PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a middleweight MMA rules bout between Mel Turd (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Gonna Spanked (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Both these guys have really solid chins. Will we see a standup war or will they both decide that a knockout is unlikely and try to win the fight elsewhere?

Turd
vs
Spanked

189 cm
29
197 lbs
9 - 1 - 0

187 cm
23
195 lbs
13 - 4 - 0

Good wrestling
Solid boxing
Cardio machine

Good wrestler
Lethal high kicks
Good gas tank

Reaper Combatwear

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the middleweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 9 - 1 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Mel Turd!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 13 - 4 - 0, fighting out of Los Angeles, Gonna Spanked!
The judges for this bout are Frank Antenori, and Timothy Bukovac.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Spanked throws a push kick but Turd slaps the foot to one side.
Turd lands an overhand right.
Turd thows a left - swing and a miss!
Spanked lands a leg kick. The shin dug right into the meat of the thigh.
Turd misses with a jab, cross combination.
Spanked misses with an attempted mid kick.

Turd gets caught flat footed, as Spanked shoots in with a quick takedown into guard.
Turd controls Spanked momentarily but Spanked frees himself.
Spanked looking to pass the guard.
Turd working a defensive guard here.
Spanked wants to control from the top but Turd keeps moving.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Spanked wants to pass the guard but Turd is keeping the position.
Turd controls Spanked momentarily but Spanked frees himself.
Spanked trying to control but Turd is working from the bottom.

The referee decides to stand the fighters back up.
Spanked tried to score with a low kick but Turd checks it.
Some wild striking there from Turd.
Spanked is the aggressor but that punch slipped nicely by Turd.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Spanked throws a looping overhand right but Turd ducks down to avoid it.
Spanked tries to score with a leg kick but it misses it's target.
Turd throws a big shot that misses.
A telegraphed right hand from Turd misses the target.
Spanked throws a hook but Turd blocks it.
Good work by Turd as he checks the leg kick.
Spanked throws a body punch but Turd moves out of range.
Jab, jab by Turd - just one landing.
Turd uses good footwork to get in and out and land a nice right hand before Spanked has time to react.
Spanked misses with a body kick.
Turd checks a leg kick.
Spanked on the wrong end of a decent looking cross there.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
A shot to the body from Turd misses
and Spanked counters with a leg kick that reverborates around the arena.
Spanked works Turd's body with a nice hook.
Spanked tests Turd's chin there with a solid looking shot.

It looks like Mel Turd has been cut.
Spanked is trying hard to land a takedown here. Turd sprawls well and keeps this one on the feet.
Turd sizes up Spanked with a pawing jab and scores with a straight right down the middle.
Turd just misses with a punch to the body.
Spanked checks a low kick from Turd.
Turd pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
Turd throws out a token jab with nothing on it.
Turd tries to check the leg kick but that clearly hurt him.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Horrible takedown by Spanked or perhaps it was just good defense by Turd which made him look bad.
Turd misses with a wild combination.
Spanked misses with a low kick as Turd jumps back.
Turd tries to clinch there but Spanked circles away.
A left lands for Turd.
Turd misses with a double jab
and Spanked makes him pay by landing a thudding low kick.
Turd is really head hunting here, hardly looking to strike to the body at all.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Turd swings widly with a right hand
and Spanked counters with a quick right hand to the jaw.
Turd throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Gonna Spanked dominated that round.
The cut man is working on Mel Turd's cut.
The referee calls time. The cornermen exit stage left and we're back to business.

Spanked tried to score with a low kick but Turd checks it.
Turd with a poor takedown
and Spanked counters with a nice body kick.
Spanked throws out a leg kick but Turd moves out of range and Spanked only half commits.
Spanked defends well against a solid takedown attempt from Turd.
Spanked dances in quickly and lands a nice inside leg kick on Turd. That did some damage!
Turd swings wildly with a right hand that was never going to find it's target.
Spanked closes the distance and takes a jab right on the nose as he does so.
Turd throws a looping left and ducks down for a takedown. He's got his arms around Spanked's waist but Spanked gets an underhook and avoids the takedown by throwing Turd off to one side.
That's three failed takedown attempts in the round for Mel Turd. That's going to take a lot out of him.
Turd drops his hands and takes a jab to the jaw for his troubles.
Spanked wants to land a leg kick but Turd is out of range.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Well, he's not going to score with shots like that. A lazy body kick attempt from Spanked.
Spanked throws a leg kick but Turd sees it coming and checks it nicely.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Spanked lands a nice leg kick that just misses Turd's sensitive parts.
Turd connects with a body shot that sends Spanked's belly button to the back.
Turd walks into a left hand.
Spanked misses with a low kick.
Spanked is looking to land body kicks.
Spanked keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Turd.
Some bone on bone action there as Turd checks a low kick. Luckily it wasn't a particularly hard one.
Spanked avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Spanked turns his hip over beautifully as he lands a nice leg kick.
Gonna Spanked seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Spanked slips under a jab.
Spanked lands a jab to the head.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Spanked is looking to slow Turd down with leg kicks.
Turd attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Spanked tries a head kick but it misses.
Spanked throws a front kick aimed at Turd's knee but Turd avoids it well.
A bone on bone clash there as Turd blocks the leg kick.
Spanked stuffs a takedown. It's all about dictating where the fight takes place and Spanked wants it to stay on the feet.
Turd chopped to the floor by a nice leg kick but he springs right back up before Spanked can pounce on him.
Spanked tries to land a leg kick but Turd saw it coming and moves away.
Spanked fails to land with the punch combination there - jab, cross, hook, miss, miss, miss.
Turd misses with a half-hearted attempt at a head kick.
Turd leaves Spanked with his face pressed against the mat as he sprawls beautifully, defending against a solid takedown attempt.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Turd scores with a nice one two combo and darts back out of range to avoid anything coming in the opposite direction.
Turd just misses with a punch to the body.
Spanked throws out a leg kick but Turd moves out of range and Spanked only half commits.
Nice cross by Spanked.
Turd throws a hard body shot but it just misses.
Spanked scores with a jab to the jaw of his opponent.

Spanked looking to score a takedown here. Turd is defending well but Spanked drives through and ends up in Turd's guard.
Turd is working an open guard here, looking to improve his position. No doubt that will leave him open to counters but at least he's being more offensive.
Turd is working the butterfly guard. He manages to land a nice scissor sweep and is now in half guard on the top. Nice move.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
This is a great period of action - very entertaining stuff!
Spanked wants to get back to full guard.
Spanked moves into full guard.
Spanked keeping full guard, as Turd tries to pass.
Turd lands a couple of elbows.
The crowd are going absolutely nuts as the round comes to an end - what a fantastic round of action!
Turd content to strike from guard, landing some decent shots.
Turd looking to pass the guard.
Turd trying to control the position from guard on top but Spanked is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Gonna Spanked showed his class in that round. I'd imagine he'll take it on all the scorecards.
The cut man is working on Mel Turd's cut.
The corners get their ten second warning. Both fighters stand from their stools and stare eachother down, ready to get back to the action. And we move into the final round!

An inside leg kick lands from Spanked.
Spanked feints and then cracks Turd's leading leg with a nice low kick. He's obviously looking to slow Turd down.
Spanked keeping a good distance there, avoiding the body shot.
Good shot there by Spanked.
Spanked paws at his opponent with the jab and then lunges in with a straight, right on the button.
Spanked connects with a jab.
Turd moves in looking to clinch but Spanked pushes him off.
Spanked misses with a hook

and Turd counters with a nice shoot takedown that brings the fighters to the ground.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
Turd in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Spanked controls Turd momentarily but Turd frees himself.
Spanked wants to sweep here but Turd controlling him for the moment.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Spanked bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in Turd's guard.
Spanked wants to pass the guard but Turd is keeping the position.
Turd working a defensive guard but Spanked manages to pass into side control anyway.
Turd is trying to get back to half guard. He's pushing on Spanked's leg. He's managed it. Nice work.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Spanked wants to lay and pray for a moment but Turd keeps working.
Turd is concentrating on defense, preventing Spanked from advancing position.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Turd works his way to full guard. Good work.
Turd controlling the position.
Turd looking to hit a scissor sweep but Spanked is one step ahead there.
Spanked trying to control the position from guard on top but Turd is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Gonna Spanked is fighting for a decision - hopefully he's judged it right and he's actually winning the fight.
The referee looks like he's ready to step in and stand the fighters back up.
Spanked controls from within his opponent's guard.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Turd controls Spanked momentarily but Spanked frees himself.

OK we're going to have a standup here. Gonna Spanked hasn't been effective enough on the ground and the referee wants a restart.
Turd is looking to clinch but Spanked is avoiding it.
Turd lunges in with swinging rights and lefts but Spanked circles away quickly and effectively.
Spanked feints with a shoulder and throws a nice leg kick to Turd's calf.
Spanked attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
Spanked with a hook.
Turd misses with a wild combination.
Spanked scores with a jab.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Turd moves out of range of the body kick from Spanked.

Spanked feints and as Turd raises his hands in defense, Spanked changes levels and drives through with a takedown into guard.
Turd is working from a closed guard but he's struggling to control his opponent.
Mel Turd has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Spanked controls the pace of the fight for a moment.
Turd is striking but Spanked is not phased and passes to half guard.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Neither fighter is being very active at the moment, with Spanked in particular looking to stall.

And that's the end of the fight!
Gonna Spanked comfortably won the final round on my scorecard.
Well Spanked has outworked and out performed his opponent in all aspects of the game today. He was simply too good and the decision should be no more than a formality. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Frank Antenori scores the fight 27:30
Judge Percy O'Donnell scores the fight 27:30
Judge Timothy Bukovac scores the fight 27:30

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Gonna Spanked!
After winning the bout, Gonna Spanked thanked all his fans and promised he'd do even better in his next fight. The crowd seemed to love his humility.