wrestling background as well! Him and I discussed recently.

 

Zoom to the monitor hanging between Jenkins and Kale. Riku Nobunaga’s face appears.

 

Riku Nobunaga: I was a Division 1 NCAA wrestler and decided to train BJJ and got brown belt at the moment. I'm fearless, determined and a BEAST on the ground. Bruh I have no weakness. I'm a beast!

 

No one in CWMMA can stop me! Bring more competition, for now, nobody could match me.

 

Zoom out back to Kale and Jenkins

 

JJ: So far, BEAST describes Riku perfectly. He’s “The Noble Beast.” How about that, Kale? Made that up on my own.

 

KS: Stay focused, Jenkins. You heard it here first, folks. Riku seeming supremely confident. bring out your abacus because it’s time to look at some numbers.

 

JJ: My aba..what??

 

KS: Your abacus, Jenkins, google it. If we add up all of Nobunaga’s submission attempts we find that out of 16 total submission attempts only 3 were successful…

 

JJ: That’s only 18.75%

 

KS: Right you are Jenkins, I see you found your abacus after all. Look to all of Nobunaga’s other offense and we see a giant goose egg. Two elbows in the clinch in three fights is all the striking we have seen from The Noble in terms of striking. The question is: how would he fare against an accomplished striker with formidable take down defense.

 

JJ: Sleepytown?

 

KS: Yes, he’s liable to get a free trip to Sleepytown from anyone with a pulse and a semi-decent right cross.

 

JJ: Ek..Sleepytown..not where I want to go on holiday.

 

KS: Me neither, Jenkins. Let’s look at his last fight. A re-match with Roberto “Haymaker” Haycott. Boy, Haycott sure is a glutton for punishment.

 

CLIP STARTS:

Nobunaga working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Haycott doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Oh but Nobunaga is tightening it up a little... Haycott has to be careful here... He's got his foot tucked under now, this looks tight! Haycott reacted too slowly and this one could be over in a matter of seconds! YES! Haycott taps out!

 

KS: Let’s talk through the minutes leading up to this and then we’ll discuss this last sequence. Nobunaga attempts NINE submissions along the way, while both advancing and giving up position until we get to the final seconds of round one and there, he’s able to sink in the triangle. You’ve got to be careful, Jenkins. You’re on top, you think you’re safe. Then things start to feel warm and fuzzy. Next thing you know, you’re at the Sleepytown Motel.

 

JJ: What? I thought there was only one way to Sleepytown!?

 

KS: This is MMA, kid. All roads lead to Sleepytown. Gotta keep your eyes open and your balls powdered.

 

JJ: What? My balls?!

 

KS: You wouldn’t understand. Before we sign off, Let’s check out how Nobunaga measures up in the Warrior Facts.

 

Riku "The Noble" Nobunaga

Light Heavyweight Division

Record: 3-0-0 (W-L-D)

Total Opponent Record: 2-5-0

Dominant Fighting Style: BJJ (Brown Belt)

 

Overall Fight Stats:

Standup

Head punch: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Body punch: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Punch combo: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Head kick: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Leg kick: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Body kick: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Takedown: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Clinchwork

Head punch: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Body punch: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Elbow: 0.7 (0.0) 0%

Knee head: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Knee body: 0.3 (0.0) 0%

Takedowns: 1.3 (0.7) 50%

Groundwork

Improve pos: 2.0 (1.0) 50%

Strikes: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Sub attempts: 5.3 (1.0) 19%

Strengths

Submissions, Submissions, Submissions. Opponents with poor BJJ who go to the ground with The Noble are going to be tapping out quickly. Once Nobunaga hits the ground, he is relentless in his attack and while he may only hits on average 19% of his submission attempts, it only takes one to win.

 

Weaknesses

So far, Nobunaga has shown only one game plan. It’s worked for him so far, but that was in the QFC. The step up in competition at CWMMA will be a true test for this submission superstar.

 

Outlook

If Nobunaga’s opponent has decent striking and good takedown defense, he’s toast. If he’s matched up against another submission specialist, could go either way. But with Nobunaga’s NCAA Division 1 wrestling pedigree, even grapplers should to watch out. Otherwise, look for Nobunaga to keep racking up those submission wins.

[Kaufman]

Caged Warriors MMA – Warrior Facts

Sam “The Salt” Salter

 

*The show opens and we see a zoomed-out room of the studio. Kale “The Legend” Suanders, looking burly and serious as ever is reviewing his index cards. His announce partner Jenkins Jennson looks distracted. Jenkins has a bunch of forms laid out on the small round table between them and on his lap. A few forms are on the ground in front of him. He is frantically trying to fill them out. As the camera zoom into to the CWMMA announce team, The Legend is ready.*

 

“The Legend” Kale Suanders: Hey! I’m “The Legend” Kale Suanders and this Warrior Facts!! *Kale looks over at Jenkins whose still trying to fill out forms* Hey HEY! We’re live, you nimrod!

 

Jenkins Jennson: *Starts hurriedly trying to put the papers together..drops them…looks up at the camera* What?! Oh Yes. My apologies, I’m just trying to…We’re live you say?! Oh Ok. I’m Jenkins Jennson and we have a well-seasoned show for you today as we profile Sam “The Salt” Salter. Did you hear that, Kale? I said well-seasoned. *Jenkins, self-satisfied, giggles at his own joke*

 

KS: *Annoyed* I like it when you don’t talk, Jenkins. Our featured warrior, Sam “The Salt” Salter, boasts a glossy 8-2 record making him a possible top contender in the CWMMA. Possibly. We’ll get the facts tonight!

 

JJ: Why possibly? This man is ghastly, he’s dastardly! 5 wins in UNDER a minute. He’s unstoppable, right Kale?

 

KS: Maybe so, Jenkins. But let’s look a bit deeper.

 

*Screen appears with Salter’s record*

W

Trey Diesel

Submission (Triangle)

Quick Fight Championship

W

Trey Diesel

Submission (Guillotine)

Quick Fight Championship

W

Scotty Jameson

Submission (Kimura)

Ash Pres: The 3rd Aftermath

W

Nick Mullen

Submission (Kimura)

Quick Fight Championship

W

Trey Diesel

Submission (Guillotine)

Quick Fight Championship

W

Trey Diesel

Submission (Kneebar)

Quick Fight Championship

W

Trey Diesel

Submission (Triangle Choke)

Quick Fight Championship

W

Trey Diesel

Submission (Triangle Choke)

Quick Fight Championship

L

Koos Van Asch

Decision (Unanimous)

Quick Fight Championship

L

Trey Diesel

Submission (Arm Triangle)

Quick Fight Championship

JJ: Who in heaven’s name is Trey Diesel?!

 

KS: Precisely, Jenkins. Looks at Salter’s record minus Diesel: 2-1. Not bad, but not 8-2. So is he worth the hype? Let’s find out.

 

JJ: This Trey Diesel must be a serious glutton for punishment, I mean he just kept coming back again and again. I mean after the third time in a row?! Whose sanctioning these bouts? Mickey Mouse??

 

KS: It’s the QFC. My grandma can build a competitive record in the QFC.

 

JJ: Well, Grandma Suanders IS pretty tough.

 

KS: Heck yes she is. Grandma was a bareknuckle boxing champion in the welterweight division in her time.

 

JJ: Oh wow really? I didn’t know there was a women’s division back then.

 

KS: *Looks at Jenkins* There wasn’t. She won the men’s division! Grandma could whup you AND this Diesel kid with one arm tied behind her back.

 

JJ: *Eyes widen* But..but Grandma Suanders only has one arm!

 

KS: Exactly! …But back to your original point. It’s unclear how these bouts were sanctioned and how they actually reflect on Salter’s skill level. Trey Diesel’s just a kid. He’s only 18 years old, Jenkins. And if he keeps on like this he’s not going to live until his 19^th birthday.

 

JJ: On that point, I had the opportunity to speak with The Salt, what a friendly little guy. Here’s what he had to say about Diesel..

 

*Camera pans to screen and Sam “The Salt” Salter’s face appears*

Sam “The Salt” Salter: I wouldn’t say me and Trey Diesel have much of a rivalry, He beat me in my first fight, so I did want the two rematches to prove I was the better man. After that, I didn't want to fight him anymore but for whatever reason the QFC continued to book us. I pride myself in fighting whoever is placed in front of me.

*Camera goes back to Jenkins and The Legend*

 

KS: Fair enough, if I had to count all the chumps I fought and beat many times over..

 

JJ: *interrupts* That’s why they call you The Legend!

 

KS: Let’s look at a few of Salter’s fights and see what we discover.

 

*Camera pans to screen*

 

CLIP ROLLS:

Diesel has control of Salter's left arm, preventing Salter from doing any damage.
Diesel is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
SUB ATTEMPT
Salter drops back looking for a submission - "I'm sorry sir, but I'm gunna break your leg" says Salter as he cranks on the unfortunate limb! Diesel screams and taps out before any major damage is done!

 

*Back to Jenkins and Kale. Jenkins is cringing*

 

JJ: *Grimaces* URGH…that looks painful! I’m surprised Diesel walked away after that one.

 

KS: I love to see that look on your face. But that’s not why I showed that clip. I wanted to demonstrate the versatility of Salter’s BJJ. What we just saw there was a kneebar. Extremely painful. Extremely well-executed by The Salt. Look at his 8 wins, Jenk, there are 5 different submissions there. He put on a damn clinic in every one of those wins!

 

JJ: I bet he would be a great BJJ instructor!

 

KS: You’re right about that, Jenkins, but I’m pretty sure he’d rather stick around and administer some ass-kickings first. Look, while Salter is obviously extremely versatile on the ground, he may still want to consider altering his strategy slightly.

 

JJ: But why?! He’s on an 8-fight win streak, Kale. That’s a lot of wins in a short time period. I had the chance to check in with The Salt about his experience, here’s what he had to say…

 

*Camera pans to screen with Sam “The Salt” Salter’s face and the face starts talking*

Sam “The Salt” Salter: My background is in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I am currently a brown belt moving closer to becoming a black belt. I also put a lot of time in the wrestling rooms because BJJ is only effective once you get the fight to the mat. I do not have any experience competing outside of MMA, I fell in love with the sport and hit the ground running. My strengths as a fighter - Of course my work on the ground. I also train in stand up, but I can definitely improve in it.

*Camera goes back to Jenkins and The Legend*

 

JJ: Clearly, he knows what he’s doing. Why should he change anything?!

 

KS: Because his submission success rate is a measly 14%, he only improves position 38% percent of the time and that’s based on 1.3 attempts. He’s landed… *Jenkins looks concerned* exactly, double J, a whopping ONE takedown in 10 fights. As for his striking production. Well, there is literally none to speak of. You would think he was competing in a BJJ tournament.

 

JJ: Doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous, Kale. Who cares about advancing position, he’s gotten submissions from nearly every position. Nobody puts Salty in a corner!

 

KS: No doubt, Jenkins. But while his body of work is deep, it’s extremely narrow. Here’s another thing, this may be insensitive to some of the snowflakes out there buuut, THIS GUY IS A GODDAMN MIDGET! He’s 150 cm…that’s under 5 ft for you imperial system fans. He’s even small for his wee man division. I broke 150 cm at 1.5 years old, Jenkins.

 

JJ: Yeah well Kale, you were one strange-looking toddler.

 

KS: You little punk! What I’m saying is that while his baby T-rex body type is terrific for not getting caught in a submission, but it leaves him with some obvious weaknesses.

 

JJ: He can never reach the top cabinet in the kitchen?

 

KS: He can barely reach the counter! Also, he is at an extreme disadvantage on his feet. Let’s take a look at his decision loss to Koos Van Asch early on in his still-young career.

 

CLIPS ROLLS:

Seven struggles to land a body shot inside as Salter controls his hands.
Seven gets through Salter's defenses to land a nice punch to the side of the head.
A short right from Seven on the inside.
Seven misses with a hook to the ribs.
Salter tries to take the fight to the ground by pulling guard but can't manage it.

And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

 

KS: This is at the very end of the first round, as you can see, they are clinching, which they have essentially been the whole round. At this point, Salter has had at least 3 takedowns attempts stuffed. Look at Van Asch just go to town on Salter there. Head, body, body..nice work for Van Asch. He actually retired after this one fight, Jenkins. One and done, I guess. The fight game is crazy. Let’s check out another highlight from this fight.

 

CLIPS ROLLS:

Seven lands a nice uppercut.
Seven tries to throw a body punch but Salter avoids it by throwing Seven back against the cage.
Seven lands a shoulder strike.
Seven misses with a hook to the ribs.
A right hand to the body from Seven.
Salter jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Seven walks away with a smile on his face. Salter gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Sam Salter. That's going to take a lot out of him.
CLINCH
Seven clinches up against the cage.
Seven tries to throw a body punch but Salter avoids it by throwing Seven back against the cage.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

 

KS: Look at Van Asch raining blows onto Salter. All we see from Salter in response is a series of failed takedown attempts. And this repeated itself for all three rounds, went to a unanimous decision, and earned Salter 30-24s from every judge. Absolutely embarrassing.

 

JJ: He took this to heart, Kale, he told me so himself..

 

*Zoom to screen with The Salt*

Sam “The Salt” Salter: I do feel my record shows my skill level. I started out rough, but once I got past the learning curve it’s been good. Once I decided that MMA is really what I wanted to do I buckled down and started training as a pro should. My two losses really opened my eyes.

JJ: …and he had a message for Mr. Fernandez, too.

Sam “The Salt” Salter: I would like to thank you for the opportunity, and also would love to fight for a title, I'm on a tear and know I could represent this company. I’m excited for the jump in competition and look forward to facing the top guys in the company.

*Camera goes back to Jenkins and The Legend*

 

KS: What a humble guy. You know, Jenkins, I am genuinely looking forward to seeing Sam compete. He’s going to be a helluva warrior! Speaking of…we’ve reached that time. Here is your Warrior Facts Breakdown:

 

Sam “The Salt” Salter

Bantamweight Division

Record: 8-2-0 (W-L-D)

Total Opponent Record: 8-10-0

Dominant Fighting Style: BJJ (Brown Belt)

Overall Fight Stats:

Standup

Head punch: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Body punch: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Punch combo: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Head kick: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Leg kick: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Body kick: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Takedown: 0.4 (0.2) 50%

Clinchwork

Head punch: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Body punch: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Elbow: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Knee head: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Knee body: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Takedowns: 1.6 (0.0) 0%

Groundwork

Improve pos: 1.3 (0.5) 38%

Strikes: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Sub attempts: 5.7 (0.8) 14

Strengths

It doesn’t matter if Salter is on the bottom, side, or top, he’s got the proven ability to find a submission and quick. Conversely, his body type is optimal for defending submissions. He has the ability to analyze and innovate his game as proven by the 8-fight win streak following his initial two pro losses. We can reasonably expect that as his career in CWMMA progresses, the holes in his game will disappear.

 

Weaknesses

He only has BJJ and his BJJ is greedy. He tires himself out with multiple takedown attempts and then floors the pedal on submissions. This has worked great against the tomato cans he’s been fighting. Against an equally skilled BJJ player, he may find himself in hot water. Then there’s the obvious, The Salt is a dwarf with stubby arms and legs, and no visible striking ability.

 

Outlook

Anyone who follows a strategy similar to the Koos (Salter’s 2^nd loss) can pick up a W. That means you act like the earth’s gravitational pull doesn’t apply to you. Don’t.Go.To.The.Ground. Follow that strategy, you’ve got at least a puncher’s chance. Don’t count out Salter though. He knows what he needs to do to be successful and he’s making strides to get there. All things aside, he is a BJJ powerhouse and on his way to earning his Black Belt. Give him a few fights to find his stride at this level and he may just be championship material.

 

[robin10]

The next three fighter profiles to be posted will be of:-

This week.

1) KWAWI MUMBA https://www.mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilepublic.php?FID=366326

2) DEAIR SHAW https://www.mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilepublic.php?FID=367555

 

Next week.

1) KABURAGI MATAMOTO https://www.mmatycoon.com/fighterprofilepublic.php?FID=367519

A big thanks to all the managers who have shown interest on having a fighter profile writeup made on their fighter...your cooperation is greatly appreciated.

[Kaufman]

Cage Warriors MMA – Warrior Facts

Kwawi Mumba

 

*Camera pans around the studio and into view appear our illustrious co-anchors. Kale “The Legend” Suanders is looking large-and-in-charge. Jenkins Jenson, in the meantime, decked out in his trademark checkered green suit is clipping his finger nails. To the right of them is the behemoth known as Kwawi Mumba. Jenkins looks like a toothpick with glasses compared to Mumba. Even The Legend, at 6’4 270 Ibs. of muscle piled on top of muscle is dwarfed by this man. Kwawi looks surprisingly comfortable and relaxed even as it appears that the world is his dollhouse. The chair he is sitting on however, built for normal sized humans, is showing signs of near demise. The camera focuses on the three and the show sets to begin. Jenkins seeing the red light go on out of the corner of his eye begins to clip his nails more rapidly, Kwawi looks down at him semi-amused and then looks over at Kale*

 

Kale “The Legend” Suanders: Hey there fight fans – thanks for joining us today. We have a great show for yo..*One of Jenkins nail clippings flies into Kale’s eye, instinctively Kale backhands Jenkins sending him tumbling into Kwawi*

 

*Kwawi Mumba ignores Jenkins entirely as if he was an elephant and Jenkins, an insignificant fly. Jenkins simply bounces off of him like a tennis ball. He takes a second, readjusts his glasses*

 

Jenkins Jenson: *Looking at Kwawi* What the heck are you made off? That was like running into a brick wall. Welcome to the show. It’s so good to have you with us…and I uhh I’m sorry about you know *looks down at his nails* my girlfriend said I couldn’t come home until I trim my nails.

 

KS: You mean your mom, Jenkins? We all know you haven’t had a girlfriend since your cousin back in 6^th grade.

 

JJ: Whatever Kale. She was my third cousin.

 

KS: Let’s get serious, because we’ve got a serious warrior with us tonight. Kwawi Mumba, welcome to Warrior Facts. And, welcome to Cage Warriors MMA.

 

Kwawi Mumba: It’s great to be here. I’ve been working for this a long time.

 

KS: You were born in the DR Congo, how did you end up across the world in Los Angeles? I mean, I can barely detect an accent.

 

KM: Yes, I was born there. My parents and I moved from DR Congo when I was 5 years old, since then we have lived in LA. This is where I had my education. Thats probably explains why I speak the language so well.

 

JJ: Some of still don’t speak so good.

 

KS: Quit boring us with your problems, Jenkins. Kwawi, so you’re a kid…a large kid growing up in LA. Why fighting and not say, basketball? I mean don’t take this the wrong way, but you’ve got the build of an NBA center.

 

JJ: Careful, Kale, he’s going to kick your ass.

 

KM: Hahaha, relax Jenkins. It’s Ok. I get this question all the time. I don’t think I ever got a chance to get into basketball. It really all came from my father. Growing up, my dad used to talk to me about being able to defend myself and don’t get hurt. I started training at the local gym, which my dad made sure I attended daily after school. At first it was very difficult and demanding. I wanted to go hang out with my friends like a regular kid. But before I knew it, fighting was just a part of me.

 

KS: At 25 and with only one pro fight under your belt, you are getting a bit of a late start. You say you’ve been fighting since you were young, what gives?

 

KM: *Kwawi takes a deep breath and composes himself* This is kind of hard to talk about. *deep breath* When I was 22, I lost my Dad to Cancer. Before he died, my training really suffered. There was so much going on in my family and when he died a year later, it that took 2 years for me to really snap back to reality. I was shattered angry. Last year, I picked myself up and decided to get back to the gym. This time, to take my fighting to the top level.

 

KS: *Puts his hand on Kwawi’s shoulder* That’s understandable, big man. It’s not easy losing a parent. Would you say you are fighting to honor his legacy?

 

KM: Absolutely, honoring his legacy is number one for me. He never got a chance to see me go pro, but I believe he’s with me at every fight. And he’s definitely with me when I don’t want to wake up for training, pushing me just like he used to.

 

JJ: You guys wanna hear a fun fact? There are only 23 pro fighters from DR Congo in the entire world. Only one fight in, Kwawi, you are already number three. Does being the top fighter from DR Congo hold a special meaning for you? Is it something you are striving for?

 

KM: I grew up in Los Angeles, but my heart is in DR Congo. Being among the top means a lot to me. I am looking to stay on top and remain there. It will require me being very tactical and disciplined. I am sure every other fighter wants to be there too. Well, we shall see.

 

KS: Good stuff. I love to see motivated warriors. Let’s get to the what fight fans have been waiting for. Anyone who saw your last fight watched you absolutely annihilate Brazil Joe.

 

JJ: I damn near wet myself during that fight!

 

KS: So did Brazil Joe by the looks of it. Let’s take a look at a clip.

 

CLIP:

 

Mumba's jab looks to have found its range, popping Joe under the eye.
Mumba misses with a hook.
Joe thuds a left hand into Mumba's body.
Joe swings for the body but Mumba moves out of range.
Mumba lands with an uppercut that bounces Joe off the cage and back into range.
Mumba bobs and weaves and unloads with a good uppercut.
Mumba is using his reach advantage well here, landing the more effective single shots from range.
Joe misses with an uppercut. Mumba saw that one coming.
Mumba throws a hook to the body but it doesn't connect.
Nice straight punches there by Mumba. You know Roy Jones Jr respects the hands of Mumba.
Joe fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Mumba looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Mumba throws a lazy right hand but Joe sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Mumba scores with a crisp jab that stopped Joe in his tracks.

 

JJ: Oh dear, I don’t even know what to make of this. It’s an enormous man hitting another semi-enormous man repeatedly in the face. I don’t even think Brazil Joe got a single punch there.

 

KS: You ain’t wrong, kid. This is what we love to see. Face-punching at its best. This is Kwawi Mumba executing the right game plan just magnificently. Take us through your thought process there, Kwawi.

 

KM: Well, I don’t know that it was planned. I just go with the flow of the fight and whatever game plan my coaches want me to implement in a fight. Obviously, my size does come with some advantages. You can see I was able to use my boxing combined with my reach to control much of that round.

 

KS: We definitely saw a snapshot of one of your strengths there, should fans expect you to finish fights on your feet?

 

KM: As a fighter I try to balance myself and reduce weakness by turning possible weakness into strength. As you already know, even as a BJJ brown belt holder, I can still win a fight with KO.

 

KS: Most definitely, Kwawi, most definitely! Any areas where you are looking to improve?

 

KM: *Looks down at Kale and smiles. The Legend looks back up unintimidated* Heh, well, I’m still working to improve my cardio. Gotta cut down on those cheeseburgers.

 

KS: Let’s get back to KOs. This will be a special treat for those fans who didn’t get a chance to catch your QFC fight. Let’s watch this brilliant finish. Roll the clip, boys. *under his breath* boy, I hope Brazil Joe’s mom ain’t watching this.

 

CLIP:

 

Mumba is moving around nicely and scores here with a single head shot.
Mumba steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Joe.
Mumba is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Joe can do to turn this around?
KNOCKDOWN
Mumba lands a big right hand that sends Joe crashing to the mat! Mumba stays standing though and waves Joe back to his feet!
Joe is still on wobbly legs! Can Mumba finish him?
Joe throws a lazy uppercut
and Mumba rattles Joe with a well-timed uppercut counter. - Joe tries to back away and recover but his hands are down low and he gets tagged again, sending him stumbling down to the canvas. Mumba dives in after him and quickly finishes the job with a trio of brutal punches, leaving Joe stiff and motionless on the mat!

 

JJ: WHAT?! HOW IS BRAZIL JOE STILL ALIVE. Kwawi, you turned that man into a living cadaver.

 

KS: Brazil Joe is going to wake up and not know what day it is.

 

JJ: Kale, he’s not going to know what planet he’s on!

 

KS: Well Kwawi I want to thank you for that. I love watching it every time. I don’t know who would want to fight you after seeing something like that, but what are your thoughts on who you want to fight and why fighters should fear you...aside from what we just saw?

 

KM: No doubt. Other fighters should be afraid. I am the total package. I sting like a bee AND I squeeze like a python. As for who I want to fight? I’m looking for fighters in my division with great experience who will be good match for me.

 

KS: Fantastic. Any final words you want to leave us with?

 

KM: I’m happy and excited to be at CWMMA. I would like to thank my GYM BLK and everyone in the gym, my coaches, manager, and friends. Also, I would like to thank my fans for support throughout the years. It hasn’t been an easy road but I’m here!

 

*Show goes to commercial and returns with just Kale and Jenkins*

 

JJ: Well, that was fun. I thought we was going to kill me at first. He looks mean, but he actually turned out to be alright.

 

KS: What does that guy eat? I mean how do you get that tall?? Speaking of which, Jenkins, fighters gotta eat.

 

JJ: You’re right, Kale. It’s tough out there for new fighters. It’s not like this guy can work at the grocery store during the day, he’s gotta train!

 

KS: Any companies out there looking to sponsor a fighter that is going to be literally one of the BIGGEST killers in this sport, Kwawi Mumba is your man. Alright Jenkins, it’s my favorite time of the evening…

 

JJ: Bathtime?

 

KS: What? No, you fruitcake! It’s time for the Warrior Facts Breakdown:

 

Kwawi Mumba

Heavyweight Division

Record: 1-0-0 (W-L-D)

Total Opponent Record: 3-3-0

Dominant Fighting Style: BJJ (Brown Belt)/Boxing

Standup

Head punch: 60.0 (23.0) 38%

Body punch: 9.0 (2.0) 22%

Punch combo: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Head kick: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Leg kick: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Body kick: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Takedown: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Clinchwork

Head punch: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Body punch: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Elbow: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Knee head: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Knee body: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Takedowns: 2.0 (0.0) 0%

Groundwork

Improve pos: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Strikes: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Sub attempts: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Strengths

Kwawi Mumba has an obvious physical advantage over nearly every fighter he comes across. The question is whether he will be able to capitalize on it. If his first fight is any indicator, the answer is a resounding yes. One fight out the gate, Kwawi seems to have found the magic potion for success. The scary thing for the rest of the CWMMA Heavyweight roster is that this may just be the beginning of the Giant Mumba. We mustn’t forget that he is a BJJ Brown Belt. We already know he can throw hands, if he is equally deadly on the ground, he could be just unstoppable.

 

Weaknesses

At this level, a Brown Belt isn’t going to pull you any extra poontang. Against another BJJ brown belt or higher with some wrestling, Kwawi could find himself in some serious trouble. His gargantuan limbs can and will be used against him. Also, Kwawi didn’t have ANY other offense outside of punching in his first (and only) fight. What happened, Kwawi? Someone miss leg day?

 

Outlook

He’s a circus freak. But he’s our circus freak and we love him. Let’s be real. He’s only had one fight. It’s too soon to tell how he’ll fare against more skilled competition. Kwawi’s got obvious advantages and disadvantages to his size. It appears he knows that, but so do his opponents. A true test of his mettle will come when he faces an opponent who has the skills to exploit his weakness. If he can evolve and overcome adversity, he will truly be a head above the rest.

 

 

 

 

[Kaufman]

Cage Warriors MMA – Warrior Facts

Deair “King” Shaw

 

*Camera pans around the studio and we see our co-hosts Jenkins Jennson and Kale “The Legend” Suanders sitting beside none other than Cage Warriors MMA Middleweight Deair “King” Shaw. He’s fidgeting in his seat slightly like it’s his first TV interview ever. With his wide-body frame, he looks like a chifforobe with a head. Jenkins and Kale look like to towers hovering next to him, but his ass can barely fit in the seat. Behind them are two monitors with the CWMMA logo shimmering across them. Jenkins appears to be fiddling with his chair height, he’s got his finger stuck and he is trying harder and harder to jerk it out, only increasing the looks of agony across his face. Kale looks over to Jenkins*

 

Kale “The Legend” Suanders: Jenkins, we’re on, are you ready to get started? muttering obscenities under his breath Jenkins Jennson: screeching in pain EEERRR I’m stuck Kale!!

 

Deair “King” Shaw: Are u gonna stop crying and start the interview?! I don't have time to waste on some damn fool who can't take his hand out of his chair.

 

Jenkins Jennson: *finally pulling his hand out of the chair in a dramatic gesturing, a tear coming down his cheek* I uhh sorry...

 

KS: Sorry for Jenkins, he got dropped on his head as a child

 

JJ: Actually, I was thrown. It’s a long story. You see my mom..*The Legend interjects*

 

KS: How you feeling today, Deair?

 

DS: I'm fine. I'm great, actually. How bout you, Kale? *Looks towards Jenkins and rolls his eyes* I'm not even gonna ask how you are, Jenkins.

 

KS: I'm always doing great, thanks for asking! I'm super pumped after watching the video of your first fight. We'll get to that later. First, you're a young man at 18, how'd you get into the fight game?

 

DS: I was a street fighter first, since I was 16. I figured if I'm gonna fight, I'ma fight for real money. Thousands. Not hundreds.

 

KS: But there's a huge difference in fighting teenage punks in alleys versus stepping in against trained professionals, dont you think?

 

DS: Yeah, but some of the guys I fought prepared me for this

 

KS: Why turn to street fighting in the first place? Why not do what most 16-year old kids do. Go to school and try to bang as many *realizes they're on tv* …drums…as possible?

 

DS: Hmm uh well School wasn't for us. My brother and I wanted to follow each other footsteps we both got into fighting. As far as woman *Deair smirks, raises an eyebrow slightly, and looks at the camera* let's just say I still gets it in.

 

JJ: *Jenkins piping in* Hey hey why do they call you King? Aren’t you still more “Prince” level?

 

DS: They call me King, that's part of my nickname, not my fight name. The full name is King Savage. I break rules, raise hell, and I don't care about what my opponent or anyone else has to say

 

JJ: You sound like you sound like an short, angry teenager whose mad because your parents forgot to water you when you were young. I mean, you've only had one fight. You don't feel like you have to earn the crown to be called the King?

 

KS: He's right, you know, Deair. This is pro MMA, not the streets. Don't be over here talking about breaking rules. We'll have the sanctioning bodies up our asses quicker than a donkey in a kickball factory.

 

DS: Haha you know what I mean, Legend. You were quite the hellraiser in your day, we’ve ALL heard stories. I didn’t mean breaking the rules in the cage. I'm a more respectable person now. And you’re right. It's not King Savage saying: I’m king of the ring. It's more of a lone wolf, bad boy thing. *Deair looks over at Jenkins with a look of irritation* And one more thing, Jenkins. I didn't say I was the King of fighting that's just a persona I carry. The ladies call me King, so I just go with it. I added the Savage part cause I'm just that open about who I am. King Savage is who I am. Deair "King" Shaw! Any more questions on why I call myself that?

 

*Deair begins to stand up. Even at his diminutive stature, he exudes a presence. Jenkins, frazzled, starts to stand up as well*

 

DS: You dumbass, I'm done talking to you. Don't say anything else to me. *Looks over to Kale* Kale, I'll talk to you, but not that dumbass. *nods over at Jenkins*

 

JJ: I’m just saying..only one figh…

 

*Just as JJ reaches the word “fight” Deair springs forward across Kale and pops Jenkins, open-handed, across the mouth. It all happens so quickly that no one even has a chance to react. Jenkins, mouth slightly bloodied, stumbles off his chair and retreats. Deair attempts to go after him but he is intercepted by Kale “The Legend” Suanders. Kale, at 6’4 270 Ibs. of molten rock reinforced with titanium rebar. Deair, undeterred, pushes forward and they clinch. All eyes in the studio and all the fans watching worldwide are locked on them. What’s going to happen next? Kale, the much bigger man engulfs Deair like a grizzly bear and it’s cub. Everyone knows that The Legend is an immovable object. Yet, to everyone’s surprise, despite being the much smaller man, Deair doesn’t budge. They clinch for what appears to be an eternity, but really only 3 seconds. Suddenly both men take a step back, look at each, simultaneously burst out laughing, and hug it out. They go back to their seats, composed, like nothing had happened. Jenkins is still shrinking back at the outer edges out the stage.*

 

KS: Get the hell outta here Jenkins, before Deair kills you. I’ll take it from here. *Looks over at Deair* Damn, man, you’re strong!

 

DS: Yeah. I am strong. I don't even work at it, I just am.

 

KS: The middleweight division is stacked. What separates you from the competition?

 

DS: What separates me from the competition is my toughness I don't care who u put in front of me, I don't back down I don't return fight offers. I don't run.

 

KS: Where is your game strongest? Where so you see opportunities for improvement?

 

DS: I'd say I'm more of a Maui Thai fighter. There are opportunities for improvement everywhere. I still new to this level. So I'm glad I get train before my first big fight. Good looking out, Cage Warriors.

 

KS: How is training? Looks like you’re training at Peak MMA Fight Club in NYC. How is that working out for you? We just featured Sam "The Salt" Salter on our show. He mentioned he also works out there, you know him?

 

DS: Everything is fine at the gym. I might have seen him training there, but I’m more focused on me though. It’s my time.

 

KS: Aren’t you a bit short for middleweight? How is that going to impact your fight strategy?

 

DS: Haha *Looks up at The Legend pretending to be angry for a second* You calling me short? *Deair smiles* I’m just messing with you, Kale. No disrespect. Short for middle weight? Yeah, I am. But I'll still get what I have to get done, done. It doesn't impact my fight strategy. I set my strategy based on my opponent.

 

KS: What is your diet looking like? You must be looking to get in shape as CWMMA events kick off in late October.

 

DS: My diet is good. And yes, I am trying into shape. Hopefully by my first fight, I'll be ready.

 

KS: Jenkins and I have talked on this show before about how broke up-and-coming fighters are. How are you surviving? You’re currently unsponsored. Should companies be looking in your direction? Why?

 

DS: I’ve always made my money fighting and I plan to keep doing that. Hopefully, sponsors will come. I'm new so I assume it’ll take time.

 

KS: Lets looks at your one pro fight..decision win against John Dro..wow that guy looks like he just got out of the penitentiary. Load it up, boys.

 

CLIP ROLLS

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dro swings wildly with an uppercut but Shaw uses good head movement to avoid it.
Dro has had enough of the clinch and is looking to separate.
Dro tries to stall but Shaw uses the opportunity to gain a better position.
Shaw jumps guard but Dro stands there with Shaw around his waist. Shaw gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
Shaw scores with a nice hook to the head.
BREAK CLINCH
Dro breaks from the clinch.
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by Shaw!
CUT
It looks like Josh Dro has been cut.
Dro takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Shaw tried to score with a low kick but Dro checks it.
That's four minutes gone in the round.

Nice takedown defense from Shaw. No joy for Dro on that attempt.
Dro moves out of range of the body kick.
Dro replies with a solid counter kick to the body but Shaw blocks it well.
Shaw tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Dro swivels and escapes.
Dro takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Dro moves out of range as Shaw throws a body kick.
CLINCH
Dro rushes Shaw and pushes him back against the cage in a clinch.
TAKEDOWN
Dro gets control of Shaw's arms and successfully pulls guard. Dro will no doubt be looking for submissions off his back.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Dro looking to control.
STANDUP
Shaw stands up and waves to Dro to follow him.
CLINCH
Shaw has Dro up against the cage in a clinch.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

 

KS: Good work there. You kept it up the whole fight! Clinches and well-rounded striking. Was this what you had planned prefight?

 

DS: Yeah, it was what my coaches and I had planned prefight. We figured this was the right way to go and it worked out. Of course, it could've went horribly wrong.

 

KS: I’m glad it didn’t go wrong. That’s all the questions we have for today. Deair, thank you for joining us. I’m sure the fans enjoyed it. Hey Deair, just one more thing.

 

*Deair leans in and Kale lowers his massive head down to Deair’s level and gets right into his face. Most men would cower. Most men would already be dead. But Deair “King” Shaw stares back, unflinching, like stone-cold killer, into the eyes of The Legend.*

 

KS: You ever touch Jenkins again, I’ll tear off your little doughboy arms and choke you out with them. He may be a sweater-wearing, badminton pansy, but that pansy saved my life. He’s off limits. You got it?

 

*Deair listens, but does not react until after The Legend completes his sentence. After a brief, intense stare-down, Deair nods once, barely noticeably, in acknowledgment. The Legend returns the nod as a sign of respect. The men disengage and all is back to normal. After a moment, Kale looks at the camera*

 

KS: Aaaand now, it’s time for Warrior Facts Breakdown:

 

Deair “King” Shaw

Middleweight Division

Record: 1-0-0 (W-L-D)

Total Opponent Record: 0-1-0

Dominant Fighting Style: Muay Thai

Standup

Head punch: 2.0 (2.0) 100%

Body punch: 5.0 (2.0) 40%

Punch combo: 7.0 (4.0) 57%

Head kick: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Leg kick: 1.0 (0.0) 0%

Body kick: 11.0 (3.0) 27%

Takedown: 14.0 (0.0) 0%

Clinchwork

Head punch: 1.0 (1.0) 100%

Body punch: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Elbow: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Knee head: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Knee body: 0.0 (0.0) 0%

Takedowns: 5.0 (1.0) 20%

Groundwork

Improve pos: 1.0 (0.0) 0%

Strikes: 1.0 (0.0) 0%

Sub attempts: 1.0 (0.0) 0%

Strengths

Deair showed an impressive well-rounded stand up attack in his first and only outing. Equally as impressive was his defense. He only took 3 strikes in the entire fight and his opponent couldn’t generate barely any offense, standing or on the ground. This could be because his team has found a tactical sweet spot. If so, he will keep achieving decision wins.

 

Weaknesses

If our known variable is Deair’s striking, our unknown variables are, well, everything else. None of his takedowns were successful. While he and his opponent both appeared to want to clinch and did so for approximately 25% of the fight, Deair made virtually no progress during that time. Same could be said about the time they spent on the ground. Neither fighter did anything.

 

Outlook

Deair “King” Shaw looks like a refrigerator turned sideways. He’s young, dumb, and full of energy. That just means he’s got tons of room for improvement. Which is not to say he’s not already pretty good. Making a prediction would be fruitless in such a dense middleweight division this early on. We’ll have to wait and see how this mohawked mini-man fares in his first outing.

[robin10]

WEEKEND ROUNDUP

 

Hey guys, this is your owner Matty Fernandez bringing to you the latest on all the latest developments in and around Caged Warriors MMA...so let's not waste anymore time, and get straight into it.

 

UPDATES:-

 

A) NEW SIGNINGS:

 

As you all have probably already seen,we have signed a lot of new talents in the past couple of weeks (94 to be exact at this point of time),some at the very beginning of their careers...some rather experienced,and tell you what... we plan to sign loads more in the near future. Now, there has been some very eye catching new recruits among them too (who can be seen if you scroll above)...so all in all, in the recruitment side of things at least, its been a rather fiery start from us, and i plan to keep it that way too.

 

B)FIRST EVENT:

 

Now i am pretty sure all of you are well aware of this too, cause if you are not...then,well, idc...anyways, i diverted...So, what i meant to say was, Caged Warriors MMA will be hosting it's first event on the 24th of October, and woah, i really cannot wait for that event for that event,cause tell you what...the matchups which have been made for that particular event....ARE NASTY AF! and hence, if you are not a fan of big-ass KO'S or quick submissions, then please don't watch it...cause believe me, you will get to see a lot of those.

 

C) POSTERS:

 

Posters for the event will be made very soon.

 

D) PREVIEWS AND REVIEWS:

 

The preview will be made 1-2 weeks before the event.

 

E) FIGHTER PROFILES:

 

So far, we have posted about 3-4 fighter profiles, and in the coming weeks, we plan to post many more...so please do let us know if you are interested in us making a fighter profile of your guy,or interview him.

 

F) BOOKING FOR SECOND EVENT:

 

I will be willing to listen to requests for booking a spot for your fighter in the second event...so if ya'll want your guy to compete in our second event...then send me a PM please.

 

G) CONTRACT REQUESTS:

 

Our 135,145 and 155lbs divisions are very short in number, so anyone willing to join will be greatly appreciated.

 

H) FIGHT OFFER DECLINE:

 

If i have sent you a fight offer, and you feel that your guy needs more time to prepare, then you have the full right to decline a fight...but with proper reasons, and also giving me a time period of how much more time your guy needs to prepare for the fight.

 

I) POST EVENT BONUSES:

 

There will be bonuses for FOTN, KO OTN, SUB OTN, as usual.

 

 

That's all for now, good luck to all competing in the first event, and have a great day!

[Kaufman]

CWMMA LIVE: Interview with Floki Magnusson

 

*Scene opens at entrance of an ice rink. A blonde woman in her mid-twenties dressed in business attire with a couple of overcoats added approaches the booth at the entrance with a man carting a camera on his shoulder in tow. The woman ducks her head down to the opening of the booth. Starring back at her is a cheery-looking middle aged woman with looks of a hockey mom and some sort of animal mascot on her sweater. Hockey mom lifts open the window and as she does a noticeable bit of warm air escapes into the cool Reykjavik night*

 

Hockey Mom: *big smile* Good evening, how can I help you? Oh, just so you know public sessions doesn’t start for another few hours, so…*notices camera* What’s that doing here? Are you filming a movie or something?? Oh, I better put my make-up on. *Shouts back to the other woman in the booth* I’M GOING TO BE A MOVIE STAR!

 

Matilda Virtanen: *Takes a deep breath and nervously responds* My na..I..I’m Matilda Virtanen. New reporter with uh Caged Warriors MMA… *Matilda goes blank*

 

Hockey Mom: Welcome Mati, new reporter from, what was it, Caged Warriors MMA. What can we do for you at the ice arena? We don’t have too many fights here. Most players here just play for fun after work and on weekends. Most of these geezers are too old and decrypt to fight anyways, right Rita? *voice behind her responds affirmatively*

 

Matilda Virtanen: Well..I…actually, they sent me here to interview a player. I mean, he’s not a player, he’s a fighter…but they told me he plays ice hockey here *points at the ground* So uhh his name is Floki Magnusson.

 

*Hockey Mom’s cheery disposition turns momentarily sour*

 

HM: Why would you want to talk to that SOB?

 

MV: I don’t understand. Isn’t he from here?

 

HM: Listen Mati, he grew up here and he was a good, polite kid. He even played Hockey on a team with my eldest. But after that loss at the Goodwill Games he just changed. And pardon my language, but he's been a gosh-darn prick ever since. You want to talk to him? *Looks back into the ice arena behind her* He’s on the ice right now. Go see for yourself. But don’t say I didn’t warn ya.

 

*Matilda and the Cameraman take a few steps into the arena. It looks like an aircraft hanger with an ice rink plopped in the middle surrounded by crude bleachers*

 

Cameraman: Matilda, you know, you don’t have to introduce yourself as the new reporter ever time…

 

*Matilda and the Cameraman walk up to the boards and plexiglass surrounding the rink. There is a hockey game going on. Most of the players are operating at about 50% having spent most of the day toiling. One player immediately stands out in his intensity level. He is similar height to his cohorts, but with a clearly more athletic build, even noticeable with pads. Every few seconds he crashes his way to the puck leveling everyone in his way with reckless abandon. Soon after they approach, he is sent to the penalty box for the countless time. This time, for elbowing another player in the face. leaving the poor weekend warrior in a bloody heap on the ice. Mati and the camera use this as an opportunity to capture some footage. They approach a couple of old-timers sitting on a bench removing their gear. Mati sweet-talks them into appearing on camera while the camera man sets up*

 

MV: Hello fight fans, my name is Matilda Virtanen. New…uhh..reporter for Caged Warriors MMA. We are here today in Reykjavík, Iceland. The hometown of CWMMA Heavyweight Floki Magnu…

 

Old Timer 1: *Interrupting* Heavyweight asshole. Yeah, Floki’s a heavyweight asshole. Haha right? *nudges Old Timer 2*

 

Old Timer 2: Yes, that is right. Look how he plays *motions to the ice behind them*

 

MV: It sounds like you know Mr. Magnusson. He recently signed with fight organization CWMMA. His aggressiveness will serve him well, no?

 

Old Timer 1: In the cage! But not here. We’re here to have fun. This is an amateur evening hockey league, not the NHL. Half of the guys who play here work at the Geothermal plant. The most competitive hockey they’ve ever played is on their computers. See the guy whose face he just re-arranged? *points to the heaping pile attempting to extricate himself from the ice* He’s a dentist! Now he has to give himself a new set of teeth. Is that even possible??

 

MV: What changed with him? I understand he was not always like this.

 

OT1: Ever since he lost that game to the Team USA at the Junior Goodwill Games, he’s never been the same. He just become…bitter and angry. Never forgave himself.

 

OT2: And he’s been a prick to everyone since. Funny thing is, we all forgot about that game years ago. He’s the only one that’s never forgotten. No one cares about Hockey here. We were surprised to even place second in that tournament. I mean, Gordon Bombay, he’s in the hall of fame now. The Mighty Ducks? They become an NHL Team. Placing second to them was a win.

 

OT1: And that coach, Wolf Stansson. He should have never been allowed around those kids. After the tournament we learned that guy was more coked up than a stripper on spring break. He rode more rails than a bullet train, that one. I hear since he got out of prison, he opened up a franchise. Some Karate dojo named Python Hai or something like that.

 

OT2: It’s Viper-do Karate!

 

*Scene opens in the arena’s locker room. Matilda Virtanen is standing alongside a much taller Floki Magnusson. Magnusson is sporting a pristine Team Cro Cop shirt by HELLBENT. He appears annoyed and unaware that they have gone live*

 

Floki Magnusson: *Poking his finger at Matilda’s face* …Like, I said. The only reason I’m doing this is because Kaufman’s guy told me if I didn’t…*Floki and Matilda both realize the are live and Matilda stirs into action*

 

MV: My name is Matilda Virtanen, Caged Warrior MMA Reporter and I just recently start…opps. I mean, I’m here today interviewing CWMMA fighter Floki Magnusson. Floki, how are you feeling about your new contract with CWMMA? This is your first pro MMA Deal are you rearing to get started?

 

FM: Come on, spit your words out, woman. I don’t have the time to waste on you stuttering about. You want to know how I feel? I don’t feel anything about it. I haven’t even seen the paper. Kaufman’s people deal with the business. I haven’t seen a penny. All I know is that I get a call telling me to go to this gym and to eat this and to wear that. At least the gear *Looks down at shirt* and the gym aren’t bad. But I just do what the person on the phone tells me. Do I like it? No, I’d rather play Hockey. But when you get your balls in the vice grip of that damn Russian, you better do what your told, yeah. You know, what? It’s time to change the topic.

 

MV: *Looks around nervously* Well umm…What can you tell us about your next fight with Matteo "Cabron" Sanchez?

 

FM: *Looks down at Matilda and scowls* You are going to waste your questions on him? Why not ask me about the true great heavyweight fighters…Tie Domi, Bob Probert. Because there isn’t much to say about Mat-teo. Except that he’s feo. You didn’t do your research did you, new reporter Virtanen. He’s got no fights. No record. Nothing. You look at photos, clips of the guy. He looks tired. So no, I’m not worried. But I don’t have a choice now, do I. Kaufman’s people are saying “win only.”

 

MV: Would you like to talk to the fans about how training is going?

 

FM: Training. It’s going. No, I would not like to talk to the fans about it. This interview is getting tedious, new reporter Matilda Virtanen. I have a beer at the bar that I’d rather talk to than you. Unless you want to come along and promise to shut your mouth?

 

MV: No. No, thank you, Mr. Magnusson. That will conclude our interview. For CWMMA, I’m rookie reporter…doh…just regular reporter, Matilda Virtanen, in Reykjavík, Iceland sending it over to you Kale.

 

*Kale “The Legend” Suanders appears on screen with the studio in the backdrop. Kale grabs the baton…*

 

Kale “The Legend” Suanders: Thank you, Matilda. Hmm I’ve never seen you around here. You must be new. And now your Warrior Facts Breakdown!

 

Floki Magnusson

Heavyweight Division

Record: 1-0-0 (W-L-D)

Total Opponent Record: 0-1-0

Dominant Fighting Style: Kickboxing/Hockey fights

Standup

Head punch: 0 (0)

 

Body punch: 0 (0)

 

Combos: 1 (0)

 

Head kick: 0 (0)

 

Leg kick: 0 (0)

 

Body kick: 1 (1)

 

Takedowns: 7 (7)

 

Clinches: 3 (3)

 

Clinchwork

 

Head punch: 0 (0)

 

Body punch: 0 (0)

 

Elbow: 0 (0)

 

Knee head: 0 (0)

 

Knee body: 0 (0)

 

Takedowns: 1 (1)

 

Groundwork

 

Improve pos: 4 (3)

 

GNP: 7 (5)

 

Subs: 3 (0)

 

Strengths

Not a ton is not about Magnusson. His known abilities demonstrate capacity for wrestling and Muay Thai. His first and only outing provides evidence of an ability to dictate the pace of the fight and determine where it goes. He is dominant in the clinch and when takedown opportunities present themselves. His fight yielded an astonishing 100% takedown completion and clinch rates, while his opponent could only muster little offense.

 

Weaknesses

While proving competent in his ability to transition and inflict damage on the ground he was relatively quiet on his feet, perhaps creating an opening for future opposition. At the same time, he took 50% of the head shots thrown at him. That might work with Tonio, but a fighter with KO power could capitalize.

 

Outlook

Floki’s off to a good start. He’s most certainly dangerous. And unpredictable. As with any new fighter, we have to wait and see if his first fight is demonstrative of future bouts. Floki has the size, strength, and ability to control fights. Yet, one TKO proves not finishing ability. Controlling the fight is great if you want to eek out the occasionally decision win that puts even insomniacs to sleep. This is the Cage Warriors, it’s finish or be finished.

[robin10]

IK it's been a hell of a wait...but the preview for the first event is coming out within the next couple days..so stay tuned!!!

And guys,the pre-match press-conference that we all have been waiting for is going to be posted next week...so stay tuned for that too!!! There's gonna be loads of very good stuff that we have lined up for you in the next few weeks leading up to the event...so until then,Take care and fight on!!

[Kaufman]

Caged Warriors MMA: A New Dawn

10-24-20

Preview Pt. 1

The moment we have all been waiting for will be upon us in just weeks as Caged Warriors MMA opens with its first EVER event, A New Dawn. The night of fights will be held at the Helsinki Micro Arena. With Helsinki Xtreme Fightwear on as Merchandise Partner. Because entering the cage naked is not only frowned upon, it’s also against the rules. Matchmaker John Wayne has ensured we have a spectacular night of fights in store. Let’s take a look.

[/size]

This has the potential to be an epic battle! Both Sam Salter and Al Barru have proven themselves ready for a step up in competition, with only two losses in a combined 12 QFC fights. To the naked eye, Barru has the definite advantage if the fight remains vertical. However, out of 12 combined pro wins, a big fat zero have come by way of KO or TKO. Neither has shown the acumen or desire to stand and bang. At the end of the day, this comes down to the age-old question of BJJ vs. wrestling. Salter, a BJJ brown belt, has all 8 of his wins by submission. While Barru, a standout wrestler (and BJJ blue belt) splits his 4 wins, with 2 by submission and 2 by decision. If his two decision wins are an indication, Barru will try to grind this out, but don’t be surprised if he opts to keeps this one standing. Salter will likely employ the strategy that has worked splendidly for him so far, sub attempts from the moment the bell rings. He is going to need to be at the very top of his game as he is giving up 15 cm (5.9 inches) in height and walks around UNDER the 135-pound limit. Barru, the bigger man, will barely be making 135. This one is very exciting and really could go either way.

Prediction: It’s impossible to ignore Sam Salter’s 8 submission wins. We’re going with Salty’s BJJ action by the first-round submission.


True fight fans will really be looking forward to this one as it will be true test of tactical wits. Both Nobunaga and Legs are BJJ Brown Belts. Except this one to go to the ground. What happens at that point is anyone’s guess as the skills these two warriors possess are nearly identical. Nobunaga hold a slight edge in wrestling and Legs stands 16 cm taller, we will see if either of these are a factor. Nobunaga also holds the edge if we look at their records with 3 wins and no losses to Legs’ 2-2. All wins have come by way of submission. Noteworthy, that all of Legs losses have also come by way of submission.

Prediction: Nobunaga, second round submission. Safe choice here. All things equal Nobunaga holds edge were both fighters excel.


We have another monumental fight here. Two very respectable fighters looking to stay undefeated. Maldini with 1 KO and 1 Decision. Thomas with an outstanding record of 4 Decision wins. Let’s look deeper into these four wins, shall we. The game plan is similar, an entrée of well-rounded boxing, takedowns, and ground and pound. Normal so far, what makes it impressive and dangerous is the accuracy. Just head punches, out of 115 thrown in four fights, Thomas landed 111. Maldini is no slouch, with respectable boxing and 15-second TKO win in his first fight. Looking at his second win. A supremely dominant unanimous decision. Maldini threw 122 total strikes…and he LANDED 122 total strikes. He made his opponent’s face look like ground beef. He also stuffed a whopping 37/38 takedowns.

Prediction: Really hard to call. Maldini split decision. It’s going to be a damn slug fest. Can’t wait.


This is one of those fights that could end up anywhere. Magnusson and Sanchez only have one fight between them. If we look at Magnusson’s performance, it is clear he will want to dictate the pace and level of the fight. It is unclear whether he will be able to do so against a game opponent like Cabron. A simple review reveals Boxing and BJJ in Sanchez’s favor, while Floki has the edge in wrestling and MuayThai. All this adds more to our confusion because both could prevail at any level. Magnusson will be the older, slightly more experienced man in the cage. Magnusson wakes around 10 IBS heavier, but gives up a 5 cm height advantage.

Prediction: Iceland by 2^nd round TKO


This one is straight out of Thailand. Both men have, in their brief careers, shown a propensity and impeccable accuracy in the clinch. Mad dog obliterating 3 opponents, 2 in the very first round. The Rhyno doing the same in his one and only outing. With the aggressiveness these men have already demonstrated we are going to call this one out for a fight of the night award. This is not the fight to take a bathroom break for. Unless you have a TV in your bathroom, of course. It will be non-stop action. A few further notes here, Mad dog stands at a whopping 199 cm. That’s all arms and legs. He should be called mad giraffe. Gerin, not known to miss a meal when not in training, walks around at 280 Ibs. He will be the wider of the fighters. One thing to watch out for is the Rhyno’s wrestling, if he can use his strength and far superior ability to keep Contreiras on the ground, he may just be able to put down the Mad Dog.

Prediction: Mad dog by decision

To Be Continued

[Kaufman]

Caged Warriors MMA: A New Dawn

10-24-20

Preview Pt. 2

If like betting underdogs, look no further than Da Two, in Nansen vs. Two. Casual observation demonstrates a skill advantage for the 19-year-old Nansen in Muay Thai, Wrestling, and BJJ. Da “Goods” Two two chances…his left and his right. He’s got to keep this fight standing and at a distance. The young Viking also has two grappling matches under his belt. Da Two must use his freakishly tall physique and poke holes in Torden with his long, long jab. He simply isn’t good enough to go to the ground with Nansen and isn’t built for it.

Prediction: Torden first round TKO


CWMMA brings you a special match-up here. Two 18-year-olds stepping into the cage as professionals for the very first time. The tattooed, self-styled Cebu City Boss versus the fresh-faced, Finnish philosopher. We know they can throw hands, but what else? Perhaps Ungart will attempt to clinch as a path to victory or maybe Stones will grind, ground and pound his way to a first win. A highlight finish for either could be the start to a very promising career.

Prediction: IsoG by split decision


Another set of 18-year-old Warriors making their debuts at A New Dawn. This one appears to be somewhat lopsided. Said George is the bigger and taller man. He also has higher attributes in each martial art, especially boxing. At 18 and with no fights to their credit, there are so many unknowns here. While George may have spent time sparring, it is quite possible Nolan spent time on technique and getting his conditioning up. It’s all good if George is skilled, but if he gasses out, that could mean the end of him.

Prediction: “Sir” Saint George will please his lord with a first round KO


A classic boxer vs. Muay Thai kickboxer match-up. With Gold Fist looking to us his uhh fists while Boozer will likely seek to kick his way into a clinch. Taih is not unstoppable having been unscrupulously dispossessed of his consciousness in his first and only pro fight. Both have skills in wrestling and BJJ so if this affair hits the canvas, fans could be in for a treat.

Prediction: Gold Fist by 2^nd round TKO


Fight fans will see this match at the outset as relatively even. The key difference is Sleeth leans on wrestling and BJJ, while Mikolajczyk maintains the advantage standing. It will come down to whether Sleeth and take him down and keep him there. If he can keep it on the ground, he’s got a good chance at victory. Miko’s decision loss in his first fight tells us that he can be defeated by a competent boxer. Sleeth is not exactly that but he’s got plenty of tools to finish this one

Prediction: Sleeth gets the Dubbya by first round tapout

Pre-Fight Press Conference Next Week

[robin10]

The pre-fight press conference is coming up tomorrow, stay tuned to watch what unfolded in the moments when all the fighters finally faced up to their respective opponents,and got a feeling of what's in store for them in our epic first event.

[Kaufman]

CAGE WARRIORS MMA: A NEW DAWN

PRE-FIGHT PRESS EVENT

*Scene opens in a large rectangular with a high ceiling. A conference room at the Helsinki Micro Arena. Against the wall on the long side of the room is a backdrop with alternating squares displaying logos for Cage Warriors MMA and Helsinki Xtreme Fightwear. Directly in front of the backdrop is a long table draped with a black cloth. In the middle stands a podium emblazoned with the CWMMA logo and a mic fixed to the top. The long table holds two white placards on each side of the podium and small mic behind each. Reporters, fight teams, seedy characters, groupies, and random onlookers are seated in rows of folding chairs in front of the table and backdrop. There are several photographers milling around in front of the table. The media is seated conveniently in the front few rows. They are engaged in a mix of either pounding the screens of their smart phone devices or reviewing their paper notepads, for the more seasoned members of the press corp. The camera is centered on the table and podium. The murmur of small talk hushes as an announcer’s voice is heard*

 

Announcer: Now presenting, the owner of Cage Warriors MMA…Matty Fernaaandeeeez.

 

*The mishmash behind the rows of media applauds politely. A few whistles pierce the air. Matty Fernandez emerges from the door at the corner of the room, adjacent to where one end of the backdrop begins. He takes his time walking along one end of the table until he reaches the podium, stopping a few times to acknowledge the crowd. There is a palatable feeling of excitement and anticipation in the air as the audience eagerly await for Matty to open CWMMA’s first ever pre-fight press conference. Upon arriving at the podium, Matty takes his time adjusting the microphone. He is dressed in a business casual style with dark jeans, a tucked-in shirt with the first two top buttons undone, and a sports coat. In an apparent attempt to be “smooth” Matty casually reaches into the inside chest pocket of his coat, “swiftly” removes a small flask, and places it on the inside of the lectern. He then takes his cell phone out of his back pocket and places it on the lectern directly in front of him. He surveys the audience and allows a few extra seconds for the moment to sink in*

 

Matty Fernandez: Welcome to Cage Warriors MMA! I am Matty Fernandez and I am so excited to welcome each and every one of you who joined us here in person and also those *looks into middle camera* who are joining us on TV and streaming. This really is a momentous occasion, it is our first press conference for our first ever card, CWMMA: A New Dawn.

 

*The audience behind the rows of media erupt in a jovial cheer*

 

MF: *Smiles widely and acknowledges cheers* Thank you. Believe me, I’m just as excited as you are. Here is how we will proceed with today’s festivities. We will bring out four fighters at a time *looks from one end of table to the other and then at crowd* because with the size of some of these fellas, that’s all we have space for, and we will take questions. Now, I have to warn the media, we have had issues with *clears his throat* animosity towards reporters in the past. So just consider that before you decide to get cheeky with one of our guys again. Let’s try to keep it professional on both ends, shall we? Now, let’s get on with our first four warriors! Are we ready?!

 

*Crowd lets out a vocal, but muted cheer*

 

MF: No, that’s not going to pass muster, guys. This is Cage Warriors MMA. Let the world hear us. ARE YOU READY!?!?

 

*Crowd goes WILD. Matty basks in it for several drawn out seconds and then puts his palm up and the cheers begin to subside*

 

Announcer: Please help us welcome the following Cage Warriors!

 

These next three fighters are based right here in Helsinki. Fighting out of right here in Helsinki:

 

…Duuuustin Sleeeeeth

 

…Paaatryk Miiiikolaaaajzyk

 

…William “Boozer” Gray…

 

And fighting out of Los Angeles, California…Eeeeden “Goold Fist” Taaaiiiihhh

 

*As the announcer reads the names, Dustin Sleeth and William Gray file out and walk over to their chairs on opposite ends of the podium, they shake hands with Matty and take their seats. Matty looks around and then stretches over the podium to get a better view at the door. A young aide scurries over and whispers something in Matty’s ear. Matty looks at her and nods*

 

 

MF: Welcome Dustin and William. Gentlemen, good to see both of you. I have been informed that your opponents have decided to bypass the press conference. Apparently, it is not in fighter contracts to appear at press events.

 

*The fighters on stage look around surprised. A few people in the audience, realizing they don’t actually have to be there, get up and walk out*

 

MF: *annoyed* I’m going to be having some serious conversations with my lawyers. Someone shat the bed on this one, I’m afraid. Let’s get to the questions, whose first? Vernita? Go ahead.

 

Vernita Perkins: Good afternoon, gentlemen. I had a question ready, but I’m going to ask this one to both of you instead. Your opponents decided not to show up today. Do you think they’re scared?

 

*There is a momentary silence*

 

Dustin Sleeth: *pulls mic closer to his face* I guess I’ll start. I’m not going to comment on whether or not he is scared. Here’s what I think of him. *Dustin slaps placard the placard next to him with Patryk Mikolajczyk’s name on it causing it to fall off the table on to the floor* I’ve been waiting for this my whole life, he’s just a stepping stone to the belt.

 

William “Boozer” Gray: Los Angeles is a long way from Helsinki so maybe he got caught in traffic or something. I think he better stay put where he’s at. All respect to you, Eden, but I don’t think you have a chance in this fight.

 

MF: Okay, who’s got the next question? Oh, we’ve got “The Legend” Kale Suanders in the house. Sir, the floor is yours.

 

“The Legend” Kale Suanders: Hey Matty, great to be here. This one is for both fighters as well. When you look at your opponents in this fight what do you view as your strengths?

 

DS: Wow, Mr. Suanders. I used to watch you as a kid. I remember that time you fought in the Kumite in Hong Kong and beat Chong Li, that was crazy. We had to find a bootleg VHS to see that one. To answer your question, my grappling is much better than his. If I can get him down, he will go out.

 

The Legend: Thanks, kid. Go ahead, Boozer.

 

WBG: *Looks over to Dustin Sleeth* Hey I’m going to need to borrow that Kumite tape. When it comes to advantages in this fight…I can be with him anywhere. On the ground, or on the feet. Doesn't matter, I can take him anywhere.

 

The Legend: Follow up for you, Will. Given your Muay Thai, are you going to be trying to close the distance with Eden in this fight?

 

WBG: Yes, I’m going to KO him.

 

MF: Thank you for those questions, Legend. Feel free to just pipe in any time. No need to raise your hand like the rest of these amateurs. Alright, oh hey, we’ve got new reporter Matilda Virtennen. Mati, you want to ask a question?

 

*Matilda mumbles indiscernibly*

 

MF: Mati, use your big girl voice. We need you to speak right into the mic.

 

Matilda Virtennen: *yelling* THANK YOU! Ok uhh this is our…your first fights in the CWMMA? What are your goals for the future?

 

WBG: I want to have great fights here at CWMMA and maybe even fight for the belt at some time here.

 

DS: I want to build my legacy and be the best champion in history!

 

MF: Great job, guys. Let’s give it up for Dustin Sleeth and William “Boozer” Gray.

 

*Crowd cheers as Dustin and William join their teams seated at various parts of the room*

 

Announcer: Please help us welcome the following Cage Warriors!

 

Fighting out of London…”Siir” Saaaaint Geeeooorrrrge

 

Fighting out of Las Vegas…Chrriiiistopher “Knuuuckleess” Nollaaaan.

 

Fighting out of New York…”Unnngaaart” EeeLLL IsoooooG

 

Finally, let’s welcome hometown hero, based in Helsinki…Leeeevi “Stooones” Saaarrrrooos

 

*The fighters shuffle out and take their seats. Saint George is conspicuously missing from the foursome*

 

 

MF: Good to see you all here, Warriors. We were notified earlier that Saint George would not be able to join us today. It appears that him and his team do not travel without their full knight’s regalia, including full body armor and swords. Someone did not fill out the requisite paperwork, and well, they got jammed up at Heathrow. I assure you, folks, they are getting better at this. There are rumors that for one of his amateur fights, Saint George’s cornerman tried to bring his horse on the plane with him by claiming it was a registered therapy dog. First question, Tim, I see you have your hand raised. Go for it.

 

“The Instigator” Tim Collins: This is for Christopher. You are looking fit, but your opponent is a modern-day knight. That takes an enormous amount of discipline and athleticism. I’ve heard some out there say you should be nervous, what’s your response?

 

Christopher “Knuckles” Nolen: I don’t take it too seriously. Honestly, he looks more like a squire than a knight.

 

TC: Thanks, Christopher. My next question is for Leevi…

 

*Just as Tim Collins says this a group of fans in the back row stand up and unfurl a large flag of Finland. They begin to chant*

 

SA-ROS…SA-ROS…SA-ROS…SA-ROS…SA-ROS…SA-ROS.

 

*Collins waits for them to complete the salute to their hero and continues his question*

 

TC: It looks like you have a cheering section here. You are fighting IsoG on your home turf, in front of your fans. Does this excite and motivate you? Or add unnecessary pressure?

 

Leevi “Stones” Saros: *Looks at Tim Collins with only a slight turn of his head, takes a couple of second and responds in a calm, even tone* Fighting on the soil of my father and forefathers is definitely a motivational and inspirational special event. In Finland, in general, we are humble, hardworking people. We also want to succeed in life and make our fellow citizen proud of what we do, be it a big or a small task. This combination adds certain "silent pressure" for one to perform to the expectations of many. Despite all this, I stay in solitude and believe in my skills. What comes, comes.

 

TC: eL, you find yourself facing a hometown hero with vocal supporters *Saros fans let out a cheer* why should fans bet on you in this one?

 

“Ungart” eL IsoG: *leans back in his chair relaxed and picks up the mic* It’s easy, man. You see here *motions points to himself* the future of the game. I know the fans love fighting brawl and if it was legal to kill in that cage, I would kill and the fans love that. And it’s me man, their money is not a waste if they bet on me.

 

MF: Settle down there, eL, we want all of our fighters alive. Or we can’t book them on another card hehe *laughs at his own joke* Vernita, looks like you have a question. Shoot!

 

VP: Christopher, you and your opponent both have impressive Muay Thai, what gives you the edge and how do you think this one will end?

 

CNK: I think this match will go all the way and I will win, because I want it more.

 

MF: *Sees Jenkins Jennson jumping up and down in his seat flailing his outstretched arm* What the…? Sir, questions at this event are for members of the media only.

 

Jenkins Jennson: *flustered, his glasses fogging up* But…But sir, I work for Cage Warriors *waves his press credential in the air* You were the one who hired me, remember?

 

MF: *Looks closer at Jenkins* Oh right, it’s you. Fine, ask your question.

 

JJ: Mr. Nolan, why do they call you “knuckles?”

 

CNK: *Looks down at his fists* My friends think that my knuckles look like spikes, hard and sharp, just like the Echidna.

 

MF: Tim, you have another question for eL and Leevi?

 

TC: I do, Matty. eL, you bring a certain swagger to pro MMA. I mean, with those tattoos it is not like you can go work in an office somewhere. What do you say to fans and fighters alike who may question your lifestyle?

 

eL: Bro, since I was a kid I love punching people out. ‘Specially those bullies. This who I am, a modern hero.

 

TC: Leevi, what you think of eL? Do you approve or disapprove of his lifestyle?

 

LSS: I'm not interested of his lifestyle. Whatever floats his boat, more power to him. Heck, mine doesn't even float, mine sinks *smiles* As I collect stones. Yes, I collect stones, in different colors and shapes. Can't get more exciting than this, right? Haha! Have been collecting these *picks a stone from his training shorts* since I was a pre-teen. I dunno what is it about these boring, thankless, lifeless stones, but I do get this weirdly eternal and ageless feeling gathering and watching them just being, still, in time. But yeah, we all have our own swagger, some little more inconspicuous than others.

 

*As Saros completes the sentence, he stands up slow and turns to the podium, which he was sitting next to. As he stands up, eL also sitting next to the podium stands up and suddenly they are facing off with only a surprised Matty Fernandez between them. Leevi is standing peacefully his arms at his sides. He slowly raises his arm and neutrally extends his palm towards his opponent, revealing the stone he had removed from his shorts earlier. He places the stone on the podium precisely between him and eL, not exactly offering the stone to his opponent, but not keeping it either. It lays there between them for what seems like an eternity. Meanwhile, eL IsoG, not knowing what to make of this obscure scene, cocks his head sideways looking straight at Saros with a look of confusion and disgust. He looks at Saros and then at the stone between them*

 

eL: I don’t have time for this weird ass shit, fuck you! *eL extends two middle fingers at Saros mere inches from his face, Saros does not react*

 

*eL IsoG slaps the stone of the podium sending it flying to an undisclosed location. He then turns and stalks off towards the exit slapping his mic off the table along the way causing a loud thud. Saros remains nearly motionless at the podium as if the entire scene barely even occurred. He emits a tiny smile as if to say he remains in control of his surroundings and returns tranquilly back to his seat*

 

MF: Eh ok. Well no one got hurt this time, so that’s good. *sarcastically* Great job Tim, are you trying to get these going before the 24^th? Anything else you want to tell the fans, Leevi?

 

LSS: Yes. First, I want to thank Mr. John Wayne, the CEO of Caged Warriors. My sincerest gratitude to Mr. Wayne for giving me the opportunity to show my skills under his protected wings. Let’s see how far this one flies. And I would like to say this to eL - May the better fighter win. Let’s make it a solid one.

 

MF: Well done. It looks like we don’t have any more questions for you two. Let’s get our next group up here.

 

*Matty “swiftly” reaches to the side of the lectern and quickly takes a swig from his flask. As he tries to place it back, he accidentally drops it spilling some of the contents. In that moment the cell phone he had placed in front of him on the podium starts to vibrate so violently the audience could literally see it up and down. Matty looks down, a look of fear crosses his face. He attempts to ignore the vibrating phone, but it is both not ceasing and shaking enough to move the entire podium. Exasperated, Matty reaches down and hits the answer button. He puts the phone to his ear and moves away from the podium for privacy. Of course, mic is still on*

 

MF: Honey…I…It was just wa…I know I know I promis…baby baby please baby please. Alright, but I’m in the middl…this is my job. I’m not just hanging out with my budd. Fine, ok, I’ll pick up diapers on the way home. I can’t talk rii…Ok, hang on…*Looks back at audience* Umm ok ladies and gentlemen. We are uhh, let’s just go to the special presentation.

 

*Matty gets back on the phone and moves to the side of the room pleading vigorously for forgiveness for the person on the other end of the phone. A massive screen comes down from the ceiling in front of the table, chairs, and podium. The black screen begins to flash a neon green X, the x starts small and keeps getting bigger…

xXXXXXXX

HELSINKI XTREME FIGHTWEAR

ANNOUNCER: CWMMA IS PROUD TO PRESENT OUR MERCH PARTNER:

HEEEEELSINKI XXXXXTREME FIIIIIIGHTWEEEEAAAAAR!!

*HELSINKI XTREME FIGHTWEAR APPEARS ON THE SCREEN. HIGHLIGHT REEL OF HXF-SPONSORED FIGHTERS ANIHILATING OPPONENTS ROLLS IN THE BACKGROUND BEHIND A NOW TRANSPARENT LOGO*

 

*FINNISH DEATH METAL BLARES ON THE SPEAKERS*

ANNOUNCER: HELSINKI XTREME FIGHTWEAR – THE ONLY TRUE CLOTHING COMPANY IN HELSINKI

*A SLIDE SHOW OF HXF APPAREL INTERMIXED WITH SPONSORED FIGHTERS WEARING HXF AT COMMUNITY EVENTS RUNS WITH MUSIC IN BACKGROUND.

*GREEN AND RED PYROTECHNICS EXPLODE OUT OF NOWHERE*

*THE SCREEN BEGINS TO FADE TO COMPANY STATS IN BOLD GREEN LETTERS IN CONJUNCTION WITH PYROTECHNICS*

HXF - #28 CLOTHING COMPANY IN THE WORLD - HXF

HXF - 137 WEEKS OF 500 SALES IN 186 WEEKS - HXF

HXF - 5K 90 SPONSORSHIPS FOR FIGHTERS - HXF

HXF - EVERYTHING ONLY $25 - HXF

*THERE IS SMOKE EVERYWHERE. STROBE LIGHTS ARE GOING OFF. THE KNITTING CONFERENCE IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR HAS CALLED THE POLICE. JERRY’S DAD PISSED HIS PANTS. A GREEN AND BLACK ZEBRA RUNS ACROSS THE ROOM. SCANITLY CLAD ROBOTS SHOOT SHIRT CANNONS AT THE AUDIENCE*

*A FINAL EXPLOSION OCCURS*

*THE HXF LOGO APPEARS ON THE SCREEN WITH SMALL LETTERS UNDER IT STATING “CUSTOM CLOTHING ON REQUEST” AND KEN ENLOW IN THE CORNER*

 

TO BE CONTINUED. PART TWO TOMORROW.

[Kaufman]

CAGE WARRIORS MMA: A NEW DAWN

PRE-FIGHT PRESS EVENT

PART TWO

MF: Welcome back. We want to give a big shout-out to Ken Enlow and Helsinki Xtreme Fightwear. That was quite an experience. We were originally told they were just going to come hand out t-shirts and do some sort of raffle. Well, they outdid themselves. Right, guys? We going to show them some love? *Encourages the crowd, who respond accordingly with voracious applause* I’m sure they appreciate you slapping your hands together, but sending your applause in the form of cold hard cash will help keep HXF the leading fightwear company in the north. But ehh can we get someone clean the Zebra dung from the corner there *points to steaming pile of zebra shit in the back corner of the room* What are we waiting for? Get the next round of warriors out here, announcer.

Announcer: Please help us welcome the following Cage Warriors!

Fighting out of Las Vegas…“Tooorden” Thoooorvaald Naaaanseen

Fighting out of Sydney…Viiictoor “Maaadd Dooggg” Coooontreeeiras

Fighting out of Helsinki…Floookii Maaaaagnussooon

Fighting out of Los Angeles…Maaaatteoo “Caaabroon” Saaancheeezz

*The fighters walk out single file. This foursome is looking rather crowded as we are moving up the weight divisions. Thorvald Nansen is in full Viking attire and is carrying a full-sized battle axe which he is swinging with no regard for humans, walls, or furniture. Meanwhile, Floki Magnusson is looking annoyed as usual, still incensed that he was duped into attending the press conference voluntarily. Magnusson is sporting a Charleston Chiefs hockey jersey and he’s got a hockey puck in his hand. “Mad Dog” Contreiras is bouncing up and down like an oversized tennis ball. He lets out growls and barks every few seconds as he walks out. Matteo Sanchez rounds out the bunch. He struts out like he is the cock of the walk, smiling and waving to his fans, which somehow materialized as soon as his name was called. There is a particularly vocal row of female fans sporting low-cut “Cabron Nation” t-shirts letting out shrieks as if they had just seen a mouse run between them, the most attractive mouse they had ever seen. The fighters find their way to their seats and take a few moments to get sorted out, each flaring their elbows and jostling for dominant position at their respective tables*

MF: *Looks at each of the fighters* Are we ready, guys? Before we start the questions. A few logistical things to note. We were expecting Terrance “Rhyno” Gerin, but we have been notified by his camp that he has sustained a minor injury wherein his moustache got caught in mesh fencing that he was installing in his chicken coop and then he was attacked by several territorial hens. We have been in touch with his medical team and while he did suffer facial lacerations, we expect that he will be fully recovered and ready to compete come fight night. We have another no-show today. We actually *reaches into inside chest pocket of his jacket* got a note from *opens note* Da Two’s wife. Let’s see what it says. *reading* “Mr. Fernandez, please excuse Da from the press conference. He is very sorry he forgot he had to clean the garage today and regrettably will not be attending.” *Matty puts note back in his pocket* I guess we know who to talk to next time we need Da Two somewhere. We’ve got a ragtag bunch up here. Who wants to ask the first question?

*Jenkins Jennson jumps up and down in his chair*

JJ: Me…meee! I’ve got one!!

*Matty scans the crowd trying to find another reporter with a question not named Jenkins. To no avail*

MF: *takes a deep breath* Fine…Ok go ahead ask your question, sparky.

JJ: Victor *Victor Contreiras lets out a loud bark* They call you “Mad Dog,” but you’ve won your last 3 fights and now, you have a contract with a real organization. Why you still mad?

Victor “Mad Dog” Contreiras: I’ll be honest with you, I couldn’t find a way to properly fit my dick in my cup, and that bothers me between fights, makes me mad, you know, have to end it quickly. I’ve been working on that with my team and I think we’ll find a way to solve this soon.

MF: That sounds extremely uncomfortable, Victor. For everyone’s sake I hope you are successful. Tim, you have one for Victor while he’s up?

TC: As Jenkins mentioned you are currently on a 3-fight win streak, but that was the QFC. Everyone knows it’s full of tomato cans, ladyboys, and losers. Your opponent, Terrance “Rhyno” Gerin, showed a strong clinch game in his last fight. Is your clinch better? You prepared to go on record here to say his is weak?

Mad Dog: *looking maniacal...and mad* I mean, I wouldn’t try to take it to clinch streets with me. That is…if you’re looking to survive more time. I come from a small and old school place in Brazil, I use to brawl in some parties and used to be the nowadays Mad Dog at freestyle mode in the streets. After I came to Sydney thankfully able to put my mind back at place some big spars at the best gym in the business, evolving together with Ronaldo who’s a very close guy to me, he’s a beast learner of the game, so much talent, pushes you up. I’ve been sparring a lot; we have a couple of guys at top 5 orgs in the world at the gym. Speaking of, I want to take a moment to shout out the guys at Memento Mori. The whole team there, solid job being done in the last months, world class.

MF: If you enjoy Muay Thai, you simply can’t miss Mad Dog versus Rhyno only at CWMMA A New Dawn. Let’s keep the questions coming. Vernita, you have your hand raised.

VP: Thorvald, your opponent Da Two decided not to show tonight. His wife sent a note for him. How embarrassing. Any comment?

“Torden” Thorvald Nansen: *Smirks arrogantly and lets out a roaring laugh* HAHAHA! Da Two is a Chump. He will be a foot note in the history of my career soon enough. I’m better than Da Two in every way. I’m going to show that at A New Dawn!

VP: Follow up for you, Torden. You and you entourage are dressed as Vikings, apparently you were able to get your gear through the airport, unlike Saint George, what gives? Are you claiming to be a present-day Viking or something?

*Nansen raises his battle axe above his head and brings the butt of the handle down on the table with a deafening thud. As he does, his supporters in audience let out a series of roaring chants answering his call. Torden lets out another booming laugh*

Torden: It is true that I'm of Viking ancestry. As for my entourage they're all savages as well. *the savages roar as their leader recognizes them* My first step towards greatness will be claiming the CWMMA 155 lb belt. My end goal is to become the #1 P4P fighter in the world just like my grandfather, "Thunder" Tor Nansen (1768) MMA's first #1 P4P fighter.

MF: *to himself but heard on the mic* Where does John Wayne find these guys? Truly magnificent. *In normal voice* Who’s up?

Tim “The Instigator” Collins: I’ll bite. Matteo, Floki had some choice words for you recently. He’s sitting right there, just a few feet away from you *points to Magnusson who scowls back* You want to respond?

Matteo “Cabron” Sanchez: Let me hear you, Cabron Nation! *Matteo’s mostly female cheering section respond jubilantly* Hahaha *Cabron smiles widely and confidently, and looks at Floki on the other side of the table* FLU-KE wants to talk about the greats. the dude has only had one fight against an 18-year-old, what would he know about being great. Well at least I can give him a first-person view of someone who is on his way to being legendary, MATTEO 'CABRON' SANCHEZ. *Crowd responds in vocal agreement*

TC: Floki, he just said you know nothing about greatness? Are you just going to let him say that to you?

Floki Magnusson: *Looks at Tim Collins with annoyance* I’ll sit here because KAUFMAN’s people say I have to, but I’ve already said all I have to say about that pumped up clown *As he says pumped up, Sanchez dramatically flexes his bicep eliciting a burst from the audience drowning out the remainder of Floki’s answer*

TC: Listen to that, Floki. He’s got all the ladies cheering for him. You afraid he’s going to win the fight AND take your girl?

Floki: *Shakes his head* You reporters will never learn, will you. *Floki brings to view the hockey puck he’s been holding in his hand* Don’t worry, eh. I’ll teach you. *Floki hurls the puck at Collins missing him barely, but knocking a severely obese, bespectacled man eating from a family-sized sour patch kids box and wearing a Kings Gaming t-shirt, clear off of his chair* You have any more questions, Collins?

*Tim “The Instigator” Collins shakes his head “no” rather convincingly*

Matilda Virtennen: Hullo, it’s me Matilda again. I just have a question for, Mr. Sanchez.

MF: Well for fucks sakes, Mati, ask already.

MV: Mr. Sanchez *blushes* how do you uhhh stay so fit?

MCS: *Stands up, poses, and flexes to the approval of his groupies* Hahaha, very good question, Mati. I can always show you some exercises in private. Haha, but let me be real with me people for a second. Diet is so important. I want to thank Jared Hicks at Finnish Elite Extreme Science for his quality products. You want to look like me, look them up. Tell him Matteo sent you. Can’t forget about training. My training has been great, huge shout out to my Manager Gunner Pleysa and the guys at Panda Sprawl and Brawl.

MF: *Looks at his knock-off Rolex watch* I think it’s time for our next round of warriors.

Announcer: Please help us welcome the following Cage Warriors!

Fighting out of Las Vegas…Riku "The Noble" Nobunaga

Fighting out of Helsinki…Paaaullloooo Maaaaldiiiiiiiiniiiii

Fighting out of Los Angeles…Maaaarrioooo Thoooommaassss

Fighting out of Los Angeles…Craaazzyyyyy Legs

*The fighters march out on cue Crazy Legs is about a head taller than Riku and Mario. These fighters are clearly more professional than the circus CWMMA fans witnessed earlier. They each shake hands with Matty and then with each other. The audience pays close mind to the interaction between Crazy Legs and Riku Nobunaga, perhaps hoping fight day will come sooner. To no avail, the fighters greet each other casually and exchange nominal pleasantries. Matty gets it started*

MF: Now, before we throw some questions to these fine lads one quick note. I’m sure you will notice Paulo Maldini is missing. We want to assure you that everything is OK and he is healthy. He alerted us a few days ago that there was a pizza-making accident in his home and the brick-oven maintenance technician is scheduled to arrive between 7 AM and 4:42 PM today, rendering him incapable of participating in this event. We wish him and his brick-oven the best of luck and I’m sure he’ll be in top form come the 24^th. We are ready for the first question now.

Kale “The Legend” Suanders: Riku and Crazy Legs, I’m absolutely pumped about your coming match. You men are both BJJ brown belts AND you can both wrestle. You don’t need to give away any secrets, but how will you be approaching this match-up from that perspective? Crazy, why don’t you start and we’ll hear from Riku next.

Crazy Legs: *pulls the mic a bit closer to his face and looks at The Legend* Thanks for the question, Legend. Here’s the thing. I'm bringing more than just BJJ to the mat. I have tricks up my sleeve for whatever position I find myself in. Training has been top notch. As you probably know, I'm running a closed camp right now, so I'm gonna keep my tactics to myself. Just know that come fight night, you're going to see a world class competitor perform under the lights.

The Legend: I can imagine both of you will have some tricks up your sleeve given your abilities. Riku, same question. And talk with us a little bit about how your father’s legacy factors in here. You mentioned in your interview on Warrior Talk that he inspired you to start fighting.

Riku “The Noble” Nobunaga: Even though our belt color is the same, I'm a different beast than he is. My IQ is too much for him to handle. We’ve been watching tape and we know how to handle Crazy. Training has been very good. Our camp is doing everything and it's paying off. We're currently working on some circuits to solidify my conditioning. As for my father’s legacy, it’s long gone. Now it’s time to build my own legacy. Does that cover it, Legend?

The Legend: Thanks, Riku. And good luck to both of you on the 24^th.

Vernita Perkins: Your opponent, Paulo Maldini landed 100% of his strikes in his last fight. That’s 122 head punches, body punches, and combos. How will you respond to that kind of accuracy?

Mario Thomas: Impressive numbers and it's true, I have never faced a striker of his caliber but that is part of the excitement here. He has an impressive height advantage and that gives him a bit of an edge if he goes that counter punching route, as he has been prone to doing. I will need to work on my head movement, but if you look at the numbers, my defense is pretty solid in itself.

VP: Follow up to that, Mario. You and your opponent seem to have very similar attributes, especially in boxing and wrestling – why are you the better fighter?

MT: He's a bit older and has a lot of experience but I have a great team behind me getting prepared for this fight. Planning and preparation is what I have, so I can only hope I deliver on that.

Matilda Virtennen: For all three fighters. You all have several fights, so this isn’t going to be your first walk to the cage. Thinking beyond this card, what do you hope to achieve in the CWMMA and beyond?

CL: I plan on winning the title here, proving I'm the best 205 pounder in this org. Then I’ll go abroad and fight the best fighters in the world.

The Noble: I wanna be the first champ of CWMMA and bring an honor to the Nobunaga family.

MT: Not one to look beyond my next fight in Paulo Maldini. He will be my toughest challenge yet and I hope I can earn a victory, and make a case that I can be in the mix for a title if CWMMA goes that route. I want to be the Champion here and take this organization to the next level.

Matty Fernandez: It looks like we have some Warriors in it for the long-haul. That’s what I like to hear. If our fighters grow, Cage Warriors MMA will grow and vice versa. Of course, we’ve got TWO men here – Riku and Crazy, who want ONE belt. We’ll have to wait and see who gets to it first. Alright Tim, you can ask your question. But be careful, we did not have the funds to hire enough security to protect you from these animals.

Tim “The Instigator” Collins: Like Matty said - Two men, one belt. But Riku and Crazy seem pretty relaxed about the whole thing. Now, I don’t mean to stir the pot here. But I heard you joking around backstage about the origins of your name, Crazy Legs. So, what is the origin.

CL: *Laughs* The origin of my name Hahah *leans into the mic* Ask Riku’s mother!

*The crowd reacts to the insult*

MF: Ok guys *looks over to Riku on one side and Crazy on the other* Let’s keep it civil.

CL: Haha you guys know I’m just messing around. *Looks to Riku* I mean, I have a lot of respect for you, Riku. Your're tough, but I'm tougher. Bring your "A" game or else I'll pop you like a zit.

*The crowd focuses their attention to Riku for his response. Riku is unsure of whether to be pissed or amused, but isn’t showing it*

The Noble: *Looks at Crazy Legs on the other side of the podium* BRING IT!

*The crowd cheers with excitement*

MF: That’s what I’m talking about folks. THIS is the energy I’m looking for. *crowd cheers* A New Dawn is going to be wild! *crowd erupts yet again. Matty waits a moment for it to die down* It looks like we don’t have any more questions for these guys. We’ve now reached our main event. I’ll burst your bubble ahead of time, folks. Number one ranked fighter Al Barru is not with us tonight. It turns out there was a scheduling miscommunication within Al’s team. They thought the press conference was LAST week and they showed up at the Helsinki Micro Arena in their most elegant fineries. Well, last week the Helsinki Micro Arena was holding the Finnish National Ballroom Dancing Competition. Wouldn’t you know it, Al Barru entered…and won! This week we have been told that he is actually under contract to compete in the Scandinavian Ballroom Dancing Finals. For those of you who follow the intensely competitive world of ballroom dancing, the Scandinavian Finals are a significant climb in competition from the Finnish Nationals. Good luck to Al Barru and his dance partner, his cutman, Georgio. Who knew Georgio could move like that.

Announcer: Please help us welcome the following MAIN EVENT Cage Warrior!

Fighting out of New York…Saaammmm “The Saaaaaaaaaalltttt” Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllltttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr.

MF: *to the announcer* Just one notch lower, mate. We don't want you blowing out your vocal cords BEFORE a NEW Dawn.

*Sam Salter walks out. He looks primed and ready to fight. Sam is wearing jeans and a t-shirt with something BJJ-related on it. He has brown belt tied around his waist. The crowd welcomes Salter vociferously, many recognizing him from his appearance on CWMMA Warrior Facts and subsequent re-broadcast in the Tycoon Times, MMA’s top news source. Salter, unsure of exactly how to handle this new found adulation shuffles towards Matty where they engage in pleasantries, a hand shake, and half-hug. Mugging for the photographers clicking away from just in front of the table. They walk over and take a photo in front of the A New Dawn Poster. An aide brings a cardboard cutout of Al Barru into the photo for effect, but it keeps falling over. Finally, enough photographs are taken and the men return to their appropriate press conference positions. Matty at the helm and Sam seated next to the podium*

MF: Settle down, guys. I can see we have a bunch of questions for Sam. We’ve got time for a few as I have some…time-sensitive domestic issues…I need to deal with.

Vernita Perkins: You are matched up against the number one ranked fighter in the promotion in Al Barru. Do you feel pressure from this and if so, how have you dealt with it?

Sam “The Salt” Salter: There really is no pressure heading into this one, I know that if I go out there and perform, I can beat any man. All the pressure is on him, as he’s heading into the fight as number one.

*Two reporters start asking a question concurrently, it’s “The Legend” Kale Saunders and Tim “The Instigator” Collins. Old rivals in the Oklahoma High School wrestling circuit*

The Instigator: Hey, it’s my question Kale. Hey uhh, have you lost weight? You’re looking a little small.

The Legend: That’s odd, Tim, because that's not what your wife told me last night…

*The Instigator starts to respond, but The Legend interrupts*

The Legend: …AND this morning. Now, shut the hell up or I’ll pin you in 4 seconds like I did in the semifinals in ’67.

*The Legend and The Instigator slowly start to rise in their chairs in anticipation of making their way towards one another*

MF: HEY, come on now. I’m on a schedule here *points to his watch* Ms. Fernandez doesn’t like to be kept waiting.

*At the utterance of “Ms. Fernandez” Kale and Tim both immediately put their butts back in their chairs as if they had just been reprimanded by their schoolteacher*

MF: Legend, I saw your hand up first. Nothing personal, Collins. Go for it, Legend.

The Legend: Alright. Sam, Al Barru isn’t only ranked number one. He comes into this match with some clear-cut advantages. How do you plan to overcome Al’s advantage in Muay Thai and Boxing, coupled with his reach?

The Salt: I have been putting in a lot of work on my striking trying to close that gap of my game, other than that I of course continue my BJJ training as I want to make sure my reflexes are sharp and ready for anything. We all know he has the advantage on the feet. It’s also no secret that I plan to go out there, get on the inside, drag him to the ground, grab one of those long limbs, rip it off, and take it home for my trophy case.

MF: That’s disgusting. Next question. Vernita.

VP: What is your goal in CWMMA and beyond?

The Salt: I plan to get that belt and hold onto it. I want to become the greatest fighter in the world. *leans down into the mic for emphasis* Al Barru, your hype train is about to be derailed. You better enjoy being number one while you can, because it’s about to come to an end!

MF: Any final thoughts for us, Sam?

The Salt: You know, Matty. I’m just excited to be here. Looking forward to the card. The support I’ve received has been incredible. I just want to give a shout out to my fight team at PEAK MMA and, of course, my fans. *crowd responds*

MF: That’ll do it for us tonight, folks. Make sure you tune in to CWMMA: A New Dawn, right around the corner on October 24^th. Put it on your calendars, set your alarms, this is going to be the most exhilarating night in combat sports historyever! Now, I gotta go.

*Matty grabs his flask and phone and speed walks towards the side door exit*

FADE TO BLACK

[BuffMinion]

 

CAGE WARRIORS MMA: A NEW DAWN

PRE-FIGHT PRESS EVENT

PART TWO

MF: Welcome back. We want to give a big shout-out to Ken Enlow and Helsinki Xtreme Fightwear. That was quite an experience. We were originally told they were just going to come hand out t-shirts and do some sort of raffle. Well, they outdid themselves. Right, guys? We going to show them some love? *Encourages the crowd, who respond accordingly with voracious applause* I’m sure they appreciate you slapping your hands together, but sending your applause in the form of cold hard cash will help keep HXF the leading fightwear company in the north. But ehh can we get someone clean the Zebra dung from the corner there *points to steaming pile of zebra shit in the back corner of the room* What are we waiting for? Get the next round of warriors out here, announcer.

 

Announcer: Please help us welcome the following Cage Warriors!

 

Fighting out of Las Vegas…“Tooorden” Thoooorvaald Naaaanseen

 

Fighting out of Sydney…Viiictoor “Maaadd Dooggg” Coooontreeeiras

 

Fighting out of Helsinki…Floookii Maaaaagnussooon

 

Fighting out of Los Angeles…Maaaatteoo “Caaabroon” Saaancheeezz

 

*The fighters walk out single file. This foursome is looking rather crowded as we are moving up the weight divisions. Thorvald Nansen is in full Viking attire and is carrying a full-sized battle axe which he is swinging with no regard for humans, walls, or furniture. Meanwhile, Floki Magnusson is looking annoyed as usual, still incensed that he was duped into attending the press conference voluntarily. Magnusson is sporting a Charleston Chiefs hockey jersey and he’s got a hockey puck in his hand. “Mad Dog” Contreiras is bouncing up and down like an oversized tennis ball. He lets out growls and barks every few seconds as he walks out. Matteo Sanchez rounds out the bunch. He struts out like he is the cock of the walk, smiling and waving to his fans, which somehow materialized as soon as his name was called. There is a particularly vocal row of female fans sporting low-cut “Cabron Nation” t-shirts letting out shrieks as if they had just seen a mouse run between them, the most attractive mouse they had ever seen. The fighters find their way to their seats and take a few moments to get sorted out, each flaring their elbows and jostling for dominant position at their respective tables*

MF: *Looks at each of the fighters* Are we ready, guys? Before we start the questions. A few logistical things to note. We were expecting Terrance “Rhyno” Gerin, but we have been notified by his camp that he has sustained a minor injury wherein his moustache got caught in mesh fencing that he was installing in his chicken coop and then he was attacked by several territorial hens. We have been in touch with his medical team and while he did suffer facial lacerations, we expect that he will be fully recovered and ready to compete come fight night. We have another no-show today. We actually *reaches into inside chest pocket of his jacket* got a note from *opens note* Da Two’s wife. Let’s see what it says. *reading* “Mr. Fernandez, please excuse Da from the press conference. He is very sorry he forgot he had to clean the garage today and regrettably will not be attending.” *Matty puts note back in his pocket* I guess we know who to talk to next time we need Da Two somewhere. We’ve got a ragtag bunch up here. Who wants to ask the first question?

 

*Jenkins Jennson jumps up and down in his chair*

 

JJ: Me…meee! I’ve got one!!

 

*Matty scans the crowd trying to find another reporter with a question not named Jenkins. To no avail*

 

MF: *takes a deep breath* Fine…Ok go ahead ask your question, sparky.

 

JJ: Victor *Victor Contreiras lets out a loud bark* They call you “Mad Dog,” but you’ve won your last 3 fights and now, you have a contract with a real organization. Why you still mad?

 

Victor “Mad Dog” Contreiras: I’ll be honest with you, I couldn’t find a way to properly fit my dick in my cup, and that bothers me between fights, makes me mad, you know, have to end it quickly. I’ve been working on that with my team and I think we’ll find a way to solve this soon.

 

MF: That sounds extremely uncomfortable, Victor. For everyone’s sake I hope you are successful. Tim, you have one for Victor while he’s up?

 

TC: As Jenkins mentioned you are currently on a 3-fight win streak, but that was the QFC. Everyone knows it’s full of tomato cans, ladyboys, and losers. Your opponent, Terrance “Rhyno” Gerin, showed a strong clinch game in his last fight. Is your clinch better? You prepared to go on record here to say his is weak?

 

Mad Dog: *looking maniacal...and mad* I mean, I wouldn’t try to take it to clinch streets with me. That is…if you’re looking to survive more time. I come from a small and old school place in Brazil, I use to brawl in some parties and used to be the nowadays Mad Dog at freestyle mode in the streets. After I came to Sydney thankfully able to put my mind back at place some big spars at the best gym in the business, evolving together with Ronaldo who’s a very close guy to me, he’s a beast learner of the game, so much talent, pushes you up. I’ve been sparring a lot; we have a couple of guys at top 5 orgs in the world at the gym. Speaking of, I want to take a moment to shout out the guys at Memento Mori. The whole team there, solid job being done in the last months, world class.

 

MF: If you enjoy Muay Thai, you simply can’t miss Mad Dog versus Rhyno only at CWMMA A New Dawn. Let’s keep the questions coming. Vernita, you have your hand raised.

 

VP: Thorvald, your opponent Da Two decided not to show tonight. His wife sent a note for him. How embarrassing. Any comment?

 

“Torden” Thorvald Nansen: *Smirks arrogantly and lets out a roaring laugh* HAHAHA! Da Two is a Chump. He will be a foot note in the history of my career soon enough. I’m better than Da Two in every way. I’m going to show that at A New Dawn!

 

VP: Follow up for you, Torden. You and you entourage are dressed as Vikings, apparently you were able to get your gear through the airport, unlike Saint George, what gives? Are you claiming to be a present-day Viking or something?

 

*Nansen raises his battle axe above his head and brings the butt of the handle down on the table with a deafening thud. As he does, his supporters in audience let out a series of roaring chants answering his call. Torden lets out another booming laugh*

 

Torden: It is true that I'm of Viking ancestry. As for my entourage they're all savages as well. *the savages roar as their leader recognizes them* My first step towards greatness will be claiming the CWMMA 155 lb belt. My end goal is to become the #1 P4P fighter in the world just like my grandfather, "Thunder" Tor Nansen (1768) MMA's first #1 P4P fighter.

 

MF: *to himself but heard on the mic* Where does John Wayne find these guys? Truly magnificent. *In normal voice* Who’s up?

 

Tim “The Instigator” Collins: I’ll bite. Matteo, Floki had some choice words for you recently. He’s sitting right there, just a few feet away from you *points to Magnusson who scowls back* You want to respond?

 

Matteo “Cabron” Sanchez: Let me hear you, Cabron Nation! *Matteo’s mostly female cheering section respond jubilantly* Hahaha *Cabron smiles widely and confidently, and looks at Floki on the other side of the table* FLU-KE wants to talk about the greats. the dude has only had one fight against an 18-year-old, what would he know about being great. Well at least I can give him a first-person view of someone who is on his way to being legendary, MATTEO 'CABRON' SANCHEZ. *Crowd responds in vocal agreement*

 

TC: Floki, he just said you know nothing about greatness? Are you just going to let him say that to you?

 

Floki Magnusson: *Looks at Tim Collins with annoyance* I’ll sit here because KAUFMAN’s people say I have to, but I’ve already said all I have to say about that pumped up clown *As he says pumped up, Sanchez dramatically flexes his bicep eliciting a burst from the audience drowning out the remainder of Floki’s answer*

 

TC: Listen to that, Floki. He’s got all the ladies cheering for him. You afraid he’s going to win the fight AND take your girl?

 

Floki: *Shakes his head* You reporters will never learn, will you. *Floki brings to view the hockey puck he’s been holding in his hand* Don’t worry, eh. I’ll teach you. *Floki hurls the puck at Collins missing him barely, but knocking a severely obese, bespectacled man eating from a family-sized sour patch kids box and wearing a Kings Gaming t-shirt, clear off of his chair* You have any more questions, Collins?

 

*Tim “The Instigator” Collins shakes his head “no” rather convincingly*

 

Matilda Virtennen: Hullo, it’s me Matilda again. I just have a question for, Mr. Sanchez.

 

MF: Well for fucks sakes, Mati, ask already.

 

MV: Mr. Sanchez *blushes* how do you uhhh stay so fit?

 

MCS: *Stands up, poses, and flexes to the approval of his groupies* Hahaha, very good question, Mati. I can always show you some exercises in private. Haha, but let me be real with me people for a second. Diet is so important. I want to thank Jared Hicks at Finnish Elite Extreme Science for his quality products. You want to look like me, look them up. Tell him Matteo sent you. Can’t forget about training. My training has been great, huge shout out to my Manager Gunner Pleysa and the guys at Panda Sprawl and Brawl.

 

MF: *Looks at his knock-off Rolex watch* I think it’s time for our next round of warriors.

 

Announcer: Please help us welcome the following Cage Warriors!

 

Fighting out of Las Vegas…Riku "The Noble" Nobunaga

 

Fighting out of Helsinki…Paaaullloooo Maaaaldiiiiiiiiniiiii

 

Fighting out of Los Angeles…Maaaarrioooo Thoooommaassss

 

Fighting out of Los Angeles…Craaazzyyyyy Legs

 

*The fighters march out on cue Crazy Legs is about a head taller than Riku and Mario. These fighters are clearly more professional than the circus CWMMA fans witnessed earlier. They each shake hands with Matty and then with each other. The audience pays close mind to the interaction between Crazy Legs and Riku Nobunaga, perhaps hoping fight day will come sooner. To no avail, the fighters greet each other casually and exchange nominal pleasantries. Matty gets it started*

 

 

MF: Now, before we throw some questions to these fine lads one quick note. I’m sure you will notice Paulo Maldini is missing. We want to assure you that everything is OK and he is healthy. He alerted us a few days ago that there was a pizza-making accident in his home and the brick-oven maintenance technician is scheduled to arrive between 7 AM and 4:42 PM today, rendering him incapable of participating in this event. We wish him and his brick-oven the best of luck and I’m sure he’ll be in top form come the 24^th. We are ready for the first question now.

 

Kale “The Legend” Suanders: Riku and Crazy Legs, I’m absolutely pumped about your coming match. You men are both BJJ brown belts AND you can both wrestle. You don’t need to give away any secrets, but how will you be approaching this match-up from that perspective? Crazy, why don’t you start and we’ll hear from Riku next.

 

Crazy Legs: *pulls the mic a bit closer to his face and looks at The Legend* Thanks for the question, Legend. Here’s the thing. I'm bringing more than just BJJ to the mat. I have tricks up my sleeve for whatever position I find myself in. Training has been top notch. As you probably know, I'm running a closed camp right now, so I'm gonna keep my tactics to myself. Just know that come fight night, you're going to see a world class competitor perform under the lights.

 

The Legend: I can imagine both of you will have some tricks up your sleeve given your abilities. Riku, same question. And talk with us a little bit about how your father’s legacy factors in here. You mentioned in your interview on Warrior Talk that he inspired you to start fighting.

 

Riku “The Noble” Nobunaga: Even though our belt color is the same, I'm a different beast than he is. My IQ is too much for him to handle. We’ve been watching tape and we know how to handle Crazy. Training has been very good. Our camp is doing everything and it's paying off. We're currently working on some circuits to solidify my conditioning. As for my father’s legacy, it’s long gone. Now it’s time to build my own legacy. Does that cover it, Legend?

 

The Legend: Thanks, Riku. And good luck to both of you on the 24^th.

 

Vernita Perkins: Your opponent, Paulo Maldini landed 100% of his strikes in his last fight. That’s 122 head punches, body punches, and combos. How will you respond to that kind of accuracy?

 

Mario Thomas: Impressive numbers and it's true, I have never faced a striker of his caliber but that is part of the excitement here. He has an impressive height advantage and that gives him a bit of an edge if he goes that counter punching route, as he has been prone to doing. I will need to work on my head movement, but if you look at the numbers, my defense is pretty solid in itself.

 

VP: Follow up to that, Mario. You and your opponent seem to have very similar attributes, especially in boxing and wrestling – why are you the better fighter?

 

MT: He's a bit older and has a lot of experience but I have a great team behind me getting prepared for this fight. Planning and preparation is what I have, so I can only hope I deliver on that.

 

Matilda Virtennen: For all three fighters. You all have several fights, so this isn’t going to be your first walk to the cage. Thinking beyond this card, what do you hope to achieve in the CWMMA and beyond?

 

CL: I plan on winning the title here, proving I'm the best 205 pounder in this org. Then I’ll go abroad and fight the best fighters in the world.

 

The Noble: I wanna be the first champ of CWMMA and bring an honor to the Nobunaga family.

 

MT: Not one to look beyond my next fight in Paulo Maldini. He will be my toughest challenge yet and I hope I can earn a victory, and make a case that I can be in the mix for a title if CWMMA goes that route. I want to be the Champion here and take this organization to the next level.

 

Matty Fernandez: It looks like we have some Warriors in it for the long-haul. That’s what I like to hear. If our fighters grow, Cage Warriors MMA will grow and vice versa. Of course, we’ve got TWO men here – Riku and Crazy, who want ONE belt. We’ll have to wait and see who gets to it first. Alright Tim, you can ask your question. But be careful, we did not have the funds to hire enough security to protect you from these animals.

 

Tim “The Instigator” Collins: Like Matty said - Two men, one belt. But Riku and Crazy seem pretty relaxed about the whole thing. Now, I don’t mean to stir the pot here. But I heard you joking around backstage about the origins of your name, Crazy Legs. So, what is the origin.

 

CL: *Laughs* The origin of my name Hahah *leans into the mic* Ask Riku’s mother!

 

*The crowd reacts to the insult*

 

MF: Ok guys *looks over to Riku on one side and Crazy on the other* Let’s keep it civil.

 

CL: Haha you guys know I’m just messing around. *Looks to Riku* I mean, I have a lot of respect for you, Riku. Your're tough, but I'm tougher. Bring your "A" game or else I'll pop you like a zit.

 

*The crowd focuses their attention to Riku for his response. Riku is unsure of whether to be pissed or amused, but isn’t showing it*

 

The Noble: *Looks at Crazy Legs on the other side of the podium* BRING IT!

 

*The crowd cheers with excitement*

 

MF: That’s what I’m talking about folks. THIS is the energy I’m looking for. *crowd cheers* A New Dawn is going to be wild! *crowd erupts yet again. Matty waits a moment for it to die down* It looks like we don’t have any more questions for these guys. We’ve now reached our main event. I’ll burst your bubble ahead of time, folks. Number one ranked fighter Al Barru is not with us tonight. It turns out there was a scheduling miscommunication within Al’s team. They thought the press conference was LAST week and they showed up at the Helsinki Micro Arena in their most elegant fineries. Well, last week the Helsinki Micro Arena was holding the Finnish National Ballroom Dancing Competition. Wouldn’t you know it, Al Barru entered…and won! This week we have been told that he is actually under contract to compete in the Scandinavian Ballroom Dancing Finals. For those of you who follow the intensely competitive world of ballroom dancing, the Scandinavian Finals are a significant climb in competition from the Finnish Nationals. Good luck to Al Barru and his dance partner, his cutman, Georgio. Who knew Georgio could move like that.

 

Announcer: Please help us welcome the following MAIN EVENT Cage Warrior!

 

Fighting out of New York…Saaammmm “The Saaaaaaaaaalltttt” Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllltttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr.

 

MF: *to the announcer* Just one notch lower, mate. We don't want you blowing out your vocal cords BEFORE a NEW Dawn.

 

*Sam Salter walks out. He looks primed and ready to fight. Sam is wearing jeans and a t-shirt with something BJJ-related on it. He has brown belt tied around his waist. The crowd welcomes Salter vociferously, many recognizing him from his appearance on CWMMA Warrior Facts and subsequent re-broadcast in the Tycoon Times, MMA’s top news source. Salter, unsure of exactly how to handle this new found adulation shuffles towards Matty where they engage in pleasantries, a hand shake, and half-hug. Mugging for the photographers clicking away from just in front of the table. They walk over and take a photo in front of the A New Dawn Poster. An aide brings a cardboard cutout of Al Barru into the photo for effect, but it keeps falling over. Finally, enough photographs are taken and the men return to their appropriate press conference positions. Matty at the helm and Sam seated next to the podium*

 

 

MF: Settle down, guys. I can see we have a bunch of questions for Sam. We’ve got time for a few as I have some…time-sensitive domestic issues…I need to deal with.

 

Vernita Perkins: You are matched up against the number one ranked fighter in the promotion in Al Barru. Do you feel pressure from this and if so, how have you dealt with it?

 

Sam “The Salt” Salter: There really is no pressure heading into this one, I know that if I go out there and perform, I can beat any man. All the pressure is on him, as he’s heading into the fight as number one.

 

*Two reporters start asking a question concurrently, it’s “The Legend” Kale Saunders and Tim “The Instigator” Collins. Old rivals in the Oklahoma High School wrestling circuit*

 

The Instigator: Hey, it’s my question Kale. Hey uhh, have you lost weight? You’re looking a little small.

 

The Legend: That’s odd, Tim, because that's not what your wife told me last night…

 

*The Instigator starts to respond, but The Legend interrupts*

 

The Legend: …AND this morning. Now, shut the hell up or I’ll pin you in 4 seconds like I did in the semifinals in ’67.

 

*The Legend and The Instigator slowly start to rise in their chairs in anticipation of making their way towards one another*

 

MF: HEY, come on now. I’m on a schedule here *points to his watch* Ms. Fernandez doesn’t like to be kept waiting.

 

*At the utterance of “Ms. Fernandez” Kale and Tim both immediately put their butts back in their chairs as if they had just been reprimanded by their schoolteacher*

 

MF: Legend, I saw your hand up first. Nothing personal, Collins. Go for it, Legend.

 

The Legend: Alright. Sam, Al Barru isn’t only ranked number one. He comes into this match with some clear-cut advantages. How do you plan to overcome Al’s advantage in Muay Thai and Boxing, coupled with his reach?

 

The Salt: I have been putting in a lot of work on my striking trying to close that gap of my game, other than that I of course continue my BJJ training as I want to make sure my reflexes are sharp and ready for anything. We all know he has the advantage on the feet. It’s also no secret that I plan to go out there, get on the inside, drag him to the ground, grab one of those long limbs, rip it off, and take it home for my trophy case.

 

MF: That’s disgusting. Next question. Vernita.

 

VP: What is your goal in CWMMA and beyond?

 

The Salt: I plan to get that belt and hold onto it. I want to become the greatest fighter in the world. *leans down into the mic for emphasis* Al Barru, your hype train is about to be derailed. You better enjoy being number one while you can, because it’s about to come to an end!

 

MF: Any final thoughts for us, Sam?

 

The Salt: You know, Matty. I’m just excited to be here. Looking forward to the card. The support I’ve received has been incredible. I just want to give a shout out to my fight team at PEAK MMA and, of course, my fans. *crowd responds*

 

MF: That’ll do it for us tonight, folks. Make sure you tune in to CWMMA: A New Dawn, right around the corner on October 24^th. Put it on your calendars, set your alarms, this is going to be the most exhilarating night in combat sports historyever! Now, I gotta go.

 

*Matty grabs his flask and phone and speed walks towards the side door exit*

 

FADE TO BLACK

 

 

Well done, I really enjoyed this!