PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a bantamweight MMA rules bout between Albert Anastasia (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Rectal Porridge (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Anastasia comes to the cage accompanied by Cold As Ice. Porridge comes into a darkened arena with his song building. Public Image kicks in, the lights come on and the crowd goes wild! What a showman! Albert Anastasia has the edge in experience - let's see if he can make that count tonight.

Anastasia
vs
Porridge

183 cm
36
148 lbs
19 - 13 - 0

170 cm
23
145 lbs
3 - 0 - 0

Good wrestling
Solid boxing
Very strong

Powerful takedowns
Excellent MT
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the bantamweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 19 - 13 - 0, fighting out of Tokyo, Albert Anastasia!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 3 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Rectal Porridge!
The judges for this bout are Paulsen Ambrosius, Patrick Alders and Saam Ante.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Anastasia takes a punch to the jaw and another one to the bread basket.
Porridge wants to clinch.

Anastasia scores with a nice takedown into half guard. Let's see what he's got on the ground.

Porridge actively working from the bottom here.
Anastasia is keen to just control but Porridge is a slippery customer.
Anastasia with the ground and pound but Porridge uses the opportunity to regain guard.

Anastasia avoids a guillotine attempt easily.
Anastasia really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Anastasia cracks Porridge with a solid left hand.
Anastasia throwing elbows and punches but not connecting, as Porridge works some decent striking defense from the bottom.
Anastasia landing some decent shots from guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Porridge looking for submissions from the bottom but instead Anastasia passes into side control.
Anastasia is looking to take a break and control but Porridge is keeping him honest, looking to work from the bottom.
Porridge is positioning himself to get back to half guard.
Porridge is trying to get back to half guard. He's pushing on Anastasia's leg. He's managed it. Nice work.
Anastasia prevents Porridge from improving his position.

Porridge looking for submissions from an awkward position here.

That's two minutes gone in the round.

Porridge is looking to sinch up a guillotine here but Anastasia pulls his head out easily.
Anastasia prevents Porridge from improving his position.
Anastasia trying to control the action but Porridge is working from the bottom.
Porridge moves into full guard.
Porridge looking for a sweep. Not yet Porridge, not yet.
Anastasia working some strikes from top position.
Anastasia working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
Anastasia knows he needs to get back to his feet asap. He's simply no match for Porridge on the ground.
Anastasia looking to pass the guard.
Anastasia will need to keep those long limbs tucked in whilst he's on the ground, to prevent any submissions.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Porridge trying to strike off his back.
Porridge is controlling Anastasia's posture.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Porridge keeping full guard, as Anastasia tries to pass.

Porridge working from the bottom, still in full guard. He's managed to get a loose triangle. Anastasia doesn't seem to be doing much to defend here, obviously he feels comfortable in the position. Oh but Porridge is tightening it up a little... Anastasia has to be careful here... He's got his foot tucked under now, this looks tight! Anastasia reacted too slowly and this one could be over in a matter of seconds! YES! Anastasia taps out! Nice BJJ there by Porridge!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:42 of round 1, we have a winner by way of Submission (Triangle Choke). Rectal Porridge!
A relieved looking Rectal Porridge thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.