PBP Commentary

Coming up we have a heavyweight MMA rules bout between Pete Patterson (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class) and Chinese Guy (ranked 0 p4p, 0 weight class). Patterson's ring entrance music is that housewives' favourite, "I'm Too Sexy". Pete Patterson has the better chin. Will he look to stand and bang today?

Patterson
vs
Guy

225 cm
33
266 lbs
22 - 11 - 1

190 cm
22
285 lbs
6 - 3 - 0

Good takedowns
Decent elbows
Experienced

BJJ Purple Belt
Excellent boxer
Good gas tank

Ladies and gentlemen. This fight is 3 rounds, in the heavyweight division.
Introducing the fighter to my left, fighting out of the red corner.
With a record of 22 - 11 - 1, fighting out of Amsterdam, Pete Patterson!
And introducing the fighter to my right, fighting out of the blue corner.
With a record of 6 - 3 - 0, fighting out of Hilo, Chinese Guy!
The judges for this bout are Chris Saunders, Paul Gruel and Micheangelo Fripello.

The bell rings for round one and we are underway!
Guy misses with a series of wild punches.
Guy tries a head kick but it misses.
Horrible takedown by Guy or perhaps it was just good defense by Patterson which made him look bad.
Patterson throws a shot from downtown. Guy moves away and avoids it.

Guy feints and as Patterson raises his hands in defense, Guy changes levels and drives through with a takedown into guard.
We could do with one of the fighters taking the initiative a bit more on the ground - they're both waiting to capitalize on a mistake.
We may be looking at a referee standup if the pace doesn't pick up soon.

Guy drops back looking for a heel hook - he quickly realises he's not going to get it but Patterson manages to dive on top of him before he can escape and now Guy has Patterson in his guard.

Patterson postures up as if he's going to throw some strikes but drops back for an ankle! Guy is in big trouble! He looks ready to tap! But no, he's escaped and dives on top of Patterson, into his guard.
Patterson wants to get back to his feet but Guy is in a dominant position and won't allow it.

That's one minute gone in the round.

Guy drops back for a leg! It's a sloppy attempt though and Guy jumps back into guard quickly, to retain the dominant position.
The fighters are pressed up against the cage, both looking to find a bit of space to work.
Guy advances to half guard.
Guy throwing shots but they're hitting the canvas more than the man.
Guy thumps the canvas. Not on purpose obviously - he just missed Patterson's head.
Guy trying to control from half guard but Patterson is working away.

Guy gets to his feet - back to striking we go!
Guy looks frustrated there after his takedown attempt is stuffed easily.

That's two minutes gone in the round.
Patterson slips a jab and a cross from Guy.
Guy avoids the clinch attempt nicely.
Patterson really does look like a pencil wearing a pair of gloves. Let's hope he has a gameplan to suit that ridiculous body shape.
Guy misses with a takedown attempt. He shot from a bit too far out.
Pete Patterson has stuffed three takedown attempts in the round now. That's going to take a lot out of Chinese Guy.
Guy scores with a shot to the body.
Patterson is breathing heavily.
Patterson closes the distance and clinches up with Guy, looking for a takedown. Patterson pushes Guy against the cage but Guy circles to the side and manages to break the clinch.
The fans in attendance giving it up for the two fighters, who have really let it all hang out in the last minute or so!

Guy drops Patterson with a nice combination! Guy dives into Patterson's guard, looking to finish!

Patterson is rocked!

It looks like Pete Patterson has been cut.
Guy postures up from his opponent's guard, before exploding into some vicious ground and pound! Patterson covers up, he's hurt! Guy keeps throwing the strikes, glancing at the referee... Will he stop it?? One more big shot from Guy and the ref steps in to end the fight! Guy can't hide his delight as he celebrates with his corner.

Ladies and gentlemen, after 2:58 of round 1, we have a winner by way of TKO (Strikes). Chinese Guy!
A relieved looking Chinese Guy thanked the fans for their support and gave the usual line about them being amazing. They seemed to believe that he actually meant it.