PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a light heavyweight MMA rules bout between Mel Turd (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Downey McCain (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Downey McCain will no doubt be trying to keep this one on the feet, where he has a distinct advantage.

Turd
vs
McCain

189 cm
27
205 lbs
7 - 0 - 0

210 cm
27
217 lbs
4 - 0 - 0

Good wrestling
Counter striker
KO power

BJJ Blue Belt
Excellent MT
Powerful

Damnfield clothing
Vitality

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the light heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 7 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Mel Turd!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 4 - 0 - 0, fighting out of Las Vegas, Downey McCain!
The judges for this bout are Frank Dennis, Robert Twigg and Alan Glass.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Turd misses with a looping right.
Turd catches McCain with a nice straight right. He seems pissed - ooooh, it's on now! On like donkey kong!
McCain is a painfully thin specimen of a man. You do wonder whether a good body kick would snap him clean in two.
Nice cross by McCain.
McCain throws a body punch but Turd moves out of range.
Turd has his front leg slapped to the side - a nice low kick landing there from McCain.
Nice shot by McCain.
McCain tries to clinch but Turd moves out of range.
McCain throws a sloppy head kick and Turd moves out of range easily.
Turd shoots in looking for a takedown. McCain tries to sprawl out of it but Turd keeps driving through. The fighters are pinned against the cage. McCain manages to get underhooks and after a bit of a struggle, circles away and we're back to standing.
McCain throws out a loose jab but Turd uses good head movement to avoid it.
McCain misses with a two punch combination.

Turd shoots in and gets a takedown into McCain's guard.
We've seen a great period of action over the last minute or so - credit to both fighters for going all out!
Turd landing some decent shots from guard.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Turd throwing strikes from guard but McCain blocks nicely.
McCain really doesn't want to stay on the ground with Turd. If he can't get it back to his feet, it's only a matter of time before he'll be tapping out.
Turd works over McCain with some ground and pound from guard.
Turd throws a big elbow that misses.
Turd trying to control the position from guard on top but McCain is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Turd is really struggling to control McCain but he's trying to hold on to the position.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Turd accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Turd in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Turd working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
The ref warns both fighters not to hold the cage as they work up against the meshing.
Turd keeps in close for a moment and lands a decent shot to the side of McCain's head.
McCain controls Turd momentarily but Turd frees himself.
We get told so often about how wrestlers don't like to be on their backs. Let's see if McCain can do anything to dispel that myth.
Turd postures up in McCain's guard and throws a big left but McCain blocks it.
A big thud reverberates around the arena there as Turd accidentally thumps the mat. Hopefully he's not broken his hand.
Turd in full guard, throwing the ground and pound. No damage this time.
Turd trying to control but McCain is working from the bottom.
Turd cracks McCain with a solid left hand.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Turd stands up and looks to throw the legs aside to pass to side control. McCain swivels though and keeps the full guard.
Turd is looking to work some ground and pound but McCain has wrist control.
Turd throws an elbow that misses. McCain uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Turd's guard. Nice move by McCain!
McCain is fighting to break Turd's control of his arms but Turd is doing a good job of controlling the position at the moment.
Turd is trying to keep McCain in close.
Turd might be looking to lock onto one of his opponent's long limbs for a submission, whilst we're on the ground.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
McCain trying to control the position from guard on top but Turd is wriggling around, looking for whatever he can.
Turd manages to sweep nicely, so he's now on top. McCain manages to get himself to full guard.
Turd cracks McCain with a solid left hand.
Turd has been looking to land a fair amount of strikes on the ground. He might be looking to soften his opponent up in order to work for a submission.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Turd throws an elbow that misses. McCain uses the momentum to reverse the position. He's now in Turd's guard. Nice move by McCain!
Turd bucks up whilst keeping hold of a body lock, managing to reverse the position. Now he's in top in McCain's guard.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Mel Turd dominated that round.
The minute break is over - no more time for sponges and pep talks - back to the action!

McCain wants to clinch.
McCain throws a shot to the body.
McCain takes a swing at Turd's ribcage but misses.

McCain takes the fight into the clinch.
Turd is looking to break free of the clinch but McCain has double underhooks.
McCain throws a punch but it's blocked by Turd.
Turd wants to strike at distance but he can't break free of the clinch.
McCain lands an elbow that stopped Turd in his tracks for a moment.

It looks like Mel Turd has been cut.
McCain is trying to break free.
Turd lands with a light punch inside.
McCain has a couple of punches blocked by Turd.
Turd misses with a punch on the inside.
Turd blocks an elbow strike.

That's one minute gone in the round.
McCain lands a hook to the side of the head.
Turd lands a right uppercut that snaps the head of McCain backwards.
Turd has a couple of punches blocked by McCain.
Turd pushes McCain back against the cage and lands a hook to the side of the head.
Turd takes a shot to the head.
Turd scores with a shoulder strike.

Turd manages to break the clinch.
Turd thows a body shot but no joy.
McCain scores with a jab to the jaw.
McCain tries a switch kick but it misses it's target.
Turd rushes forward with a series of wild hooks but McCain moves out of range and avoids them all easily.
Turd slips under a jab.
Fantastic stuff here - a very entertaining period of action, which has drawn cheers from the crowd.
Turd swings away but doesn't land with a series of punches.

Turd closes the distance and gets a double leg, slamming McCain to the mat! McCain manages to get full guard.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Turd working some ground and pound from guard but it's not doing any damage.
McCain working the defensive guard well to avoid strikes from Turd.
Turd is looking to work some ground and pound but McCain has wrist control.
McCain controls Turd momentarily but Turd frees himself.
McCain utilising some decent striking defenses from the guard, preventing the ground and pound.
Turd postures up and lands a big shot to McCain's brow.
Turd missing there with some ground and pound from the guard.
Turd chips away with some ground and pound.
Turd wants to control from the top but McCain keeps moving.
Mel Turd overall seems to be getting the better of the ground position in the fight so far.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
Turd is sitting in guard, working some ground and pound.
Turd wants to control from the top but McCain keeps moving.
Turd is just sitting in guard, looking to avoid any submissions.
If this pace continues, the referee will definitely step in and force a standup.
Turd scoring with some ground and pound.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Turd is looking to work some ground and pound but McCain has wrist control.
Turd postures up in McCain's guard and throws a big left but McCain blocks it.
Turd tries to free his leg and advance position but McCain is retaining full guard.
Turd throws a big elbow that misses.
Turd is looking to work some ground and pound but McCain has wrist control.
Turd is in close to McCain's body, working some short punches and elbows.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
Turd wants to pass the guard but McCain is keeping the position.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Turd throws a big right hand that misses.
And that’s the end of the round – the fighters go back to their corners.

Mel Turd dominated that second round.
The cut man is working on Mel Turd's cut.
The fighters' corners scream their final instructions, as the referee calls time. Here we go, back to the action! Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final round!

Turd misses with a double jab.
McCain tries to close the distance and clinch up against the cage but Turd paws at him with a jab and circles away.
McCain takes a solid shot to the body. That one hurt him but he's trying not to show it.
Turd shoots in for a takedown but doesn't get it.
A nice inside leg kick there by McCain. That's going to slow Turd down.
McCain swings and misses with a hook to the body.
McCain misses with a wild body shot.
Turd misses the shot to the body.
McCain displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Turd throws out the jab.
McCain pivots, looking for a leg kick but Turd is out of range and McCain settles back down.
Turd thows a body shot but no joy.
Turd checks the leg kick.
Turd displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as McCain throws out the jab.
Mel Turd is looking to throw some combinations by the looks of things.

That's one minute gone in the round.
Turd pushing out the jab but it's not landing.
McCain closes the distance but Turd moves to the side
and Turd counters with a straight right hand.
Turd attempts a low kick but it misses it's target.
McCain gets his head snapped back by a nice shot there.
McCain moves in looking to clinch but Turd pushes him off.
McCain tries to land with a swinging hook to the body but Turd was well out of range. Poor timing from McCain.
Turd drops his hands momentarily and McCain takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
McCain throws a monster uppercut resembling something out of street fighter but it doesn't land.
Turd drops his hands momentarily and McCain takes advantage with a crisp shot to the head.
McCain keeping his hands up high there, blocking the jab from Turd.
McCain tries to clinch up.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Turd takes a kick to the body and keeps moving.
McCain wants to clinch.
McCain displays some good footwork, moving neatly out of range as Turd throws out the jab.
Downey McCain seems to be the more aggressive standup fighter in this bout.
Turd takes a shot right to the bread basket.
Turd takes a head kick and keeps coming.
The crowd are loving this. Great action here.
McCain wants to clinch up but Turd keeps it at a distance.
Turd takes one on the chin but keeps coming.
Turd thuds a left hand into McCain's body.
Turd throws a right and a left that both miss.
Turd throws an overhand right that lands on McCain's shoulder, as McCain tries to avoid the shot.

That's three minutes gone in the round.
McCain fails with an attempt to clinch.
McCain throws a hook but Turd blocks it.
McCain has used his reach advantage pretty well so far tonight.
Turd uses good head movement to avoid the hook from McCain.
Turd avoids a lazy jab quite easily.
McCain tries to clinch up.
McCain tries to clinch there but Turd circles away.

Turd fakes an overhand right and shoots for a takedown. McCain sprawls well initially but Turd persists and gets the takedown into half guard.
Turd scoring with strikes to the body and head.
McCain avoiding damage under a succession of punches from Turd.
Turd winds up and cracks McCain with a swinging punch to the side of the head.
Turd not landing any meaningful shots this time.

That's four minutes gone in the round.
Turd thows a wild elbow that connects with the canvas.
Downey McCain has stepped it up - he knows he needs a finish here!
Neither fighter is being very active at the moment, with Turd in particular looking to stall.
Turd works his way into side control.
Mel Turd is fighting for a decision here - he's started to take the cautious approach.
The crowd cheering loudly, showing their appreciation for the quality fight we're seeing here.
McCain managing to avoid any damage from the strikes thrown by Turd.
Turd scoring with punches from side control.
As the round comes to an end the crowd are showing their appreciation for a great round of action.
Turd controls the position.
Turd moves into full mount!

And that's the end of the fight!
That was a close round. You could make an argument for either fighter but I would give it to Mel Turd.
Well I reckon that's a shut out for Turd, winning every round. Will the judges agree? They are the ones who matter, even if they are often depressingly incompetent. Over to the ring announcer for the scorecards.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 3 rounds of action, we go to the scorecards for a decision.
Judge Frank Dennis scores the fight 30:27
Judge Robert Twigg scores the fight 30:27
Judge Alan Glass scores the fight 30:27

In favor of your winner, by unanimous decision... Mel Turd!