PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Dick Army (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Lapu Lapu (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Army kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Vagina Coastguard. Both fighter's entrance songs getting the crowd jumping here.

Army
vs
Lapu

189 cm
30
211 lbs
28 - 14 - 0

188 cm
35
205 lbs
25 - 14 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Granite chin

Good wrestler
World class MT
Good gas tank

Aspire Clothing
Zenith Nutrition (160q/225$)

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 5 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 28 - 14 - 0, fighting out of Sydney, Dick Army!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 25 - 14 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Lapu Lapu!
The judges for this bout are Chad Campbell, John Roberts and Jonathan Paton.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Army uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Lapu.
Army swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Lapu.
Lapu blocks a jab.
Lapu let fly with a counter punch to the body but it didn't land.
Army misses with a left hand
enabling Lapu to counter with a crisp jab.
Lapu tests Army's chin there with a solid looking shot.
Army connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.

It looks like Lapu Lapu has been cut.
Army looks to have improved his striking defense since last time we saw him fight.
Dick Army seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Army misses with a hook.
Army throws a body punch but Lapu moves out of range.
Army bobs and weaves and throws out a fast jab that snaps Lapu's head backwards.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Army tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Lapu manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
Lapu moves out of range as Army strikes.
Lapu throws a hook to the side of Army's head but Army sees it coming and ducks under it beautifully.
Army is looking to counter punch.
A jab lands there for Lapu.
Lapu misses with a left hand
and Army counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Lapu looks more muscular than last time we saw him. He must have been on the weights.
Army throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Lapu ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
A little jabbing left from Lapu on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Army drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.

It looks like Dick Army has been cut.
Army doesn't manage to clinch there - Lapu circles away.
Lapu lands with a good body shot.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Army throws a shot to the body.
Lapu throws a body punch but Army moves out of range.
Army fakes low and throws an overhand right that catches Lapu on the side of the head.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Army misses with a straight right.
Army misses with a hook to the body
and Army takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Lapu lands a nice looking body shot.
Army swings widly with a right hand
and Lapu counters with a nice uppercut.
Army misses with a lunging right hand
and Lapu counters with a right hand to the body.
Army lands with a kick to the ribs.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Lapu misses with an uppercut.
Army lands a body shot.
Lapu scores with a jab to the jaw.
Army misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Lapu.
Lapu swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.

Army rushes Lapu and presses him up against the cage.
Lapu blocks a body shot from Army.

Lapu pushes off and circles away, back to the middle of the mat.
Army misses with an uppercut. Lapu saw that one coming.
Lapu looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Army explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
A decent looking cross lands there for Lapu.
Lapu moves out of range of the body kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Army misses with a hook.
Lapu just misses with a punch to the body.
An attempted straight right counter from Army misses the target.
Army scores with a spinning back kick!
Army swings widly with a right hand
enabling Lapu to counter with a crisp jab.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Lapu blocks a jab.
Lapu on the wrong end of a nice hook.
A slow jab from Lapu misses its intended target.
A big left from Army misses.
Army gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Dick Army will probably get the nod.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

Army fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Lapu manages to avoid it.
Army is looking to chop away at Lapu's legs.
Army throws a right hand that misses
and Lapu counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Army jabs. That one connects to the head of his opponent.
Nice jab there from Lapu.
Army throws a poor cross that misses
enabling Lapu to counter with a crisp jab.
A punch combination from Army misses.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Lapu looks to score with a jab to the body but Army is just out of range.
Army misses with a body shot
letting Lapu counter with a right hand.
Army misses with a head kick.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Army misses the body punch
and Lapu counters with a straight right hand.
Army explodes with a nice body kick and back out of range. Nice work.
Lapu blocks a jab.
Lapu now looks to counter with a shot at the body.
Army misses with a wild body shot.
A little jabbing left from Lapu on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Lapu pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Army throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Lapu counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Army thinking.
A nice combination there by Army.
A jab lands there for Lapu.
Army misses with a lunging right hand
enabling Lapu to counter with a crisp jab.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lapu lands a nice shot that snaps Army's head back.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Lapu takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Lapu lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Army tries to clinch up against the cage, rushing in to close the distance. Lapu manages to break the clinch and circles back to the middle of the mat.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Lapu! But no joy.
Lapu fakes a couple of low kicks, before throwing one on the third attempt. It connects and Army has to reset his feet before getting ready to engage.
Army throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
A countering left hand to the body from Lapu misses.
Lapu throws a body punch but Army moves out of range.
Army misses with a head kick.
Army dips down and scores with a jab to the body.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Army throws a lazy body kick
and Lapu counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Army tries to clinch but Lapu is having none of it.
Army scores with a reasonable looking shot to the body. Lapu doesn't seem bothered though.
Army throws a body shot but no joy.
Army throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
A countering left hand to the body from Lapu misses.
Army looks to throw a body kick
and Lapu connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
Army closes the distance and lands a one-two.

That has opened up Lapu Lapu's cut even more.
Army throws a body punch but Lapu moves out of range.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Army misses with a body shot.
Lapu throws out a counter right but Army avoids it with no problem.
Army walks into a straight right hand from Lapu.
Army throws a body kick that misses.
Army ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Lapu takes a shot to the nose. Hopefully that hasn't broken it.
Army takes a swing at Lapu's ribcage but misses.
Nice uppercut lands for Army. That snapped Lapu's head back.
Army looks like he's developed a pretty tasty lump over his left eye. He'll need to avoid taking much more damage to that.
Army lunges in with an uppercut that skims his opponent's chin.
Lapu is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Army.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Dick Army will probably get the nod.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

The fighters circling - Army throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Army misses with an attempted mid kick.
A countering left hand to the body from Lapu misses.
Army is looking to land body kicks.
Army throws a couple of head shots and lands with the final one - a decent hook, which struck Lapu on the side of the head.
Army goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Lapu doesn't fully commit to the body shot counter.
Lapu walks into a stiff left hand from Army.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Army with a jab.

The cut above Lapu Lapu's eye is starting to cause him problems now.
Army throws a feint and then finishes with a kick to the body.
Army throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Army lands a slapping body shot.
Army with a jab.
Army swings away with a body shot that misses
and Lapu counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Army thinking.
Army just misses with a punch to the body.
Lapu is clearly trying to counter these attacks from Army with a body shot.
Army throws a poor cross that misses
and Lapu counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Army throws a right hand that misses
and Lapu counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Army throws a lazy uppercut
enabling Lapu to counter with a crisp jab.
Army throws the kick towards the body but Lapu avoids it.
Lapu rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Army counters with a straight right hand.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A looping hook to the body misses from Army. Lapu does a little dance to reset his feet.
Army lands a nice hook to Lapu's body. Lapu takes it in his stride and looks to land his own strikes.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
A nice leg kick lands there from Lapu.
Army throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Army throws a big shot that misses.
Army fails in his attempt to clinch.
Army misses with a lunging right hand
and Lapu makes him pay by landing a nice hook to the body before moving out of range.
Lapu works the jab nicely.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Army throws an ugly left hook that misses
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
Nice body punch from Lapu.
Nice body punch from Army.
Army tries to clinch but Lapu moves away
and Lapu counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
Lapu throws a leg kick that is checked
and Army cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Lapu misses with a jab to the body
and Army counters with a left to the body.
Army slips a jab from Lapu.
Army throws an ugly left hook that misses
letting Lapu counter with a right hand.
Army connects with a body shot.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
A jab from Lapu misses.
It looked like Army wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Lapu throws a looping overhand right but Army ducks down to avoid it.
Army connects with a body shot that sends Lapu's belly button to the back.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!
Army throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
Lapu takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Army scores with a head kick.

Lapu Lapu's cut is absolute horrible now. This looks like something out of a horror film with blood covering both fighters.
Army throws a leg kick but he was too far away and it doesn't land.
Lapu let fly with a counter punch to the body but it didn't land.
Army swings and misses with a shot to the body
and Army takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Dick Army clearly takes that round.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
OK. That's time! The bell goes and we're back to the action.

A slapping body kick lands there for Army.
Army throws a good cross that connects.
Army tries to clinch but Lapu moves away
and Lapu counters with a lovely shot to the body.
Army throws a shot from downtown. Lapu moves away and avoids it.
Army falls off balance throwing a combination
and Lapu counters with a nice body shot.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Army goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
A nice side step and Lapu releases a counter shot to the body, but it doesn't find it's home.
Army digs a good body shot into Lapu's ribs.
Army rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Lapu counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Dick Army is winning the standup battle so far.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Army throws a left and a right that both miss
and Lapu counters with a nice leg kick.
Army throws an off balance right hand
and Lapu counters with a crisp hook to the side of the head.
Army lands a right hook to the body.

Army has taken the fight to the clinch.
Army pushes off an throws an elbow but Lapu leans to the side and avoids it. We're back to clinching against the cage.
Army lands a body punch.
Army struggles to land a body shot inside as Lapu controls his hands.
Army lands a hook to the side of the head.
Army goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Lapu misses with a short punch on the inside.
Army misses with a punch to the body.
Lapu tried to land a shot to the body but connects with Army's elbow.
Lapu lands punches inside but they're not really causing much damage.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Lapu lands a body shot in the clinch.
It's got to the stage where if one of these guys blows hard enough, the other might fall over.
Army tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage.
Army throws a punch but it's blocked by Lapu.
Army blocks an uppercut.
Army's head jolts backwards as he takes an uppercut right on the button!
This has been an exciting period of action!
Lapu prevents a body shot from Army.

Army escapes the clinch and we're back to striking.
Army slips in close and lands a nice hook before moving back out of range.
Army takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
A cross from Lapu lands.
A shot to the liver by Army. Beautiful body shot.
Lapu throws a leg kick but Army sees it coming and checks it nicely.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Army throws a poor cross that misses
enabling Lapu to counter with a crisp jab.
Army ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Lapu moves away.
Lapu lands a glancing blow to the side of Army's head.
Army misses with a left hand
and Lapu counters with a shot to the ribs. That looked like it hurt.
A big left from Army misses.
Lapu swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Lapu lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.
Army falls off balance throwing a combination
and Lapu makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Army goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
A little jabbing left from Lapu on the counter but it doesn't find it's target.
Army tries a head kick but it misses.
Lapu throws out a counter right but Army avoids it with no problem.
Army scores with a punch to the gut of his opponent.
Army misses with a wild body shot.
Lapu appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Lapu throws a hook but Army avoids it easily.
A quick step to the side and Army tries to counter with a shot to the body but it doesn't connect.
Army wants to clinch.
Lapu looks like he wants to counter punch here.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

A close fourth round but Lapu Lapu will probably get the nod - 10:9.
Both fighters have cut men working on them during the interval.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action. This is the final round!

Army lands with a right hand.
Army throws a looping overhand right but Lapu ducks down to avoid it.
Lapu replies with a solid counter kick to the body but Army blocks it well.
Army throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Army swings for the body but Lapu moves out of range.
Lapu is clearly trying to counter these attacks from Army with a body shot.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Army tries to land a front kick but Lapu steps back. That was a bit too telegraphed.
Lapu looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Army is looking to clinch.
And Lapu responds with a good body kick, but Army manages to step out the way in time.
Lapu moves out of range of the body kick from Army.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Lapu swings wildly with a hook that is half blocked by Army.
Lapu blocks the body kick.
Army wants to clinch.
Lapu changes levels and scores with a jab to the body.
Lapu Lapu has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Army looks to throw a body kick
and Lapu counters with a left to the body.
Lapu defending well as Army loads up on a big left hand.
Lapu throws out a counter right but Army avoids it with no problem.
Army swings for the body but Lapu moves out of range.
A nice side step and Lapu releases a counter shot to the body, but it doesn't find it's home.
Army throws a body kick but he was well out of range there.
Army pulls out of a head kick attempt.
And an attempted straight right on the counter from Lapu! But no joy.
Army tries to grapple but his opponent circles
and Lapu counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Army thinking.
Army missing with a left hand there. Lapu was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Lapu looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Dick Army is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A jab from Army misses.
Lapu misses with an uppercut
and Lapu takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Lapu gets cracked there but stands up to it.
Lapu rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Army cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Army misses with a body shot
and Lapu counters with a stiff right hand.
Army throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Lapu connects with a right hand. Army shakes it off.
Army lands with an uppercut that bounces Lapu off the cage and back into range.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Army throws a body punch but Lapu moves out of range.
Army walks into a stiff left hand from Lapu.
Army cracks Lapu with a nice right hand that draws applause from the crowd.
Army misses with a body kick.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Army throws a left and a right that both miss
and Army takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
Army defending well as Lapu loads up on a big left hand.
The crowd thankful this round is nearly over.
Army ducks down and throws a hook to the body.
Army throws a left and a right that both miss
and Lapu counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Dick Army.
Well Army has outscored his opponent in every aspect of the fight today. Only a scarily incompetent judge or two will keep him from a well deserved win... Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 5 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Chad Campbell scores the fight 49:46
Judge John Roberts scores the fight 49:46
Judge Jonathan Paton scores the fight 49:46

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Dick Army!
Our winner, Dick Army, made sure he spent some time buttering up the crowd during his post fight interview, which will no doubt bring him a few more fans.