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  • Posts

    • HYPE CONTINUES   Only now since Team GWad HYPE has been banned, this is now HYPE to unite all managers of SJWTycoon behind a common message!   Limerick edition!!!   There once was an Alfred with a dumb jacket, In his pants was an itsy bitsy packet, After all the girls said he looked like a maggot, He decided to become a  <spoiler>douchebag</spoiler>  
    • Thank you Runt, this is magnificent. I was running an undercover sting operation to see if anyone on my team had the courage to speak up in the face of the horrible, horrible things I was saying. You passed the test. I'm disgusted by the rest of the team, frankly.  
    • SUCKER PUNCH PREVIEW Sucker Punch Pro Series 67 Hello out there once again to all our Sucker Punch faithful worldwide!  I’m Hare Rumpler and I’m here along with my pal and colleague, Donkey “Dan”, to take a quick peek forward at all the action packed fights on tap tonight at SPPS 67.  Wait…what’s this?  Oooh, word just in that Nati is going to step in and do my part this evening so we’ll be turning this over to both her and Donkey after I give this intro! The excitement will be intense tonight over at the Bondi Outdoor Arena as we have a full card queued up and ready to go for you, including the epic showdown between Magnificent Chulalongkorn and Jaxon Bremner that just about had the forum spilling over with vitriol earlier this week! Starting things off though will be a sparring bout between two of my own fighters to keep things light while the fans work their way in from tailgating in the parking lot. Afterward, four more fights are lined up on the Undercard, each from different weight classes that should give just about everybody something they’re looking forward to!  On the Main Card we’ll get going with a Heavyweight bout between Bobo Brazil and Rock Silva followed up by a top notch Welterweight match and then yet another big boy matchup before we head into the two Main Events!  The final two fights of the evening will be some high profile, hype filled bouts that start out with Lightweights Kurt Cobain and Ramon Rabbit going at it!  Cobain needs this fight to begin working back towards a shot at the title again while Rabbit could really use this opportunity to finally string a couple wins together and start showing consistency up at the top of the division! We already talked about the big time, trash talking finale of the evening, so I won’t go over that much more here, instead sending us for a word from our merchandise partner and sponsor so we can move on to the good stuff! If you’re looking for the absolute best way to keep your fighters in the gym, training session to session and getting the absolute best gains possible, then you’re looking for our respected sponsor and partner, Shadow Warrior Nutrition!   Specifically, their premiere energy loss reduction supplement, Shadow Warrior Tea 160Q, is THE supplement that keeps your fighters dropping the bare minimum in energy after each training session!  What does that mean?  That means less sessions off to recover and get back above 90% energy.  That means they can max out their gains and potentially advance their skills faster than their competition. And that means you get the best results possible when it’s time for your boys to step into that cage and go to war!  Stop by their store today to get some for your kids, you won’t regret it. Now, let's get to it! *********************** Undercard Bout #1: Sparring Bout Fredrico Schmico (0-0-0) v Bartholomew Bainbridge (0-0-0) (Pick- Schmico by Decision) The first fight of the night will be a heavyweight test fight between Fredrico Schmico and Bartholomew Bainbridge. Both of these guys are brand new fighters, and both of them were named by me (because we couldn’t have them fighting as “Hare” and “Test Hare”, could we?). So, obviously, since I named them both, I like both of their names and therefore will not be judging on that. I created Schmico first, which makes me have a slight bias toward him. And, since this is both fighters’ first fight, we have no insight into their skills or fighting styles. So, naturally, we must look at the small things. Schmico is heavier by almost 40 pounds and has 5 cm on Bainbridge and, like I said, I already slightly favor him just because. So, I’ll choose Schmico on this fight, most likely by decision unless Bainbridge ends up really sucking or Schmico ends up being really great. (P.S. this fight will be 1 round, 3 minutes… something I didn’t notice until I got to fight #4 and don’t really feel like finding room for in the main paragraph) Donkey’s Pick: Nope Everybody knows I typically don’t make picks for sparring bouts and I’m certainly not about to start here for two of Hare’s kids!  That said, I will say as usual that when it comes to two new kids stepping into the cage what a manager is typically looking to take from the fight are any intangibles found in the Tale of the Tape and how the loser handles the loss morale wise.  We don’t want to see things like an enjoyment of moonwalking, gardening, comics, pizza or any of that crap rather than focusing on training.  We also don’t want to see a tendency to bleed all over place like a stuck pig.  A solid if not granite chin would be very nice indeed…heck, maybe some knockout power perhaps?  *********************** Undercard Bout #2: Middleweights Iliya Topuria (5-0-0) v Jim Beam (5-9-0) (Pick- Topuria by Submission) Fight number 2 will be a middleweight fight between Iliya Topuria and Jim Beam. I’ll start by saying I like Topuria better, just because his name is more fun. “Jim” is rather boring, don’t you think? I would never name a fighter something so bland. Looking at their Stats, Topuria seems to have the upper hand for this fight. Topuria is less experienced, having only fought 5 fights, but he has yet to lose one. Beam, on the other hand, has fought 14 fights, and only won 5 of them. Nine more fights than Topuria, same amount of wins. That’s not very good. Their skills seem to be pretty evenly matched except for Beam being slightly better at muay tai. However, seeing as Beam didn’t win a single one of his last 5 fights, I have no faith in his ability to win this one. So, going off record (and name, of course), I am going to choose Topuria to win by submission. Donkey’s Pick: Beam via Submission (Guillotine) We’ve got an extremely even matchup here with only Beam showing a slight edge in Muay Thai.  Given his history, I’m not really sure how much that will play in because he’s not exactly known for taking advantage of the clinch offensively.  Beam comes into this one struggling a bit as he’s lost his last five fights after being on an absolute tear which led to him winning the Middleweight Championship from Nyah Hirst.  He lost the first defense of the belt and since then has seemed to have his confidence shaken.  Tonight he’ll face Topuria who is known for his aggressive submission skills, something Beam has proven he can do well also.  Will we see an all-out chess match on the ground as they battle for position and opportunity to lock in the sub?  I think probably.  I have every reason to go with the undefeated 5-0 Topuria here given his record and Beam’s struggles.  However, I just have this strange hunch that Beam is due and is going to pull off the surprise win in this one.  Maybe.  We’ll find out! *********************** Undercard Bout #3: Lightweights Bradley Brunswick Jr (5-1-0) v Montesh Dominguez (3-7-0) (Pick- Brunswick Jr by Decision) For fight number 3, we will have Bradley Brunswick Jr against Montesh Dominguez in a lightweight match. This is another fight that appears to be evenly matched skillswise, but their records disagree. Despite supposedly having similar fighting abilities, Brunswick Jr is 5-1 while Dominguez is 3-7. The difference in records also likely explains while Brunswick Jr appears to be the fan favorite and has more hype behind him. He has won his last two fights while Dominguez lost 3 of his last 5 fights. However, Brunswick Jr has slightly less energy and morale than Dominguez, so that may help Dominguez a little bit in the fight. However, I’m still going to choose Brunswick Jr for this fight, most likely by decision since they’re pretty similar fighters.      Donkey’s Pick: Dominguez via Majority Decision Another extremely tight matchup in terms of overall skills in the major areas of concentration here!  Dominguez will have the slightest of edges in both Muay Thai and wrestling but Brunswick certainly has the more impressive record to date.  Dominguez comes into this one fully prepped and ready to go while Brunswick is just slightly off on his preparation here with a slight shortage of morale and about 10% loss of energy heading into the cage.  That could come into play in a tightly fought contest as this one may very well be!  Dominguez has been bouncing between wins and losses and when he wins it’s usually either a rare TKO or more frequently a trip all the way to the judges’ cards.  He’s coming off a loss to Ramon Rabbit, so perhaps he’s due for a win based upon his pattern lately?  Brunswick is on a tear since switching management teams and joining Sucker Punch all in one fell swoop.  He’s defeated Jameson and Barnes since coming aboard SPPS and much like Dominguez has been taking things the distance.  Given that information, I wouldn’t expect a finish necessarily in this one tonight and think we’ll see these two picking at each other for three rounds in an attempt to score more points with the judges.  Again, I’m going to go with the underdog here according to the records and say that Dominguez surprises and comes out on top, given his slightly better preparation. *********************** Undercard Bout #4: Heavyweights Peter Beardsley (5-2-0) v Petter Persson (6-1-0) (Pick- Persson by TKO) Up next, for fight number 4, we have Peter Beardsley and Petter Persson in a heavyweight fight. Similar name? That’s a bit odd. Except, Persson felt the need to double a random letter in both his first and last name. A bit unnecessary if you ask me, but ok. You do you, I guess. Looking at the fight, it should be pretty good. This is pretty close, both in skill and in record. Although, it appears that Beardsley has the advantage in both boxing and muay tai. Despite that, fans seem to favor Persson here. A bit odd, but they probably know these fighters better than I do. Plus, his record is technically slightly better (86% win rate over Beardsley’s 71%). Both guys have fought the same amount of fights, Persson just won one more than Beardsley. So, I’ll choose Persson to win this fight, probably by TKO since that’s all he has ever won by. I don’t have strong stats to support either fighter here, so I’m trusting the fans. And Persson better not disappoint me. Donkey’s Pick: Beardsley via KO (Strikes) In our first battle of the behemoths this evening Beardsley will head into the cage with an apparent edge over Persson in both areas of standup.  He’ll need that edge as Persson has but a single loss in his career, granted, a TKO loss, while having won every other fight via TKO or KO.  Most often via KO!  And he has a knack for doing it quickly in the first round!  Will he be able to pull off the same this evening in his Sucker Punch debut after having spent his entire career to date with Byzantium prior to his arrival at SPPS? Beardsley certainly will not go down without a fight and will be more than happy to swing em a bit with Persson tonight.  He’s won his last four fights including his debut with Sucker Punch last month in a TKO victory over Jeppe Boergen that he acquired due to some nasty cuts he dished out.  But he certainly doesn’t rely upon that tactic as his prior three fights were all KO finishes in the first round of the Pride Heavyweight class where he won the belt. Expect one hell of a standup war between these two tonight, a fight that could very well earn an ‘of the Night’ award…and my money is on it being of the ‘KO’ variety!  It’s extremely tough for me to pick a winner here between these two, so I’m going to just use the fact that Persson is the only one of the two who has fallen to a TKO that wasn’t a cut up to this point and give Beardsley the nod. *********************** Undercard Bout #5: Welterweights Dennis Dalborg (4-2-0) v Justin Kulina (3-2-0) (Pick- Dalborg by TKO) Fight number 5, the final fight of the undercard, will be a welterweight fight between Dennis Dalborg and Justin Kulina. I feel like welterweight fights are kind of rare, so that’s fun. I vaguely remember writing about Kulina before, I don’t remember if I chose him or if he won so that doesn’t really give me any reason to care. I have a feeling he lost, I don’t really know why. Maybe it’s his dumb face. Dalborg, on the other hand, is new to me. I don’t recall ever writing about him. He has a decent record, nothing special but also not awful, so that’s something. It’s slightly better than Kulina’s, so that’s good. Dalborg appears to be better at BJJ and wrestling, but Kulina has him in muay tai. Nonetheless, I will choose Dalborg. Kulina just gives me bad vibes. Dalbord will most likely win by TKO since, much like Persson from the last fight; that is all he has ever won by.     Donkey’s Pick: Kulina via TKO (Strikes) This Welterweight bout, our last fight on the Undercard, is yet another extremely well matched fight.  But unlike the others leading up to this this evening these two each have their own advantage in opposing areas.  On paper this would look to be your classic striker vs. grappler matchup tonight as Kulina has the advantage in boxing and especially Muay Thai while Dalborg has a wrestling advantage and even more of an edge with his Jiu Jitsu.  But that’s unlikely to be the case as Dalborg has used powerful striking with a focus on head shots in most of his fights. Much like some of our other fighters on the card tonight, Dalborg is making his Sucker Punch debut.  Just as Persson in the fight prior to this was with Byzantium his entire career up until this point the same can be said for Dalborg.  He comes in off a two fight losing streak, the first loss two fights back being a TKO via Kick & Punches defeat at the hands (and feet) of Ethan Hawk for the title there.  He’s going to want to return to the things that got him four wins in a row prior to that this evening! Kulina comes in with a pair of W’s after defeated Zsofka via decision two months ago and then pulling off a thrilling Superman Punch on Carter Ortiz last month to earn ‘KO of the Night’ honors!  That win sent a message that he’s ready to step away from simply going for decisions and can throw down with the best of them, setting this fight up to be yet another potential slugfest like the one just before it!  Again, a very tough one to call, but given this is likely to stay on the feet I’m going to go with Kulina as he has the advantage skill wise in those areas. *********************** Main Card Bout #1: Heavyweights Bobo Brazil (7-2-0) v Rock Silva (1-3-0)  (Pick- Brazil by TKO) The next fight, fight number 6, will be the first fight on the main card. We will see Bobo Brazil and Rock Silva in a heavyweight match for this one. Brazil is named after a country, how fun. I don’t know what to think of their first names being “Bobo” and “Rock”. They’re both boring and fun at the same time. Anywho, this is a bit of a confusing fight. Silva is slightly better at everything except BJJ, but Brazil has him by a decent amount in it. Silva’s record, however, sucks. He is 1-3 opposed to Brazil’s 7-2. It’s no wonder why the fans like Brazil so much better. And I have to agree with them. I think Brazil will end up winning this fight pretty easily. He’ll win by TKO since, once again, that’s all he has ever won by. I feel like there’s going to be quite a few TKOs tonight. I’ll be surprised if there’s not. It should cause quite the contest for TKO of the night, though. So that’s kind of fun. Donkey’s Pick: Silva via TKO (Strikes) Our second of three ‘big boy’ fights this evening will see Bobo Brazil make his debut at Sucker Punch against relatively new SPPS member Silva who has only one fight at Sucker Punch previously. Brazil has the advantage on the ground here this evening but given his history I fully expect that he’ll stand and throw with Silva despite that purple belt he’s toting around versus Silva’s blue.  It’s just a matter of whether he’ll choose to stand and box or take it into the clinch as he’s done both previously.  He’s got a granite chin and heavy hands, so he can definitely hang with other solid strikers and take some punishment in his quest to dish it out. Silva is 1-2 in MMA but what’s most important is that he’s 1-0 under his current management and since his return to the cage professionally after a bit of a sabbatical to work on his skills.  Full disclosure, he’s managed by Hare’s own alliance-mate, Laz Staz, so we hope to be unbiased here as much as possible.  With sensational skills in boxing, Muay Thai and wrestling he’s certainly equipped to give Brazil everything he can handle this evening!  Expect this to be the third hard hitting fight in a row on this car and for those of you out there who love the standup game you’re going to be loving this last sequence of fights! Another tough one to pick, I’m going to say that unless Brazil surprises us and takes it to the ground I have to go with the advantage on the feet and that appears to lie with Silva, at least on paper. *********************** Main Card Bout #2:  Welterweights Nils Norling (5-3-0) v Carter Ortiz (10-3-0) (Pick- Norling by TKO) Fight number 7 will be a welterweight fight between Nils Norling and Carlos Ortiz. Ortiz is, as he was last time, wildly unprepared for this fight. He has no morale. None at all. I don’t even know why his manager makes him show up for these things. Please make sure your fighter is prepared, otherwise it is just a waste of time for everybody involved. His opponent, the fan, the people who have to write about it, the people who read about it. A waste of time all around. Ortiz has no chance here because of his morale, otherwise he may have had a shot. A slim one, but a shot nonetheless. He’s got strong BJJ skills going for him, but he wastes it by being unprepared. Norling should win this fight pretty quickly. Likely by TKO since, like all the other fighters tonight, that’s all he has one by so far. Seriously, TKOs are fun but they’re going to get old eventually. Could we spice it up a little? Donkey’s Pick: Norling via KO (Punch) This one is almost too easy to pick and that’s a shame.  Carter Ortiz is 10-3 on his career and was having a great run but then his manager seemed to go MIA, has been gone for a month again at this point, and has therefore had his morale go into the dumps.  That’s a recipe for disaster and his recent two losses reflect that level of neglect.  Expect a third loss in a row this evening given the situation hasn’t gotten any better. Norling comes in like several others this evening from Byzantium and makes his SPPS debut after taking a loss to Ethan Hawk for the title over at Byz in April.  That was a TKO defeat, the first of his career as the prior two losses were both via submissions.  When he wins, it’s usually via TKO and even more often via KO, so expect him to put some heavy hits on Ortiz this evening.  Given Ortiz’s likely lack of desire to even be in the cage tonight I don’t expect him to take many before taking a fall. *********************** Main Card Bout #3: Heavyweights ZaDarius Haden (10-3-0) v Zygmunt Krol (4-4-0) (Pick- Haden by Decision) The eighth fight of the night is going to be a heavyweight fight between ZaDarius Haden and Zygmunt Krol. This will probably be a pretty good fight, it may even end up being one of the close ones of the night. They’re pretty close in everything except BJJ, which Haden has a slight advantage in. Haden is also much more experienced, with a much better record than Krol, as he is 10-3, opposed to Krol’s 4-4. Krol does have a bit of a weight advantage on Haden, so that may work to his advantage. However, I’m still going to choose Haden for this one, for once not by TKO, but rather by decision. He could win by TKO, he’s done it several times before but, in hopes of having some variety in the review, I’ll hope that these two can fight through all 3 rounds. Donkey’s Pick: Haden via TKO (Strikes) Our last battle before the Main Events is a monster showdown between Heavyweights Krol and Haden!  This is one I’ve been waiting for all week folks!  While the fights leading up to this one should set off some fireworks, expect TnT with this bad boy as two of the biggest, baddest meanies in the division face off to see who is closest to making a run at the top of the division! Krol has the slightest edge in both boxing and Muay Thai…and I do mean the slightest.  At the same time, Haden has the Jiu Jitsu advantage, although I’m fairly certain that’s mostly defensive and he’ll likely stand and throw hands!  Krol cannot be happy after losing a showdown with alliance-mate led Hero Shima last month that saw Shima earn a title shot with the win.  He’ll be looking for a little comeback this evening and will try to reclaim his form from the fight with Kekkonen where he was able to win via TKO. His manager, Action Jackson, is one of the best (again, full disclosure, an alliance-mate of Hare’s) at the Heavyweight, power-punching game so that’s a serious thing to take under advisement!  Likewise, Haden is no joke when it comes to his striking abilities despite his last six fights actually going to decisions, some for and some against him.  The most recent loss, three fights back, was for the title against the beast, Thoth Chontamenti, so that in itself is extremely impressive if you think about it.  Whoever wins this fight will position themselves for a title fight sooner than later.  Possibly as soon as August but we have to see how this one flows out first!  A winner? Hell, flip a coin…my coin says Haden makes it three in a row and earns his third title shot… *********************** Co-Main Event: Featured Lightweight Bout Kurt Cobain (10-4-0) v Ramon Rabbit (9-8-0) (Pick- Rabbit by KO) Fight number 9 will be a lightweight fight between Kurt Cobain and Ramon Rabbit. I have changed my mind, this will be the closest fight of the night. These two have identical skills. Literally, the same ranking in all 4 skills. How bizarre. They are also both very experienced fighters. Cobain’s 10-4 record (71% win rate) is quite a bit better than Rabbit’s 9-8 (53% win rate). This is probably why fans like Cobain better but hey, maybe his opponents were easier to beat than Rabbit’s. We can’t count Rabbit out, he still technically has a winning record and can match Cobain’s skills. And, since I like Rabbit’s name better and haven't really chosen an “underdog” to win yet tonight, I’m going to choose Rabbit for this one. I think he will win by KO, because I fear if it comes down to a decision he won’t win, so he must do it earlier. And I’m sick of guessing TKOs for the night. Plus, I think we would all like to see a good knockout this late into the night. Donkey’s Pick: Cobain via KO (Punch) Two popular, highly hyped Lightweights are set to go at it in our Co-Main Event of the evening tonight at the Bondi here as both of these two competitors attempt to work themselves back up the ladder and into position for a title shot down the line!  Cobain has been within sniffing distance of being the champ twice in two divisions now after challenging Michael Aalto at Featherweight back in November and then getting a shot at Lightweight Champ Frankie Logan last month.  With that decision loss against Logan he takes a slight step back but given he took the long-time champ the distance he could very easily work  himself back into the title picture within the next few months with some solid wins.  That quest starts tonight against Rabbit.  He’s a hard hitter who doesn’t pull any punches, so Rabbit beware! Rabbit has been hopping between wins and losses during his stay at Sucker Punch where he’s spent the entirety of his MMA career so far.  Yes, I had to use the hopping joke, Hare would have been disappointed if I didn’t.  Ha, see what I did there? I kill myself when Hare’s not around!  Anyways, your guess is as good as mine what Rabbit’s approach will be to this fight.  But I do know he better come with a hell of a strategy to avoid those heavy shots from Cobain!  With almost the exact same skillsets across the board for these two, anything goes…and given Rabbit has typically gone with a varied kickboxing approach, don’t be surprised to see him using some heavy leg kicks to slow down the hard-hitting Cobain!  I’m going with Cobain here, but I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if Rabbit hops right over him in the rankings following this fight!  HA!  I did it again! *********************** Main Event: Featured Featherweight Bout Magnificent Chulalongkorn (10-4-0) v Jaxon Bremner (5-4-0) (Pick- Bremner by Submission) The final fight of the night will be a featherweight (or skinny boy) fight between the Magnificent Chulalongkorn (why he had to make his name so hard to spell and pronounce is a mystery to me) and Jaxon Bremner. This is a very anticipated, and somewhat last minute, fight to top off the card. These two have been bickering back and forth for a while now, so it’s about time they get in the cage and try to back it up. It looks like it will be a close fight, but the fans seem to like Chulalongkorn better, likely because he has fought more than Bremner, so they know him better. But, out of spite because I had to struggle to type “Chulalongkorn” (which I have now taken to copying and pasting), I am going to choose Bremner for this fight, hopefully by submission since I haven’t predicted one of those happening yet. Either way it should be a very good fight, and I just hope Bremner doesn’t disappoint. Donkey’s Pick:  Chulalongkorn via TKO (Strikes) Our Main Event this evening features one of the most hyped, talked about, verbally contested and generally anticipated fights we’ve had in a while here at Sucker Punch!  Originally when this fight was offered Bremner was hesitant to take it given the Muay Thai advantage that Chulalongkorn holds.  However, these two are easily two of the most skilled, talented and competitive fighters in the Featherweight division and this was an almost unavoidable matchup that really did need to happen!  And I’m thinking the Muay Thai barely comes into play here as I expect a war between these two after all the trash-talk and gamesmanship we saw in the forums leading up to this fight which was made suddenly with only about a five day notice and then, “BAM!”, it was on like Donkey Kong! Once these two agreed to the fight it easily became the highest hyped fight on the card and made this a must-see, can’t wait for fight of the evening folks.  Simple as that.  Bremner will have the slight wrestling advantage in this one while Chula has the Muay Thai advantage as we discussed.  Outside that, these two are about as closely matched as they come with almost identical MMAT registration ID’s, age, etc.  And two managers hell-bent on destroying the other it would seem!  I fully expect to see Bremner attempt to utilize that edge in wrestling as he takes this fight to the ground and attempts to throw a submission on Chulalongkorn.  For his part, Chulalongkorn will likely come out headhunting and looking for some heavy strikes to ring Bremner’s bell!  He’s got power…he’s lost to Greg Conor twice but in the last fight before joining us at Sucker Punch he had Conor rocked and just about looked to be the victor in that one.  He didn’t finish then…but will he tonight…or will Bremner get it to the ground and take advantage?  Your guess is as good as mine!  Let’s get it on! *********************** So there we have it Sucker Punch fans! Woooo!  I think we’ve said enough!  The Bondi will be rocking tonight as all of Sydney finds out that SPPS 67 is rocking the joint!  We hope you’re ready for some great action because it’s coming at you hard and heavy in just about four hours folks! Till then, have fun and don’t forget… Keep it cheap and dirty…Sucker Punch Pro Series 355k+ style!
    • This is a known "bug" seems like Mike has some scripts running as bots, creating fighters at random IDs and putting them to fight. It just so happened you created a fighter the same time as the script, so you "imported" the bot fighter stats. PM Mike, he will have that figured it out. It happened with Camara at ID 360 as well
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