PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Archie Bell (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Eyeonly Fuckwell (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Bell kept the crowd waiting but all that was forgotten when his ring entrance music started. The incomparable musical genius that is Supersoaker. The crowd seem to be enjoying Fuckwell's choice of entrance music: call to prayer. The crowd giving both fighters a great reception on their way into the arena. That's good to see.

Bell
vs
Fuckwell

185 cm
32
203 lbs
18 - 12 - 0

191 cm
30
194 lbs
18 - 9 - 0

Good wrestling
World class boxer
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
World class boxer
Good gas tank

Jihad Fight Gear-Outkast Infidels Version
Jihad Fight Gear-Outkast Infidels Version

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 18 - 12 - 0, fighting out of London, Archie Bell!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 18 - 9 - 0, fighting out of London, Eyeonly Fuckwell!
The judges for this bout are William Gold, Chris Edwards and Richard Clark.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Fuckwell throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Fuckwell with a body punch. A glancing blow.
A slow jab from Fuckwell misses its intended target.
Fuckwell ducks under a wild hook from Bell.
A slow jab from Bell misses its intended target.
Bell blocks a leg kick.
Bell scores with a nice strike.

It looks like Eyeonly Fuckwell has been cut.
Fuckwell misses with a wild body shot.
Bell throws an uppercut from half a mile away. Fuckwell sees it coming and avoids it easily.
Fuckwell lands with an uppercut that bounces Bell off the cage and back into range.
The fighters circling - Fuckwell throws out the jab but it was never going to land.
Bell staying out of range there.
Fuckwell scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.
Bell on the wrong end of a vicious looking body shot.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Fuckwell misses with a straight right.
Bell uses good footwork to avoid the strikes from Fuckwell.
Bell slips a jab from Fuckwell.
Bell misses with a looping left.
Nice defenses there by Fuckwell.
Jab by Bell.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Bell lands a right hook to the body.
A jab from Fuckwell misses.
Bell connects with a jab.
Fuckwell on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.
Eyeonly Fuckwell seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Bell blocks a jab.
Bell throws a sloppy head kick and Fuckwell moves out of range easily.
Bell throws a shot from downtown. Fuckwell moves away and avoids it.
Fuckwell bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Bell scores with a nice right hand.
Bell thuds a mid kick into his opponent's body. That will wear on Fuckwell if he has to take too many more of those.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Fuckwell looks up at the clock. Bad move! Bell lands a right hand from hell, dropping Fuckwell. Bell pounces and finishes the fight with a flurry of punches and elbows.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 1:42 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Archie Bell!
During a confident post fight interview, Archie Bell thanked all his fans. He seemed very genuine when describing how motivated his fans keep him.
Eyeonly Fuckwell spoke after the fight, saying 'It's at times like this, one must reach deeply into his soul,challenge his heart, feel new courage, endure the fuck pain and say 'FUCK ISLAM AND MOHAMMED WAS A PEDOPHILE''.