PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a welterweight MMA rules bout between Eric Cartman (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Rumina Sato (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Cartman comes to the cage accompanied by Santana Ft Everlast - Put Your Lights On. Sato has chosen Call to prayer of islam as his entrance music. Rumors backstage are that the fighters have been paid to keep it standing but we know that would never happen in MMA!

Cartman
vs
Sato

170 cm
36
185 lbs
26 - 15 - 0

185 cm
29
175 lbs
14 - 7 - 0

Great wrestler
Excellent boxer
Insanely flexible

Good wrestler
World class MT
Granite chin

Jihad Fight Gear-Outkast Infidels Version
Jihad Fight Gear-Outkast Infidels Version

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the welterweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 26 - 15 - 0, fighting out of Amsterdam, Eric Cartman!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 14 - 7 - 0, fighting out of London, Rumina Sato!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, and Don Winkell.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Cartman throws a series of punches but Sato moves out of range.
Sato misses with a body kick.
Cartman tries a low kick but Sato avoids it.
Sato slips under a jab from Cartman.
Sloppy strikes from Cartman. Those never looked like landing.
A head kick misses from Sato.
Cartman swings for the body but Sato moves out of range.
Sato takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Sato throws a head kick that misses and slips in the process. He scrambles back to his feet and the fighters circle.
Sato misses with a body kick.
Sato on the receiving end of a decent leg kick there by Cartman. Cartman obviously looking to wear him down.
Sato throws a low kick, looking for Cartman's leg but Cartman calmly moves out of range.
Sato bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Rumina Sato seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Cartman shoots in for a takedown - he's clinched up with Sato but Sato pushes him off and we're back to square one.
Sato leaves Cartman with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Sato lands with a nice body punch.
Sato throws a series of punches but Cartman moves out of range.
Cartman is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Sato.
Sato takes a jab on the nose there. A little bit of blood seems to be coming out. Hopefully that won't affect his breathing.
Cartman ducks under an overhand right and circles away with a smile on his face.
Cartman listening to his corner there, landing a nice uppercut.
Sato looks to land a body kick but Cartman moved away.
That kick from Cartman tenderised Sato's leg. Sato is trying to keep his angry face on.
A slapping body kick lands there for Sato.
Cartman avoids the head kick by Sato.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Sato lands a kick to the ribs of his opponent. Nice work there - in and out in a flash.
Sato moves out of range as Cartman strikes.
Sato misses with a head kick.
Sato looks for the body kick but Cartman saw that one coming.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Cartman takes a nasty kick to the mid section... That should keep him thinking. Does he try and block and risk a head kick landing?
Horrible takedown by Cartman or perhaps it was just good defense by Sato which made him look bad.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Eric Cartman. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Sato slips a jab and a cross from Cartman.
Cartman misses with a low kick.
Sato uses good head movement to avoid the hook from Cartman.
Sato throws an overhand right that lands on Cartman's shoulder, as Cartman tries to avoid the shot.
Sato moves out of range as Cartman strikes.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Sato moves away.
A bone on bone clash there as Cartman blocks the leg kick.
Cartman waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Sato.
Cartman will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
Sato throws a head kick that Cartman semi-blocks.
Sato throws a head kick but Cartman moves out of range.
Cartman has a takedown stuffed.
Cartman with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Sato to score with a decent uppercut.
Sato tries a head kick but it misses.
A head kick by Sato misses

and Cartman counters with a nice double leg into guard.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Sato avoiding any damage from the ground and pound.
Sato is trying to control the position but Cartman postures up.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Cartman passes into half guard.
Cartman landing with strikes to the body and head, softening up his opponent.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Cartman wants to control but Sato is keeping him busy.
Cartman is nestled in close to Sato, controlling him well. He's worked in a nice elbow to the side of the head as well, for good measure.
Sato wants to get back to his feet.
Cartman is keen to just control but Sato is a slippery customer.
Sato makes his way to full guard. A much better position for Sato.
Cartman looking to pass the guard.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Sato is trying to control the position from the bottom.
Cartman missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close round but I would say that Eric Cartman will probably get the nod.
That's the end of the interval. I'm sure that seemed a lot quicker than a minute for our two fighters! Back to the action.

Cartman misses with a wild body shot.
Sato throws a head kick that connects with a bit of head and a bit of hand.
Rumina Sato seems to be getting the better of the standup.
Cartman ducks down and throws a hook to the body but Sato moves away.
Sato fakes the leg kick and cracks Cartman in the body.
Sato will need to close the distance a bit before he attacks - that leg kick was thrown from too far away.
A thudding body kick lands there by Sato!
Cartman waving his hands out in front of him, looking to distract Sato.
Sato takes a swing at Cartman's ribcage but misses.
Sato throws a half hearted mid kick.
Cartman wants to land a leg kick but Sato is out of range.
Sato stumbles momentarily as he takes a strong leg kick from Cartman.
Sato fakes high and swings low for a body shot but Cartman manages to avoid it.
A looping hook to the body misses from Sato. Cartman does a little dance to reset his feet.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Sato misses with a head kick.
Cartman throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Sato goes for a spinning back kick but it misses.
Sato throws a lazy uppercut

and Cartman counters with a nice shoot takedown that brings the fighters to the ground.
Sato tries to land a sweep but no joy.
There's a bit of a scramble here and now Sato is on top in guard.
Sato controlling from the guard. I say controlling but really, he's stalling.
Cartman pulls Sato in close to prevent any damage.
Cartman has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
Sato preventing the sweep.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman is pulling down on Sato's head. It's preventing any offense from Sato, at least for the moment.
Wooooo! Give it up for these two warriors! They are putting on a show!
The fighters are starting to perspire pretty heavily.
Sato tries to stand but Cartman is controlling from the bottom.
Cartman looking for a sweep. Not yet Cartman, not yet.
Cartman might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.

The ref stands the fighters back up, due to lack of action by Rumina Sato.
Cartman shapes like he's going to throw a leg kick but settles back down.
Cartman looks to score with a combo but nothing lands.
Sato throws a head kick that misses.
Sato throws a body kick but he wasn't in range.
Cartman throws a nice outside leg kick.
Cartman takes a step towards his opponent and connects with a left hand, before circling away.
Sato bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Cartman throws a leg kick but Sato checks it.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Sato bobs and weaves well there to avoid the strikes.
Cartman displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Sato throws out the jab.
Cartman takes a push kick to the midsection and stumbles backwards.
Cartman on the wrong end of a kick to the body.
Sato misses with a kick to the body.
Sato pulls out of a head kick attempt.
Cartman shoots in looking for a takedown. Sato tries to sprawl out of it but Cartman keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. Sato manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
Sato scores with a head kick.
Cartman blocks a head kick by Sato.

Cartman shoots in with a lovely double leg takedown. Sato manages to land in full guard to minimise the damage.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Sato pulls Cartman in close to prevent any damage.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Cartman trying to control but Sato is working from the bottom.
Cartman postures up to throw the ground and pound strikes but they don't connect.
Cartman keeps in close for a moment and lands a decent shot to the side of Sato's head.
Sato wants to stand and escape but Cartman is having none of it.
Cartman throwing shots from guard but he's hitting more mat than opponent.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Cartman postures up and lands some nice ground and pound.
Cartman won't allow Sato to sweep him here.
Sato is adopting a defensive guard.
Eric Cartman overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.
Cartman is working Sato over from the guard. He should look to pass the guard and do a little more damage with these strikes.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

That was a close second round but I would say that Eric Cartman will probably get the nod.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business. This is the final round!

Sato misses with an attempted mid kick.
A slow jab from Cartman misses its intended target.
Cartman lands with a straight right. Sato didn't see that one coming.
Sato wants to land a leg kick but Cartman is out of range.
Cartman lands a slapping body shot.
Cartman throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Sato's waist but Sato gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Cartman off to one side.
Cartman throws a jab but it's blocked by Sato.
Cartman takes a thudding leg kick, right into the meat of the thigh.
Sato with a jab.

Sato gets caught on his heels momentarily as he allows Cartman to score an easy takedown into full guard.
Cartman trying to control the position from guard on top but Sato is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Sato wants to sweep but no luck.
Sato has his hands on Cartman's head, controlling the position.
Cartman loading up with the ground and pound but he's missing more than he's landing in this flurry.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Sato looking to sweep using the butterfly guard but Cartman puts pay to that idea as he passes nicely into half guard.
Sato wants to control but Cartman is keeping busy.
Cartman slips a nice elbow through Sato's hands, connecting with Sato's forehead.
Cartman scoring with strikes to the body and head.
Cartman thows a huge punch but Sato dodges it nicely.
Cartman prevents Sato from standing back up.
Rumina Sato has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Eric Cartman is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Cartman controlling the action here.
Cartman seems to have a rather negative gameplan on the ground. He seems keen to just score the takedown and hold down Sato for as long as he can get away with.
Cartman stops Sato from getting back to his feet.
The referee calls for the fighters to work.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up, due to lack of activity on the part of Eric Cartman.
Sato misses with a head kick.
Cartman slips a jab from Sato.
Sato scores with a hook.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Cartman with poor footwork there. He got himself in a bit of a tangle, enabling Sato to score with a decent uppercut.
Sato missing with a left hand there. Cartman was out of range so wasted energy throwing that one.
Cartman with a body punch. A glancing blow.
Sato throws a head kick that misses.
Sato looking to land some kicks to the body here.
Cartman throws a leg kick which misses Sato's front leg but catches the back leg as Sato tries to avoid it.
Sato scores with a head kick. Cartman tried to block it but didn't get his arm up in time.

Cartman fakes a strike and closes the distance, dragging Sato to the ground. Cartman is now in Sato's guard.
Sato is trying to keep Cartman in close.
Sato wants to stand but Cartman is controlling the position.
Cartman sitting in guard here, content to control.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Sato wants to improve his position but instead Cartman has moved into half guard.

Sato pushes Cartman off and gets back to his feet.
A right-left combo lands from Sato.
A slapping leg kick lands for Cartman.
Sato throws a lazy head kick

and Cartman counters with a shoot takedown into half guard.
Sato takes a big intake of breath there - he's definitely tired.
Cartman is looking to advance position but Sato won't allow it.
Sato is trying to maintain the position but Cartman is very close to passing his half guard.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Cartman looks over to his corner - he wants some instructions but his corner are not responding.

And that's the end of the fight!
Eric Cartman showed his dominance in that final round.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Cartman, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Frank Antenori scores the fight 30:27
Judge Percy O'Donnell scores the fight 30:27
Judge Don Winkell scores the fight 29:28

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Eric Cartman!
Eric Cartman seemed lost for words in his post fight interview but he remembered to thank his fans and directed everyone to his website.