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PBP Commentary |
Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Tommy Thundercunt (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Voljin Ulfzaar (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Thundercunt comes to the cage accompanied by You are a Cunt. Voljin Ulfzaar told me before the fight that he's been watching a lot of DVDs so let's see if that helps him in this one! I can't wait to find out!
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197 cm
26
260 lbs
15 - 0 - 0 |
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193 cm
27
270 lbs
19 - 3 - 0 |
Decent wrestler
Great elbows
Cardio machine |
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BJJ White Belt
Excellent MT
Heavy handed |
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Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division. Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner. With a record of
15 - 0 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Tommy Thundercunt! And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner. With a record of
19 - 3 - 0, fighting out of The Island, Voljin Ulfzaar! The judges for this bout are Winston Alpacca, Peter Branson and David Hoff.
The bell rings for round one and we are underway! Thundercunt throws a lazy uppercut
and Ulfzaar counters with a lovely shot to the body. Ulfzaar turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick. Thundercunt misses with a jab to the body
and Ulfzaar counters with a slapping leg kick. Ulfzaar looks for the body kick but Thundercunt saw that one coming. Thundercunt throws the left hand but Ulfzaar avoids the punch easily. Ulfzaar misses with a low kick.
Ulfzaar misses with a shot to the body and Thundercunt counters by clinching up. Ulfzaar fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Thundercunt misses with a body punch.
Thundercunt misses with a hook to the ribs.
Thundercunt throws a nice elbow but it doesn't land.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up. Thundercunt lands a hook to the side of the head. Ulfzaar lands a shoulder strike. Thundercunt softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage. Ulfzaar doesn't land with the attempted body shot.
Ulfzaar blocks an uppercut.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show! Thundercunt lands a left hand.
Ulfzaar prevents a body shot from Thundercunt.
That's one minute gone in the round. Ulfzaar avoids the elbow strike from Thundercunt, against the cage.
Ulfzaar misses with a punch to the body.
A short right hand to the side of the head by Thundercunt. Ulfzaar misses with some punches.
Thundercunt fails to land with a short punch on the inside.
Ulfzaar misses with a hook to the ribs.
A nice right hand lands inside from Ulfzaar. Thundercunt blocks a body shot from Ulfzaar. Ulfzaar lands a hook to the side of the head. Ulfzaar lands a shoulder strike that jolts his opponent's head backwards. A head punch blocked on the inside by Thundercunt. Thundercunt throws a head punch that misses. Thundercunt blocking some punches.
Ulfzaar goes for a body shot but it's blocked.
Thundercunt lands a nice elbow.
It looks like Voljin Ulfzaar has been cut. Thundercunt lands with a right to the head. A left hand lands to the body for Thundercunt.
A short right from Thundercunt on the inside. This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff! Ulfzaar blocks an uppercut.
Both guys are working to get underhooks. Ulfzaar misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Thundercunt softening up his opponent with strikes, against the cage.
That's two minutes gone in the round. An uppercut to the body lands inside from Ulfzaar. Thundercunt prevents a body shot from Ulfzaar. A real battle for position is taking place between these two warriors. A head punch on the inside from Thundercunt fails to land. Thundercunt blocking some punches.
Thundercunt makes some space for himself and lands an uppercut. Thundercunt blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Ulfzaar tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage. A head punch on the inside from Thundercunt fails to land. Ulfzaar tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage. Thundercunt is working hard here but doesn't seem to be able to control effectively, up against the cage. Ulfzaar tries a shoulder strike but it doesn't do any damage. Ulfzaar misses with the head strike.
Thundercunt blocking some punches.
Thundercunt presses Ulfzaar against the cage and delivers a mid-strength body shot. Thundercunt throws a blind hook that connects with the side of Ulfzaars head. Ulfzaar has a couple of punches blocked by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt pushes Ulfzaar back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head. A bit of stalling here from Thundercunt.
That's three minutes gone in the round. Ulfzaar swings away with an uppercut that misses.
Ulfzaar misses with a punch on the inside.
Thundercunt misses with a punch on the inside.
Ulfzaar misses with a hook from the clinch. Thundercunt blocking some punches.
Thundercunt working on landing some head shots here - that one got through nicely. Ulfzaar avoids a wild elbow strike from Thundercunt. Ulfzaar misses with a hook from the clinch. Thundercunt blocks a body shot from Ulfzaar. Ulfzaar has a couple of punches blocked by Thundercunt.
Ulfzaar blocks an elbow strike from Thundercunt.
Thundercunt blocks a punch to the side of the head.
Thundercunt lands a shoulder strike. Thundercunt misses with a shot to the kidneys.
Ulfzaar throws a punch but it's blocked by Thundercunt. A right hand to the body from Thundercunt.
A nice left hand lands by Thundercunt.
Thundercunt scores with a hook to the body. Ulfzaar looks winded! Thundercunt misses with a hook to the ribs.
Thundercunt lands with a left to the head. Still in the clinch, Thundercunt scores with a nice short uppercut.
That's four minutes gone in the round. The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here. Thundercunt lands a short shot on the inside that snaps the head of Ulfzaar backwards. A nice right hand lands inside from Thundercunt. A right hook to the body lands for Thundercunt.
Thundercunt lands with a right to the head. A quick uppercut on the inside from Thundercunt. Thundercunt lands a body shot in the clinch.
Thundercunt lands a body punch. Thundercunt lands with a light punch inside. Thundercunt throws a big uppercut that drops Ulfzaar! More strikes from Thundercunt and the referee jumps in to stop the fight! Ulfzaar lies dazed against the cage as Thundercunt celebrates with his cornermen!
Ladies and gentlemen, after 4:32 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Tommy Thundercunt! During a confident post fight interview, Tommy Thundercunt thanked all his fans. He seemed very genuine when describing how motivated his fans keep him.
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S |
C
A |
G |
S |
C
B |
G |
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S |
C |
G |
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energy
A | B |
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hype
A | B |
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pop
A | B |
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mgr
A | B |
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FIGHT
RATING
60% |
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