PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Charlie Luciano (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Eyeonly Fuckwell (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Luciano's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, The Mechanic. Fuckwell is bobbing his head along to his entrance song: call to prayer. Over to our ring announcer for the fighter introductions!

Luciano
vs
Fuckwell

194 cm
37
191 lbs
38 - 20 - 0

191 cm
37
194 lbs
24 - 16 - 1

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Fast

Museum of Monsters & Madmen

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 38 - 20 - 0, fighting out of Montreal, Charlie Luciano!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 24 - 16 - 1, fighting out of London, Eyeonly Fuckwell!
The judges for this bout are Gregory Folan, Trevor Gratis and Alec Ball.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Luciano chopping away at his opponent's legs.
Fuckwell connects with a jab.
Fuckwell throws a hook but Luciano blocks it.
Fuckwell lands with a straight right. Luciano didn't see that one coming.
Luciano throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Fuckwell throws out a counter right but Luciano avoids it with no problem.
Luciano scoring well with a low kick there.
Fuckwell looks to land a combination but Luciano avoids it well.
Luciano scores with a hook.
Luciano throws a body punch but Fuckwell moves out of range.
A head kick misses from Fuckwell.
Luciano takes a body punch that cleary hurt but he's trying not to show any weakness.
Fuckwell scores with a hook.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Fuckwell throws a nice hook to the body that draws an oooh from the crowd.
Luciano dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Fuckwell. That did some damage!
Fuckwell missing with a left hand there. Luciano was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Fuckwell throws a big shot that misses.
Fuckwell misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Luciano.
Luciano lands a pitter patter jab to the forehead of his opponent.

It looks like Eyeonly Fuckwell has been cut.

That's one minute gone in the round.
A telegraphed right hand from Fuckwell misses the target.
Luciano scores with a sloppy punch to the body. Not much technique there but it did the business.
A swing and a miss from Luciano.
Fuckwell rushes in with a sloppy looking punch
and Luciano counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Fuckwell throws a right hand that Luciano ducks under and follows up with a left that Luciano also avoids with ease.
Fuckwell moves away from the strike by Luciano.
Luciano scores with a jab to the head.
Fuckwell throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Luciano sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Luciano half committed to a counter leg kick.
We've been informed that Fuckwell has been sparring a lot of Muay Thai in the buildup to this fight so let's see if that has an impact on the result.
Nice body kick from Luciano.
Fuckwell misses with a jab and misses with a cross straight after too.
Fuckwell takes an uppercut right on the button but keeps his composure.
Luciano listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Luciano misses with a hook.
Luciano throws a lazy uppercut
and Fuckwell counters with a nice jab to the body that keeps Luciano thinking.
Luciano lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Fuckwell at a distance.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
A telegraphed right hand from Fuckwell misses the target.
Luciano avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
Fuckwell bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Luciano swings for the body but Fuckwell moves out of range.
Luciano throws a quick inside leg kick.
Fuckwell chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Luciano can pounce on him.
Fuckwell pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Eyeonly Fuckwell seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Luciano uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Fuckwell.
Fuckwell throws a right and a left that both miss.
Luciano moves into range and connects with a jab.
A telegraphed right hand from Luciano misses the target.
Fuckwell keeping at a good range here, avoiding a leg kick.
Luciano just misses with a punch to the body.
Fuckwell misses with a left hand
and Luciano counters nicely by changing levels and landing a hook to the body.
Luciano uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Fuckwell.
Fuckwell looks to throw the jab but Luciano is out of range.
Luciano feinted there with a counter leg kick.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fuckwell throws a nice looking combination but Luciano bobs and weaves to avoid any damage.
A little feinted left hand from Luciano on the counter but he doesn't commit to it.
Fuckwell scores with a straight right hand, right through his opponent's guard.
Luciano avoids the body shot from Fuckwell.
A nice inside leg kick there by Luciano. That's going to slow Fuckwell down.
Fuckwell swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Luciano.
Luciano attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Fuckwell on the wrong end of a nice low kick. He's acting like it's no big deal but he doesn't want to take many more of those.
A jab from Fuckwell finds it's way through Luciano's defenses.
Fuckwell throws a combination but comes up with nothing but fresh air.
Luciano was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.
Fuckwell's leg has a nasty welt from taking a succession of leg kicks. That must be slowing him down.
Fuckwell misses with a few strikes there.
A punch combination from Fuckwell misses.
Luciano uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Fuckwell.
The fighters circling - Fuckwell throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Fuckwell takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Nice cross by Luciano.
Fuckwell misses with an uppercut.
Fuckwell misses with a shot to the body
and Luciano counters with an outside leg kick.
Luciano lands a straight punch to the body, keeping Fuckwell at a distance.
Luciano avoids a punch combination nicely.
Luciano throws a body kick that digs right into the meat.
A good leg kick by Luciano.
Luciano feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Fuckwell's calf.
Luciano goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Luciano swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Luciano is really peppering his opponent's head with punches.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Luciano swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Fuckwell swings away with a counter right hand but no contact made.
Luciano tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Fuckwell appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Fuckwell misses with a looping left.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Charlie Luciano dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Eyeonly Fuckwell's cut.
That's the end of the round. The referee orders the cornermen out of the cage so we can get back down to business.

Luciano misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Fuckwell.
Luciano throws a quick inside leg kick.
Luciano throws a lazy right hand but Fuckwell sees it coming a mile off and sidesteps it easily.
Fuckwell appears to be waiting to throw a counter punch to the body.
Both these guys seem content to just stand up and trade with eachother but Fuckwell might want to think about changing up his gameplan a bit because over the course of the fight, Luciano has got the better of the exchanges.
Fuckwell misses with a head kick.
Luciano buckles his opponent's knee momentarily with a nice leg kick.
A slapping leg kick lands for Luciano.
Luciano misses the jab.
Luciano blocks a jab.
Charlie Luciano is winning the standup battle so far.
Luciano takes a shot to the eye socket. That's gotta hurt.
Fuckwell on the wrong end of a nice hook.
Fuckwell jabbing away but nothing is landing.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Fuckwell gets cracked with a nice right hand there by Luciano.
Luciano lands a nice leg kick that just misses Fuckwell's sensitive parts.
Luciano is really dominating this fight. Is there anything that Fuckwell can do to turn this around?
Luciano gets cracked there but stands up to it.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Luciano checks a low kick from Fuckwell.
Luciano throws a poor cross that misses
and Fuckwell counters with a stiff right hand.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Luciano on the wrong end of an overhand right that came out of nowhere.
The fighters circle momentarily. Fuckwell darts into range and connects with a nice straight punch.
Luciano throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Fuckwell looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Donk. Fuckwell catches Luciano right on the button with a cross.
Luciano misses with a hook
and Fuckwell counters with a good right hand that lands right on the jaw.
Luciano throws an off balance right hand
and Fuckwell cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Fuckwell misses with a straight left.
Luciano throws a jab but it's blocked by Fuckwell.
Fuckwell let fly with a counter punch to the body but it didn't land.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Luciano.
Fuckwell might want to mix his strikes up a bit more. He's just going for head shots at the moment and that can become a bit predictable.
Fuckwell throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Luciano sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Fuckwell looks to land a right hand but Luciano moved out of range.
Fuckwell steps to the side to avoid the strikes from Luciano.
Fuckwell takes a hook to the side of the head. I wonder if that's got his ears ringing.
Fuckwell loads up on a big right hand but Luciano slips the punch.
Luciano is looking to counter punch.
Fuckwell misses with a few strikes there.
As Fuckwell backs away, Luciano returns fire with a leg kick that just misses.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Fuckwell getting the better of the striking in that exchange.
The sound of bone on bone echoes around the arena as Fuckwell checks a leg kick.
Luciano thuds a mid kick into his opponent's body. That will wear on Fuckwell if he has to take too many more of those.
Nice defenses there by Fuckwell.
Luciano scores with a hook to the body. Fuckwell takes a step back and tries to catch his breath.
Fuckwell tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Luciano was well out of range. Poor timing from Fuckwell.
Luciano feints a straight left to the body, then turns around with a flashy move and hits Fuckwells jaw with a dramatic spinning back fist!
A chopping leg kick lands by Luciano.
Luciano looking to throw a kick but he's pulled out of it.
Fuckwell lands a jab-cross combination.
Fuckwell swings widly with a right hand
and he gets countered with a snapping leg kick.
A telegraphed right hand from Fuckwell misses the target.
It looked like Luciano wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Luciano throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Fuckwell throws out a token jab with nothing on it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Fuckwell misses with a shot to the body
and Fuckwell takes a counter punch right on the button for his troubles.
A big right from Luciano misses.
Fuckwell looks to land a combination but Luciano avoids it well.
It looked like Luciano wanted to counter with a hook but didn't fully commit.
Luciano uses decent footwork to sidestep a right hand from Fuckwell.
Luciano throws a lazy uppercut
and Fuckwell cracks him with a counter punch right on the button.
Fuckwell throws a looping overhand right but Luciano ducks down to avoid it.
Fuckwell fakes with a right hand and throws a good leg kick, right into the thigh. That had to hurt Luciano.
Fuckwell missing with a left hand there. Luciano was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Luciano is looking to slow Fuckwell down with leg kicks.
Luciano finds nothing but air with that leg kick attempt.
Fuckwell uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Luciano has time to react.
Fuckwell scores with a crisp jab that stopped Luciano in his tracks.
Fuckwell misses with a body shot. Nice footwork from Luciano.
You can see that Fuckwell has visibly slowed down as a result of the leg kicks
Fuckwell scores with a shot to the body.
Luciano swings and misses with a hook to the body.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Fuckwell pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Fuckwell takes a nice looking leg kick right on the meat of his thigh there.
Luciano looks to land a left hand but Fuckwell moved out of range nicely.
Luciano lands with a right hand.

That has opened up Eyeonly Fuckwell's cut even more.
Fuckwell misses with a combination
and Luciano counters with a straight punch to the midsection.
Fuckwell is breathing heavily.
Fuckwell on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Luciano. Luciano obviously looking to wear him down.
Fuckwell looks to land a right hand but Luciano moved out of range.
Luciano attempts a leg kick but it's missed by a good margin.
Fuckwell moves out of range as Luciano throws a body kick.
Fuckwell looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Fuckwell uses some good footwork to avoid the body shot by Luciano.
Luciano throws a shot from downtown. Fuckwell moves away and avoids it.
As Luciano backs off Fuckwell throws a huge counter combo but Luciano manages to avoid it all.
Fuckwell throws an ugly left hook that misses
and Luciano connects with a straight left hand counter down the middle.
The crowd applaud the fighters' efforts here as the round comes to an end.
Luciano tries to score with a low kick but Fuckwell moves his leg out of the way.
Luciano walks into a straight right hand from Fuckwell.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Charlie Luciano will probably get the nod.
The cut man is working on Eyeonly Fuckwell's cut.
Well, the break between rounds is over. Let's get back to the scrappin! This is the final round!

Luciano slips under a jab.
Fuckwell tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Luciano was well out of range. Poor timing from Fuckwell.
Luciano misses with a straight left.
Luciano throws a big shot that misses.
Like a baseball bat into the meat of his leg there - nice leg kick by Luciano.
Fuckwell connects with a slap. Keep your fist closed son.
Luciano defending well as Fuckwell loads up on a big left hand.
Fuckwell throws a hook but Luciano blocks it.
Luciano lands a nice looking kick to the body. Fuckwell takes a step back to recover.
Luciano is looking to score with low kicks.
We've had a slow start to the round here - hopefully the action picks up.
Fuckwell is pinned up against the cage taking some big shots here. The referee is looking closely deciding whether he should stop the fight.
Luciano lands a leg kick and bounces back out of range.
Luciano looks to score with a jab to the body but Fuckwell is just out of range.
Fuckwell just misses with a punch to the body.
Fuckwell waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Luciano.
Luciano was looking to counter that move with a punch but didn't quite pull the trigger.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Luciano avoids the body shot from Fuckwell.
Luciano lands a leg kick that knocks Fuckwell off balance momentarily.
Luciano moves away from the strike by Fuckwell.
A looping hook to the body misses from Luciano. Fuckwell does a little dance to reset his feet.
Fuckwell looks like he wants to counter punch here.
Luciano ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Fuckwell moves away.
Luciano throws a leg kick but Fuckwell sees it coming and moves out of range.
Fuckwell looked like he wanted to counter with a punch but didn't throw it.
Fuckwell throws a leg kick that is checked
and Luciano counters with a low kick, right behind Fuckwell 's knee.
Fuckwell just misses with a punch to the body.
Fuckwell ducks under a wild hook from Luciano.
Fuckwell on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
A looping hook to the body misses from Fuckwell. Luciano does a little dance to reset his feet.
Luciano lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
A nice leg kick lands there from Luciano.
Luciano fakes and then throws a beautiful body shot. Fuckwell looks a bit winded and takes a step backwards to take a breath.
Fuckwell throws out a loose jab but Luciano uses good head movement to avoid it.
Eyeonly Fuckwell has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Luciano looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Luciano misses with a wild body shot.
Fuckwell fails to land with a series of punches.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
Luciano looking to take his opponent's legs away with the low kicks.
Fuckwell throws the left hand but Luciano avoids the punch easily.
Some wild striking there from Fuckwell.
Luciano misses with a leg kick.
Luciano lands with a nice body punch.
Fuckwell takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Fuckwell misses with a right hand
and Luciano counters with a lovely straight right hand!
Luciano staying out of range there.
Luciano works the jab nicely.

Fuckwell is rocked!
Luciano feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Fuckwell's calf.
Fuckwell is still on wobbly legs! Can Luciano finish him?
Luciano throws a pinpoint strike between Fuckwell's hands that connects right on the jaw and sends Fuckwell crashing to the floor! He's out before he even hits the mat and Luciano scores a great knockout victory!

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3:56 of round 3, we have a winner by way of KO (Punch). Charlie Luciano!
After winning the bout, Charlie Luciano thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.
Eyeonly Fuckwell spoke after the fight, saying 'It's at times like this, one must reach deeply into his soul,challenge his heart, feel new courage, endure the fuck pain and say 'FUCK ISLAM AND MOHAMMED WAS A PEDOPHILE''.