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Play by Play - Fighter's Fight Commentary

Event: WFC Rio de Janeiro 5     
Date:   Jul 22, 2023
#R1#
Dolph keeps his opponent at a distance with a nice jab. #KD#
Dolph cracks Dickweed with a big right hand that sends him to the floor! Dickweed looks wobbly but he's sprung back up to his feet straight away… can Dolph finish him? #ROC#Dickweed is rocked!
Dolph lands a big uppercut and this one is all over! His foe lies motionless on the canvas - a massive one punch knockout!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:08 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Ivan Dolph!
Ivan Dolph retains his super heavyweight title!
A victorious Ivan Dolph thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.

 

Event: WFC Fight Night 5     
Date:   Jul 15, 2023
#R1#
Salt tries for a takedown but Dickweed circles away easily#TD2#
and Dickweed counters with a takedown into side control.
Salt manages to get back to half guard.
Salt is trying is best to control the position here.
Dickweed seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Salt does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
Dickweed is thwarting Salt's attempts to control the position.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Salt is positioning himself well to prevent Dickweed advancing to mount.
Salt trying to control from the bottom.
Salt is holding on to half guard well.
Salt wants to improve his position but Dickweed is controlling well.
Salt has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Salt controlling the position well.
Salt makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Salt.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Salt holds on and takes a little breather.
Salt will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.#T1#
Salt has controlled the position for a good 20 seconds, which will no doubt be starting to frustrate his opponent.
Salt's ground tactics aren't going to win him many fans. Let's hope he's got fireworks for us if he gets back to his feet because he's not doing much on the ground.
Salt looking for a sweep. Not yet Salt, not yet.
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Salt swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Salt is controlling Dickweed's posture.#REF3#
The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.
Salt shoots in for a takedown. "Ole!" shouts Dickweed as he jumps to the side.
And Dickweed tries to counter it with a takedown but Salt pushes his down on his head and steps out.
Salt shoots for a double leg takedown but Dickweed sprawls well. He's pushed Salt's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Bryce Salt. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Nice takedown defense from Dickweed. No joy for Salt on that attempt. #T2#
The crowd are showing their displeasure at the lack of action as loud boos ring out around the arena.
Salt closes this distance looking for a takedown but Dickweed circles away.
Salt shoots in but Dickweed avoids the takedown attempt easily.
Dickweed is definitely looking for the counter takedowns here.
Salt is breathing heavily.#TD2#
Dickweed closes the distance and clinches up, looking for a takedown. He shifts his weight and gets a nice trip into half guard.
Dickweed is thwarting Salt's attempts to control the position.
Salt is trying is best to control the position here.
Salt tries to get to full guard but Dickweed has control of the leg.
Salt makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Salt.
Salt has his hands on Dickweed's head, controlling the position.
Salt is trying to control the position but Dickweed postures up.
Salt pulls Dickweed in close to prevent any damage. #T3#
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Salt is retaining full guard.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Salt holds on and takes a little breather.
Further stalling from Salt.
If this pace continues, the referee will definitely step in and force a standup.
Salt is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move. #REVR#
Well, if Salt is going to just lie there, perhaps we should talk about what we're having for dinner tonight… I'm having a ham and pineapple pizza… Yum. Can't wait.
Salt tries to pass the half guard into mount. Dickweed knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt. #T4#
Salt trying to control the pace.
Dickweed won't allow Salt to pass to mount.
Salt passes the half guard and he's now in mount! Big trouble for Dickweed!
Salt wants to take his opponent's back but Dickweed doesn't allow it.
Salt tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.
If it seems like I'm not saying a lot, it's just because Salt is stinking the place up with his stalling.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Salt takes Dickweed's back.
Salt has good solid back control here.
Dickweed is in a world of trouble here. He's outmatched on the ground here and he'd better get Salt off his back sharpish unless he wants to be submitted.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

A close round but Professor Dickweed will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.#R2#
Nice sprawl there from Dickweed as Salt shoots in.
Salt tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Dickweed swivels and escapes.#TD2#
Dickweed looking for a takedown here - he's got it.
Salt lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.#REVR#
Professor Dickweed has got the better of the ground game so far.
Salt trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Salt looking to pass the guard.
Salt is stalling in the full guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Salt looking to pass the guard. #T1#
Salt works a leg free and moves into half guard.
Salt controlling the pace.
Salt seems to have a rather negative gameplan on the ground. He seems keen to just score the takedown and hold down Dickweed for as long as he can get away with.
Salt trying to control from half guard but Dickweed is working away.
Salt is looking to pass the guard... He's managed it - he's now in full mount!
Salt controlling from mount. #T2#
Salt continues to stall.
Salt can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Dickweed is looking to escape.
Salt controlling from mount.
Salt wants to take Dickweed's back but he can't do it this time.
Dickweed keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard. #T3#
Salt content just to control the position here.
This is a sustained period of stalling by Salt.
Salt is dominating on the ground here - he's now on his opponent's back, looking to sink in the hooks. Dickweed is in real trouble.
Salt is looking cool and calm here, just waiting for a good opportunity to attack and finish the fight from this dominant position. #T4#
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed is really stuck here.
And that is the end of the round. The fighters go back to their corners.

Bryce Salt dominated that second round.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! This is the final round!#R3##TD#
Salt shoots in and gets a takedown into Dickweed's guard.
Dickweed tries to land a sweep but no joy. #SUB2#
Dickweed is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Salt is aware though and is defending well.
Salt controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.
Salt is pushing down on Dickweed's leg trying to pass to half guard. Dickweed is fighting to maintain full guard but Salt has managed to sneak the leg through.
Salt not doing much here.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Salt continues to hold on tight.#T1#
Salt frees up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
Salt looking to control and managing it successfully.
Salt is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Dickweed can do to turn this around?
Salt takes Dickweed's back.
Salt slows the pace down here. Having a little breather whilst he's in a dominant position, looking to rest and regain some energy, ready to go for the finish.
More hug and hope from Salt.#T2#
Dickweed tries to break free.
Salt controls the position.#T3#
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.#T4#
Dickweed is defending well here and trying to improve his position.
Dickweed is very frustrated here, being controlled quite effectively by Salt.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Salt trying to control momentarily.

And that's the end of the fight!
Bryce Salt showed his dominance in that final round.
I think Salt has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Daniel Bishop scores the fight 29:27
Judge Sam Margolis scores the fight 29:27
Judge Phil Schofield scores the fight 29:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Bryce Salt!

An out of breath Bryce Salt thanked his loyal fans in his post fight interview, giving them credit for his success over the course of his career.

 

Event: WFC Red Light District 2     
Date:   Jul 02, 2023
#R1#
Dickweed is aggressively charging in as Cartwright backs up avoiding any damage. Cartwright tosses out a jab and Dickweed runs right into it face first! Dickweed is out cold! Cartwright dropped down on all fours and is barking in Dickweed's face like a pit bull in celebration until the ref was finally able to pull him away!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:05 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Conrad Cartwright!
Conrad Cartwright decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.

 

Event: WFC Hawaii 4     
Date:   Jun 25, 2023
#R1#
Russian wants to clinch.#CL#
Russian moves into the clinch.
Dickweed blocking some punches.
Russian lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Dickweed is struggling to control the position.
Russian misses with the head strike.
A short right from Russian on the inside.
Dickweed looks winded!
Russian working some nice short punches in the clinch.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Russian lands with a light punch inside.
Russian has a couple of punches blocked by Dickweed.
Dickweed blocking some punches.
Russian scores with a nice hook to the head.#KD#
Russian drops Dickweed onto one knee with a big uppercut from the clinch! Dickweed is propped up by the cage and works his way back to his feet!#ROC#Dickweed is rocked!#T1#
Russian misses with a punch on the inside.
Dickweed is still on wobbly legs! Can Russian finish him?
Russian misses with some punches.
Russian misses with the head strike.
Russian misses with a punch on the inside.
Russian misses with some punches.
Dickweed blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Russian misses with some punches.
Russian working aggressively here.
Russian throws a punch but it's blocked by Dickweed.
Dickweed blocks an uppercut.
A head punch blocked on the inside by Dickweed.
Dickweed blocking some punches.
Russian misses with the head strike.
A head punch on the inside from Russian fails to land.
Russian tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Russian swings wildly with an uppercut but Dickweed uses good head movement to avoid it.
Dickweed seems to have recovered his senses.
Dickweed's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
Russian lands a hook that snaps the head of Dickweed backwards.
Russian misses with a hook from the clinch.
Russian avoids a wild elbow strike from Dickweed.
Russian lands an uppercut in the clinch that drops Dickweed to his knees! Russian keeps firing more shots against his stricken opponent and the referee jumps in to save him!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:59 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Big Russian!
Big Russian seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.

 

Event: WFC New York 4     
Date:   Jun 18, 2023
#R1##CL#
Russian fakes with an overhand right and moves in to clinch with Dickweed, pushing him back against the cage.
Russian lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Russian.
Russian lands a hook that snaps the head of Dickweed backwards.
Dickweed looks winded!
Russian scores with a shot to the side of Dickweed's head.
Russian lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of Dickweed backwards.
Russian lands a hook to the side of the head.
Russian lands a shoulder strike. #ROC#Dickweed is rocked!
Russian pushes Dickweed against the cage. Russian is working some dirty boxing. Russian pushes off with a quick right hook! Dickweed goes down! Dickweed tries to stand but stumbles back to his kness! Russian moves in to finish and the ref steps in to prevent any more damage!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:34 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Big Russian!
Big Russian retains his heavyweight title!
A victorious Big Russian thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.

 

Event: WFC Las Vegas 4     
Date:   Jun 10, 2023
#R1##CL#
Russian has closed the distance and engaged Dickweed in a clinch.
Dickweed looks really tired already! That doesn't bode well for a good, competitive fight!
Russian lands an uppercut.
Russian throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Dickweeds head.
Russian misses with the head strike.
Russian working aggressively here.
Dickweed blocks an uppercut.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Russian.
A shot in the inside from Russian. #KD#
Russian drops Dickweed onto one knee with a big uppercut from the clinch! Dickweed is propped up by the cage and works his way back to his feet!#ROC#Dickweed is rocked!
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Russian misses with a hook from the clinch.
Dickweed is still on wobbly legs! Can Russian finish him?
Russian misses with some punches.
Russian misses with a punch on the inside.
A head punch on the inside from Russian fails to land.
Russian fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Russian throws a head punch that misses.
Russian misses with some punches.
Russian misses with the head strike.
Dickweed blocking some punches.
Russian misses with a hook from the clinch.
Russian misses with a punch on the inside.
Russian misses with a hook from the clinch.
A head punch on the inside from Russian fails to land.
Russian throws a punch but it's blocked by Dickweed.
Russian fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Russian working aggressively here.
Russian throws a head punch that misses. #T1#
Russian misses with a short punch on the inside.
Russian tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Russian misses with a punch on the inside.
Russian misses with a punch on the inside.
Russian misses with a hook from the clinch.
Russian throws a head punch that misses.
Dickweed blocking some punches.
Dickweed blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Russian swings wildly with an uppercut but Dickweed uses good head movement to avoid it.
Russian fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Russian throws a punch but it's blocked by Dickweed.
Dickweed blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Dickweed seems to have recovered his senses.
Russian working some nice short punches in the clinch.
A nice left hand lands by Russian.
Russian throws a punch but it's blocked by Dickweed.
Russian lands a hook to the side of the head.
Russian lands a big right hand that drops Dickweed! The killer instinct kicks in and Russian finishes his opponent with a series of strikes from mount. A dominating finish by Russian!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:53 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Big Russian!
Big Russian retains his heavyweight title!
Big Russian seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.

 

Event: WFC Australia 1     
Date:   May 31, 2023
#R1##CL2#
Hart has taken the fight to the clinch.
Hart scores with an uppercut up the middle.
Hart throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Dickweeds head.
Hart taking a break, stalling in the clinch.
Hart avoiding damage.
Hart is working Dickweed over against the cage.
Dickweed is breathing heavily.
Hart working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely.
A nice right hand lands inside from Hart. #KD2#
Hart drops Dickweed onto one knee with a big uppercut from the clinch! Dickweed is propped up by the cage and works his way back to his feet!#ROC2#Dickweed is rocked!
This has been an exciting period of action!
Hart unloads a knee to the mid-section.
Oh Dickweed is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Hart throws a big uppercut that drops Dickweed! More strikes from Hart and the referee jumps in to stop the fight! Dickweed lies dazed against the cage as Hart celebrates with his cornermen!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:52 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Gaetan Hart!
Gaetan Hart is the new super heavyweight champion!
A victorious Gaetan Hart thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.

 

Event: WFC Canada 1     
Date:   May 20, 2023
#R1#
Dickweed needs to keep his hands up - Manifesto had a free shot at his head there.
Manifesto darts in and lands a big hook, right on the button! Dickweed's legs crumble underneath him as he falls to the canvas! The ref tackles Manifesto before he gets to land any more shots to his stricken foe.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:05 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Morbius Manifesto!

 

Event: WFC Tokyo 1     
Date:   May 07, 2023
#R1#
Dickweed moves away from the strike by Boy.
Boy looks to throw the jab but Dickweed is out of range.
Dickweed bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Boy stuffs the takedown attempt from Dickweed. Dickweed gets slowly back to his feet.
Boy's jab looks to have found its range, popping Dickweed under the eye.
Boy throws a right hand that misses #TD2#
and Dickweed counters with a nice shoot takedown that brings the fighters to the ground.
Dickweed is standing up over Boy. Boy looks to escape but Dickweed dives into side control. #REVR##SUB2#
Dickweed is working to tighten his grip on Boy's neck. He's isolated an arm and is working for an arm triangle. Boy has recognised the danger and is trying to turn with the submission but Dickweed is really squeezing tight and eventually Boy passes out! Dickweed breaks the hold and jumps onto the cage to celebrate! Submission of the night, I'd say!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:47 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Arm Triangle). Professor Dickweed!
Professor Dickweed is the new super heavyweight champion!
An out of breath Professor Dickweed thanked his loyal fans in his post fight interview, giving them credit for his success over the course of his career.

 

Event: WFC New York 3     
Date:   Apr 30, 2023
#R1#
Nice sprawl there from Dickweed as Jookiba shoots in.
Jookiba fails with the takedown#CL#
and Dickweed holds on and brings the fighters into a clinch.
Dickweed content to slow the pace in the clinch.
Jookiba throws a vicious knee straight up the middle but Dickweed blocks it with crossed arms.
Jookiba wants a takedown but no success here.
Professor Dickweed has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Jumba Jookiba.#TD#
Dickweed turns his hips and lands a very nice judo throw into side control!

Jookiba sneaks out the side door and pushes Dickweed away - he's back to his feet. The crowd show their appreciation for the escape.
Jookiba fails with the takedown.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Jookiba tries to clinch there but Dickweed circles away.
Dickweed is looking to counter the offense by Jookiba and move into the clinch.#TD#
Dickweed drives through with a takedown into guard.
Dickweed is pushing down on Jookiba's leg trying to pass to half guard. Jookiba is fighting to maintain full guard but Dickweed has managed to sneak the leg through.
Jookiba is looking to improve his position.
Dickweed content to control rather than advance. #T1#
Jookiba is trying to control but can't.
Dickweed trying to control the pace.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.#SUB#
Dickweed is working for a submission of some sort.
Jookiba really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Dickweed. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.
Dickweed slows the pace down in half guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.#T2#
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.#SUB#
Dickweed is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Jookiba sees it coming and defends easily.
Jookiba wants to get back to his feet.
Jookiba is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.#SUB#
Dickweed seems like he's working for an arm triangle here. He's freed his trapped foot and he's rotating nicely. Jookiba is in big trouble! He's tapping out! This one is aaaaaaaaaaaall over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:53 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Arm Triangle). Professor Dickweed!
Professor Dickweed thanked the fans post fight for their support.

 

Event: CACC 204: Sparxx vs Bennett     
Date:   Jun 06, 2021





175 cm
40 yrs
225 lbs



190 cm
29 yrs
205 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 19 wins and 14 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 4 wins and 1 losses; Guillo Perez !
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Jack Bonds and Percy O'Donnell.


The official calls the fighters to the middle and the contest is under way.
Perez shoots in looking for a takedown. Dickweed tries to sprawl out of it but Perez keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the ropes. Dickweed manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
Dickweed shoots in for a takedown but Perez shows good takedown defense.
Perez goes for a double leg but Dickweed avoids the attempt and the two fighters end up clinched against the ropes as Dickweed continues to drive forward.
Dickweed half commits to a counter takedown before pushing away, out of range.
Dickweed shoots in but no luck this time. #TD2#
Perez darts in and lands a nice takedown into half guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (0) vs (2) Perez
Perez is thwarting Dickweed's attempts to control the position.
Dickweed might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.#SUB2#
Perez is trying for a guillotine from the top but the pressure isn't in the right place so Dickweed is just riding it out for now. Perez eventually gives up the hold.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep. Perez is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.#T1#
Dickweed moves into full guard.
Dickweed keeping full guard, as Perez tries to pass.
Perez wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Perez looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Perez wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Perez engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Dickweed has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.#SUB#
Dickweed is active off his back here, looking for submissions. #T2#
Perez tries to free his leg and advance position but Dickweed is retaining full guard.
Dickweed trying to control the position.
Perez stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.
Dickweed has Perez pulled in close to control his posture. #SUB#
Perez is trying to tuck his arms in to keep them safe but Dickweed has managed to isolate one of them and has got a loose triangle. Perez is looking to defend but Dickweed has done well to lock his legs together - this could be big trouble for Perez ! Dickweed pulls down on the head and a little smile comes across his face - he knows he's got it. Yep, Perez taps out and this one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:50 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Triangle). Professor Dickweed!
A very excited looking Professor Dickweed made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.

 

Event: CACC 194: Jiurgite vs Kakuto 2     
Date:   May 02, 2021





175 cm
39 yrs
225 lbs



189 cm
26 yrs
216 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 18 wins and 14 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of New York, with a TWGC record of 12 wins and 5 losses; Hugo Boss!
The judges for this bout are Percy O'Donnell, Timothy Bukovac and Frank Antenori.


The official calls the fighters to the middle and the contest is under way.
Boss fakes high and shoots in for a takedown but Dickweed avoids it really well and circles away.
Dickweed shoots in for a takedown but Boss shows good takedown defense.
Boss shoots and misses #CL#
and Dickweed counters into the clinch. Nicely done.
Boss is working for a takedown up against the ropes. He can't get it on this occasion though.
Professor Dickweed has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Hugo Boss.#TD2#
Boss manages to pull guard.
Boss seems keen to control rather than go for a submission, at least for now.
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Boss swivels though and keeps the full guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed won't allow Boss to sweep him here. #T1#
Boss keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass.
Dickweed trying to control but Boss is working from the bottom.
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Boss swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Dickweed has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Dickweed is working hard here to advance position.
Dickweed passes easily into side control. Nice work.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (3) vs (0) Boss#T2#
Boss tries to buck Dickweed off but Dickweed is having none of it.
Dickweed is looking to take a break and control but Boss is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Boss tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Dickweed trying to control the position but Boss is working away. #SUB#
Dickweed thinks about going for a far side armbar but bails out and retains the dominant position instead. #SUB#
Dickweed tries for a kimura but Boss is defending well. #T3#
Boss is looking to reverse the position.
Dickweed works to advance to full mount. Boss defends for a few seconds but eventually he succumbs.
Score +2 for reaching mount: Dickweed (5) vs (0) Boss
Boss is squirming around, avoiding Dickweed's attempts to control the action.
Boss sneaks a leg back under and regains half guard and is working straight away to try and get back to guard. He hasn't managed just yet though.#T4##SUB#
Dickweed looking for a submission but Boss manages to get full guard, putting an end to that submission attempt.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed slips nicely into half guard.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Boss is defending well.
Boss is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Dickweed wants to free his trapped foot but Boss is holding on for dear life with his legs. #T5#
Boss tries to roll over but Dickweed keeps him under control.#SUB#
Dickweed is working for a kimura but Boss is defending it quite comfortably.
Dickweed wants to free his trapped foot but Boss is holding on for dear life with his legs. #T6##SUB#
Boss is defending against the submission attempts here by Dickweed.
Boss trying to control but Dickweed postures up.
The fighters are battling for position here. Boss manages to regain full guard. Nice work. #T7##SUB#
Dickweed drops back looking for a leg! Boss is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and Boss manages to kick Dickweed off! Dickweed jumps back into Boss's guard.
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Boss is retaining full guard.
Dickweed trying to control but Boss is working from the bottom.
Dickweed pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Boss is keeping the position for now.
Boss is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Boss keeps moving. #T8#
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Boss is keeping the position.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Boss holds on and takes a little breather.
Dickweed trying to control but Boss is working from the bottom.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard. #T9#
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Boss is on top in guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (5) vs (2) Boss
Boss wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Boss is pushing down on Dickweed's leg trying to pass to half guard. Dickweed is fighting to maintain full guard but Boss has managed to sneak the leg through.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep. Boss is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Boss wants to take a breather but Dickweed is having none of it.
Boss prevents Dickweed from improving his position.#T10#
Boss is controlling the pace.
Dickweed is controlling Boss's trapped leg to prevent Boss from advancing to side control.
Boss controlling the action here.
Dickweed tries to roll over but Boss keeps him under control.#T11#
Dickweed is looking to control Boss's leg but it's slowly edging free. Can Dickweed avoid being mounted?
Boss wants to lay and pray for a moment but Dickweed keeps working.
Dickweed is pressing down on Boss's left leg trying to get back to full guard. He's managed it.
Boss wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Dickweed looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Dickweed is trying to control the position but Boss postures up. #T12#
Dickweed seems keen to control Boss's posture.#SUB#
Dickweed is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Boss is aware though and is defending well.#SUB#
Dickweed had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Boss defends it easily.
Boss trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed wants to hit a sweep here but Boss passes into full mount! Oh no, disaster for Dickweed there!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (5) vs (5) Boss
Dickweed is desperately trying to improve his position but Boss has a good base and remains in mount.#T13#
Boss avoids the attempt from Dickweed to control.
Dickweed is trying to escape the mount.
Boss controlling the position easily from mount.
Dickweed is trying to escape the mount.
Boss trying to control but Dickweed is having none of it. #T14#
Boss avoids the attempt from Dickweed to control.
Boss sitting in mount, just looking to control for the moment.
Boss trying to control but he's not successful this time.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed working to try and regain half guard.

And that's the end of the fight!
As we have tied on points, we go to a tie breaker and Dickweed gets a bonus point for attempting more subs.
Dickweed takes the fight on points by 6 to 5.
Professor Dickweed seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.

 

Event: CACC 186: Ribbler vs Lee     
Date:   Apr 04, 2021





180 cm
31 yrs
211 lbs



175 cm
39 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Las Vegas, with a TWGC record of 0 wins and 4 losses; Nahdar Vebb! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 17 wins and 14 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are Timothy Bukovac, Frank Antenori and Percy O'Donnell.


The official calls the fighters to the middle and the contest is under way.#TD2#
Dickweed closes the distance and looks for a trip takedown... aaaand he's got it - Dickweed lands in his opponent's guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Vebb (0) vs (2) Dickweed#SUB#
Vebb is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Dickweed is aware though and is defending well.
Vebb wants to sweep but no luck.
Dickweed engaging in some classic timewasting tactics. #SUB#
Vebb is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Dickweed defends well.
Dickweed trying to control but Vebb is working from the bottom.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Vebb controls Dickweed momentarily but Dickweed frees himself.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Vebb keeps moving. #T1#
Dickweed stands and throws Vebb's legs to the side, diving into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Vebb (0) vs (5) Dickweed
Vebb is trying to control Dickweed's posture but Dickweed avoids it.
Vebb manages to land a sweep and he's now on top! Lovely Jiu Jitsu!
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Vebb (2) vs (5) Dickweed#SUB#
Vebb is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.
The fighters are battling for position here. Dickweed manages to regain full guard. Nice work. #T2#
Dickweed trying to control the position.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Dickweed is controlling Vebb's posture.
Dickweed looking for a sweep. Not yet Dickweed, not yet. #SUB#
Vebb drops back looking for a leg! Dickweed is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and Dickweed manages to kick Vebb off! Vebb jumps back into Dickweed's guard.
Dickweed wants to sweep but no luck.
Vebb wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Dickweed is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Vebb trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom. #T3#
Vebb won't allow Dickweed to sweep him here. #SUB2#
Dickweed looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
Vebb stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.
Vebb wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Dickweed looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Vebb trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Vebb is really struggling to control Dickweed but he's trying to hold on to the position.#T4#
Vebb controls the pace of the fight for a moment.#SUB2#
Dickweed is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Vebb defends well.
Vebb wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving. #SUB2#
Dickweed working for a triangle but Vebb defends it easily.
Vebb wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving. #T5#
Vebb is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.#SUB#
Vebb drops back looking for a leg! Dickweed is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and Dickweed manages to kick Vebb off! Vebb jumps back into Dickweed's guard.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Vebb from controlling successfully.
Dickweed controls Vebb momentarily but Vebb frees himself. #SUB2#
Dickweed working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Vebb doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Vebb manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem. #SUB2#
Dickweed had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Vebb defends it easily.#T6#
Dickweed lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Vebb (2) vs (7) Dickweed#SUB#
Vebb throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Dickweed pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Vebb is keeping the position for now.
Dickweed not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up. #SUB#
Vebb has his foot on Dickweed's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Dickweed works his way back into a safe position though.
Dickweed engaging in some classic timewasting tactics. #T7#
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Vebb swivels though and keeps the full guard. #SUB#
Vebb looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening. #SUB#
Vebb has his foot on Dickweed's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Dickweed works his way back into a safe position though.
Vebb keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass. #SUB#
Vebb looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
Vebb being controlled here, momentarily. #T8#
Dickweed pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Vebb is keeping the position for now.
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Vebb is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Vebb is keeping the position.
Dickweed trying to control but Vebb is working from the bottom. #SUB#
Vebb is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
Vebb keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass. #T9#
Dickweed is frustrating his opponent with some stalling tactics from top position.
Dickweed trying to control but Vebb is working from the bottom.
Vebb keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass.
Vebb wants to control here, rather than go for any submissions from the bottom. At least for now. #T10##SUB#
Vebb is looking for a triangle but Dickweed pushes his legs off easily.
Vebb wants to control but Dickweed passes easily into half guard. #SUB#
Vebb is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Dickweed pulls his head out easily.
Dickweed trying to mount his opponent but Vebb defends it.
Vebb is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Dickweed seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Vebb does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back. #T11##SUB#
Vebb actively working from the bottom here.#SUB2#
Dickweed is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Vebb has managed to free his arm - good work. #SUB#
Vebb actively working from the bottom here.
Dickweed prevents Vebb from improving his position.#SUB2#
Dickweed is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Vebb doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time Dickweed.
Dickweed tries to pass to full mount but Vebb defends it. #T12#
Vebb is refusing to be controlled, as Dickweed sits in half guard.
Vebb has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Dickweed is working away from the top position though.
Dickweed is looking to take a break and control but Vebb is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom. #SUB2#
Dickweed is trying to work for a kimura but Vebb is defending well. #T13#
Vebb is looking to control Dickweed's leg but it's slowly edging free. Can Vebb avoid being mounted?
Dickweed is looking to advance position but Vebb won't allow it. #SUB#
Vebb actively working from the bottom here.
Vebb is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Dickweed wants to free his trapped foot but Vebb is holding on for dear life with his legs. #T14#
Dickweed looks over to his corner - he wants some instructions but his corner are not responding. #SUB2#
Dickweed looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.
Vebb is refusing to be controlled, as Dickweed sits in half guard.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dickweed wins on points by 7 to 2.
A relieved looking Professor Dickweed thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.

 

Event: DK Polaras Superfights 1     
Date:   Feb 13, 2021





184 cm
35 yrs
160 lbs



175 cm
39 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the super heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Las Vegas, with a TWGC record of 11 wins and 4 losses; Samuel Cooke! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 16 wins and 14 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are Cecil Peabody, Alan Glass and George Francis.


The official calls the fighters to the middle and the contest is under way.#TD2#
Dickweed scores with a nice takedown into half guard. Let's see what he's got on the ground.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Cooke (0) vs (2) Dickweed#SUB#
Cooke actively working from the bottom here.#SUB2#
Dickweed is trying for a guillotine from the top but the pressure isn't in the right place so Cooke is just riding it out for now. Dickweed eventually gives up the hold.
Dickweed uses his free foot to push down on Cooke's thigh. Eventually he works his other foot free and he's advanced to mount - this is trouble for Cooke.
Score +3 for passing guard: Cooke (0) vs (5) Dickweed
Cooke is looking to get to half guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.#T1#
Dickweed wants to control the pace but Cooke is squirming around nicely.
Dickweed with some aggressive grappling here, looking for the finish.
My spies in Hey Steves Fight Shack inform me that Dickweed has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Cooke is in all sorts of trouble here.
Dickweed looking to control and managing it successfully.
Cooke is squirming around, avoiding Dickweed's attempts to control the action. #T2#
Dickweed controlling the pace for now.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
It looks like Dickweed might be adopting somewhat of a lay and pray gameplan here, which I'm sure won't go down too well with the paying fans in attendance... Or the ring announcers come to think of it.#SUB2#
Dickweed looking to secure an arm triangle but Cooke defends it well. #SUB2#
Dickweed swings around for an armbar but it's a sloppy attempt and Cooke is now in Dickweed's guard. A big mistake from Dickweed there, giving up the dominant position!
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Cooke (2) vs (5) Dickweed#SUB2#
Dickweed is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Cooke is aware though and is defending well.#SUB2#
Cooke sitting in guard doing not very much at all here. Dickweed doesn't need a second invitation though! He's locked up a guillotine and he's squeezing tight! That is tiiiiiiiiight! Cooke paying the price for stalling here - he's pushing hard on the arm trying to free himself but it's no use! He's tapped! WOW, quick submission from Dickweed - great work!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:57 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Guillotine). Professor Dickweed!
A victorious Professor Dickweed thanked his army of followers in his post fight interview, telling people to make sure they follow him on Twitter.

 

Event: Quick Fight Championship     
Date:   Oct 23, 2020
#R1#
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!#TD2#
Dickweed closes the distance and gets a double leg, slamming Gummybear to the mat! Gummybear manages to get full guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Dickweed passes into half guard.
Dickweed frees up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
Dickweed looking to control and managing it successfully.
Dickweed is dominating on the ground here - he's now on his opponent's back, looking to sink in the hooks. Gummybear is in real trouble. #SUB2#
Dickweed is working for the choke. I would put my money on him to finish from this position. He's rolled onto his back and has dragged Gummybear with him. Gummybear is trying to defend but Dickweed has an arm under the chin now! Gummybear grimaces and is forced to tap out!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:54 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (RNC). Professor Dickweed!
Our winner, Professor Dickweed, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.

 

Event: TWGC 30 (265+lbs, D1): Montreal Qualifier - Round 1     
Date:   Jul 09, 2020





175 cm
36 yrs
225 lbs



220 cm
21 yrs
218 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the super heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 16 wins and 13 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Helsinki, with a TWGC record of 1 wins and 0 losses; Seppo Sepi!
The judges for this bout are Ian Loll, Elvis Blanc and Dillan Fox.


The fighters connect hands in the middle of the mat and we are under way.#CL2#
Sepi has taken the fight to the clinch.
Sepi jumps guard but Dickweed stands there with Sepi around his waist. Sepi gives up and drops back to his feet. We remain in the clinch.
Sepi jumps guard but Dickweed turns him against the cage and keeps the fight standing. #TD2#
Sepi decides to pull guard.
Dickweed controlling from the top position.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Sepi swivels though and keeps the full guard. #SUB2#
Sepi working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Dickweed doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Dickweed manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Sepi controlling Dickweed's posture. #T1#
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Sepi is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Sepi controls Dickweed momentarily but Dickweed frees himself.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Sepi looking to sweep using the butterfly guard but Dickweed puts pay to that idea as he passes nicely into half guard.
Dickweed wants to lay and pray for a moment but Sepi keeps working.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.#SUB#
Dickweed is looking for a kimura but Sepi is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Dickweed to get the leverage.
Sepi wants to control but Dickweed is keeping busy and won't allow it. #T2#
Sepi is pressing down on Dickweed's left leg trying to get back to full guard. He's managed it.
Sepi controls Dickweed momentarily but Dickweed frees himself.
Sepi is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.#SUB2#
Sepi looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
Sepi is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Sepi lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (0) vs (2) Sepi#T3#
Sepi's corner is telling him to maintain position.
Sepi trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Sepi trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Dickweed looking for a sweep. Not yet Dickweed, not yet.
Dickweed wants to control here, rather than go for any submissions from the bottom. At least for now. #SUB#
Dickweed looking for submissions from the bottom but instead Sepi passes into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (0) vs (5) Sepi
Dickweed prevents Sepi from moving into mount.
We've been hearing good reports from Dickweed's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.
Sepi trying to control the position but Dickweed is working away. #T4#
Dickweed tries to bench press Sepi off him but Sepi keeps the position.
Sepi moving around in side mount but really he's just happy to control for now.
Dickweed might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Dickweed regains half guard.
Sepi wants to pass the guard but Dickweed is defending well. #SUB2#
Sepi is looking for a kimura here.
Dickweed is pressing down on Sepi's left leg trying to get back to full guard. He's managed it.#T5#
Sepi slips nicely into half guard.
Sepi tries to pass to full mount but Dickweed defends it.
Dickweed works his way to full guard. Good work.
Sepi wants to pass the guard but Dickweed is keeping the position.
Dickweed is controlling Sepi's posture.
Sepi postures up.
Dickweed wants to control the position but Sepi says "no thanks buddy" and passes to half guard.
Sepi trying to control from half guard but Dickweed is working away. #T6#
Dickweed slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Dickweed trying to control the position.
Sepi wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Dickweed wants to sweep here but Sepi controlling him for the moment.
Sepi trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Sepi's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (5) Sepi
Sepi looking to control. #T7#
Sepi is pulling down on Dickweed's head. It's preventing any offense from Dickweed, at least for the moment.
Sepi not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Sepi swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Sepi wants to sweep but no luck.
Sepi is trying to keep Dickweed in close.
Dickweed passes Sepi's left leg - he's now in half guard. #T8#
Sepi trying to hold on to Dickweed's head to control him but Dickweed postures up.
Dickweed is looking to advance position but Sepi won't allow it.
Sepi tries to roll over but Dickweed keeps him under control.
Sepi trying to control here.
Sepi regains full guard. Nicely done.
Dickweed sitting in guard here, content to control. #T9#
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Sepi is keeping the position.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Sepi keeps moving.
Dickweed being controlled here momentarily. #SUB2#
Sepi looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet. #T10##SUB2#
Sepi looking for submissions from the bottom but instead Dickweed passes into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (5) vs (5) Sepi#SUB#
Dickweed is trying to land an Americana. He has the arm isolated but Sepi is keeping cool and he's avoided the danger for now. #SUB#
Dickweed looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything.
Sepi tries to buck Dickweed off but Dickweed is having none of it.
Sepi wants to control but Dickweed postures up.#T11#
Sepi tries to improve position but can't.
Sepi holds on to Dickweed's head and controls the position momentarily.
Dickweed wants to control for a moment but Sepi uses the opportunity to move back to half guard.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Sepi is defending well.
Sepi wants to improve his position but Dickweed is controlling well.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Sepi is defending well. #T12#
Sepi trying to hold on to Dickweed's head to control him but Dickweed postures up. #SUB#
Dickweed is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and Sepi defends it well.
Sepi makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Sepi.
Sepi is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.#T13#
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Sepi is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Sepi looking to hit a scissor sweep but Dickweed is one step ahead there.
Dickweed pushing down on Sepi's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.
Sepi is looking to control Dickweed's leg but it's slowly edging free. Can Sepi avoid being mounted?
Sepi is staying active underneath Dickweed, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Dickweed is looking to stall here but Sepi recovers full guard. #T14#
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Sepi is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Sepi is retaining full guard.
Sepi not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Sepi looking for a sweep. Not yet Sepi, not yet.
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Sepi is retaining full guard.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed pushing down on Sepi's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.
Sepi trying to hold on to Dickweed's head to control him but Dickweed postures up.

And that's the end of the fight!
As we have tied on points and both fighters attempted the same number of subs, we will decide the bout based on the toss of a coin! Dickweed is heads and Sepi is tails.
The coin is in the air and it lands... tails!
Sepi wins on points by 6 to 5.
A very excited looking Seppo Sepi made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.

 

Event: Quick Fight Championship     
Date:   Jul 08, 2020
#R1#
The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
We've got one fighter who appears to only be looking to counter and the other not looking particularly aggressive either, so we could be in for a dull fight.
Raymaker slaps away a takedown attempt from Dickweed, before circling back to the center of the mat.#TD2#
Dickweed changes levels and drives through with a really nice takedown into side control. Raymaker looks really pissed at himself for not defending that better.
Dickweed just content to control the position.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.#SUB2#
Dickweed working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
My spies in Hey Steves Fight Shack inform me that Dickweed has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Raymaker knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Dickweed on the ground.#SUB2#
Dickweed thinks about going for a far side armbar but bails out and retains the dominant position instead. #T1#
Dickweed is pausing for a moment. What's he doing? It looks like he's clearing his nose. Oh dude! He's shot a load of snot all down Raymaker's shoulder. That is not cool.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed trying to control the position but Raymaker is working away.
Raymaker wants to get back to his feet but Dickweed drags him back down.#T2#
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Raymaker prevents Dickweed from moving into mount. #SUB2#
Dickweed tries for a kimura but Raymaker is defending well.
Raymaker is being controlled here. #SUB2#
Dickweed working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
Dickweed tries to cartwheel into mount but he doesn't manage it. #T3#
Dickweed wants to control but Raymaker is keeping him busy.
Dickweed tries to cartwheel into mount but he doesn't manage it.
Dickweed remains in side control and seems content to stay there. It's a versatile position from which he can work both strikes and submissions, whilst maintaining that control, so maybe he'll sit here for a while. #T4#
A few boos can be heard. I'm sure they will multiply if the fighters don't pick up the pace.#SUB2#
Dickweed working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
Dickweed tries to advance to mount but can't.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed trying to control the action but Raymaker is working from the bottom.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Professor Dickweed dominated that round.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.#R2##TD2#
Dickweed closes the distance and after a bit of a stuggle, scores a takedown into Raymaker's guard.
Dickweed slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.
Professor Dickweed has got the better of the ground game so far.
Dickweed laying and praying for a moment but Raymaker takes advantage and regains half guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Raymaker looks like he's trying to stand up. #T1##SUB2#
Dickweed is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Raymaker sees it coming and defends easily.
Dickweed wants to free his trapped foot but Raymaker is holding on for dear life with his legs.
Dickweed looks over to his corner - he wants some instructions but his corner are not responding.
Raymaker on his back here. We all know that wrestlers don't like being on their back so let's see if Raymaker tries to get out of the position.
Dickweed prevents Raymaker from standing back up.
Dickweed works his way into full mount!
Raymaker stops Dickweed from taking his back. Still, being mounted isn't any better. #T2##SUB2#
Dickweed goes for an armbar but he's not got it… Raymaker turns into him and now he's in Dickweed's guard.
Raymaker will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Dickweed is on top in guard. #REVB#
Dickweed stands and throws Raymaker's legs to the side, diving into side control. #SUB2#
Dickweed looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything. #T3#
Dickweed wants to control but Raymaker is keeping him busy.
Dickweed controls the position.#SUB2#
Dickweed working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
Raymaker is trying to stand back up. He's worked his way up against the cage but Dickweed has just dragged him back down to the mat.#T4#
The crowd are hurling abuse towards the fighters... You can hardly blame them though because there isn't a lot going on in the fight.
Dickweed tries to advance to mount but Raymaker denies him.
Raymaker is not content to let Dickweed control the position.
Raymaker is trying to buck Dickweed off.#SUB2#
Dickweed is looking for a kimura. He might have it! No, Raymaker has escaped the position, nice work there.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!#SUB2#
Dickweed working hard here to secure a kimura but he's not really in the right position for it.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Professor Dickweed showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!#R3##TD2#
Dickweed closes the distance, clinches up and gets a nice trip takedown into side control. Very smooth.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed taking a breather here. #SUB2#
Dickweed tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though. #T1##SUB2#
Dickweed is trying to land an Americana. He has the arm isolated but Raymaker is keeping cool and he's avoided the danger for now.
A lull in the action here.
Raymaker is working hard to escape and get back to his feet. After a battle for position, Dickweed asserts his dominance and retains side control.#T2#
The crowd are getting on the fighters' backs, as the pace has dropped off in the last minute or so.
Dickweed controlling the position. #SUB2#
Dickweed tries for a kimura but Raymaker is defending well.
Dickweed is looking to take a break and control but Raymaker is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom. #T3##SUB2#
Dickweed tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no Dickweed has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!
Raymaker wants to get back to his feet.
Dickweed has been the more effective fighter overall so far.
You can see the frustration on Raymaker's face as Dickweed controls the position.
Kai Raymaker has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!#T4#
My god... these two guys really need to pick up the pace or everyone will leave to go get a beer.#SUB2#
Dickweed tries for a kimura but Raymaker is defending well.
Dickweed trying to control the action but Raymaker is working from the bottom.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed tries to advance to mount but can't.

And that's the end of the fight!
Professor Dickweed comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I've got Dickweed winning every round here. Surely the decision will go his way and he'll pick up a well deserved decision victory. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Ian Loll scores the fight 27:30
Judge Trevor Gratis scores the fight 27:30
Judge Dillan Fox scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Professor Dickweed!

A relieved looking Professor Dickweed thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.
The defeated Kai Raymaker had this to say: 'retire i will'.

 

Event: CACC 103     
Date:   Jun 27, 2020





220 cm
21 yrs
218 lbs



175 cm
36 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Helsinki, with a TWGC record of 0 wins and 0 losses; Seppo Sepi! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 16 wins and 12 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are Frank Dennis, Robert Twigg and Tiny Johnson.


The fighters connect hands in the middle of the mat and we are under way.
Dickweed misses with a takedown attempt - Sepi sprawls well and throws a nice strike on the way out which just misses.
Sepi really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Sepi tries to clinch but is not successful on this occasion.
Dickweed feints the counter takedown.
Dickweed stuffs the takedown.#CL#
Sepi rushes Dickweed and pushes him back against the ropes in a clinch.#TD#
Sepi ties up his opponent against the ropes and manages to drag the fight down to the ground. Sepi no doubt will be looking to work submissions from his guard.
Dickweed controls the pace of the fight for a moment.
Dickweed trying to control but Sepi is working from the bottom.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed being controlled here momentarily.
Sepi manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Dickweed manages to get himself to full guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Sepi (2) vs (0) Dickweed#T1#
Dickweed has a butterfly guard looking to sweep but Sepi has passed into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Sepi (5) vs (0) Dickweed
Dickweed gets one leg under and gets the fight to half guard.
Dickweed tries to roll over but Sepi keeps him under control.
Sepi trying to control the action but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Sepi will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.#SUB#
Sepi is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and Dickweed defends it well.
Dickweed wants to control but Sepi passes into side.
Score +3 for passing guard: Sepi (8) vs (0) Dickweed#T2#
Dickweed is trying to get back to half guard.
Dickweed struggling a bit here.
Sepi trying to control the action but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep.
Sepi is looking to take a break and control but Dickweed is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Dickweed is trying to improve his position.
Sepi wants to lay and pray for a moment but Dickweed keeps working. #T3#
Dickweed sneaks a leg under to get back to half guard.
Dickweed is refusing to be controlled, as Sepi sits in half guard. #SUB#
Sepi is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Dickweed doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time Sepi.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
Dickweed makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Dickweed.
Dickweed looking to control. #T4#
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Sepi from controlling successfully.
Sepi pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Dickweed is keeping the position for now.
Dickweed is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Dickweed working a defensive guard but Sepi manages to pass into side control anyway.
Score +3 for passing guard: Sepi (11) vs (0) Dickweed
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.#SUB#
Sepi is trying to get an arm triangle but Dickweed is defending well.
Sepi tries to move to mount but Dickweed blocks the move with his legs.
Dickweed tries to improve position but can't.
Dickweed has found himself in a tricky position here. He's been working his transitions in training so let's see if he can work his way out of it.#T5#
Dickweed is still trying to improve position.
Sepi is looking to take a break and control but Dickweed is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom. #SUB#
Sepi is looking to finish here, going for an Americana. Dickweed knows the correct defense though, so he's OK. #SUB#
Sepi looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything. #SUB#
Sepi looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything. #T6#
Dickweed is trying to improve his position.
Dickweed regains half guard.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep. Sepi is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.#SUB#
Sepi seems to be working for a kimura but Dickweed defends the submission attempt.
Dickweed tries to get to full guard but Sepi has control of the leg.
Dickweed is pressing down on Sepi's left leg trying to get back to full guard. He's managed it.#T7#
Dickweed working a defensive guard here.
Dickweed is looking to sweep but instead, Sepi has passed into half guard. #SUB#
Sepi wants to work for an arm triangle but Dickweed is really keeping half guard well and defending the submission attempt.
Sepi is keen to just control but Dickweed is a slippery customer.
Dickweed is trying to maintain the position but Sepi is very close to passing his half guard.#SUB#
Sepi seems to be looking for submissions.
Dickweed works his way to full guard. Good work.
Dickweed tries to land a sweep but no joy. #T8##SUB2#
Dickweed is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Sepi is aware though and is defending well.#SUB2#
Dickweed is looking for a triangle but Sepi pushes his legs off easily.
Sepi trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Sepi stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.
Dickweed is trying to hold Sepi in close to prevent damage but Sepi has managed to pass into half guard.
Dickweed tries to get to full guard but Sepi has control of the leg.
Sepi is keen to just control but Dickweed is a slippery customer.
Dickweed wants to get back to full guard.#T9#
Sepi is looking to pass the guard... He's managed it - he's now in full mount!
Score +3 for passing guard: Sepi (14) vs (0) Dickweed
Dickweed slips a leg in and gets back to half guard.
Dickweed is looking to improve his position. #SUB#
Sepi is working for a submission of some sort. #SUB#
Sepi is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Dickweed sees it coming and defends easily.
Dickweed preventing any damage for now, controlling his opponent's head.
Dickweed moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.
Sepi has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.#T10#
Dickweed not looking particularly offensive just at the moment. #SUB2#
Dickweed has his foot on Sepi's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Sepi works his way back into a safe position though.
Sepi preventing the sweep.
Dickweed is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Sepi (14) vs (2) Dickweed#SUB2#
Dickweed wants to work for an arm triangle but Sepi is really keeping half guard well and defending the submission attempt.
Dickweed trying to control from half guard but Sepi is working away. #SUB2#
Dickweed seems to be looking for submissions. #T11#
Sepi trying to control from the bottom. #SUB2#
Dickweed looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.
Sepi is controlling Dickweed's trapped leg to prevent Dickweed from advancing to side control.
Sepi is looking to improve his position. #T12#
Sepi has a hand on Dickweed's thigh, trying to get back to full guard. Dickweed takes advantage of the position though and mounts him!
Score +3 for passing guard: Sepi (14) vs (5) Dickweed
Sepi is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.
Dickweed prevents Sepi from getting the reversal.
Dickweed controlling the position easily from mount. #T13#
Dickweed is looking to take Sepi's back but instead Sepi gets back to half guard. Nice work.
Dickweed is looking to advance position but Sepi won't allow it.
Dickweed wants to take a breather but Sepi is having none of it.
Sepi wants to improve his position but Dickweed is controlling well.
Sepi is working hard here to advance position.#T14#
Sepi works his way to full guard. Good work.
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Sepi is retaining full guard.
Sepi looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Sepi seems to have improved his submission grappling technique since last time we saw him. Let's see if he can pull off a submission.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!#SUB#
Sepi working for submissions but it's allowed Dickweed to get to half guard. #SUB#
Sepi is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Dickweed pulls his head out easily.

And that's the end of the fight!
Sepi takes the fight on points by 14 to 5.
A very excited looking Seppo Sepi made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.

 

Event: CACC 101     
Date:   Jun 20, 2020





201 cm
34 yrs
205 lbs



175 cm
36 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of London, with a TWGC record of 10 wins and 12 losses; Mozes Amaury! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 15 wins and 12 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are Robert Twigg, George Francis and Daniel Franklin.


The fighters connect hands in the middle of the mat and we are under way.#CL#
Amaury rushes Dickweed and pushes him back against the ropes in a clinch.
Amaury has dropped down and is looking to force the takedown but it's defended by Dickweed after a bit of a struggle.
Amaury tries to score a body lock takedown but Dickweed shows good agility there to stay on his feet.
Amaury is working for a takedown up against the ropes. He can't get it on this occasion though.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Mozes Amaury. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Amaury wants a takedown.
Amaury drops down for a takedown but doesn't get it.
Dickweed is working for takedown but Amaury is calmly controlling the position for now.
Dickweed is defending well against a takedown attempt.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Amaury wants a takedown but no success here.
Amaury is working for takedown but Dickweed is calmly controlling the position for now.
Dickweed gets underhooks to prevent Amaury's takedown attempt.
Amaury is working on a leg, looking for a takedown but Dickweed is defending well.
Amaury tries to score a body lock takedown but Dickweed shows good agility there to stay on his feet.#T1#
Amaury is pressed up against the ropes. Dickweed has hold of a leg and is looking to drag Amaury down to the mat. Amaury avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance. #TD2#
Dickweed changes levels and drives through with a really nice takedown into side control. Amaury looks really pissed at himself for not defending that better.
Score +4 for clean takedown past guard: Amaury (0) vs (4) Dickweed
Dickweed advances to full mount.
Score +2 for reaching mount: Amaury (0) vs (6) Dickweed
Amaury working to try and regain half guard.
Dickweed trying to control but Amaury is having none of it.
Amaury is trying to escape the mount but Dickweed keeps good control and instead manages to take Amaury's back.
Score +3 for taking back: Amaury (0) vs (9) Dickweed#SUB2#
Dickweed has his hand under the chin of his opponent looking for the choke. He's nearly got it! This one could be all over! But no, Amaury has freed his hand and lives to survive another… well, another couple of seconds at least!
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.#T2#
Amaury is very frustrated here, being controlled quite effectively by Dickweed.
Amaury rolls, trying to escape but Dickweed keeps control of the position. #SUB2#
Amaury defends a rear naked choke attempt by controlling one of Dickweed's arms.
Amaury is defending well here and trying to improve his position. #SUB2#
Dickweed looking for the choke but no joy.
I really don't envy Amaury right now. #T3#
Dickweed is looking cool and calm here, just waiting for a good opportunity to attack and finish the fight from this dominant position. #SUB2#
Dickweed is looking for the choke from the back position but Amaury is controlling his hands well. #SUB2#
Amaury defending nicely against the rear naked choke attempt.
My spies in Hey Steves Fight Shack inform me that Dickweed has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Amaury tries to break free.
Amaury is working hard here to advance position.
Dickweed gets his hands free as Amaury looks to control. #T4#
Amaury is in a bad position, trying to hold on for dear life but he is really struggling to maintain any sort of control.#SUB2#
Dickweed is looking to finish the fight by rear naked choke. Amaury knows exactly what he's got planned though, so he's defending well. Maybe a few strikes would soften Amaury for a finish.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.#SUB2#
Dickweed looking for the choke from the back.
Dickweed is hanging on to Amaury's back as he tries to escape.
Amaury trying to control the hands but Dickweed won't let him.
Amaury's corner are yelling at him, telling him to just focus on controlling Dickweed's hands.#T5##SUB2#
Amaury showing good submission defense here.
Dickweed wants to control but Amaury is keeping busy.
Amaury tries to break free.
A lull in the action here. #T6##SUB2#
Dickweed looking for the choke but no joy.
Amaury is keeping busy.
Amaury is defending well here and trying to improve his position. #SUB2#
Dickweed is working for the choke. He's slipped one arm under the chin. Amaury has to defend the other arm for all he's worth... but Dickweed has managed to get that arm free too and he's tightening the choke! Amaury taps out and looks absolutely disgusted with himself. Dickweed doesn't care though - he's delighted!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 7:55 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (RNC). Professor Dickweed!
During a confident post fight interview, Professor Dickweed thanked all his fans. He seemed very genuine when describing how motivated his fans keep him.

 

Event: CACC 93 CORONA 1ST RD     
Date:   May 23, 2020

Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 1924 p4p, 249 weight class) and Joe Average (ranked 2079 p4p, 277 weight class). Buckle up people - heeeeeeeeeere we go!




175 cm
35 yrs
225 lbs



183 cm
29 yrs
208 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 15 wins and 11 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 10 wins and 2 losses; Joe Average!
The judges for this bout are Stewart Dunkirk, Gwen Towbar and Tiny Johnson.


The fighters connect hands in the middle of the mat and we are under way.

Dickweed tries to sprawl but Average drives through with a takedown into half guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (0) vs (2) Average

Average is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.
Dickweed is refusing to be controlled, as Average sits in half guard.
We've been hearing good reports from Dickweed's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.
Average seems content to maintain position for now, rather than mounting any offense.
The fighters are battling for position here. Dickweed manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
Average stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Dickweed swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Dickweed being controlled here, momentarily.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed controlling the position.
Dickweed keeping full guard, as Average tries to pass.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Average trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed is avoiding any damage by keeping wrist control.
Average stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.
My spies in Blood^and^Guts inform me that Average has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Average looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (2) Average
Average is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.
Average working a defensive guard here.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Average has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.

Average working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Dickweed doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Dickweed manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Average keeps moving.
Average controls Dickweed momentarily but Dickweed frees himself.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Average wants to control but instead he gets his guard passed and Dickweed is now in half guard.
Average is looking to improve his position.
Average gets back to full guard.
Average controlling Dickweed's posture.
Average wants to sweep here but Dickweed controlling him for the moment.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Average is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Average working a defensive guard here.
Average wants to sweep here but Dickweed controlling him for the moment.
Average pulls Dickweed in close to prevent any damage.

Average is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard. He's being very persistent here but Average manages to land a sweep and now he's on top!
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (4) Average
Dickweed trying to control the position.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Average not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.
Average being controlled here momentarily.
Dickweed is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Dickweed tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Average trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.

Dickweed working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Average doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Average manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Average wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Average passes easily into side control. Nice work.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (2) vs (7) Average
Dickweed is looking to reverse the position.

Average thinks about going for a far side armbar but bails out and retains the dominant position instead.
Average wants to lay and pray for a moment but Dickweed keeps working.
Dickweed is trying to get back to half guard. He's pushing on Average's leg. He's managed it. Nice work.
Average is looking to advance position but Dickweed won't allow it.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.

Average is trying for a guillotine from the top but the pressure isn't in the right place so Dickweed is just riding it out for now. Average eventually gives up the hold.
Dickweed trying to control from the bottom.
Average wants to control but Dickweed is keeping him busy.

Dickweed looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep. Average is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Dickweed trying to control here.
Average seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Dickweed does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
Average passes the guard and advances to mount!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (2) vs (10) Average

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Average trying to control but Dickweed is having none of it.
Average is in a good position here but he's just trying to control... And he's not even managing to do that successfully.
Average prevents Dickweed from getting the reversal.
Average is looking to work his way around to Dickweed's back. He needs to be careful though, as he's in danger of losing this dominant position.
Dickweed controls the position.
Average fails to move to back control.
Average prevents Dickweed from getting the reversal.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Average can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Dickweed is looking to escape.
Dickweed working to try and regain half guard.
Dickweed tries to hold on but Average pushes him away.
Average wants to take Dickweed's back but he can't do it this time.
Dickweed is working to get back to half guard.
Average tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is trying to escape the mount.
Average trying to control but Dickweed is having none of it.
Dickweed slips a leg in and gets back to half guard.
Dickweed tries to roll over but Average keeps him under control.
Average trying to control from half guard but Dickweed is working away.
The fighters are battling for position here. Dickweed manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
Dickweed can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Average controls the pace.

Dickweed looking for submissions from the bottom but instead Average passes into half guard.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Average is trying to control the action in half guard but Dickweed is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Average trying to control from Dickweed's half guard. Dickweed has other ideas though and has regained full guard.

Dickweed is looking for a triangle but Average pushes his legs off easily.
Dickweed is trying to keep Average in close.

Dickweed working for a triangle but Average defends it easily.
Average passes into half guard.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.
Average performing his best blanket impression for a moment.
Average seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Dickweed does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
Dickweed trying to control from the bottom.
Average wants to free his trapped foot but Dickweed is holding on for dear life with his legs.
Dickweed is staying active underneath Average, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Average wants to pass the guard but Dickweed is defending well.
Dickweed has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Average is working away from the top position though.
Dickweed is refusing to be controlled, as Average sits in half guard.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is looking to get full guard. It looks like he might be successful but at the last minute Average jumps into side control!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (2) vs (13) Average
Dickweed is trying to get back to half guard. He's pushing on Average's leg. He's managed it. Nice work.
Average prevents Dickweed from improving his position.
Dickweed manages to get to full guard.
Dickweed keeping full guard, as Average tries to pass.
Dickweed looking for a sweep. Not yet Dickweed, not yet.
Average wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed looking to hit a scissor sweep but Average is one step ahead there.
Average trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Dickweed trying to control the position.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Average from controlling successfully.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Average engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.

And that's the end of the fight!
Average wins on points by 13 to 2.
A pretty intense looking Joe Average took the opportunity post-fight to ask for a shot at the title.

 

Event: CACC 87     
Date:   May 10, 2020

Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 1908 p4p, 261 weight class) and David Williams (ranked 2156 p4p, 292 weight class). This should be a great matchup!




175 cm
35 yrs
225 lbs



198 cm
26 yrs
214 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 14 wins and 11 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of London, with a TWGC record of 1 wins and 3 losses; David Williams!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Percy O'Donnell and Don Winkell.


The fighters bow as they face eachother in the middle of the mat and we are under way.
Dickweed stuffs the takedown attempt from Williams. Williams gets slowly back to his feet.
Williams shoots for a takedown but Dickweed saw that one coming a mile off and avoided it easily.

Williams looking to score a takedown here. Dickweed is defending well but Williams drives through and ends up in Dickweed's guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (0) vs (2) Williams
Williams forces his way into half guard.
Dickweed gets full guard.

Dickweed is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Williams is aware though and is defending well.

Williams is trying to work a guillotine from the top, or something like that? Don't know how he thinks he's going to get a finish from there.
We've been hearing good reports from Dickweed's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.
Dickweed is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.

Williams drops back for a leg! It's a sloppy attempt though and Williams jumps back into guard quickly, to retain the dominant position.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Williams stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Dickweed swivels though and keeps the full guard.

Williams avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Dickweed is pulling down on Williams's head to control his posture.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Dickweed is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Williams defends well.

Williams thinks about going for a leg but decides against it, in order to maintain the position.
Williams being controlled here momentarily.
Williams stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Dickweed swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Dickweed lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (2) Williams
Williams being controlled here, momentarily.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Williams looking for subs off his back but Dickweed has passed one foot through into half guard.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.

Dickweed seems to be looking for submissions.

The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Williams looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Dickweed content to sit in half guard and control for a moment.

Dickweed moves into side control, avoiding a weak kimura attempt from Williams.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (5) vs (2) Williams
Dickweed is maintaining the dominant position - no doubt Williams will start to get frustrated soon if he's not already.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Williams is looking for a sweep.
Dickweed is looking to take a break and control but Williams is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Dickweed content to control the pace. The referee will try and keep them active though.
Dickweed trying to control the position but Williams is working away.
Williams tries to work a leg under to get back to half guard but Dickweed wriggles his own leg back out and remains in side control.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Williams is still trying to improve position.
Williams is sneaking out the side here. He's bucked Dickweed off and has taken his back!
Score +4 for clean sweep to past guard: Dickweed (5) vs (6) Williams
Williams gets his hands free as Dickweed looks to control.

Williams is persistently looking for the submission but Dickweed is defending it well.
Williams is hanging on to Dickweed's back as he tries to escape.
Dickweed is working hard here to advance position.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.

Williams working for the choke.
Williams gets his hands free as Dickweed looks to control.
Dickweed tries to escape the position.

That's five minutes gone in the round.

Williams is persistently looking for the submission but Dickweed is defending it well.
Dickweed rolls and manages to get back to half guard. Nicely done.
Dickweed might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.

Dickweed looking for submissions from an awkward position here.

Williams is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Dickweed sees it coming and defends easily.
Dickweed is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.

Williams is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.
Dickweed makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Dickweed.
Williams is looking to pass into half guard but Dickweed pushes him away with his feet and jumps on top - now Dickweed is in guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (7) vs (6) Williams

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.

Williams had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Dickweed defends it easily.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Williams keeps moving.

Williams is looking for a triangle here but Dickweed uses the submission attempt to pass into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (10) vs (6) Williams
Williams is not content to let Dickweed control the position.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Williams is looking to reverse the position.

Williams wants to improve his position, back to half guard but Dickweed has ideas of his own. He's got hold of Williams's far side arm and it looks like he's got an Americana. Ohh! Ohhhh! OOOOOOOOOH! A human being's arm is not meant to bend like that! Williams is tapping like a morse code operator on the Titanic! SOS SOS! He's out of here! Great win for Dickweed!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 7:38 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Americana). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: CACC 79     
Date:   Apr 19, 2020

Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 1823 p4p, 245 weight class) and Johan Farfy Iii (ranked 12727 p4p, 677 weight class). I don't know about you partner, but I'm pumped for this one!




175 cm
35 yrs
225 lbs



187 cm
46 yrs
210 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 13 wins and 11 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of New York, with a TWGC record of 2 wins and 9 losses; Johan Farfy Iii!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Jack Bonds and Timothy Bukovac.


The fighters bow as they face eachother in the middle of the mat and we are under way.
Farfy Iii misses with a takedown attempt

and Dickweed counters by moving into the clinch.
Dickweed is pressed up against the ropes. Farfy Iii has hold of a leg and is looking to drag Dickweed down to the mat. Dickweed avoids the attempt though and has circled away. We're back to striking at a distance.
A really sloppy takedown attempt there from Farfy Iii.
Dickweed has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Professor Dickweed has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Johan Farfy Iii.
Farfy Iii shoots in for a takedown but Dickweed shows good takedown defense.
Farfy Iii misses with a takedown attempt

and Dickweed counters with a single leg into guard. Farfy Iii didn't expect that.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (0) Farfy Iii

Farfy Iii looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
Dickweed not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.
Dickweed slips nicely into half guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Dickweed is trying a forearm choke… I don't think that's going to do much at this level of the game.
Dickweed slows the pace down in half guard.
Farfy Iii has a hand on Dickweed's thigh, trying to get back to full guard. Dickweed takes advantage of the position though and mounts him!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (5) vs (0) Farfy Iii

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed looking to control and managing it successfully.
Farfy Iii is working to get back to half guard.
Farfy Iii keeps trying to improve his position.
Dickweed takes a little breather and maintains the position. The referee will be looking for him to stay active from such a dominant position though.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
Dickweed seems to have a rather negative gameplan on the ground. He seems keen to just score the takedown and hold down Farfy Iii for as long as he can get away with.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Farfy Iii is looking to get to half guard.
Dickweed controlling the pace for now.
Dickweed manages to capitalize on a mistake by Farfy Iii to take his back!
Score +3 for taking back: Dickweed (8) vs (0) Farfy Iii
Dickweed is hanging on to Farfy Iii's back as he tries to escape.
What can Farfy Iii do to escape this position? He's going to have to figure it out pretty quick if he wants to stay in the fight!

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Dickweed looking for the choke from the back.
Dickweed has good solid back control here.

Dickweed looking for the choke from the back.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Farfy Iii wants to escape the position.
Dickweed controls the action.
Farfy Iii tries to roll but Dickweed sticks to his back.
Dickweed has the hooks sunk in and you can see the will to fight slowly draining out of Farfy Iii's body.
Farfy Iii rolls, trying to escape but Dickweed keeps control of the position.
Dickweed slows the pace down here. Having a little breather whilst he's in a dominant position, looking to rest and regain some energy, ready to go for the finish.

Dickweed is working for the rear naked choke. He has one arm under the chin but Farfy Iii has hold of the other arm. A bit of a stalemate here.
Farfy Iii tries to break free.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed slows the pace down here. Having a little breather whilst he's in a dominant position, looking to rest and regain some energy, ready to go for the finish.
Farfy Iii wants to escape the position.
Dickweed biding his time, controlling Farfy Iii.
Farfy Iii can't escape the position.

Farfy Iii has hold of Dickweed's leg, trying to break free but it's let Dickweed lock up a rear naked choke! This could be big trouble! Farfy Iii is turning an unusual color here… he's out! Dickweed throws him to one side and jumps onto the ropes to celebrate with his fans.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 6:59 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (RNC). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: CACC 72     
Date:   Mar 29, 2020

Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Tyrano Jackson (ranked 19700 p4p, 553 weight class) and Professor Dickweed (ranked 1824 p4p, 228 weight class). Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!




190 cm
30 yrs
221 lbs



175 cm
35 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of New York, with a TWGC record of 8 wins and 4 losses; Tyrano Jackson! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 12 wins and 11 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Percy O'Donnell and Timothy Bukovac.


The fighters connect hands in the middle of the mat and we are under way.
Jackson fails with the takedown

and Dickweed decides to take the opportunity to score a takedown. He's landed in Jackson's guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Jackson (0) vs (2) Dickweed
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Jackson is keeping the position.
Jackson seems to have improved his submission grappling technique since last time we saw him. Let's see if he can pull off a submission.
Dickweed slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Jackson is retaining full guard.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.
Dickweed preventing the sweep.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.
Score +3 for passing guard: Jackson (0) vs (5) Dickweed
Jackson tries to improve position but can't.
Jackson wants to control but Dickweed postures up.
Jackson gets one leg under and gets the fight to half guard.
Dickweed is trying to control the action in half guard but Jackson is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Dickweed sitting and controlling from the half guard.
Jackson wants to improve his position but Dickweed is controlling well.
Jackson gets back to full guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Jackson keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass.
Jackson looking for a sweep. Not yet Jackson, not yet.
Dickweed looking to sit in guard and control but Jackson gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Jackson (2) vs (5) Dickweed
Dickweed is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Jackson stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.
Jackson will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Jackson pushing down on Dickweed's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.
Dickweed is holding on to half guard well.
Jackson trying to control from half guard but Dickweed is working away.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Jackson controlling the action here.
Dickweed is trying to get back to full guard.
Jackson is looking to take a break and control but Dickweed is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Dickweed is holding on to half guard well.
Jackson is figuring out what he wants to do next.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Dickweed controls Jackson momentarily but Jackson frees himself.
Jackson seems content to control from guard here. He's going to have to remain active though if he doesn't want to get stood back up.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.

Dickweed is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
Jackson wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Dickweed is pulling down on Jackson's head. It's preventing any offense from Jackson, at least for the moment.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Dickweed is on top in guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Jackson (2) vs (7) Dickweed

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Jackson tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Jackson keeping moving, preventing Dickweed from controlling successfully.
Dickweed is in a good position here but he's just trying to control... And he's not even managing to do that successfully.
Jackson not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Dickweed passes into half guard.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Jackson is trying to get back to full guard.
Jackson won't allow Dickweed to pass to mount.
Jackson moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.
Jackson manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Dickweed manages to get himself to full guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Jackson (4) vs (7) Dickweed
Dickweed pulls Jackson in close to prevent any damage.

Dickweed is working actively from the bottom, looking for submissions. He's escaped his hips to the side and he's going for an armbar! Jackson has his hands clasped together but Dickweed extends and breaks Jackson's desperate grasp, forcing a tap out due to armbar! Nice BJJ displayed there by Dickweed.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 7:56 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Armbar). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: CACC 64     
Date:   Mar 07, 2020

Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 1772 p4p, 221 weight class) and Joe Average (ranked 1912 p4p, 230 weight class). There are an array of beautiful celebrities at ringside tonight! I wonder if any of them paid for their tickets.




175 cm
35 yrs
225 lbs



183 cm
28 yrs
208 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 12 wins and 10 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of New York, with a TWGC record of 6 wins and 2 losses; Joe Average!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, Jack Bonds and Timothy Bukovac.


Let's get this grappling contest under way! Who will be victorious?

Average shoots in for a takedown! He's got it and he's managed to land in side control! That's better than Average was expecting from the takedown attempt, I'm sure!
Score +4 for clean takedown past guard: Dickweed (0) vs (4) Average
Average just content to control the position.
Average working away.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep.
Dickweed's coaches at Hey Steves Fight Shack have been working on his defensive grappling in preparation for this fight so let's see if he can get out of this tricky position.
Average controls the position.
Dickweed is looking to regain half guard here but Average keeps moving and retains side control.
Dickweed manages to get back to half guard.

Average is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Dickweed has managed to free his arm - good work.
Dickweed wants to control but Average is keeping busy and won't allow it.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Average seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Dickweed does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
Dickweed controlling the position well.
Average tries to pass the half guard into mount. Dickweed knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Average has freed up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (0) vs (7) Average
Average trying to control but he's not successful this time.
Average pushing the pace here, looking to move to his opponents back and work for a finish.
Dickweed really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Average fails to move to back control.
Dickweed working to try and regain half guard.
Dickweed sneaks a leg under to get to half guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to improve his position but Average is controlling well.
Average wants to lay and pray for a moment but Dickweed keeps working.
Dickweed tries to roll over but Average keeps him under control.
Average uses his free foot to push down on Dickweed's thigh. Eventually he works his other foot free and he's advanced to mount - this is trouble for Dickweed.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (0) vs (10) Average

Dickweed defends a decent attempt at a guillotine from Average.
Dickweed is squirming around, avoiding Average's attempts to control the action.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Average might have to switch it up a bit here because his efforts to control Dickweed haven't been going to plan, at least at the current moment in time.
Average takes a little breather and maintains the position. The referee will be looking for him to stay active from such a dominant position though.
Dickweed really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Dickweed is controlling an arm, preventing Average from taking his back. Although keeping him in mount is no better to be honest.
Dickweed tries to get back to half guard but can't.

Average wants to finish this one by submission but Dickweed is holding onto his waist, trying to prevent any attacks from Average.
Average tries to control but Dickweed wriggling away.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Average prevents Dickweed from getting the reversal.
Average avoids the attempt from Dickweed to control.
Dickweed is trying to escape the mount but Average keeps good control and instead manages to take Dickweed's back.
Score +3 for taking back: Dickweed (0) vs (13) Average
I would not like to be Dickweed right now.
Dickweed looks to control his opponent's hands but he's not mananging it at the moment.
Average trying to control.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to break free.
Dickweed just looking to survive in the bad position.
Our spies down at at ^Blood&Guts^ inform us that Average has really been working on his submissions in the buildup to this fight. Will it pay off?
Average is not going to allow Dickweed to sit and survive in this position.
Dickweed can't escape the position.
Will Average go for the finish here or will he try and keep control of the position?
Dickweed tries to escape the position.
Average tries to get the hooks in deep but Dickweed pushed the leg off.

Average seems to be going for a rear naked choke. He has an arm under Dickweed's chin but Dickweed turns very nicely into Average's guard. Good BJJ skills being displayed there by Dickweed.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (13) Average
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Average is retaining full guard.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Average tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Dickweed forces his way into half guard.
Dickweed wants to control but Average is keeping him busy.
Average is looking to improve his position.
Dickweed looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.
Average tries to roll over but Dickweed keeps him under control.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Average manages to get to full guard.
Dickweed advances to half guard.
Dickweed is looking to stall here but Average recovers full guard.
Average is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Average is in a good position here but he's just trying to control... And he's not even managing to do that successfully.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Average is looking to sweep but instead, Dickweed has passed into half guard.
Dickweed wants to control but Average is keeping him busy.
Neither fighter is being very active at the moment, with Dickweed in particular looking to stall.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.
Average wants to control but Dickweed is keeping busy.
Average is trying to get back to full guard.
Dickweed looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.
Dickweed performing his best blanket impression for a moment.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Average is trying to control but can't.
Average is trying to avoid being dragged into an even worse position than he's already in but Dickweed is staying active.
Dickweed seems content to maintain position for now, rather than mounting any offense.
Dickweed trying to control from half guard but Average is working away.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to advance to full mount but Average doesn't think that's going to happen and regains full guard instead.

Average working for a triangle but Dickweed defends it easily.
Average wants to sweep but no luck.
Average keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass.
Average has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.

Average is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Dickweed is aware though and is defending well.
Dickweed is pushing down on Average's leg trying to pass to half guard. Average is fighting to maintain full guard but Dickweed has managed to sneak the leg through.
Average is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Dickweed's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Dickweed's back!
Score +4 for clean sweep to past guard: Dickweed (2) vs (17) Average
Average is hanging on to Dickweed's back as he tries to escape.
Average really has the hooks in deep now - there seems like no escape for Dickweed.
Dickweed turns into Average and is now in his guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (4) vs (17) Average
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Average is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.

Dickweed got a little sloppy there for a moment and Average has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Dickweed has managed to get both his arms back between Average's legs - danger averted.

Average throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Dickweed controls the pace of the fight for a moment.
Dickweed seems to have a rather negative gameplan on the ground. He seems keen to just score the takedown and hold down Average for as long as he can get away with.
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Average is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Average is keeping the position.
Dickweed content to stall in guard here.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Average keeps moving.
Dickweed postures up.
Average is avoiding any damage by keeping wrist control.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Average is retaining full guard.
Dickweed trying to control but Average is working from the bottom.
Average is trying to keep Dickweed in close.
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Average is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Average holds on and takes a little breather.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed slips nicely into half guard.

And that's the end of the fight!
Average wins on points by 17 to 4.
After the big win, Joe Average made sure to do all the important stuff like thanking his sponsors Ma Balls Is Hot Clothing and telling the interviewer how much he loves him.

 

Event: CACC 56     
Date:   Feb 16, 2020

Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 1790 p4p, 223 weight class) and Lakoj Dresden (ranked 1800 p4p, 225 weight class). Both fighters look fresh as a daisy as they make their way towards the ring.




175 cm
34 yrs
225 lbs



180 cm
33 yrs
224 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 11 wins and 10 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Amsterdam, with a TWGC record of 4 wins and 3 losses; Lakoj Dresden!
The judges for this bout are Timothy Bukovac, Percy O'Donnell and Jack Bonds.


Let's get this grappling contest under way! Who will be victorious?

Dresden moves into the clinch.
Dickweed goes for a takedown in the clinch but Dresden prevents it.
Dickweed is working for takedown but Dresden is calmly controlling the position for now.
Dickweed gets underhooks to prevent Dresden's takedown attempt.
Dickweed has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.

Dresden gets a nice trip takedown into half guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (0) vs (2) Dresden
Dickweed is refusing to be controlled, as Dresden sits in half guard.
Dresden controlling the pace.
Dresden trying to control the action but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Dickweed moves into full guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed keeping full guard, as Dresden tries to pass.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dresden is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.
Dickweed pulls Dresden in close to his closed guard and prevents Dresden from doing any damage or advancing position.
Dresden stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.

Dickweed looking for a guillotine here but Dresden defends easily.
Dresden is frustrating his opponent with some stalling tactics from top position.
Dresden is continuing to stall.
Dickweed is controlling Dresden's posture.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dresden trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.

Dickweed working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Dresden doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Dresden manages to throw the legs off his shoulder and he's back into guard - no problem.
Dickweed lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (2) Dresden
Dickweed trying to control but Dresden is working from the bottom.
Dickweed sitting in guard, not really doing much.
Dresden controlling Dickweed's posture.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to control but Dresden is working from the bottom.
Dresden looking to control but Dickweed passes into half guard.
Dickweed slows the pace down in half guard.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to take a breather but Dresden is having none of it.
Dickweed with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.
Dickweed wants to pass to mount but Dresden is defending the position.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to take a breather but Dresden is having none of it.
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
Dickweed wants to pass to mount but Dresden is defending the position.
Dresden is staying active underneath Dickweed, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
Dresden is trying to maintain the position but Dickweed is very close to passing his half guard.
Dickweed controlling the pace.
Dresden trying to control here.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Dresden is looking to get back to full guard here but Dickweed has managed to pass to side control instead.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (5) vs (2) Dresden
Dresden regains half guard.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Dresden is defending well.
Dickweed is looking to take a break and control but Dresden is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed perhaps working for something from half guard, or maybe not. It looks like he's just sitting there.
Dickweed prevents Dresden from improving his position.
Dickweed looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.
Well, if Dickweed is going to just lie there, perhaps we should talk about what we're having for dinner tonight… I'm having a ham and pineapple pizza… Yum. Can't wait.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
Dickweed trying to control the action but Dresden is working from the bottom.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to pass the half guard into mount. Dresden knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
Dickweed passes to full mount!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (8) vs (2) Dresden
Dickweed pushing the pace here, looking to move to his opponents back and work for a finish.
Dickweed controlling from the full mount.
Dresden is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to take Dresden's back but he can't do it this time.
Dickweed controlling his opponent.
Dickweed is trying to control here but Dresden has managed to regain half guard.
Dresden is looking for a sweep. Dickweed is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.

Dickweed is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Dresden has managed to free his arm - good work.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to control from Dresden's half guard. Dresden has other ideas though and has regained full guard.
Dresden looking to control the pace of the fight rather than finish it.
Dresden is trying to control the position but Dickweed postures up.
Dresden keeping moving, preventing Dickweed from controlling successfully.
Dickweed sitting in guard, not really doing much.
Dickweed has controlled the position for a good 20 seconds, which will no doubt be starting to frustrate his opponent.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Dresden swivels though and keeps the full guard.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Dresden keeps moving.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard.
Dresden looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Dresden trying to keep a closed guard but Dickweed is proving a slippery customer.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Dresden is keeping the position.
Dresden trying to keep a closed guard but Dickweed is proving a slippery customer.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Dresden is retaining full guard.
Dresden is trying to control the position but Dickweed postures up.
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Dresden is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Dresden is on top in guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (8) vs (4) Dresden

Dickweed working for a triangle but Dresden defends it easily.
Dickweed is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Dresden is stalling in the full guard.

Dresden avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Dresden from controlling successfully.
Dickweed keeping full guard, as Dresden tries to pass.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed trying to control the position.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dickweed takes the fight on points by 8 to 4.

 

Event: Quick Fight Championship     
Date:   Jan 06, 2020
#R1#
Smith throws out a powerful jab.
Smith throws a left and a right that both miss #TD#
and Dickweed counters with a shoot takedown. Smith fights it but they end up in guard.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Smith is keeping the position.
Smith being controlled here, momentarily.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Smith is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move. #REVB##T1#
Dickweed regains full guard. Nicely done.
Dickweed is controlling Smith's posture.
Dickweed bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Smith's guard. #REVR#
Smith being controlled here, momentarily.
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Smith swivels though and keeps the full guard. #T2#
Dickweed slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
Dickweed trying to move into half guard but instead Smith has managed to sweep!#REVB#
Smith throwing strikes from guard but Dickweed blocks nicely.
Dickweed is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move. #REVR#
Dickweed is controlling the pace. #T3#
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Smith is defending well.
Smith is trying is best to control the position here.
Neither fighter is being very active at the moment, with Dickweed in particular looking to stall.
Dickweed's ground tactics aren't going to win him many fans. Let's hope he's got fireworks for us if he gets back to his feet because he's not doing much on the ground.#T4#
There's not a lot going on here and the crowd are letting the fighters know they're not willing to tolerate a lack of action.
Dickweed passes the guard and advances to mount!
Smith is controlling an arm, preventing Dickweed from taking his back. Although keeping him in mount is no better to be honest.
Smith is looking to improve his position but Dickweed isn't that keen on the idea.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Professor Dickweed dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!
#R2##TD#
Dickweed scores a trip takedown into side control. Nice.
Dickweed wants to lay and pray for a moment but Smith keeps working.
Dickweed controlling the position.
Smith is trying to improve his position.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed happy to just control the position for now.
Dickweed seems to have a rather negative gameplan on the ground. He seems keen to just score the takedown and hold down Smith for as long as he can get away with.#T1#
Dickweed has controlled the position for a good 20 seconds, which will no doubt be starting to frustrate his opponent.
Dickweed wants to control for a moment but Smith uses the opportunity to move back to half guard.
Well, if Dickweed is going to just lie there, perhaps we should talk about what we're having for dinner tonight… I'm having a ham and pineapple pizza… Yum. Can't wait.
Smith gets full guard.
Dickweed's corner is telling him to maintain position.
Smith wants to sweep but no luck. #T2#
A lull in the action here being met with boos from the crowd.
Dickweed stays in close to Smith's body and controls the position.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Smith is keeping the position.
Dickweed controlling from the top position. #REF3#
The ref stands the fighters back up due to a lack of activity.
Smith misses with a head kick. #TD#
Dickweed closes the distance and gets a trip takedown into side control. Smith quickly recovers to half guard.
Dickweed is figuring out what he wants to do next.
Smith trying to control from the bottom.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed tries to pass to full mount but Smith defends it. #T3#
Dickweed with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Smith tries to roll over but Dickweed keeps him under control.
The referee must be thinking about standing these guys back up.
Dickweed content to sit in half guard and control for a moment. #REF3#
The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Smith throws a sloppy head kick #TD#
and Dickweed counters with a single leg into guard. Smith didn't expect that.
Smith keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass.
Dickweed controls the pace of the fight for a moment.#T4#
Smith has Dickweed pulled in close to control his posture.
Dickweed advances to half guard.
Dickweed uses his free foot to push down on Smith's thigh. Eventually he works his other foot free and he's advanced to mount - this is trouble for Smith.
Smith is desperately trying to get back to half guard.
Dickweed moves to the back position.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed controls the position.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Professor Dickweed dominated that second round.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!
#R3#
Smith throws a predictable looking body shot #TD#
and Dickweed counters with a nice shoot takedown that brings the fighters to the ground.
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Smith is retaining full guard.
Dickweed slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.
We've been hearing good reports from Dickweed's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Smith looking for a sweep. Not yet Smith, not yet. #T1#
Dickweed is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
Dickweed is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Smith can do to turn this around?#REF3#
The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.
Dickweed moves forwards but Smith connects with a nice, crisp jab.
Smith thows a leg kick but Dickweed checks it #CL#
and Dickweed counters by moving into the clinch. Good anticipation by Dickweed. #T2#
Smith throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
Dickweed is looking for a takedown up against the cage. Smith gets underhooks though and prevents the takedown attempt.
Some stalling of biblical proportions here from Dickweed.
Smith is struggling to control the position.#BC2#
Smith breaks the clinch and we're back to striking at distance.
Dickweed fails miserably with a takedown attempt.
Nice jab there from Smith.
Smith connects with the punch.#T3##CL2#
Smith takes the fight into the clinch.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Smith.
Dickweed is stalling here. The referee will be looking to step in if he doesn't pick up the pace.
Dickweed is trying to work for a single leg takedown but Smith pulls him back up using the underhooks.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Professor Dickweed. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Smith is trying to break free.
Dickweed slowing the pace effectively.
Smith wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
Smith is trying to break free.
Dickweed taking a break, stalling in the clinch.
Mike Smith has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!#T4##BC2#
Smith pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Mike Smith seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Smith tries a head kick but it misses.
Mike Smith is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.
Smith lands with a right hand.
Smith tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Dickweed manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Smith lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Dickweed gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Smith.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Smith.
Dickweed tries to move into range but Smith moves to the side and lands with a nice right hand.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Smith throws a head kick that misses.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Smith tries to score with an inside leg kick but telegraphs it and Dickweed is able to avoid easily.

And that's the end of the fight!
Mike Smith comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
I think Dickweed has won this one but let's see what the judges have to say. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Alec Ball scores the fight 29:28
Judge Yves DeLean scores the fight 29:28
Judge Robert Douchet scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: CACC 31     
Date:   Dec 15, 2019

Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Douche Canoe (ranked 2170 p4p, 292 weight class) and Professor Dickweed (ranked 2465 p4p, 328 weight class). Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!




197 cm
33 yrs
215 lbs



175 cm
34 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Las Vegas, with a TWGC record of 3 wins and 1 losses; Douche Canoe! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 10 wins and 10 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are Jack Bonds, Percy O'Donnell and Timothy Bukovac.


Let's get this grappling contest under way! Who will be victorious?

Canoe gets in close and instigates a clinch.
Canoe looking for a takedown.
Canoe is looking to take this one to the mat.
Dickweed wants to take the fight to the mat but Canoe manages to get underhooks and keep the fight in the clinch.
Canoe fails to pull the fight into his guard.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Douche Canoe. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Dickweed gets double underhooks to prevent a takedown attempt from Canoe.

Canoe gets control of Dickweed's arms and successfully pulls guard. Canoe will no doubt be looking for submissions off his back.
Canoe trying to control the position.
We've been hearing good reports from Canoe's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.
Dickweed controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Canoe holds on and takes a little breather.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
Canoe has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Canoe is keeping the position.
Canoe being controlled here, momentarily.
Dickweed postures up.
My spies in Hey Steves Fight Shack inform me that Dickweed has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Canoe is on top in guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Canoe (2) vs (0) Dickweed
Canoe has to be careful here, sitting in the guard of a superior BJJ player.
Dickweed is trying to keep Canoe in close.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Canoe from controlling successfully.
Canoe looking to pass the guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Canoe trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Dickweed wants to sweep but no luck.
Canoe wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Dickweed is trying to control the position but Canoe postures up.
Canoe wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Dickweed is trying to control the position from the bottom.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Canoe manages to get himself to full guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Canoe (2) vs (2) Dickweed
Dickweed advances to half guard.
Dickweed trying to control the pace.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
Canoe gets back to full guard.
Dickweed pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Canoe is keeping the position for now.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Canoe keeps moving.
Canoe will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Canoe can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Dickweed controls the pace.
Dickweed sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Canoe's guard.
Dickweed is trying to control. Canoe wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
Canoe won't allow Dickweed to pass to mount.
Canoe is holding on to half guard well.
Dickweed is figuring out what he wants to do next.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to take a breather but Canoe is having none of it.
Canoe tries to get to full guard but Dickweed has control of the leg.
Dickweed content to sit in half guard and control for a moment.
Canoe wants to control but Dickweed is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Dickweed wants to take a breather but Canoe is having none of it.
Canoe trying to control but Dickweed postures up.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Canoe is going to have to think about doing something other than just controlling because Dickweed is managing to avoid having the position dictated to him.
Dickweed is taking a breather. Canoe says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something.
Dickweed tries to pass to full mount but Canoe defends it.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Canoe trying to control but Dickweed postures up.
Dickweed controlling the action here.
Dickweed tries to pass the half guard into mount. Canoe knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
The fighters are battling for position here. Canoe manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Canoe is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.
Canoe not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Dickweed slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
Dickweed pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Canoe is keeping the position for now.
Canoe is controlling Dickweed's posture.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Canoe looking to control the pace of the fight rather than finish it.
Dickweed sitting in guard, not really doing much.
Canoe is trying to control the position but Dickweed postures up.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Canoe keeps moving.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.

Canoe is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Canoe keeps moving.
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Canoe is retaining full guard.
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Canoe is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Dickweed won't allow Canoe to sweep him here.
Canoe keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Canoe keeps moving.
Dickweed stands and throws Canoe's legs to the side, diving into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Canoe (2) vs (5) Dickweed
Canoe is positioning himself to get back to half guard.
Dickweed trying to control the position but Canoe is working away.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Canoe wants to control but Dickweed postures up.
Dickweed tries to advance to mount but can't.
Canoe is not content to let Dickweed control the position.
Canoe tries to improve position but can't.
Dickweed controlling the position.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Canoe tries to bench press Dickweed off him but Dickweed keeps the position.
Dickweed just content to control the position.
Dickweed has knee on belly and now moves to full mount! Trouble for Canoe!
Score +2 for reaching mount: Canoe (2) vs (7) Dickweed
Canoe is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.
Canoe prevents Dickweed from taking his back.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Canoe wants to control but Dickweed is having none of it.
Canoe keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dickweed wins on points by 7 to 2.

 

Event: CACC 24     
Date:   Nov 30, 2019

Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 2402 p4p, 316 weight class) and Dido Vicini (ranked 1973 p4p, 263 weight class). Vicini is bouncing up and down as he enters the arena, backed by Mother. Both fighter's entrance songs getting the crowd jumping here.




175 cm
33 yrs
225 lbs



180 cm
37 yrs
220 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 10 wins and 9 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of New York, with a TWGC record of 22 wins and 12 losses; Dido Vicini!
The judges for this bout are Don Winkell, Timothy Bukovac and Percy O'Donnell.


The official calls the fighters to the middle and the contest is under way.

Dickweed gets caught flat footed, as Vicini shoots in with a quick takedown into guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (0) vs (2) Vicini
Dickweed looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
Dickweed has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.
Vicini stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.
Dickweed working a defensive guard but Vicini manages to pass into side control anyway.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (0) vs (5) Vicini
Dickweed tries to bench press Vicini off him but Vicini keeps the position.
Dickweed prevents Vicini from moving into mount.
Dickweed is sneaking out the side here. He's bucked Vicini off and has taken his back!
Score +4 for clean sweep to past guard: Dickweed (4) vs (5) Vicini
Dickweed slows the pace down here. Having a little breather whilst he's in a dominant position, looking to rest and regain some energy, ready to go for the finish.
Vicini felt the need to train up his defensive grappling in the buildup to the fight. Presumably he was expecting to be in a difficult position like this, so let's see if he can get out of it.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Vicini tries to break free.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A bit of a pause in the action here. Dickweed controlling the positon.
Vicini breaks Dickweed's hooks off and manages to turn into his guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (4) vs (7) Vicini

Dickweed is looking for a triangle but Vicini pushes his legs off easily.
Vicini passes into half guard.
Vicini wants to control but Dickweed is keeping him busy.
Dickweed trying to control here.
Dickweed is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed controlling the position well.
Dickweed is pressing down on Vicini's left leg trying to get back to full guard. He's managed it.
Dickweed being controlled here, momentarily.
Vicini stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.
Dickweed has his hands on Vicini's head, controlling the position.
Dickweed is trying to control the position but Vicini postures up.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Vicini looking to pass the guard.
Vicini wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Dickweed is trying to keep Vicini in close.
Vicini slips nicely into half guard.
Dickweed won't allow Vicini to pass to mount.
Vicini is thwarting Dickweed's attempts to control the position.
Vicini wants to control but Dickweed is keeping him busy.
Dickweed trying to control here.
Vicini perhaps working for something from half guard, or maybe not. It looks like he's just sitting there.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Vicini is keen to just control but Dickweed is a slippery customer.
Dickweed slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Vicini trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Vicini might have to switch it up a bit here because his efforts to control Dickweed haven't been going to plan, at least at the current moment in time.
Dickweed controls Vicini momentarily but Vicini frees himself.
Dickweed bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Vicini's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (6) vs (7) Vicini

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Vicini wants to sweep but no luck.
Vicini not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Vicini keeps moving.
We've been hearing that Dickweed has been drilling a lot of ground and pound in training, so let's see if he get the finish.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.
Dickweed content to stall in guard here.
Vicini looking to hit a scissor sweep but Dickweed is one step ahead there.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Vicini is keeping the position.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Vicini wants to sweep but no luck.
Vicini is trying to control the position but Dickweed postures up.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Vicini is on top in guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (6) vs (9) Vicini
Dickweed working a defensive guard but Vicini manages to pass into side control anyway.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (6) vs (12) Vicini
Dickweed is trying to get back to half guard.
Dickweed tries to slip a leg under to move to half guard but Vicini presses down on the leg and jumps into full mount!
Score +2 for reaching mount: Dickweed (6) vs (14) Vicini
Dickweed is squirming around, avoiding Vicini's attempts to control the action.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed holds on to Vicini around his waist, trying desperately to prevent any attacks.
Dickweed is controlling an arm, preventing Vicini from taking his back. Although keeping him in mount is no better to be honest.
Dickweed is squirming around, avoiding Vicini's attempts to control the action.
Dickweed tries to hold on but Vicini postures up.
Dickweed tries to reverse the position but Vicini maintains control.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Vicini fails to take his opponent's back.
Dickweed tries to hold on but Vicini pushes him away.
Dickweed is in all sorts of trouble here.
Vicini tries to control but Dickweed wriggling away.
Dickweed is looking to improve his position but Vicini isn't that keen on the idea.
Dickweed is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.
Vicini pushing the pace here, looking to move to his opponents back and work for a finish.
Vicini can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Dickweed is looking to escape.
Vicini takes a little breather and maintains the position. The referee will be looking for him to stay active from such a dominant position though.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to reverse the position but Vicini maintains control.
Dickweed stops Vicini from taking his back. Still, being mounted isn't any better.
Dickweed is looking to get to half guard.
Vicini manages to capitalize on a mistake by Dickweed to take his back!
Score +3 for taking back: Dickweed (6) vs (17) Vicini

Vicini looking for the RNC.
Dickweed trying to control the action but Vicini just sinks the hooks in.
Dickweed tries to escape the position.
Vicini has the hooks sunk in and you can see the will to fight slowly draining out of Dickweed's body.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to escape but Vicini has the hooks in and won't let him break free.

Vicini working for the choke.
Vicini not allowing Dickweed to control his hands.

Vicini has his hand under the chin of his opponent looking for the choke. He's nearly got it! This one could be all over! But no, Dickweed has freed his hand and lives to survive another… well, another couple of seconds at least!
Vicini is hanging on to Dickweed's back as he tries to escape.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.

Vicini looking for the choke but no joy.

Dickweed is staying cool under pressure, defending well against the rear naked choke attempt from his opponent.
Dickweed is trying to break free.
Vicini trying desperately to keep hold of the dominant position.

Vicini looking for the choke but no joy.
Vicini doesn't have the hooks in and Dickweed manages to turn into his guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (8) vs (17) Vicini

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.
Vicini wants to sweep here but Dickweed controlling him for the moment.
Dickweed is frustrating his opponent with some stalling tactics from top position.
Dickweed slips nicely into half guard.
Dickweed controlling the pace.
Vicini makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Vicini.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.

Vicini throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.
Dickweed preventing the sweep.
Dickweed pushes down on Vicini's leg and manages to get into half guard.
Dickweed is trying to control. Vicini wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
Vicini tries to roll over but Dickweed keeps him under control.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed perhaps working for something from half guard, or maybe not. It looks like he's just sitting there.
Dickweed is trying to control. Vicini wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
Vicini is trying to get back to full guard.
Vicini works his way to full guard. Good work.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Vicini keeps moving.
Dickweed showing good wrestling skills to control the position.

And that's the end of the fight!
Vicini wins on points by 17 to 8.
During a confident post fight interview, Dido Vicini thanked all his fans. He seemed very genuine when describing how motivated his fans keep him.

 

Event: CACC 15     
Date:   Nov 09, 2019

Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 2327 p4p, 298 weight class) and Jabbar Omarov (ranked 2485 p4p, 313 weight class). Both fighter's entrance songs getting the crowd jumping here.




175 cm
33 yrs
225 lbs



184 cm
31 yrs
200 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 9 wins and 9 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Sydney, with a TWGC record of 2 wins and 1 losses; Jabbar Omarov!
The judges for this bout are Timothy Bukovac, Percy O'Donnell and Frank Antenori.


The fighters connect hands in the middle of the mat and we are under way.

Dickweed gets a double leg takedown into Omarov's guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (0) Omarov
We've been hearing that Dickweed has been drilling a lot of ground and pound in training, so let's see if he get the finish.
Dickweed advances to half guard.
Dickweed uses his free foot to push down on Omarov's thigh. Eventually he works his other foot free and he's advanced to mount - this is trouble for Omarov.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (5) vs (0) Omarov
Omarov has found himself in a tricky position here. He's been working his transitions in training so let's see if he can work his way out of it.
Omarov is trying to escape the mount.
Dickweed looking to control but Omarov is working nicely, looking to advance position himself.
Dickweed controlling the position easily from mount.
Dickweed tries to control but Omarov wriggling away.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed prevents Omarov from getting the reversal.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to control the pace but Omarov is squirming around nicely.
Omarov keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.
Dickweed controlling the pace for now.
Dickweed trying to control but Omarov is having none of it.
Omarov is in all sorts of trouble here.
Omarov manages to regain half guard. Good work.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to free his trapped foot but Omarov is holding on for dear life with his legs.
Dickweed keeping composed on the top, looking to control the action.
Dickweed trying to control from half guard but Omarov is working away.

Omarov actively working from the bottom here.

Omarov looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Dickweed slows the pace down in half guard.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.
Dickweed uses his free foot to push down on Omarov's thigh. Eventually he works his other foot free and he's advanced to mount - this is trouble for Omarov.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (8) vs (0) Omarov

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Dickweed looks like he's working for a submission but he's not found anything just yet.
Dickweed trying to control but Omarov is having none of it.
Omarov is looking to get to half guard.
Dickweed fails to take his opponent's back.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Omarov is looking to escape.
Omarov is looking to improve his position but Dickweed isn't that keen on the idea.

Dickweed looks like he's working for a submission but he's not found anything just yet.
Dickweed wants to control the pace but Omarov is squirming around nicely.
Dickweed is looking to work his way around to Omarov's back. He needs to be careful though, as he's in danger of losing this dominant position.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Omarov is trying desperately to improve position.
Dickweed wants to control the pace but Omarov is squirming around nicely.
Omarov keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.
Dickweed tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.
Dickweed trying to control but Omarov is having none of it.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed controlling from the full mount.
Omarov keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.
Dickweed content just to control the position here.
Dickweed trying to control but Omarov is having none of it.
Dickweed tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to control but Omarov is having none of it.
Omarov is wriggling around trying to escape.
Omarov sneaks a leg under to get to half guard.
Dickweed controlling the pace.
Dickweed trying to mount his opponent but Omarov defends it.
Omarov trying to control from the bottom.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.

Omarov looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Dickweed works his way into full mount!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (11) vs (0) Omarov
Dickweed wants to take his opponent's back but Omarov doesn't allow it.
Dickweed trying to control but he's not successful this time.
Omarov tries to reverse the position but Dickweed maintains control.
Dickweed looking to control but Omarov is working nicely, looking to advance position himself.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Omarov slips a leg in and gets back to half guard.
Omarov is refusing to be controlled, as Dickweed sits in half guard.
Dickweed is pressing down on Omarov's thigh, looking to free his foot. Omarov is holding on for now.

Omarov actively working from the bottom here.
Omarov wants to improve his position but Dickweed is controlling well.
Omarov is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Dickweed's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Dickweed's back!
Score +4 for clean sweep to past guard: Dickweed (11) vs (4) Omarov

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed looks to control his opponent's hands but he's not mananging it at the moment.

Omarov tightening his grip on Dickweed, looking for the choke.
You can see the frustration on Dickweed's face… He knows he is in trouble unless he improves his position sooner rather than later.
Dickweed trying to control the hands but Omarov breaks the grip.

Omarov is staying calm and holding on to the back position, whilst working on a rear naked choke. Dickweed is defending well though. Omarov let's go of the attempt for now.

Omarov tightening his grip on Dickweed, looking for the choke.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed can't escape the position.
Omarov doesn't have the hooks in and Dickweed manages to turn into his guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (13) vs (4) Omarov

Omarov is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Dickweed defends well.

Omarov looking for submissions from the bottom but instead Dickweed passes into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (16) vs (4) Omarov
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
Dickweed wants to control but Omarov is keeping him busy.
Omarov struggling a bit here.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.

Dickweed looking for an arm triangle but it's way too loose to do anything.
Dickweed is looking to take a break and control but Omarov is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Omarov stops Dickweed from passing to mount.
Omarov tries to bench press Dickweed off him but Dickweed keeps the position.
Dickweed controls the position.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Omarov gets back to half guard.
Dickweed wants to take a breather but Omarov is having none of it.
Omarov trying to control from the bottom.

Dickweed is trying to work for a kimura but Omarov is defending well.
Dickweed looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.

Omarov looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
Dickweed stalling away here and it's allowed Omarov to slip out his trapped foot and regain full guard.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Omarov keeps moving.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard.
Omarov looking to control.
Dickweed forces his way into half guard.

Omarov actively working from the bottom here.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Omarov is refusing to be controlled, as Dickweed sits in half guard.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dickweed takes the fight on points by 16 to 4.

 

Event: TWGC 26 (265+lbs, D1): Finals - Round 1     
Date:   Oct 26, 2019

Coming up we have a super heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 2272 p4p, 288 weight class) and Ren Naga-Wing (ranked 2770 p4p, 276 weight class). Ren Naga-Wing is staring across the cage at his opponent, tweaking his nipples.




175 cm
33 yrs
225 lbs



185 cm
40 yrs
265 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the super heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 9 wins and 8 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, with a TWGC record of 8 wins and 9 losses; Ren Naga-Wing!
The judges for this bout are Daniel Bishop, Sam Margolis and Richard Clark.


The fighters bow as they face eachother in the middle of the mat and we are under way.

Dickweed gets tackled into the cage by Naga-Wing. Naga-Wing maintains the clinch.

Naga-Wing has dropped down and is working for a takedown. Dickweed is trying to keep an underhook but Naga-Wing manages to get the takedown into half guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (0) vs (2) Naga-Wing
Dickweed trying to hold on to Naga-Wing's head to control him but Naga-Wing postures up.
Naga-Wing wants to free his trapped foot but Dickweed is holding on for dear life with his legs.
We've been hearing good reports from Dickweed's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.

Dickweed looking for submissions off his back.
Dickweed tries to get to full guard but Naga-Wing has control of the leg.
Naga-Wing is keen to just control but Dickweed is a slippery customer.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Naga-Wing is taking a breather. Dickweed says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something.

Naga-Wing is trying to work for a kimura but Dickweed is defending well.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Naga-Wing is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.
Naga-Wing wants to pass to mount but Dickweed is defending the position.
Dickweed is looking to improve his position.
Dickweed won't allow Naga-Wing to pass to mount.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Naga-Wing is trying to control the action in half guard but Dickweed is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Dickweed slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Dickweed seems keen to control Naga-Wing's posture.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Naga-Wing preventing the sweep.
Dickweed working a defensive guard here.
Naga-Wing slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.

Dickweed is looking for a triangle here but Naga-Wing uses the submission attempt to pass into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (0) vs (5) Naga-Wing
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Naga-Wing trying to control the action but Dickweed is working from the bottom.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is positioning himself to get back to half guard.

Naga-Wing has worked his way into a potential kimura here. Dickweed is trying to get out of the position but his squirming has just got him deeper into trouble. Naga-Wing yanks on the arm and Dickweed is forced to tap due to a very painful looking submission! Nice work by Naga-Wing.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:33 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). Ren Naga-Wing!
A relieved looking Ren Naga-Wing thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.

 

Event: TWGC 26 (265+lbs, D1): Montreal Qualifier - Round 2     
Date:   Oct 18, 2019

Coming up we have a super heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 2253 p4p, 281 weight class) and Alejandro Scott (ranked 2669 p4p, 324 weight class). The crowd seem to be enjoying Scott's choice of entrance music: Alejandro - Lady Gaga. Fingers crossed for an exciting fight - I'm sure both fighters are looking for a nice under the table bonus!




175 cm
33 yrs
225 lbs



191 cm
33 yrs
212 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the super heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 8 wins and 8 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Helsinki, with a TWGC record of 7 wins and 3 losses; Alejandro Scott!
The judges for this bout are Steve Smith, Robert Douchet and Trevor Gratis.


The fighters bow as they face eachother in the middle of the mat and we are under way.
Scott darts in looking for a takedown but Dickweed gets double underhooks and turns Scott into the cage.
Scott shoots in for a takedown but Dickweed shows good takedown defense there and keeps this one on the feet.
Dickweed tries to counter by moving into the clinch but Scott manages to circle out of the way.
Dickweed has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.

Dickweed scores with a nice takedown into half guard. Let's see what he's got on the ground.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (0) Scott

Scott looking for submissions off his back.
Scott tries to roll over but Dickweed keeps him under control.

Dickweed is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Scott sees it coming and defends easily.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Scott has guillotine here! It looks pretty tight! Could this be all over! No, Dickweed escapes and passes into side control at the same time. Nice work there by Dickweed!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (5) vs (0) Scott
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed staying calm.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to lay and pray for a moment but Scott keeps working.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Dickweed works to advance to full mount. Scott defends for a few seconds but eventually he succumbs.
Score +2 for reaching mount: Dickweed (7) vs (0) Scott
Scott keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.
Dickweed controlling from the full mount.
Scott is in all sorts of trouble here.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed moves to the back.
Score +3 for taking back: Dickweed (10) vs (0) Scott

Dickweed is staying calm and holding on to the back position, whilst working on a rear naked choke. Scott is defending well though. Dickweed let's go of the attempt for now.
Scott is really stuck here.

Dickweed looking for the choke from the back.
Dickweed is hanging on to Scott's back as he tries to escape.
Dickweed avoiding Scott 's attempts to control his hands.

Dickweed looking for the choke but no joy.
Dickweed trying to secure his dominant position for a moment - making sure Scott doesn't escape.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Will Dickweed go for the finish here or will he try and keep control of the position?
Dickweed is riding his opponent, not letting Scott buck him off.
Dickweed has the hooks in. Scott is trying to push off one leg but he has to do so cautiously to avoid being submitted.
Dickweed trying to control momentarily.
Scott turns into Dickweed and is now in his guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (10) vs (2) Scott
Scott is looking to pass into half guard but Dickweed pushes him away with his feet and jumps on top - now Dickweed is in guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (12) vs (2) Scott

Scott has his foot on Dickweed's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Dickweed works his way back into a safe position though.
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Scott is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

Scott is looking for a triangle here but Dickweed uses the submission attempt to pass into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (15) vs (2) Scott

That's four minutes gone in the round.

Scott wants to improve his position, back to half guard but Dickweed has ideas of his own. He's got hold of Scott's far side arm and it looks like he's got an Americana. Ohh! Ohhhh! OOOOOOOOOH! A human being's arm is not meant to bend like that! Scott is tapping like a morse code operator on the Titanic! SOS SOS! He's out of here! Great win for Dickweed!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:26 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Americana). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: TWGC 26 (265+lbs, D1): Montreal Qualifier - Round 1     
Date:   Oct 17, 2019

Coming up we have a super heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Rastaphan Dominatrix (ranked 2693 p4p, 0 weight class) and Professor Dickweed (ranked 2255 p4p, 280 weight class). Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!




190 cm
46 yrs
215 lbs



175 cm
33 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the super heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of New York, with a TWGC record of 2 wins and 2 losses; Rastaphan Dominatrix! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 7 wins and 8 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are Yves DeLean, Gregory Folan and Steve Smith.


The official calls the fighters to the middle and the contest is under way.

Dominatrix pushes Dickweed up against the cage in a clinch.
Dominatrix has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Dominatrix is trying to work for a single leg takedown but Dickweed pulls him back up using the underhooks.

Dominatrix has picked Dickweed up - he's going for a ride! Dominatrix dumps his opponent to the mat with a thud and settles into half guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dominatrix (2) vs (0) Dickweed
Dickweed is controlling Dominatrix's position as best he can from this difficult position.
Dickweed works his way to full guard. Good work.
Dominatrix trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Dickweed wants to hit a switch here but Dominatrix passes into full mount! Oh no, disaster for Dickweed there!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dominatrix (5) vs (0) Dickweed
Dickweed sneaks a leg under to get to half guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Dominatrix is looking for an arm triangle, whilst trying to pass to side control. Dickweed doesn't seem that keen to cooperate though. No luck this time Dominatrix.
Dominatrix wants to lay and pray for a moment but Dickweed keeps working.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed is controlling Dominatrix's trapped leg to prevent Dominatrix from advancing to side control.
Dominatrix will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Dickweed is refusing to be controlled, as Dominatrix sits in half guard.
Dominatrix is thwarting Dickweed's attempts to control the position.
Dickweed is trying to get back to full guard.
Dickweed trying to control here.
The fighters are battling for position here. Dickweed manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
Dominatrix trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dominatrix sitting in guard, not really doing much.
Dominatrix is fighting to break Dickweed's control of his arms but Dickweed is doing a good job of controlling the position at the moment.
Dominatrix pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Dickweed is keeping the position for now.

Dominatrix got a little sloppy there for a moment and Dickweed has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Dominatrix has managed to get both his arms back between Dickweed's legs - danger averted.
The fighters are going at a pretty good pace and they're both starting to sweat now.
Dickweed working a defensive guard here.
Dickweed managing to control the position.
Dominatrix stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dominatrix stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Dickweed swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Dickweed looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

Dickweed looking for a triangle here. Dominatrix is fighting it but it looks tight! Dickweed pulls the arm across and this one won't last much longer! Nope, Dominatrix is tapping out - this one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:33 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Triangle Choke). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: Quick Fight Championship     
Date:   Aug 25, 2019
#R1#
Slater misses with a right hand #TD2#
and Dickweed counters with a driving takedown into guard. Nice work there by Dickweed.
Slater looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Slater trying to keep a closed guard but Dickweed is proving a slippery customer.
Dickweed slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
Dickweed prevents Slater from getting back to his feet.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Slater looking to hit a scissor sweep but Dickweed is one step ahead there.
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Slater is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can. #T1#
Dickweed's corner is telling him to maintain position.#REF3#
The referee has decided to stand the fighters back up, so we'll restart on the feet.
Slater slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
We've been hearing reports that Slater has been drilling takedowns in recent sessions so let's see if that has an impact on the result of this fight.
Dickweed tries for a takedown but Slater circles away easily
and Slater counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.#TD2#
Dickweed looks for a takedown. He's got it. We're now in half guard.
Dickweed wants to take a breather but Slater is having none of it. #SUB2#
Dickweed maintaining the dominant position here and is working for a kimura. He's locked it up! Slater could be in real trouble here! He's trying to wriggle out but Dickweed has cracked it and Slater is screaming in pain - he's tapped out! Great finish by Dickweed!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:55 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: DARE SUBMISSION SERIES 4     
Date:   Nov 07, 2018

Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 2052 p4p, 303 weight class) and Santiago Gracie (ranked 6516 p4p, 601 weight class). Both fighters look pumped up here. Let's hope this is a good fight!




175 cm
29 yrs
225 lbs



183 cm
41 yrs
193 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 6 wins and 8 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Rio de Janeiro, with a TWGC record of 10 wins and 8 losses; Santiago Gracie!
The judges for this bout are Marco Blurström, Matti Vanhoillinen and Tarja Halkonen.


The fighters bow as they face eachother in the middle of the mat and we are under way.
A telegraphed takedown attempt from Dickweed is defended easily by Gracie.
Gracie misses with a takedown

and Dickweed counters with a nice double leg into half guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (0) Gracie
Gracie has found himself in a tricky position here. He's been working his transitions in training so let's see if he can work his way out of it.
Dickweed wants to control but Gracie is keeping him busy.
Gracie wants to improve his position but Dickweed is controlling well.
Dickweed wants to take a breather but Gracie is having none of it.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Gracie manages to get to full guard.

Gracie had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Dickweed defends it easily.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Gracie is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Gracie's guard.
Gracie is looking to improve his position.
Dickweed wants to free his trapped foot but Gracie is holding on for dear life with his legs.
Gracie controlling the leg, holding on to half guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed perhaps working for something from half guard, or maybe not. It looks like he's just sitting there.
Gracie wants to get back to full guard.
Gracie keeps trying to improve his position.
Gracie trying to hold on to Dickweed's head to control him but Dickweed postures up.
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Dickweed content to control rather than advance.
Gracie is trying to get back to full guard.
The fighters are battling for position here. Gracie manages to regain full guard. Nice work.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Gracie looking for subs off his back but Dickweed has passed one foot through into half guard.
Gracie makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Gracie.
Dickweed passes easily into side control. Nice work.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (5) vs (0) Gracie
The fighters are trapped in the ropes so we're going to have a reposition here. The ref calls for a break and repositions the fighters in the center of the ring.
Gracie is positioning himself to get back to half guard.
Gracie is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Gracie is sneaking out the side here. He's bucked Dickweed off and has taken his back!
Score +4 for clean sweep to past guard: Dickweed (5) vs (4) Gracie
Gracie really has the hooks in deep now - there seems like no escape for Dickweed.
Dickweed can't escape the position.
You know, I was talking to some of our celebrities at ringside tonight and they were split right down the middle on who was going to win this fight.
We've been hearing good reports from Dickweed's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.
Dickweed is trying to break free.
Dickweed trying to control the hands but Gracie breaks the grip.
Dickweed tries to break free.
Gracie is looking to control Dickweed but Dickweed is wriggling around and keeping busy.
Gracie is not going to allow Dickweed to sit and survive in this position.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to escape the position.
Gracie wants to control but Dickweed is keeping busy.
Dickweed trying to control the position but Gracie manages to sink in the hooks.

Gracie is remaining active here, looking for the choke. The more discerning members of the crowd will appreciate his efforts.
Gracie is controlling his opponent, waiting for an opportunity to finish.

Gracie is remaining active here, looking for the choke. The more discerning members of the crowd will appreciate his efforts.
I would not like to be Dickweed right now.
It looks like Gracie might be adopting somewhat of a lay and pray gameplan here, which I'm sure won't go down too well with the paying fans in attendance... Or the ring announcers come to think of it.
The fighters are tangled up in the ropes here. We might need a restart if the fighters can't break free themselves.
Dickweed just trying to survive but Gracie is wriggling into a better position, looking to finish.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Despite being in a bad position, Dickweed is controlling the hands, preventing any submission attempts.
Gracie gets his hands free as Dickweed looks to control.
Gracie trying to secure his dominant position for a moment - making sure Dickweed doesn't escape.
Dickweed is keeping busy.
Dickweed tries to break free.

Gracie is working really hard to secure the rear naked choke. Dickweed defends successfully for a significant amount of time. Both fighters are looking very determined.
You can see the frustration on Dickweed's face… He knows he is in trouble unless he improves his position sooner rather than later.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.

Gracie is working hard for the rear naked choke here.
Gracie tries to get the hooks in deep but Dickweed pushed the leg off.
Gracie slows the pace down here. Having a little breather whilst he's in a dominant position, looking to rest and regain some energy, ready to go for the finish.
Dickweed wants to escape the position.
Gracie tries to get the hooks in deep but Dickweed pushed the leg off.
Gracie is trying to stick to Dickweed's back but Dickweed is turning into Gracie. He's managed to reverse the position - now he's in Gracie's guard. Polite applause from the crowd in appreciation of some nice Jiu Jitsu by Dickweed.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (7) vs (4) Gracie

Gracie is looking for a triangle but Dickweed pushes his legs off easily.
Gracie keeping moving, preventing Dickweed from controlling successfully.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Gracie wants to control but instead he gets his guard passed and Dickweed is now in half guard.
Gracie is looking for a sweep. Dickweed is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Gracie trying to hold on to Dickweed's head to control him but Dickweed postures up.
Gracie regains full guard. Nicely done.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Gracie is keeping the position.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Gracie keeps moving.
Dickweed stopping the sweep attempt from Gracie.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Gracie swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Dickweed stopping the sweep attempt from Gracie.

Gracie is active off his back here, looking for submissions.

Gracie looking for a guillotine here but Dickweed defends easily.
Gracie looking to control.

Gracie looking for a guillotine here but Dickweed defends easily.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Gracie keeps moving.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed controlling from the top position.
Gracie wants to sweep but no luck.
Dickweed trying to control but Gracie is working from the bottom.
Dickweed passes Gracie's left leg - he's now in half guard.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed prevents Gracie from improving his position.
Dickweed slows the pace down in half guard.
Gracie is trying to maintain the position but Dickweed is very close to passing his half guard.
Gracie is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Gracie trying to control here but he's found himself mounted! Oh no!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (10) vs (4) Gracie

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.
Gracie working to try and regain half guard.
Gracie wants to control but Dickweed is having none of it.
Gracie is looking to get to half guard.

Dickweed goes for an armbar but he's not got it… Gracie turns into him and now he's in Dickweed's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (10) vs (6) Gracie
Dickweed wants to sweep here but Gracie controlling him for the moment.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Gracie trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed trying to keep a closed guard but Gracie is proving a slippery customer.
Gracie stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Dickweed swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Gracie wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Gracie passes Dickweed's right leg, so he's now in half guard.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep. Gracie is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Still in half guard, Gracie seems content to control.
Gracie wants to take a breather but Dickweed is having none of it.

Dickweed actively working from the bottom here.
Dickweed trying to hold on to Gracie's head to control him but Gracie postures up.
Gracie moves into full mount! Dickweed won't be happy about that!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (10) vs (9) Gracie
Dickweed slips a leg in and gets back to half guard.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed is refusing to be controlled, as Gracie sits in half guard.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dickweed takes the fight on points by 10 to 9.
The defeated Santiago Gracie had this to say: 'You just beat a red belt. That is no easy feat. Congrats buddy. '.

 

Event: HBCC Sweet 16     
Date:   Sep 22, 2018

Coming up we have a super heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Ewen Davis (ranked 452 p4p, 17 weight class) and Professor Dickweed (ranked 1953 p4p, 54 weight class). Davis comes into the arena with Atreyu-Ex's and oh's blaring out of the sound system. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!




194 cm
36 yrs
215 lbs



175 cm
28 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the super heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Rio de Janeiro, with a TWGC record of 12 wins and 4 losses; Ewen Davis! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 6 wins and 7 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are Stewart Dunkirk, George Francis and Robert Twigg.


Let's get this grappling contest under way! Who will be victorious?

Davis clinches.

Davis works for the underhooks and manages to get a trip takedown into guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Davis (2) vs (0) Dickweed
Davis controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.
Davis stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Dickweed swivels though and keeps the full guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Davis is stalling in the full guard.
Dickweed wants to sweep but no luck.
Dickweed looking to control the pace of the fight rather than finish it.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Davis looking to pass the guard.
Davis trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed trying to control the position here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Davis controls the pace.
Dickweed tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Davis engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Davis trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Davis slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.
Score +3 for passing guard: Davis (5) vs (0) Dickweed
Dickweed is letting Davis control him for a moment.
Dickweed is trying to control Davis's posture but Davis avoids it.
Davis will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed manages to get back to half guard.
Davis with a momentary lay and pray from half guard.
Dickweed is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Davis's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Davis's back!
Score +4 for clean sweep to past guard: Davis (5) vs (4) Dickweed
Davis tries to roll but Dickweed sticks to his back.

Davis is displaying good submission defense - not really looking in danger of submitting to the rear naked choke at the moment. That could change in an instant of course if Dickweed gets his way!
Dickweed is trying to stick to Davis's back but Davis is turning into Dickweed. He's managed to reverse the position - now he's in Dickweed's guard. Polite applause from the crowd in appreciation of some nice Jiu Jitsu by Davis.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Davis (7) vs (4) Dickweed

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Davis showing good wrestling skills to control the position.
Dickweed is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Davis (7) vs (6) Dickweed
Dickweed trying to control the action but Davis is working from the bottom.
We've been hearing good reports from Davis's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.

Dickweed is trying for a guillotine from the top but the pressure isn't in the right place so Davis is just riding it out for now. Dickweed eventually gives up the hold.
Davis is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Davis slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Dickweed sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Davis's guard.
Davis moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.
Dickweed sitting in guard, not really doing much.
My spies in Hey Steves Fight Shack inform me that Dickweed has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Davis wants to sweep but no luck.
Davis trying to keep a closed guard but Dickweed is proving a slippery customer.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Davis holds on and takes a little breather.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Davis is retaining full guard.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Davis keeps moving.
Davis is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Davis (9) vs (6) Dickweed
Davis is controlling the pace.
Dickweed makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Dickweed.
Dickweed looking to sweep here. No luck so far.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.
Davis pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Dickweed is keeping the position for now.
Davis stands and throws Dickweed's legs to the side, diving into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Davis (12) vs (6) Dickweed
Davis is staying tight to Dickweed's torso, preventing him from escaping.
Dickweed gets one leg under and gets the fight to half guard.
Davis seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Dickweed does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.

Dickweed looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
Dickweed trying to control but Davis postures up.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.

Davis is trying to work for a kimura but Dickweed is defending well.
Dickweed is staying active underneath Davis, who seems content to just control the action from this position.
The referee calls for the fighters to work.
Davis looking to pass the half guard. Not this time.
Dickweed trying to control from the bottom.
Dickweed tries to roll over but Davis keeps him under control.
Davis trying to control the action but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Dickweed tries to regain full guard. Instead though, Davis has advanced to mount. Uh oh.
Score +3 for passing guard: Davis (15) vs (6) Dickweed

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed slips a leg in and gets back to half guard.
Davis is trying to control the action in half guard but Dickweed is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Davis controlling the pace.
Dickweed is looking to improve his position.

Dickweed is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Davis pulls his head out easily.
Dickweed trying to hold on to Davis's head to control him but Davis postures up.

Davis seems to be working for a kimura but Dickweed defends the submission attempt.
Dickweed is looking to improve his position.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is refusing to be controlled, as Davis sits in half guard.
Dickweed is trying to get back to full guard.
Dickweed wants to control but Davis is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Davis stalling.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Dickweed.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Davis controlling from the top position.
Davis wants to pass the guard but Dickweed is keeping the position.
Davis slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.
Dickweed pulls Davis in to control the position.
Dickweed is trying to control the position but Davis postures up.
Davis is just sitting in guard, looking to avoid any submissions.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Davis advances to half guard.
Davis trying to mount his opponent but Dickweed defends it.
Davis is looking to take a break and control but Dickweed is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Davis controlling the pace.
Dickweed wants to get back to full guard.
Davis uses his free foot to push down on Dickweed's thigh. Eventually he works his other foot free and he's advanced to mount - this is trouble for Dickweed.
Score +3 for passing guard: Davis (18) vs (6) Dickweed
Dickweed holds on, trying desperately to control.
Davis controlling from mount.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.
Davis manages to capitalize on a mistake by Dickweed to take his back!
Score +3 for taking back: Davis (21) vs (6) Dickweed
Davis just keeping the dominant position. He can't wait too long though, otherwise the referee will stand them back up.

Davis patiently working for the choke. Which fighter will keep their nerve here?
Dickweed is in bad spot here.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Davis is riding his opponent, not letting Dickweed buck him off.
Dickweed is defending well here and trying to improve his position.
Davis keeps control of the position easily here as Dickweed tries to buck him off.
Davis tries to keep control of the position but Dickweed is staying busy.
Dickweed tries to break free.
Dickweed keeps trying to improve his position.
Will Davis go for the finish here or will he try and keep control of the position?

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to control the position but Davis manages to sink in the hooks.
Dickweed staying busy and making it hard for Davis to control.
What can Dickweed do to escape this position? He's going to have to figure it out pretty quick if he wants to stay in the fight!
Davis seems to have a rather negative gameplan on the ground. He seems keen to just score the takedown and hold down Dickweed for as long as he can get away with.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Davis trying to control momentarily.
What can Dickweed do to escape this position? He's going to have to figure it out pretty quick if he wants to stay in the fight!

And that's the end of the fight!
Davis takes the fight on points by 21 to 6.
A very excited looking Ewen Davis made sure he remembered to thank all the fans both in the arena and on the internet. He said all the coolest people spend all day on MMA websites, which got a big reaction.

 

Event: HBCC 2     
Date:   Sep 11, 2018

Coming up we have a super heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 1910 p4p, 54 weight class) and Will Andreas (ranked 6613 p4p, 206 weight class). Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!




175 cm
28 yrs
225 lbs



150 cm
18 yrs
163 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the super heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 5 wins and 7 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Sydney, with a TWGC record of 0 wins and 0 losses; Will Andreas!
The judges for this bout are Frank Dennis, Wesley Smith and Cecil Peabody.


The fighters connect hands in the middle of the mat and we are under way.

Dickweed drives through with a takedown into Andreas's guard. Let's see what he can do from the top position.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (0) Andreas
Andreas is trying to control the position but Dickweed postures up.
Andreas might have to switch it up a bit here because his efforts to control Dickweed haven't been going to plan, at least at the current moment in time.

Andreas escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Dickweed gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
We're hearing some news coming in from back stage. It's official - Andreas has eaten all the pies!
Dickweed's corner is telling him to maintain position.
Andreas is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Dickweed controlling from the top position.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed passes Andreas's left leg - he's now in half guard.

Andreas looking for submissions off his back.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Andreas is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Dickweed pulls his head out easily.
Dickweed keeping composed on the top, looking to control the action.
Dickweed frees up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (5) vs (0) Andreas
Dickweed controlling from the full mount.

Dickweed looks like he's working for a submission but he's not found anything just yet.
Andreas wants to control but Dickweed is having none of it.
Dickweed tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Dickweed working from mount. He moves in close and looks like he might be going for an arm triangle... He's hopped off to the side and he's transitioned into an Anaconda choke. Andreas turning a nasty shade of purple. He's refusing to tap but he's gone! He's out! The ref rips Dickweed off and cradles Andreas's limp body as Dickweed celebrates with his corner.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:20 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Anaconda Choke). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: TWGC 22 (265lbs, D1): Finals - Round 1     
Date:   Aug 11, 2018

Coming up we have a heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 1906 p4p, 0 weight class) and Indigo Starseed (ranked 12339 p4p, 0 weight class). I'm sure you'll be fascinated to know that I was talking to some pointless Z list celebrity before the fight and he thought that Indigo Starseed was going to win. Let's see if he was right.




175 cm
28 yrs
225 lbs



187 cm
40 yrs
212 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 5 wins and 6 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Las Vegas, with a TWGC record of 9 wins and 7 losses; Indigo Starseed!
The judges for this bout are Yves DeLean, Ian Loll and Steve Smith.


The fighters bow as they face eachother in the middle of the mat and we are under way.
Starseed looks for a takedown but Dickweed sprawls well.

Dickweed shoots in looking for a single leg takedown. Starseed is trying to defend but Dickweed finishes it well and ends up in half guard. Let's see if he can advance position further.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (0) Starseed
Dickweed is pressing down on Starseed's thigh, looking to free his foot. Starseed is holding on for now.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Dickweed trying to control from half guard but Starseed is working away.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed is really struggling to control Starseed but he's trying to hold on to the position.
Dickweed is trying to advance to mount but he's lost his balance and Starseed reverses the position - he's now on top in Dickweed's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (2) Starseed
Starseed sitting in guard here, content to control.

Dickweed working for a triangle but Starseed defends it easily.
Dickweed managing to control the position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Starseed from controlling successfully.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Dickweed holds on and takes a little breather.
Dickweed looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Dickweed holds on and takes a little breather.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Dickweed working a defensive guard here.

Dickweed had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Starseed defends it easily.
Dickweed is avoiding any damage by keeping wrist control.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Starseed stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.

Starseed got a little sloppy there for a moment and Dickweed has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Starseed has managed to get both his arms back between Dickweed's legs - danger averted.

Dickweed looking for a guillotine here but Starseed defends easily.
Starseed looking to pass the guard.
My spies in HELLCADEMY (Ground Training) inform me that Starseed has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to keep a closed guard but Starseed is proving a slippery customer.
Starseed stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.
Starseed sitting in guard, not really doing much.
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
Dickweed controls Starseed momentarily but Starseed frees himself.
Starseed sitting in guard, not really doing much.
Dickweed wants to control but Starseed passes easily into half guard.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is trying to get back to full guard.
Dickweed might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Starseed wants to lay and pray for a moment but Dickweed keeps working.
Dickweed is controlling Starseed's trapped leg to prevent Starseed from advancing to side control.
Starseed trying to mount his opponent but Dickweed defends it.
Dickweed tries to roll over but Starseed keeps him under control.
Dickweed gets back to full guard.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Starseed preventing the sweep.
Dickweed is trying to control the position but Starseed postures up.
Dickweed tries to land a sweep but no joy.

Dickweed escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Starseed gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.

Dickweed had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Starseed defends it easily.
Dickweed controls Starseed momentarily but Starseed frees himself.
Starseed preventing the sweep.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to keep a closed guard but Starseed is proving a slippery customer.
Dickweed is going to have to think about doing something other than just controlling because Starseed is managing to avoid having the position dictated to him.

Dickweed has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Starseed can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Dickweed looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Dickweed is trying to keep Starseed in close.
Dickweed is pulling down on Starseed's head to control his posture.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Starseed controls the pace.
Starseed's corner are shouting for him to control the position and he seems happy to oblige.
Dickweed looking to hit a scissor sweep but Starseed is one step ahead there.

Dickweed looking for submissions from the bottom but instead Starseed passes into half guard.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Starseed controlling the pace.
Dickweed trying to control but Starseed postures up.
Dickweed is looking to get full guard. It looks like he might be successful but at the last minute Starseed jumps into side control!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (2) vs (5) Starseed
Dickweed is trying to control Starseed's posture but Starseed avoids it.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
You can see the frustration on Dickweed's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.
Dickweed is looking to regain half guard here but Starseed keeps moving and retains side control.
Dickweed is trying to control Starseed's posture but Starseed avoids it.
Starseed controlling the position.
Dickweed wants to control but Starseed postures up.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Starseed in side control, just content to control the action for now.
Dickweed struggling a bit here.
Dickweed is positioning himself to get back to half guard.
Dickweed struggling a bit here.
Dickweed tries to bench press Starseed off him but Starseed keeps the position.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is working hard here to advance position.
Starseed controls the position from side control.
Dickweed is looking to regain half guard here but Starseed keeps moving and retains side control.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
You can see the frustration on Dickweed's face as Starseed controls the position.
Dickweed tries to bench press Starseed off him but Starseed keeps the position.
Dickweed is trying to get back to half guard. He's pushing on Starseed's leg. He's managed it. Nice work.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed wants to control but Starseed is keeping busy.
Starseed stalling.
Dickweed wants to control but Starseed is keeping busy.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Dickweed.
Starseed controlling from the top position.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Dickweed holds on and takes a little breather.
Starseed wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed wants to sweep here but Starseed controlling him for the moment.

And that's the end of the fight!
Starseed wins on points by 5 to 2.
Post fight, Indigo Starseed stared into the camera and said 'Man first off I want to say thank you to the creator for allowing me to show you all my true potential tonight, and then I would like to thank Broken Halo Pride! You are my blood and my family! I also want to say Garfield, your a a beast man, if you would have just laced off the lasagna I might no'.

 

Event: TWGC 22 (265lbs, D1): Tokyo Qualifier - Round 2     
Date:   Aug 03, 2018

Coming up we have a heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Ewen Davis (ranked 412 p4p, 0 weight class) and Professor Dickweed (ranked 1848 p4p, 0 weight class). Davis comes to the cage accompanied by Atreyu-Ex's and oh's. Both fighters really staring each other down here, as Professor Dickweed enters the cage!




194 cm
35 yrs
211 lbs



175 cm
28 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Rio de Janeiro, with a TWGC record of 11 wins and 3 losses; Ewen Davis! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 4 wins and 6 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are Tatsuya Matsuyama, Taro Takaoka and Shirou Masuda.


The official calls the fighters to the middle and the contest is under way.

Davis moves into the clinch.
Davis drops to a knee looking for a takedown but Dickweed gets the underhooks and prevents it.
Davis is working on a leg, looking for a takedown but Dickweed is defending well.
Davis wants a takedown but no success here.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Ewen Davis. That's going to take a lot out of him.

Davis has dropped down and is working for a takedown. Dickweed is trying to keep an underhook but Davis manages to get the takedown into half guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Davis (2) vs (0) Dickweed
Dickweed is trying to get back to full guard.
Dickweed trying to control from the bottom.
Dickweed is looking to improve his position.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Davis wants to work for an arm triangle but Dickweed is really keeping half guard well and defending the submission attempt.
Dickweed trying to control from the bottom.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed is refusing to be controlled, as Davis sits in half guard.
Davis has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Davis is just sitting in half guard, waiting for something to happen.
Davis tries to pass to full mount but Dickweed defends it.
Dickweed manages to get to full guard.
Dickweed not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Davis tries to free his leg and advance position but Dickweed is retaining full guard.
Dickweed is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
Dickweed is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Davis trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Davis preventing the sweep.

Dickweed looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
Davis seems content to control from guard here. He's going to have to remain active though if he doesn't want to get stood back up.
Dickweed trying to keep a closed guard but Davis is proving a slippery customer.
Davis showing good wrestling skills to control the position.
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Davis from controlling successfully.
Dickweed has Davis pulled in close to control his posture.
Dickweed looking for a sweep. Not yet Dickweed, not yet.
Davis looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed controls Davis momentarily but Davis frees himself.
Dickweed has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Davis slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
Davis looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Davis from controlling successfully.
Davis will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Davis engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Davis advances position into side control!
Score +3 for passing guard: Davis (5) vs (0) Dickweed

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Davis taking a breather here.
Davis wants to control but Dickweed is keeping him busy.
Dickweed tries to improve position but can't.
Davis wants to control but Dickweed is keeping him busy.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Dickweed can't do much from the bottom here.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed being controlled for a moment.
Dickweed gets back to half guard.
Dickweed tries to roll over but Davis keeps him under control.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Davis controlling the action here.
Davis prevents Dickweed from improving his position.
Davis wants to pass the guard but Dickweed is defending well.
Dickweed wants to get back to full guard.

Davis is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Dickweed has managed to free his arm - good work.
Dickweed tries to roll over but Davis keeps him under control.
Davis is trying to control the action in half guard but Dickweed is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Dickweed moves his hips nicely and gets into full guard.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Dickweed is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Dickweed might have to switch it up a bit here because his efforts to control Davis haven't been going to plan, at least at the current moment in time.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Davis from controlling successfully.
Davis controlling from the top position.

Dickweed pushes a forearm under Davis's chin to create some space. He's escaped his hips and pivoted quickly for an armbar! Can he extend the arm? Yes, Davis is tapping out! Damn, that was fast!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 8:57 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Armbar). Professor Dickweed!
The defeated Ewen Davis had this to say: 'Ill be back and next time ill be ready.'.

 

Event: TWGC 22 (265lbs, D1): Tokyo Qualifier - Round 1     
Date:   Aug 02, 2018

Coming up we have a heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Erkki Putkilo (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Professor Dickweed (ranked 1836 p4p, 0 weight class). Well, the cameraman is lingering on a pretty young lady for a bit too long there. Keep your eyes on the prize buddy or you'll miss the fighter intros!




191 cm
37 yrs
185 lbs



175 cm
28 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Las Vegas, with a TWGC record of 5 wins and 5 losses; Erkki Putkilo! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 3 wins and 6 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are Tatsuya Matsuyama, Yuuki Gou and Hirohito Nitta.


The fighters connect hands in the middle of the mat and we are under way.
Putkilo shoots in for a takedown. "I don't think so" says Dickweed as he avoids it easily.
Putkilo shoots in with a takedown attempt and he has Dickweed pinned against the cage. Dickweed gets the underhooks and manages to circle away.
Putkilo has his takedown stuffed

and Dickweed counters with a shoot takedown into half guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Putkilo (0) vs (2) Dickweed
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Erkki Putkilo. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Dickweed content to control rather than advance.
Putkilo tries to get to full guard but Dickweed has control of the leg.

Dickweed is looking for a kimura but Putkilo is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Dickweed to get the leverage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Putkilo does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.

Putkilo looking for submissions off his back.
Dickweed performing his best blanket impression for a moment.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed is looking to advance position but Putkilo won't allow it.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Well, if Dickweed is going to just lie there, perhaps we should talk about what we're having for dinner tonight… I'm having a ham and pineapple pizza… Yum. Can't wait.

Putkilo looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.
My spies in Hey Steves Fight Shack inform me that Dickweed has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Dickweed passes to side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Putkilo (0) vs (5) Dickweed

Dickweed wants to work for a kimura but he's foiled early by Putkilo, who protects the arm well.
Putkilo gives up the full mount - oops, sloppy defensive grappling there!
Score +2 for reaching mount: Putkilo (0) vs (7) Dickweed

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to control the pace but Putkilo is squirming around nicely.
Putkilo tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Dickweed takes a little breather and maintains the position. The referee will be looking for him to stay active from such a dominant position though.
Dickweed is dominating on the ground here - he's now on his opponent's back, looking to sink in the hooks. Putkilo is in real trouble.
Score +3 for taking back: Putkilo (0) vs (10) Dickweed
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
A lull in the action here.

Dickweed is staying calm and holding on to the back position, whilst working on a rear naked choke. Putkilo is defending well though. Dickweed let's go of the attempt for now.

Dickweed working for a choke but Putkilo is defending well.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Putkilo prevents Dickweed from getting a body triangle.

Dickweed is looking to finish the fight by rear naked choke. Putkilo knows exactly what he's got planned though, so he's defending well. Maybe a few strikes would soften Putkilo for a finish.
Putkilo manages to reverse the position and now he's in Dickweed's guard. Nice work there by Putkilo.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Putkilo (2) vs (10) Dickweed
Putkilo wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Dickweed seems keen to control Putkilo's posture.
Let's hope that Dickweed has the urge to step up the pace any second now because for the last 15 or 20 seconds he's just been holding on tight.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Dickweed is on top in guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Putkilo (2) vs (12) Dickweed
Putkilo is trying to control the position but Dickweed postures up.

Putkilo had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Dickweed defends it easily.

Putkilo has his foot on Dickweed's thigh. He's trying to push off and get in position for a triangle, I think. Dickweed works his way back into a safe position though.
Putkilo looking to hit a scissor sweep but Dickweed is one step ahead there.
Dickweed controls from within his opponent's guard.

Putkilo is working actively off his back, looking to secure an arm or perhaps work for a triangle.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Putkilo has his hands on Dickweed's head, controlling the position.

Putkilo looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.
Dickweed trying to control but Putkilo is working from the bottom.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Putkilo is keeping the position.

Putkilo looking for a guillotine here but Dickweed defends easily.
Putkilo keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass.

That's six minutes gone in the round.

Putkilo has a loose triangle. He'll be looking to tighten that up but Dickweed can see exactly what he's planning and manages to posture up and free himself.
Dickweed controls the pace of the fight for a moment.
Putkilo keeping moving, preventing Dickweed from controlling successfully.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed stands and throws Putkilo's legs to the side, diving into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Putkilo (2) vs (15) Dickweed
Dickweed tries to move to mount but Putkilo blocks the move with his legs.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed in side control, just content to control the action for now.
Putkilo tries to improve position but can't.
Putkilo is not content to let Dickweed control the position.
Putkilo looking for a sweep but Dickweed has passed into full mount! Oh no!
Score +2 for reaching mount: Putkilo (2) vs (17) Dickweed
Putkilo is controlling an arm, preventing Dickweed from taking his back. Although keeping him in mount is no better to be honest.
Putkilo is in a tricky position but he's been working on his transitions down at HELLCADEMY (Ground Training), so we'll see if he gets out of it.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed moves to the back.
Score +3 for taking back: Putkilo (2) vs (20) Dickweed
Putkilo is really stuck here.
Dickweed tries to keep control of the position but Putkilo is staying busy.
Putkilo can't escape the position.
Putkilo tries to escape the position - he's now mounted. Is that better or worse? Hard to tell!
Putkilo can't escape the position.
Dickweed controlling the pace for now.
Putkilo can't escape the position.
Dickweed tries to control but Putkilo wriggling away.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Putkilo working to try and regain half guard.
Putkilo tries to hold on but Dickweed pushes him away.
Dickweed trying to control but he's not successful this time.
Dickweed controlling the pace for now.
Dickweed trying to control but Putkilo is having none of it.
Putkilo tries to reverse the position but Dickweed maintains control.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to control but Putkilo is having none of it.
Putkilo sneaks a leg under to get to half guard.
Dickweed tries to pass the half guard into mount. Putkilo knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
Dickweed wants to control but Putkilo is keeping him busy.
Dickweed might have to switch it up a bit here because his efforts to control Putkilo haven't been going to plan, at least at the current moment in time.
Dickweed keeping composed on the top, looking to control the action.
Putkilo trying to control but Dickweed postures up.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Putkilo is defending well.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed prevents Putkilo from improving his position.
Dickweed tries to pass to full mount but Putkilo defends it.
Putkilo wants to control but Dickweed is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Dickweed controlling the action here.

Putkilo is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Dickweed pulls his head out easily.
Dickweed prevents Putkilo from improving his position.
Dickweed perhaps working for something from half guard, or maybe not. It looks like he's just sitting there.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.

Dickweed is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Putkilo sees it coming and defends easily.
Well,Putkilo is on his way to losing a decision here. Can he use his experience to pull something off in the closing minutes?

Dickweed is looking for a kimura but Putkilo is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Dickweed to get the leverage.
Putkilo is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Dickweed's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Dickweed's back!
Score +4 for clean sweep to past guard: Putkilo (6) vs (20) Dickweed
Putkilo struggling to keep hold of the position.
Putkilo has the hooks in. Dickweed is trying to push off one leg but he has to do so cautiously to avoid being submitted.

Dickweed showing good submission defense here.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Putkilo is hanging on to Dickweed's back as he tries to escape.
Dickweed staying busy and making it hard for Putkilo to control.
Dickweed trying to control the hands but Putkilo won't let him.
You can see the frustration on Dickweed's face… He knows he is in trouble unless he improves his position sooner rather than later.
Dickweed is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.

Dickweed defending nicely against the rear naked choke attempt.
Dickweed rolls and manages to get back to half guard. Nicely done.
Dickweed is looking to control Putkilo's leg but it's slowly edging free. Can Dickweed avoid being mounted?

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
The fighters are battling for position here. Dickweed manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
Dickweed not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Putkilo wants to pass the guard but Dickweed is keeping the position.
Dickweed pulls Putkilo in close to prevent any damage.
Putkilo sitting in guard here, content to control.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dickweed wins on points by 20 to 6.

 

Event: Quick Fight Championship     
Date:   Jun 13, 2018
#R1#
Dickweed uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Kaepernick. #CL2#
The fight moves into the clinch position.
Kaepernick misses with a punch to the body.
A quick uppercut on the inside from Kaepernick.
Dickweed blocks a couple of punches on the inside.
Dickweed blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Kaepernick misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Dickweed trying to control the position but instead, Kaepernick has worked for underhooks and has pushed Dickweed into the cage.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Kaepernick lands a shoulder strike.
Kaepernick lands on the inside with an uppercut.
Dickweed blocking some punches. #T1#
Kaepernick misses with a punch on the inside.
Dickweed has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Dickweed is pushing Kaepernick up against the cage, for a bit of lean and pray action. Action being used the in the loosest possible sense of the word.
Dickweed stalling here - the referee won't stand for too much of that.
Dickweed stalling here - the referee won't stand for too much of that.
Kaepernick lands with a quick shot inside that doesn't really do much damage.
Dickweed blocking some punches.
Kaepernick doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Kaepernick misses with some punches.
Dickweed stalling in the clinch but Kaepernick improves position.
Kaepernick tries to work over Dickweed's body with a swooping hook but it only glances the target.
Dickweed blocks a body shot from Kaepernick. #T2#
Dickweed blocks a body shot from Kaepernick.
Dickweed has Kaepernick pressed up against the cage and is working for takedown. Kaepernick manages to improve position though and keeps the fight standing.
Dickweed is trying to drag Kaepernick to the mat but Kaepernick just about manages to keep his footing. He used the cage to his advantage there.
Kaepernick throws a punch but it's blocked by Dickweed.
Kaepernick tries a body shot but Dickweed blocks it.
Kaepernick tries to land a shot to the body but it's blocked.
Kaepernick doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Kaepernick lands a hook that snaps the head of Dickweed backwards.
Dickweed controlling the action here for a moment.
Kaepernick tries a body shot but Dickweed blocks it. #T3#
Kaepernick misses with some punches.
Kaepernick doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Kaepernick swings wildly with an uppercut but Dickweed uses good head movement to avoid it.
Dickweed jumps guard but his hands slip and he falls flat on his back. Well, he's made himself look a right mug there, as Kaepernick walks away with a smile on his face. Dickweed gets slowly back to his feet and shakes his head.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Professor Dickweed. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Kaepernick throws a jab when Dickweed was well out of range.
Dickweed will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Dickweed bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
No luck for Dickweed with that takedown attempt.
It seemed like Kaepernick was going to counter with the hook but didn't fully commit to it.
Kaepernick connects with a lovely jab that went straight through the gap between Dickweed's hands.#T4#
Dickweed moves away from the strike by Kaepernick.
Dickweed appears to be looking for a counter takedown.
Kaepernick fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Dickweed on the side of the head.
Dickweed closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Kaepernick misses with a looping right.
Dickweed shoots in for a takedown. "I don't think so" says Kaepernick as he avoids it easily.
Kaepernick appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Dickweed takes a jab right on the nose. That must have hurt but he shrugs his shoulders and looks to return the favor.
Dickweed takes a shot right to the liver - Bas would have been proud of that punch.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Dickweed tries to score a power double leg takedown but Kaepernick sees that one coming and sprawls well. That will dishearten Dickweed somewhat.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Colin Kaepernick dominated that round.
The fighters get back to their feet, the hooter sounds and we're back to the action!
#R2#
Kaepernick swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Dickweed.
Dickweed ducks right into an uppercut from Kaepernick.
Kaepernick connects with a crisp jab.
Kaepernick sizes up Dickweed with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle. #ROC2#
Dickweed is rocked!
Kaepernick cracks Dickweed with a hook to the jaw. Both fighters smile at eachother and high-five before getting back down to business.
Oh Dickweed is still all over the place! His legs are completely gone! Will he be able to recover?!!
Dickweed shoots for a double leg takedown but Kaepernick sprawls well. He's pushed Dickweed's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Kaepernick scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Dickweed doesn't seem bothered though.
Kaepernick pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Kaepernick lands a right hook to the body.
Dickweed seems to have got his legs back now.
Dickweed shoots for a double leg takedown but Kaepernick sprawls well. He's pushed Dickweed's face into the mat and manages to get back to his feet relatively easily.
Colin Kaepernick is looking to keep the fight on the feet at all costs.#T1#
Dickweed fails with a rather predictable takedown attempt.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Professor Dickweed. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Dickweed tries to shoot in for a takedown. He's got hold of a leg but Kaepernick swivels and escapes.
Kaepernick misses with a hook.
A slow jab from Kaepernick misses its intended target.
Dickweed with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Kaepernick to score with a decent uppercut.
Kaepernick listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Kaepernick slaps away a takedown attempt from Dickweed, before circling back to the center of the mat.#T2#
Kaepernick swings and misses with a hook to the body.
Dickweed drops down looking for a counter takedown but Kaepernick sprawls and moves away.
Kaepernick dips to his left and cracks Dickweed with an uppercut!#TD#
Dickweed shoots in looking for a single leg takedown. Kaepernick is trying to defend but Dickweed finishes it well and ends up in half guard. Let's see if he can advance position further.
Dickweed wants to free his trapped foot but Kaepernick is holding on for dear life with his legs.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Dickweed seems to be taking a bit of a break to think of his next move. He lands a short punch in the meantime.
Dickweed throws a strike but Kaepernick avoids it easily and moves to full guard.
Dickweed chips away with some ground and pound.
Kaepernick has Dickweed pulled in close to control his posture.
Kaepernick working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Dickweed. #T3#
Dickweed loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
Dickweed throws a big elbow that misses.
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Kaepernick swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Dickweed is fighting to break Kaepernick's control of his arms but Kaepernick is doing a good job of controlling the position at the moment.
Dickweed might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.#SUB#
Dickweed drops back, looking for a kneebar! Kaepernick looks panicked! The fighters roll across the mat, one looking to finish, one looking to escape. Kaepernick looks to have wriggled free... Yes, he's got his leg free and he's dived into side control! Good work there from Kaepernick! #REVB##T4#
Dickweed is looking to slip a leg under and get half guard but Kaepernick is one step ahead and moves to full mount!
Dickweed is desperately trying to get back to half guard.
Dickweed gets back to half guard.
Dickweed wants to sweep but Kaepernick has passed to side control!
Dickweed is looking for a sweep.
Dickweed seems a little lost for a moment, as Kaepernick dominates the positioning.
Dickweed manages to get one leg in to regain half guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Colin Kaepernick showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
That's time! Back to the action! This is the final round!
#R3#
Kaepernick connects with a right hand. Dickweed shakes it off.
Kaepernick connects with a body shot that sends Dickweed's belly button to the back.#TD#
Dickweed shoots in from a long way out. He's driving through with the takedown attempt and he eventually gets it, landing in Kaepernick's guard.#ES2#
Kaepernick pushes Dickweed off and scrambles back to his feet.
Dickweed takes one to the side of the head.
Kaepernick throws a jab, cross combination which is slipped #TD#
and Dickweed counters with a shoot takedown into half guard.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Dickweed throwing shots but Kaepernick is blocking nicely. #SUB#
Dickweed seems to be working for a kimura but Kaepernick defends the submission attempt.
Kaepernick has no desire to be mounted, so is trying to control. Dickweed is working away from the top position though.#T1#
Dickweed thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Kaepernick's head.
Kaepernick avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Dickweed.
Dickweed looking to pass the half guard. Not this time. #SUB#
Dickweed seems to be looking for submissions.
Dickweed throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man. #SUB#
Dickweed is trying to work for a kimura but Kaepernick is defending well.
Dickweed looks to land a strike but Kaepernick avoids it nicely and regains full guard.
Professor Dickweed has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!#T2#
There's not a lot going on here and the crowd are letting the fighters know they're not willing to tolerate a lack of action.
Dickweed throwing strikes but missing.
Dickweed chips away with some ground and pound.
Dickweed throws a strike but Kaepernick rolls with it and manages to sweep. Now he's in guard on top. #REVB#
Dickweed throwing some rather feeble looking strikes off his back.
Dickweed manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Kaepernick manages to get himself to full guard. #REVR#
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed works over Kaepernick with some ground and pound from guard.
Kaepernick working a defensive guard here. #T3##SUB#
Dickweed postures up as if he's going to throw some strikes but drops back for an ankle! Kaepernick is in big trouble! He looks ready to tap! But no, he's escaped and dives on top of Dickweed, into his guard. #REVB#
Dickweed has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.#SUB#
Kaepernick has a momentary lapse of concentration, allowing Dickweed to throw up a leg and lock on what appears to be a pretty tight triangle! Kaepernick is fighting it off but it's all too little too late - Dickweed pulls down on the head and he's put Kaepernick to sleep! This one is all over!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:42 of round 3, we have a winner by way of Submission (Triangle). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: Quick Fight Championship     
Date:   Dec 16, 2017
#R1##TD#
Bawdeep gets caught on his heels momentarily as he allows Dickweed to score an easy takedown into full guard.
Bawdeep wants to get back to his feet but Dickweed is in a dominant position and won't allow it.
Dickweed passes easily into side control. Nice work.
Bawdeep gives up the full mount - oops, sloppy defensive grappling there!
Bawdeep is trying to stand but he's not in a good position to be doing that! Dickweed has taken his back!
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Bawdeep trying to get back to his feet but Dickweed is in full control for now.
Dickweed controlling the position well here. Bawdeep rolled but Dickweed kept the hooks locked in and stayed in the dominant position.
Dickweed has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.#T1##SUB#
Dickweed has the rear naked choke here! This is very bad for Bawdeep! Can he survive? No! He's out! Dickweed gets to his feet and celebrates with his cornermen. He looks absolutely delighted. In the post fight interviews he takes time to thank his parents and everyone who has believed in him from the start. How sweet.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:36 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (RNC). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: TWGC 19 (265+lbs, D1): Montreal Qualifier - Round 2     
Date:   Nov 25, 2017

Coming up we have a super heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Nick Fjera (ranked 646 p4p, 77 weight class) and Professor Dickweed (ranked 2630 p4p, 0 weight class). Nick Fjera has the edge in experience - let's see if he can make that count tonight.




188 cm
33 yrs
273 lbs



175 cm
25 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the super heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of London, with a TWGC record of 1 wins and 1 losses; Nick Fjera! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 3 wins and 5 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are Elvis Blanc, Robert Douchet and William Peck.


Let's get this grappling contest under way! Who will be victorious?

Fjera instigates a clinch.

Fjera has double underhooks and is working for a body lock takedown. He's got it. The fighters land in half guard but Dickweed regains guard immediately.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Fjera (2) vs (0) Dickweed
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Fjera being controlled here momentarily.
Dickweed not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.

Dickweed escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Fjera gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
Fjera trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Dickweed wants to sweep here but Fjera controlling him for the moment.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Fjera stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Dickweed swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Fjera will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Fjera engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Fjera trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Fjera stays in close to Dickweed's body and controls the position.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Fjera from controlling successfully.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Fjera wants to pass the guard but Dickweed is keeping the position.
Fjera works a leg free and moves into half guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Fjera trying to control from half guard but Dickweed is working away.
Fjera looks over to his corner - he wants some instructions but his corner are not responding.
Fjera trying to control the action but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Dickweed won't allow Fjera to pass to mount.
Dickweed wants to control but Fjera is keeping busy and won't allow it.
Fjera moves into full mount! Dickweed won't be happy about that!
Score +3 for passing guard: Fjera (5) vs (0) Dickweed
Dickweed is looking to improve his position but Fjera isn't that keen on the idea.
Dickweed is controlling an arm, preventing Fjera from taking his back. Although keeping him in mount is no better to be honest.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to hold on but Fjera postures up.
Fjera controlling from mount.
Fjera seems to have a rather negative gameplan on the ground. He seems keen to just score the takedown and hold down Dickweed for as long as he can get away with.
Fjera is looking to work his way around to Dickweed's back. He needs to be careful though, as he's in danger of losing this dominant position.
Fjera trying to control but Dickweed is having none of it.
Fjera is going to have to think about doing something other than just controlling because Dickweed is managing to avoid having the position dictated to him.
Dickweed tries to hold on but Fjera pushes him away.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fjera looking to control but Dickweed is working nicely, looking to advance position himself.
Fjera moves to the back.
Score +3 for taking back: Fjera (8) vs (0) Dickweed
Fjera controlling the position well here. Dickweed rolled but Fjera kept the hooks locked in and stayed in the dominant position.
Fjera doesn't have the hooks in and Dickweed manages to turn into his guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Fjera (8) vs (2) Dickweed
Dickweed trying to pass the guard. He's being very persistent here but Fjera manages to land a sweep and now he's on top!
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Fjera (10) vs (2) Dickweed
Fjera slows down the pace of the fight, as he sits in guard.
Fjera trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to control the position.
Dickweed wants to control here, rather than go for any submissions from the bottom. At least for now.
Fjera trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Fjera's corner is telling him to maintain position.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Fjera from controlling successfully.
Dickweed controls Fjera momentarily but Fjera frees himself.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Fjera trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Fjera pushes down on Dickweed's leg and manages to get into half guard.
Fjera is taking a breather. Dickweed says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something.
Fjera is trying to advance to mount but he's lost his balance and Dickweed reverses the position - he's now on top in Fjera's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Fjera (10) vs (4) Dickweed

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed stays in close to Fjera's body and controls the position.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed trying to move into half guard but instead Fjera has managed to sweep!
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Fjera (12) vs (4) Dickweed
Dickweed wants to sweep but no luck.
Fjera pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Dickweed is keeping the position for now.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is trying to control the position but Fjera postures up.
Fjera engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.
Fjera has controlled the position for a good 20 seconds, which will no doubt be starting to frustrate his opponent.
Fjera looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed is pulling down on Fjera's head to control his posture.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Fjera content to stall in guard here.
Fjera trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Fjera pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Dickweed is keeping the position for now.
Fjera is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
Fjera trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Dickweed is trying to control the position but Fjera postures up.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Fjera sitting in guard, not really doing much.
Fjera looking to pass the guard.
Fjera passes easily into side control. Nice work.
Score +3 for passing guard: Fjera (15) vs (4) Dickweed
Dickweed manages to get back to half guard.
Dickweed won't allow Fjera to pass to mount.
The referee calls for the fighters to work.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
This is a sustained period of stalling by Fjera.
Dickweed gets full guard.
Fjera trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Dickweed is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.
Fjera trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Fjera controls the pace of the fight for a moment.
Dickweed controls Fjera momentarily but Fjera frees himself.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.
Fjera tries to free his leg and advance position but Dickweed is retaining full guard.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Fjera from controlling successfully.
Dickweed is trying to keep Fjera in close.
Fjera is stalling in the full guard.
Dickweed looking to hit a scissor sweep but Fjera is one step ahead there.
Fjera wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Fjera looking to pass the guard.
Fjera trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Fjera trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Fjera from controlling successfully.
Dickweed wants to sweep but no luck.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Dickweed holds on and takes a little breather.
Fjera wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Fjera controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.
Fjera slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.
Score +3 for passing guard: Fjera (18) vs (4) Dickweed
Dickweed tries to bench press Fjera off him but Fjera keeps the position.
Fjera wants to take a breather but Dickweed manages to regain guard - a lesson learnt for Fjera.
Dickweed looking for a sweep. Not yet Dickweed, not yet.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Fjera pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Dickweed is keeping the position for now.
Dickweed can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Fjera controls the pace.

And that's the end of the fight!
Fjera takes the fight on points by 18 to 4.
Nick Fjera bigged himself up after the win. The crowd seemed to love it.

 

Event: TWGC 19 (265+lbs, D1): Montreal Qualifier - Round 1     
Date:   Nov 24, 2017

Coming up we have a super heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 2619 p4p, 0 weight class) and Hussein Stahl (ranked 3080 p4p, 0 weight class). Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!




175 cm
25 yrs
225 lbs



208 cm
32 yrs
323 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the super heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 2 wins and 5 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of New York, with a TWGC record of 0 wins and 0 losses; Hussein Stahl!
The judges for this bout are Gregory Folan, Steve Smith and Trevor Gratis.


The official calls the fighters to the middle and the contest is under way.

Stahl drives through and clinches with Dickweed against the cage.

Stahl gets the body lock takedown. After a quick scramble, Dickweed regains guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (0) vs (2) Stahl
Stahl pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Dickweed is keeping the position for now.
Stahl sneaks a leg through and gets to half guard. That was like a knife through butter how easily he passed Dickweed's guard.
Stahl is pressing down on Dickweed's thigh, looking to free his foot. Dickweed is holding on for now.
Stahl wants to control but Dickweed is keeping him busy.
The fighters are battling for position here. Dickweed manages to regain full guard. Nice work.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Dickweed holds on and takes a little breather.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed looking for a sweep. Not yet Dickweed, not yet.
Stahl wants to pass the guard but Dickweed is keeping the position.
Stahl passes Dickweed's right leg, so he's now in half guard.
Stahl trying to control from Dickweed's half guard. Dickweed has other ideas though and has regained full guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Stahl stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Dickweed swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Stahl is still trying to improve position.
Dickweed has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Dickweed pulls Stahl in close to prevent any damage.
Stahl trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
My spies in Touch Of Death Combat Academy inform me that Stahl has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!
Dickweed has Stahl pulled in close to control his posture.
Dickweed looking to hit a scissor sweep but Stahl is one step ahead there.
Dickweed is adopting a defensive guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Stahl wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Dickweed looking to control the pace of the fight rather than finish it.
Stahl stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.
Stahl trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Stahl trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Stahl looking to pass the guard.
Stahl is frustrating his opponent with some stalling tactics from top position.
Stahl tries to free his leg and advance position but Dickweed is retaining full guard.
Dickweed trying to control the position here.
Stahl stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Dickweed swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Dickweed manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Stahl manages to get himself to full guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (2) Stahl

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Stahl keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass.
Dickweed might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Stahl has control of Dickweed's left arm, preventing Dickweed from doing any damage.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Dickweed is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Stahl trying to control the position.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Stahl is keeping the position.

Stahl looking for submissions off his back, moving his hips, looking for an opening.
Stahl working a defensive guard here.
Stahl looking to sweep using the butterfly guard but Dickweed puts pay to that idea as he passes nicely into half guard.

That's five minutes gone in the round.

Stahl is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Dickweed pulls his head out easily.
Dickweed prevents Stahl from improving his position.
Stahl is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard but Stahl defending well.
Stahl tries to regain full guard. Instead though, Dickweed has advanced to mount. Uh oh.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (5) vs (2) Stahl

Dickweed goes for an armbar but Stahl turns quickly into his guard - lovely anticipation from Stahl.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (5) vs (4) Stahl
Dickweed has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Stahl trying to control the position from guard on top but Dickweed is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Stahl controls the pace of the fight for a moment.
Stahl wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Stahl is in a good position here but he's just trying to control... And he's not even managing to do that successfully.
Dickweed pulls Stahl in close to prevent any damage.
Stahl sitting in guard here, content to control.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Stahl slips nicely into half guard.
Dickweed is not content to let Stahl control the position.
Stahl tries to pass the half guard into mount. Dickweed knows what he's doing though and prevents the attempt.
Dickweed trying to control here.
Dickweed is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Stahl seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Dickweed does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.
Dickweed wants to get back to full guard.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Stahl trying to mount his opponent but Dickweed defends it.
Stahl is looking for the mount but instead finds himself back in full guard.

Stahl is holding a leg here, probably looking for an ankle lock - he drops back and goes for it! Dickweed is in trouble! Is it all over??? No! Dickweed has escaped and now he's on top!
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (7) vs (4) Stahl

Stahl had isolated an arm as going for a kimura. Dickweed defends it easily.
Stahl looking for a sweep. Not yet Stahl, not yet.
Stahl is trying to control the position from the bottom.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Stahl keeps moving.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed passes Stahl's right leg, so he's now in half guard.
Stahl keeping control of the position.
Stahl wants to improve his position but Dickweed is controlling well.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Stahl is defending well.
Dickweed trying to advance position but Stahl counters by regaining guard.
Stahl is trying to control the position from the bottom.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Stahl wants to sweep here but Dickweed controlling him for the moment.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard.
Stahl not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Dickweed won't allow Stahl to sweep him here.
Dickweed is stalling in the full guard.
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Stahl swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Dickweed is working hard here to advance position.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Stahl controls Dickweed momentarily but Dickweed frees himself.
Dickweed is pushing down on Stahl's leg trying to pass to half guard. Stahl is fighting to maintain full guard but Dickweed has managed to sneak the leg through.
Dickweed works his way into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (10) vs (4) Stahl

Dickweed is trying to land an Americana. He has the arm isolated but Stahl is keeping cool and he's avoided the danger for now.

Dickweed is trying to land an Americana. He has the arm isolated but Stahl is keeping cool and he's avoided the danger for now.

Dickweed tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no Dickweed has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!
Dickweed trying to control the action but Stahl is working from the bottom.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.
A lull in the action here.
Stahl struggling a bit here.
Stahl looks to move to half guard but instead Dickweed has passed into mount! Damn!
Score +2 for reaching mount: Dickweed (12) vs (4) Stahl
Stahl tries to lock up and control but Dickweed gives him a forearm to the face and pushes him away.
Dickweed trying to control but he's not successful this time.
Dickweed prevents Stahl from getting the reversal.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Stahl has given up his back - I don’t know if this is a deliberate ploy to try and escape or if he is just struggling down there.
Score +3 for taking back: Dickweed (15) vs (4) Stahl
Dickweed controlling well, preventing Stahl from escaping the position.
Will Dickweed go for the finish here or will he try and keep control of the position?

Stahl has hold of Dickweed's leg, trying to break free but it's let Dickweed lock up a rear naked choke! This could be big trouble! Stahl is turning an unusual color here… he's out! Dickweed throws him to one side and jumps onto the cage to celebrate with his fans.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 13:49 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (RNC). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: Quick Fight Championship     
Date:   Oct 02, 2017
#R1##TD#
Dickweed gets the takedown into side control.
Dickweed works to advance to full mount. Connor defends for a few seconds but eventually he succumbs.
Dickweed controlling the position easily from mount.
Dickweed is trying to take his opponent's back.
Connor can't escape the position.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Connor has given up his back. Will we see Dickweed going for some submissions?
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Dickweed controls the action.
Connor really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Dickweed. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.#T1##SUB#
Connor is staying cool under pressure, defending well against the rear naked choke attempt from his opponent. #SUB#
Dickweed looking to break Connor's wrist control so he can sink in the choke. Connor remaining controlled and patient though - he really has to keep calm otherwise Dickweed will wrap this one up with the rear naked choke!
Dickweed not allowing Connor to control his hands. #SUB#
Dickweed tightening his grip on Connor, looking for the choke.
We've been hearing good reports from Dickweed's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.#SUB#
Dickweed working for the rear naked choke here. He's got one arm under but Connor is defending well. A couple of punches soften him up though and Dickweed has tightened the hold! This one could be all over! It is! Connor taps out!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:59 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (RNC). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: TWGC 18 (265lbs, D1): Montreal Qualifier - Round 2     
Date:   Sep 19, 2017

Coming up we have a heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Brock Gracie (ranked 14197 p4p, 0 weight class) and Professor Dickweed (ranked 3010 p4p, 0 weight class). Both fighters look pumped up here. Let's hope this is a good fight!




190 cm
36 yrs
200 lbs



175 cm
24 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of London, with a TWGC record of 2 wins and 8 losses; Brock Gracie! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 2 wins and 4 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are Elvis Blanc, Yves DeLean and Alec Ball.


The fighters connect hands in the middle of the mat and we are under way.

Gracie closes the distance and presses his opponent up against the cage.

Gracie manages to pull guard. Let's see whether he can land a sub off his back.
Gracie keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass.

Gracie throwing his legs up looking for a triangle.

Dickweed avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
We've been hearing good reports from Gracie's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.
Gracie managing to control the position.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Gracie working a defensive guard here.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Gracie keeps moving.

Gracie is looking for a triangle but Dickweed pushes his legs off easily.

Gracie is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Dickweed is aware though and is defending well.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Gracie bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Dickweed's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Gracie (2) vs (0) Dickweed
Dickweed is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.
Gracie stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Gracie pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Dickweed is keeping the position for now.
Dickweed pulls Gracie in close to prevent any damage.
Dickweed is continuing to stall.
Gracie trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Gracie will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Gracie stands and throws Dickweed's legs to the side, diving into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Gracie (5) vs (0) Dickweed

Gracie is trying to land an Americana. He has the arm isolated but Dickweed is keeping cool and he's avoided the danger for now.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed struggling a bit here.
Dickweed manages to land a sweep and he's now on top! Lovely Jiu Jitsu!
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Gracie (5) vs (2) Dickweed
Dickweed seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Gracie does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.

Dickweed is looking for a kimura but Gracie is holding onto that half guard position, so it's hard for Dickweed to get the leverage.
Gracie is trying to control but can't.
Gracie manages to get to full guard.
Dickweed is just sitting in guard, looking to avoid any submissions.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Gracie is trying to control the position from the bottom.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Gracie keeps moving.
Dickweed passes Gracie's left leg - he's now in half guard.
My spies in Hey Steves Fight Shack inform me that Dickweed has been getting involved in the gym's BJJ sparring sessions. Let's see whether that pays dividends!

Gracie looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.

Dickweed is thinking about going for an arm triangle but he can't free his leg.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to control the action but Gracie is working from the bottom.
Dickweed stalling.
Gracie works his way to full guard. Good work.
Gracie not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.

Gracie has thrown up a leg looking for a triangle. Dickweed doesn't defend quickly enough and Gracie has managed to lock this one up! Can Dickweed escape?! NO! He's tapping out! Damn, that was a quick submission - congrats to Gracie on a fantastic submission victory.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 6:55 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Triangle). Brock Gracie!

 

Event: TWGC 18 (265lbs, D1): Montreal Qualifier - Round 1     
Date:   Sep 18, 2017

Coming up we have a heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed (ranked 3002 p4p, 0 weight class) and Indigo Starseed (ranked 13908 p4p, 0 weight class). I don't know about you partner, but I'm pumped for this one!




175 cm
24 yrs
225 lbs



187 cm
36 yrs
212 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 1 wins and 4 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of London, with a TWGC record of 1 wins and 2 losses; Indigo Starseed!
The judges for this bout are Trevor Gratis, Robert Douchet and Elvis Blanc.


The fighters connect hands in the middle of the mat and we are under way.

Dickweed looking for a takedown here - he's got it.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (0) Starseed
We could do with one of the fighters taking the initiative a bit more on the ground - they're both waiting to capitalize on a mistake.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Starseed is on top in guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (2) Starseed
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Starseed from controlling successfully.
Dickweed might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Starseed preventing the sweep.
Starseed's corner is telling him to maintain position.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Starseed manages to get himself to full guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (4) vs (2) Starseed

Starseed escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Dickweed gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.
Dickweed is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Starseed is throwing his legs up, looking for submissions. Dickweed is aware though and is defending well.
Starseed pulls Dickweed in close to prevent any damage.
Dickweed preventing the sweep.
Starseed lands a beautiful sweep and he's now moved into his opponent's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (4) vs (4) Starseed
Starseed controlling from the top position.
Dickweed not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
We've been hearing good reports from Dickweed's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Starseed trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
A real slowdown in the pace of the fight for a moment, as Dickweed holds on and takes a little breather.
Dickweed wants to sweep but no luck.
Dickweed trying to control the position.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Starseed from controlling successfully.
Dickweed bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Starseed's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (6) vs (4) Starseed
Dickweed passes into half guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Starseed has a hand on Dickweed's thigh, trying to get back to full guard. Dickweed takes advantage of the position though and mounts him!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (9) vs (4) Starseed
Dickweed can't quite control the action as he would like just now, as Starseed is looking to escape.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Starseed working to try and regain half guard.
Starseed keeps trying to improve his position.
Starseed wants to control but Dickweed is having none of it.
Starseed holds on to Dickweed as tight as he can, avoiding damage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to control but Starseed is having none of it.
Dickweed forces the positional change into back control.
Score +3 for taking back: Dickweed (12) vs (4) Starseed

Dickweed is working for the rear naked choke. He has one arm under the chin but Starseed has hold of the other arm. A bit of a stalemate here.
Starseed rolls, trying to escape but Dickweed keeps control of the position.
Starseed trying to control the position but Dickweed manages to sink in the hooks.
Starseed manages to reverse the position and now he's in Dickweed's guard. Nice work there by Starseed.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (12) vs (6) Starseed

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Starseed preventing the sweep.
Starseed controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.
Dickweed is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (14) vs (6) Starseed
Starseed wants to get back to full guard.
Dickweed moves into full mount! Starseed won't be happy about that!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (17) vs (6) Starseed
Starseed is wriggling around trying to escape.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Starseed felt the need to train up his defensive grappling in the buildup to the fight. Presumably he was expecting to be in a difficult position like this, so let's see if he can get out of it.
Starseed is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.

Dickweed looking for an armbar but decides to keep the dominant position instead.
Starseed is trying to escape the mount.
Dickweed trying to control but he's not successful this time.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed fails to advance to Starseed's back.
Dickweed controlling his opponent.
Dickweed tries to control but Starseed wriggling away.
Dickweed is going to have to think about doing something other than just controlling because Starseed is managing to avoid having the position dictated to him.

Dickweed goes for an armbar but he's fallen flat on his backside there and now Starseed is on top in guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (17) vs (8) Starseed
Starseed stays in close to Dickweed's body and controls the position.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Starseed is pushing down on Dickweed's leg trying to pass to half guard. Dickweed is fighting to maintain full guard but Starseed has managed to sneak the leg through.
Dickweed is trying to maintain the position but Starseed is very close to passing his half guard.

Starseed is trying to work for a kimura but Dickweed is defending well.
Starseed is keen to just control but Dickweed is a slippery customer.
Dickweed regains full guard. Nicely done.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Starseed from controlling successfully.

Dickweed looking for submissions from the bottom here. Moving his hips around, possibly looking for an armbar.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Starseed sitting in guard, not really doing much.
Starseed's corner are shouting for him to control the position and he seems happy to oblige.
Starseed wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Starseed looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed looking for a sweep. Not yet Dickweed, not yet.
Starseed pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Dickweed is keeping the position for now.
Dickweed looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Dickweed controls Starseed momentarily but Starseed frees himself.
Starseed is stalling in the full guard.

Starseed drops back looking for a leg! Dickweed is in trouble here! The fighters roll with the hold and Dickweed manages to kick Starseed off! Starseed jumps back into Dickweed's guard.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Dickweed keeping full guard, as Starseed tries to pass.
Dickweed has his hands on Starseed's head, controlling the position.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Starseed from controlling successfully.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.
Starseed stopping the sweep attempt from Dickweed.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Starseed controlling from the top position.

Dickweed is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Starseed defends well.
Starseed content to stall in guard here.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Starseed trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Dickweed seems keen to control rather than go for a submission, at least for now.
Starseed is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
Starseed tries to free his leg and advance position but Dickweed is retaining full guard.
Starseed trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to control here, rather than go for any submissions from the bottom. At least for now.
Starseed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Dickweed swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Starseed from controlling successfully.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed tries to land a sweep but no joy.

Dickweed escapes his hips to the side and looks to be working for an armbar. Starseed gives him a little smile and shakes his head. No chance.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dickweed takes the fight on points by 17 to 8.
The defeated Indigo Starseed had this to say: 'Dude, Garfield was a lot tougher than the comic strip version haha... No but seriosuly best 2-3? You owe me another chance to put in a real show for the fans! Good fight man! I'll be back! Better and stronger! Broken analog Pride never quits!'.

 

Event: Quick Fight Championship     
Date:   Aug 07, 2017
#R1##TD2#
Khabilov drives through with a takedown into guard.
We've been hearing good reports from Dickweed's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.
Khabilov wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Dickweed managing to control the position.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move. #REVR#
Dickweed moves into full mount! Khabilov won't be happy about that! #T1#
Khabilov tries to hold on but Dickweed pushes him away. #SUB#
Dickweed looking for an armbar but decides to keep the dominant position instead.
Dickweed avoids the attempt from Khabilov to control.
Dickweed controlling from the full mount. #T2#
Khabilov tries to hold on but Dickweed postures up.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Khabilov is in all sorts of trouble here.
Dickweed takes his opponent's back. Perhaps a chance to lock up a rear naked choke here.
Khabilov is being controlled on the ground here - he must escape this position otherwise surely the end is near. #SUB#
Dickweed looking for the rear naked choke. And he's got it! Khabilov taps!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:58 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (RNC). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: TWGC 17 (205lbs, D1): New York Qualifier - Round 2     
Date:   Jul 03, 2017

Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed and John Gites. Gites has chosen Eminem - Above The Law as his entrance music. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!




175 cm
23 yrs
225 lbs



171 cm
45 yrs
193 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 1 wins and 3 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of London, with a TWGC record of 8 wins and 9 losses; John Gites!
The judges for this bout are Columbo Gatti, Jorge Garcia and Lou da Vinci.


The official calls the fighters to the middle and the contest is under way.

Gites closes the distance and after a bit of a stuggle, scores a takedown into Dickweed's guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (0) vs (2) Gites
Gites wants to pass the guard but Dickweed is keeping the position.
Dickweed has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Gites is taking a break and basically stalling. The referee will not allow him to do that for long.
Dickweed has a closed guard, preventing anything of note from happening. Perhaps he's looking to stall.
Gites wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.
Gites stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Dickweed swivels though and keeps the full guard.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed working a defensive guard here.
Dickweed is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Gites passes into half guard.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep. Gites is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Gites seems content to maintain position for now, rather than mounting any offense.

Gites is working for a kimura but Dickweed is defending it quite comfortably.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Gites wants to control but Dickweed is keeping him busy.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is trying to control but can't.
Dickweed keeping control of the position.
Gites wants to control but Dickweed is keeping him busy.
Dickweed trying to control here.
Gites is looking to take a break and control but Dickweed is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Dickweed wants to improve his position but Gites is controlling well.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.

That's three minutes gone in the round.

Gites seems to be looking for submissions.
Gites performing his best blanket impression for a moment.
Dickweed wants to get back to full guard.
Gites is trying to control. Dickweed wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
Dickweed tries to get to full guard but Gites has control of the leg.
Dickweed has his hands clasped together around Gites's back. He's all about the action.
Dickweed trying to control from the bottom.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Gites wants to lay and pray for a moment but Dickweed keeps working.
Gites wants to pass the guard but Dickweed is defending well.
Dickweed gets full guard.
Gites advances position into side control!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (0) vs (5) Gites
You can see the frustration on Dickweed's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.
Gites controlling from side mount.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Gites wants to control but Dickweed is keeping him busy.
Dickweed is positioning himself to get back to half guard.
Gites wants to control but Dickweed is keeping him busy.
Dickweed tries to improve position but can't.
Gites is looking to take a break and control but Dickweed is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
You can see the frustration on Dickweed's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is looking to reverse the position.

Gites tries for an arm triangle. That looks pretty tight to me. Is this one over!?! Possibly, maybe, no Gites has let go of the choke. Obviously it wasn't as tight as we thought!
Gites wants to control but Dickweed is keeping him busy.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
You can see the frustration on Dickweed's face as Gites controls the position.
Gites wants to lay and pray for a moment but Dickweed keeps working.
Dickweed tries to buck Gites off but Gites is having none of it.
Gites wants to control for a moment but Dickweed uses the opportunity to move back to half guard.

Gites seems to be working for a kimura but Dickweed defends the submission attempt.
Dickweed is looking to improve his position.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Gites's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Gites's back!
Score +4 for clean sweep to past guard: Dickweed (4) vs (5) Gites
Dickweed tries to keep control of the position but Gites is staying busy.
Gites trying to control the hands but Dickweed breaks the grip.
Gites manages to reverse the position and now he's in Dickweed's guard. Nice work there by Gites.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (4) vs (7) Gites
Gites trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Gites sitting in guard, not really doing much.
Dickweed looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Gites slips effortlessly into side control - very nice.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (4) vs (10) Gites
Dickweed is looking for a sweep.
Dickweed gets one leg under and gets the fight to half guard.
Dickweed is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though.
Dickweed is looking to get back to full guard here but Gites has managed to pass to side control instead.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (4) vs (13) Gites

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is not content to let Gites control the position.
Gites controlling the position.
Dickweed manages to work his way to half guard, despite Gites's best efforts.
Dickweed is not content to let Gites control the position.
Dickweed keeping control of the position.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Gites is trying to control the action in half guard but Dickweed is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Gites tries to pass to full mount but Dickweed defends it.

Gites looking for a kimura but he'll have to free his other leg if he wants to finish that. Perhaps he's just using it as a distraction technique.
Dickweed is refusing to be controlled, as Gites sits in half guard.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.

Gites is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Dickweed has managed to free his arm - good work.
Dickweed is trying to get back to full guard.
Dickweed is working hard here to advance position.
Gites is just sitting in half guard, waiting for something to happen.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Gites wants to pass to mount but Dickweed is defending the position.
Gites works his way into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (4) vs (16) Gites
Dickweed tries to get back to half guard but can't.
You can see the frustration on Dickweed's face, being in this tough position on the bottom.
Dickweed is looking to reverse the position.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.

Dickweed wants to control the position but that's not easy when your opponent is in side control! Gites seems to be going for some sort of submission here. Hard to say what - oh, it's a Brabo choke! He's got it! Dickweed is tapping! Wow, great finish!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 14:27 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Brabo Choke). John Gites!
John Gites decided to thank the fans in attendance for making a great atmosphere. It seemed to go down pretty well.

 

Event: TWGC 17 (205lbs, D1): New York Qualifier - Round 1     
Date:   Jul 02, 2017

Coming up we have a light heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Rickson Dredd and Professor Dickweed. Rickson Dredd has the edge in experience - let's see if he can make that count tonight.




195 cm
47 yrs
203 lbs



175 cm
23 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the light heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of London, with a TWGC record of 6 wins and 5 losses; Rickson Dredd! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 0 wins and 3 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are John Roberts, Lou da Vinci and Franklyn Lucas.


The official calls the fighters to the middle and the contest is under way.

Dredd shoots in looking for a single leg takedown. Dickweed is trying to defend but Dredd finishes it well and ends up in half guard. Let's see if he can advance position further.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dredd (2) vs (0) Dickweed
Dickweed is looking to improve his position.
Dickweed desperately trying to maintain half guard.
Dredd trying to control the action but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Dickweed preventing any damage for now, controlling his opponent's head.

Dredd is working for a submission of some sort.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.

Dredd is working for a submission of some sort.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dredd is taking a breather. Dickweed says something to him but it's hard to make out. Perhaps he's telling him to get on with it and actually do something.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep. Dredd is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.

Dredd seems to be working for a kimura but Dickweed defends the submission attempt.
Dickweed is holding on to half guard well.

Dickweed looking for submissions from an awkward position here.
We've been hearing good reports from Dredd's training camp. Apparently he has been rolling around with some good quality BJJ practitioners and has been sharpening his skills. Let's see if that has an impact on the fight today.
Dickweed is trying to get back to full guard.
Dickweed felt the need to train up his defensive grappling in the buildup to the fight. Presumably he was expecting to be in a difficult position like this, so let's see if he can get out of it.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed regains full guard. Nicely done.
Dredd wants to pass the guard but Dickweed is keeping the position.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Dickweed is on top in guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dredd (2) vs (2) Dickweed

Dredd has an active guard here but Dickweed has managed to pass into half guard.
Dickweed trying to control the action but Dredd is working from the bottom.
Dredd is trying to get back to full guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to pass to mount but Dredd is defending the position.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.
Dickweed is trying to control the action in half guard but Dredd is working away on the bottom, looking perhaps to get back to full guard.
Dredd is trying to control but can't.
Dickweed frees up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dredd (2) vs (5) Dickweed
Dredd slips a leg in and gets back to half guard.
Dickweed stalling.

Dredd looking to work for a kimura from the bottom.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is trying to control. Dredd wants to improve his position but can't escape this time.
Dredd tries to get to full guard but Dickweed has control of the leg.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Dredd is defending well.
Dickweed slows the pace down in half guard.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to control the action but Dredd is working from the bottom.

Dredd actively working from the bottom here.
Dredd trying to control but Dickweed postures up.

Dickweed is looking for a kimura but he's never going to get it from there.
Dredd trying to hold on to Dickweed's head to control him but Dickweed postures up.

That's six minutes gone in the round.

Dickweed is trying to work for a kimura. This could be trouble! No, Dredd has managed to free his arm - good work.
Dickweed trying to control the pace.
Dredd is refusing to be controlled, as Dickweed sits in half guard.
Dredd trying to keep hold of his opponent's head but Dickweed manages to pass to mount!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dredd (2) vs (8) Dickweed

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Dredd is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.
Dredd is squirming around, avoiding Dickweed's attempts to control the action.
Dickweed avoids the attempt from Dredd to control.
Dredd keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.
Dredd tries to hold on but Dickweed postures up.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed moves to the back.
Score +3 for taking back: Dredd (2) vs (11) Dickweed
Dickweed has the hooks in. Dredd is trying to push off one leg but he has to do so cautiously to avoid being submitted.
Dredd is very frustrated here, being controlled quite effectively by Dickweed.

Dickweed is persistently looking for the submission but Dredd is defending it well.
Dickweed doesn't have the hooks in and Dredd manages to turn into his guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dredd (4) vs (11) Dickweed

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Dredd postures up.
Dredd looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Dredd from controlling successfully.
Dredd is really struggling to control Dickweed but he's trying to hold on to the position.
Dredd will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Dredd looking to sit in guard and control but Dickweed gets the butterfly guard and sweeps. He's now in the guard on the top.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dredd (4) vs (13) Dickweed
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Dredd is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed trying to control but Dredd is working from the bottom.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed looking to control the position here, rather than advance.

Dredd working for submissions but it's allowed Dickweed to get to half guard.

Dickweed is working for a kimura but Dredd is defending it quite comfortably.
Dredd tries to roll over but Dickweed keeps him under control.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.

Dickweed is looking for a kimura here.
Dredd moves into full guard.

Dickweed avoids a guillotine attempt easily.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.

Dredd looking for a guillotine here but Dickweed defends easily.
Dickweed sitting in guard here, content to control.

Dredd has an active guard here but Dickweed has managed to pass into half guard.
Dredd is looking to get back to full guard here but Dickweed has managed to pass to side control instead.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dredd (4) vs (16) Dickweed

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to move into full mount but can't pass Dredd's legs.
Dickweed wants to lay and pray for a moment but Dredd keeps working.
Dredd is looking for a sweep.
Dickweed tries to advance to mount but Dredd denies him.

Dickweed is trying to land an Americana. He has the arm isolated but Dredd is keeping cool and he's avoided the danger for now.
Dickweed wants to lay and pray for a moment but Dredd keeps working.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Dredd is trying to improve his position.
Dickweed works to advance to full mount. Dredd defends for a few seconds but eventually he succumbs.
Score +2 for reaching mount: Dredd (4) vs (18) Dickweed
Dredd prevents Dickweed from taking his back.
Dickweed takes a little breather and maintains the position. The referee will be looking for him to stay active from such a dominant position though.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dredd is trying desperately to improve position.

And that's the end of the fight!
Dickweed wins on points by 18 to 4.

 

Event: Quick Fight Championship     
Date:   May 26, 2017
#R1#
Dickweed shoots in for a takedown. "I don't think so" says Tupper V as he avoids it easily.
Tupper V lets it all go there with a big combo counter but none of the punches connected.
Jab, cross, leg kick. Nice combination by Tupper V!
Tupper V misses with a hook #TD#
and Dickweed counters with a nice double leg into half guard.
Dickweed winds up and cracks Tupper V with a swinging punch to the side of the head.
Tupper V is looking to regain full guard. Not this time though. #SUB#
Dickweed is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Tupper V sees it coming and defends easily.
Dickweed wants to pass to mount but Tupper V is defending the position.
Dickweed is keeping good posture, landing some ground and pound.
Dickweed has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.#SUB#
Dickweed is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Tupper V sees it coming and defends easily.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Dickweed missing with some ground and pound from the half guard.
This has been an exciting period of action!
Tupper V is looking for a sweep. Dickweed is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.#T1#
Tupper V keeping his head moving to avoid the ground and pound. #SUB#
Dickweed is working for a submission of some sort.
Tupper V wants to control but Dickweed is keeping busy. #SUB#
Dickweed is looking for a kimura. It's going to be difficult to finish that from half guard though and Tupper V defends it well.
Tupper V blocking the ground and pound attempt from Dickweed.
The two fighters exchange a few words. I couldn't hear what they were saying but maybe it's more fun if you make it up yourself. Dickweed connects with a nice short shot to Tupper V's temple. #SUB#
Dickweed has hold of the far side arm. He's working for the Kimura, can Tupper V defend it? Dickweed steps over the head and cranks it - Tupper V is tapping out! That was textbook stuff right there - nice submission victory for Dickweed!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:48 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Kimura). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: Quick Fight Championship     
Date:   Apr 11, 2017
#R1#
Khabilov tries to land a body kick#TD#
and Dickweed counters with a nice shoot takedown that brings the fighters to the ground.
Khabilov is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Khabilov has momentary wrist control but Dickweed slips an elbow through the middle.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed is sitting in guard, working some ground and pound.
Dickweed passes easily into side control. Nice work.
Dickweed landing a few strikes.
Dickweed passes to full mount! That's big trouble for Khabilov!
Dickweed pausing momentarily but resumes with a couple of decent strikes that do a bit of damage.#ROC#
Khabilov is rocked!
This has been an exciting period of action!
A big strike lands for Dickweed! That's really hurt Khabilov and he's turned his back - Dickweed keeps firing away and the ref dives in to stop the fight! Dickweed jumps to his feet to celebrate the victory!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:56 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: Quick Fight Championship     
Date:   Mar 28, 2017
#R1#
Gracie will have to do better than that with his takedown attempts.
Dickweed drops down looking for a counter takedown but Gracie sprawls and moves away.
Dickweed looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.#TD#
Dickweed closes the distance and looks for a trip takedown... aaaand he's got it - Dickweed lands in his opponent's guard.
Gracie looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Dickweed postures up.
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Gracie is retaining full guard.
Dickweed being controlled here momentarily.
Dickweed pushing down on Gracie 's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed is looking to pass the guard... He's managed it - he's now in full mount!
Dickweed putting on the heat here with some good ground and pound!
Gracie is desperately trying to improve his position but Dickweed has a good base and remains in mount.
Gracie controls the position.#T1#
Dickweed lands a big shot there that rocks Gracie but he's holding on and managing to survive for now.
Dickweed cracks Gracie with a nasty head shot there - the crowd let out an audible gasp there, as the noise reverberated around the arena.
Gracie is working to get back to half guard.
Dickweed lands with some strikes.
Gracie takes a big shot to the dome and his eyes have rolled back in his head! Dickweed's killer instinct has kicked in as he finishes the fight with more strikes. Impressive finish.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:43 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Professor Dickweed!

 

Event: TWGC 15 (265+lbs, D1): New York Qualifier - Round 1     
Date:   Mar 04, 2017

Coming up we have a super heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed and Sharky Shark. Shark has chosen Stand My Ground as his entrance music. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!




175 cm
22 yrs
225 lbs



197 cm
32 yrs
217 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the super heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 0 wins and 2 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Amsterdam, with a TWGC record of 0 wins and 0 losses; Sharky Shark!
The judges for this bout are Alyssa Summers, Joseph Jones and Reed Andrews.


Let's get this grappling contest under way! Who will be victorious?
Dickweed shoots in but doesn't get the takedown

and Shark counters by clinching up.
Shark is working for a takedown up against the cage. He can't get it on this occasion though.
Dickweed gets underhooks to prevent Shark's takedown attempt.
Dickweed gets underhooks to prevent Shark's takedown attempt.
Professor Dickweed has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Sharky Shark.

Shark lands a nice trip takedown into half guard.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Dickweed (0) vs (2) Shark
Shark not doing much here.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed is looking to get full guard. It looks like he might be successful but at the last minute Shark jumps into side control!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (0) vs (5) Shark
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Dickweed is looking to slip a leg under and get half guard but Shark is one step ahead and moves to full mount!
Score +2 for reaching mount: Dickweed (0) vs (7) Shark

That's one minute gone in the round.
Shark controlling from the full mount.
Dickweed is in all sorts of trouble here.
Dickweed wants to hold on but Shark pushes him away.
Dickweed has been talking about how he's improved his wrestling in the run up to the fight so let's see if that's enough to sway the balance.
Shark prevents Dickweed from getting the reversal.
Shark controlling from mount.
Dickweed is squirming around, avoiding Shark's attempts to control the action.
Dickweed tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Dickweed is working hard here to advance position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed tries to hold on but Shark pushes him away.
Dickweed really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Shark looking to control but Dickweed is working nicely, looking to advance position himself.
Dickweed tries to hold on but Shark pushes him away.
Dickweed is wriggling around trying to escape.
Dickweed is writhing around trying to get back to his feet.
Dickweed really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Shark tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed can't escape the position.
Shark looking to control and managing it successfully.
Dickweed might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
Dickweed is desperately trying to improve his position but Shark has a good base and remains in mount.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Shark content just to control the position here.
Dickweed keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Dickweed slips a leg in and gets back to half guard.
Dickweed wants to improve his position but Shark is controlling well.
Dickweed trying to hold on to Shark's head to control him but Shark postures up.
Shark stalling.
Dickweed wants to get back to full guard.
Shark is thwarting Dickweed's attempts to control the position.
Shark prevents Dickweed from improving his position.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Shark content to sit in half guard and control for a moment.
Dickweed trying to control from the bottom.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep. Shark is wise to his cunning plan and keeps the top position.
Dickweed is doing well to control the position and prevent Shark from advancing to side control.
Dickweed is trying to maintain the position but Shark is very close to passing his half guard.
Shark takes a deep breath and rests his weight momentarily on top of his opponent, to control the position.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to control here.
Dickweed moves into full guard.
Dickweed looking to sweep here. No luck so far.
Shark must be cautious of submissions here, given that his opponent has the superior Jiu Jitsu.
Dickweed looking to control but Shark passes into half guard.
Dickweed controlling the leg, holding on to half guard.
Dickweed is looking to improve his position.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Shark has freed up his trapped foot and advances to mount.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (0) vs (10) Shark
Dickweed can't escape the position.
Dickweed reaches up to try and control the position but Shark seems to have an arm triangle now! Uh oh! Dickweed rolls and tries to escape and now Shark has his back!
Score +3 for taking back: Dickweed (0) vs (13) Shark
Shark controlling well, preventing Dickweed from escaping the position.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Shark is not going to allow Dickweed to sit and survive in this position.
Dickweed turns into Shark and is now in his guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (13) Shark
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Shark is retaining full guard.
Dickweed passes Shark's left leg - he's now in half guard.
Dickweed is looking to pass Shark's guard but actually Shark recovers to full guard.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard.
Shark looking to hit a scissor sweep but Dickweed is one step ahead there.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Shark keeping full guard, as Dickweed tries to pass.
Dickweed stopping the sweep attempt from Shark.
Shark is persisting with the attempt to improve his position.
Dickweed pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Shark is keeping the position for now.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Shark is avoiding any damage by keeping wrist control.
Shark keeping moving, preventing Dickweed from controlling successfully.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard. He's being very persistent here but Shark manages to land a sweep and now he's on top!
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (2) vs (15) Shark
Shark won't allow Dickweed to sweep him here.

Dickweed isolates an arm and boxes in a triangle. Shark stacks Dickweed on his neck as he steps over and passes to the side. He's now in a much more dominant position where he can look to do some serious damage. Nice move by Shark!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (2) vs (18) Shark
Dickweed is trying to improve his position.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed struggling a bit here.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is moving his hips around well on the bottom and has managed to get back to half guard.
Dickweed gets full guard.
Dickweed looking to control.
Dickweed seems keen to control Shark's posture.

Dickweed looking for submissions from the bottom but instead Shark passes into side control.
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (2) vs (21) Shark
Dickweed tries to control but Shark manages to take his back.
Score +3 for taking back: Dickweed (2) vs (24) Shark
Shark controlling well, preventing Dickweed from escaping the position.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is very frustrated here, being controlled quite effectively by Shark.
Shark keeps control of the position as Dickweed tries to break free.
Shark keeps control of the position easily here as Dickweed tries to buck him off.
Dickweed is trying to break free.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed turns into Shark and is now in his guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (4) vs (24) Shark
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Shark swivels though and keeps the full guard.

And that's the end of the fight!
Shark wins on points by 24 to 4.
A relieved looking Sharky Shark thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.

 

Event: TWGC 14 (265lbs, D1): Montreal Qualifier - Round 1     
Date:   Dec 21, 2016

Coming up we have a heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between James Raban and Professor Dickweed. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!




200 cm
37 yrs
270 lbs



175 cm
21 yrs
225 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of St Petersburg, with a TWGC record of 1 wins and 1 losses; James Raban! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 0 wins and 1 losses; Professor Dickweed!
The judges for this bout are William Peck, Elvis Blanc and Yves DeLean.


The official calls the fighters to the middle and the contest is under way.

Dickweed looking for a takedown here - he's got it.
Score +2 for takedown into guard / half guard: Raban (0) vs (2) Dickweed
Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.

Raban is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Dickweed defends well.
Raban manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Dickweed manages to get himself to full guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Raban (2) vs (2) Dickweed
Raban is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
Raban wants to pass the guard but Dickweed is keeping the position.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Dickweed tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Raban wants to control from the top but Dickweed keeps moving.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Raban's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Raban (2) vs (4) Dickweed
Dickweed stopping the sweep attempt from Raban.
Raban trying to control the position here.
Dickweed stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. Raban swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Dickweed is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
Raban is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Dickweed engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Raban manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. Dickweed manages to get himself to full guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Raban (4) vs (4) Dickweed
Dickweed looking to hit a scissor sweep but Raban is one step ahead there.
Our spies down at at Hey Steves Fight Shack inform us that Dickweed has really been working on his submissions in the buildup to this fight. Will it pay off?
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Raban from controlling successfully.
Raban engaging in some classic timewasting tactics.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to control the position.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Raban from controlling successfully.
Raban not doing a lot at the moment. He'll have to show some more aggression or the fight will get stood up.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.

Dickweed is looking for a triangle but Raban pushes his legs off easily.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Raban postures up.
Raban trying to control but Dickweed is working from the bottom.
Dickweed not looking particularly offensive just at the moment.
Dickweed being controlled here, momentarily.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Raban from controlling successfully.

Dickweed looking for a guillotine here but Raban defends easily.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Raban controls the pace.
Dickweed is controlling Raban's posture.
Raban pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Dickweed is keeping the position for now.
Dickweed is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
Raban stays in close to Dickweed's body and controls the position.
Dickweed keeping full guard, as Raban tries to pass.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Raban postures up.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Raban passes Dickweed's left leg - he's now in half guard.
Raban trying to mount his opponent but Dickweed defends it.
Raban passes into side control, despite Dickweed's attempt to control the position.
Score +3 for passing guard: Raban (7) vs (4) Dickweed
Dickweed is looking to regain half guard here but Raban keeps moving and retains side control.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed seems a little lost for a moment, as Raban dominates the positioning.
Dickweed is trying to improve his position.

Raban thinks about going for a far side armbar but bails out and retains the dominant position instead.
Who's going to make the next move?
Dickweed is looking to reverse the position.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Raban wants to control but Dickweed is keeping him busy.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep.
Raban controls the position.
Raban is looking to take a break and control but Dickweed is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Raban will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.
Dickweed is looking to regain half guard here but Raban keeps moving and retains side control.
Raban wants to control but Dickweed is keeping him busy.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Raban slows the pace down.
Raban working away.
Raban is looking to take a break and control but Dickweed is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Raban taking a breather here.

Raban tries for a kimura. Not really close to a finish though.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed manages to get back to half guard.
Raban is figuring out what he wants to do next.
Dickweed regains full guard. Nicely done.
Raban content to stall in guard here.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Raban from controlling successfully.
Dickweed looking to sweep here. No luck so far.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Raban's corner is telling him to maintain position.
Dickweed is avoiding any damage by keeping wrist control.
Dickweed trying to keep a closed guard but Raban is proving a slippery customer.
Raban trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Raban controlling from the top position.
Dickweed keeping moving, preventing Raban from controlling successfully.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed controls Raban momentarily but Raban frees himself.
Raban showing good wrestling skills to control the position.
Dickweed tries to land a sweep but no joy.
Raban slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
Raban forces his way into half guard.
Raban passes the half guard and he's now in mount! Big trouble for Dickweed!
Score +3 for passing guard: Raban (10) vs (4) Dickweed

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Raban controlling his opponent.
Dickweed is wriggling around trying to escape.
Raban with some aggressive grappling here, looking for the finish.
Dickweed is desperately trying to improve his position but Raban has a good base and remains in mount.
Raban wants to take Dickweed's back here but Dickweed is holding on to an arm, himself looking to escape.
Raban tries to control but Dickweed wriggling away.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is looking to get to half guard.
Dickweed sneaks a leg back under and regains half guard and is working straight away to try and get back to guard. He hasn't managed just yet though.

Raban is sneakily working for an arm triangle but Dickweed sees it coming and defends easily.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Raban wants to pass the guard but Dickweed is defending well.
Raban seems very keen to just sit and control from half guard but Dickweed does not like that idea so much and is remaining active off his back.

And that's the end of the fight!
Raban takes the fight on points by 10 to 4.
In his post fight interview, James Raban started talking himself up. Luckily his charisma kept the crowd on side and gave him a good reception.

 

Event: TWGC 11 (265+lbs, D2): Las Vegas Qualifier - Round 1     
Date:   May 18, 2016

Coming up we have a super heavyweight Tycoon World Grappling Championship rules bout between Professor Dickweed and Bhaktiyar Singh Khilji. Fingers crossed for an exciting fight - I'm sure both fighters are looking for a nice under the table bonus!




175 cm
18 yrs
225 lbs



200 cm
38 yrs
238 lbs


This TWGC bout is 1 fifteen minute round in the super heavyweight division. Introducing today's competitors. In the red corner, competing out of Montreal, with a TWGC record of 0 wins and 0 losses; Professor Dickweed! And in the blue corner, fighting out of Las Vegas, with a TWGC record of 0 wins and 0 losses; Bhaktiyar Singh Khilji!
The judges for this bout are Gwen Towbar, Daniel Franklin and Frank Dennis.


Let's get this grappling contest under way! Who will be victorious?

Singh Khilji clinches up with Dickweed and pushes him back against the cage.
Singh Khilji tries for a takedown but Dickweed manages to get underhooks.
Singh Khilji is trying to work for a single leg takedown but Dickweed pulls him back up using the underhooks.

Singh Khilji pulls guard effortlessly.
Dickweed passes into half guard.
Dickweed wants to pass the guard but Singh Khilji is defending well.
Singh Khilji slips a foot under and gets full guard. Nice work.
Dickweed advances position into side control!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (3) vs (0) Singh Khilji
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Singh Khilji is not content to let Dickweed control the position.

Dickweed swings around for an armbar but Singh Khilji sees it coming a mile off and turns beautifully into Dickweed's guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (3) vs (2) Singh Khilji

That's one minute gone in the round.
Dickweed can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Singh Khilji controls the pace.
Dickweed wants to sweep but no luck.

Dickweed is active off his back here, looking for submissions.
Singh Khilji preventing the sweep.
Dickweed pulls Singh Khilji in close to prevent any damage.
Dickweed trying to control the position.

Singh Khilji got a little sloppy there for a moment and Dickweed has worked his way into a loose triangle - can he finish it?! No, Singh Khilji has managed to get both his arms back between Dickweed's legs - danger averted.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Dickweed is looking for a triangle but Singh Khilji pushes his legs off easily.
Singh Khilji is stalling in the full guard.
Singh Khilji pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Dickweed is keeping the position for now.
Singh Khilji slows down the pace of the fight for a moment. He'll need to remain active if he doesn't want to see the fight stood back up.
Let's hope that Singh Khilji has the urge to step up the pace any second now because for the last 15 or 20 seconds he's just been holding on tight.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Singh Khilji won't allow Dickweed to sweep him here.
Singh Khilji is intent on slowing down the pace of the fight, simply looking to control.
The fighters are starting to get a bit slippery now, which will make submissions a bit more difficult.
Dickweed is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Dickweed can't do much from the bottom at the moment, as Singh Khilji controls the pace.
Singh Khilji advances position into side control!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (3) vs (5) Singh Khilji

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is looking for a sweep.
Dickweed is working hard here to advance position.
You can see the frustration on Dickweed's face as Singh Khilji controls the position.
Singh Khilji's corner are shouting for him to control the position and he seems happy to oblige.
Dickweed is positioning himself to get back to half guard.

That's five minutes gone in the round.
Singh Khilji controlling the position from side mount.
Dickweed tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Dickweed stops Singh Khilji from passing to mount.
Dickweed is looking to slip a leg under and get half guard but Singh Khilji is one step ahead and moves to full mount!
Score +2 for reaching mount: Dickweed (3) vs (7) Singh Khilji
Dickweed really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Singh Khilji controlling his opponent.

That's six minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed is wriggling around trying to escape.
Singh Khilji content just to control the position here.
Singh Khilji fails to take his opponent's back.
Dickweed keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.
Singh Khilji controlling his opponent.
Dickweed tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Singh Khilji tucks in and makes sure he doesn't lose the dominant position.

That's seven minutes gone in the round.
Singh Khilji pushing the pace here, looking to move to his opponents back and work for a finish.
Dickweed tries to get back to half guard but can't.
Dickweed tries to improve his position but instead Singh Khilji has taken his back!
Score +3 for taking back: Dickweed (3) vs (10) Singh Khilji
Dickweed tries to escape the position.
Singh Khilji trying to secure his dominant position for a moment - making sure Dickweed doesn't escape.
Dickweed is really stuck here.

That's eight minutes gone in the round.
Singh Khilji controls the position.
I really don't envy Dickweed right now.
Dickweed might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.
What can Dickweed do to escape this position? He's going to have to figure it out pretty quick if he wants to stay in the fight!
More stalling from Singh Khilji.
Singh Khilji doesn't have the hooks in and Dickweed manages to turn into his guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (5) vs (10) Singh Khilji
Dickweed wants to control from the top but Singh Khilji keeps moving.

That's nine minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Singh Khilji managing to control the position.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Dickweed being controlled here momentarily.

That's ten minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed looking to pass the guard.
Dickweed trying to control the position from guard on top but Singh Khilji is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard but can't manage it just yet.
Singh Khilji pulls Dickweed in to control the position.
Dickweed pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Singh Khilji is keeping the position for now.
Singh Khilji is doing well to control the posture of his opponent and prevent any damage.
Dickweed pressing down on his opponent's thigh, looking to pass guard. Singh Khilji is keeping the position for now.

That's eleven minutes gone in the round.
Singh Khilji looking for a sweep. Not yet Singh Khilji, not yet.
Dickweed tries to free his leg and advance position but Singh Khilji is retaining full guard.
Dickweed trying to pass the guard. He's being very persistent here but Singh Khilji manages to land a sweep and now he's on top!
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (5) vs (12) Singh Khilji
Dickweed is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Dickweed is trying to hold Singh Khilji in close to prevent damage but Singh Khilji has managed to pass into half guard.
Dickweed is working for an escape here. He's hooked one of Singh Khilji's legs and he's managed to sneak out and take Singh Khilji's back!
Score +4 for clean sweep to past guard: Dickweed (9) vs (12) Singh Khilji
Singh Khilji tries to break free.
Singh Khilji trying to control the hands but Dickweed breaks the grip.

That's twelve minutes gone in the round.

Singh Khilji preventing the rear naked choke attempt from Dickweed.

Dickweed looking to break Singh Khilji's wrist control so he can sink in the choke. Singh Khilji remaining controlled and patient though - he really has to keep calm otherwise Dickweed will wrap this one up with the rear naked choke!

Dickweed looking to finish the fight with a rear naked choke. Singh Khilji is controlling Dickweed 's left arm and he spins nicely into guard.
Score +2 for sweep to guard / half guard: Dickweed (9) vs (14) Singh Khilji

Dickweed is looking for a guillotine. You can't force these things though and Singh Khilji defends well.
Singh Khilji pushing down on Dickweed's thigh, trying to pass to half guard. He's managed it... Nice work.

That's thirteen minutes gone in the round.
Dickweed wants to get back to full guard but Singh Khilji has mounted him!
Score +3 for passing guard: Dickweed (9) vs (17) Singh Khilji
Dickweed really trying hard to get back to half guard here.
Dickweed wants to hold on but Singh Khilji pushes him away.
Singh Khilji controlling his opponent.
Dickweed keeping his composure momentarily, calmly looking to get back to half guard.
Dickweed is controlling an arm, preventing Singh Khilji from taking his back. Although keeping him in mount is no better to be honest.
Singh Khilji is still trying to improve position.
Dickweed working to try and regain half guard.

That's fourteen minutes gone in the round.
Singh Khilji sitting in mount, just looking to control for the moment.
Singh Khilji with more of the same as he continues to hold on.
Singh Khilji with some aggressive grappling here, looking for the finish.
Boooooooooooooooooooo!!! God, this has been a terrible round. Come on you two, sort yourselves out!
Dickweed really trying hard to get back to half guard here.

And that's the end of the fight!
Singh Khilji wins on points by 17 to 9.
A pretty intense looking Bhaktiyar Singh Khilji took the opportunity post-fight to ask for a shot at the title.

 

Event: Quick Fight Championship     
Date:   Apr 29, 2016
#R1#
Dickweed takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Dickweed gets his takedown attempt stuffed easily
and Dickweed takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Dickweed fails with a takedown attempt from distance.
Verhoeven swung with a counter right hand that didn't connect.
Verhoeven definitely looks more muscular than last time we saw him fight.
Dickweed takes a jab on the nose. He smiles like he loves it and keeps coming.
Verhoeven cracks Dickweed with a right hand to the side of the head.#ROC#
Dickweed is rocked!
Crack! Verhoeven connects with the perfect overhand right and Dickweed falls face first to the canvas. Timbeeeeeeeer! Beautiful knockout for Verhoeven!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 0:36 of round 1, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Rico Verhoeven!

 

 
 
 
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